Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque To Compete in LPGA Tour

Stockholm, Sweden – (satireworld.com) Swedish Olympic Athlete Ivana Phuque, who has won speed skating medals in the Winter Olympics and pole vaulting medals in the Summer Olympics, has decided to expand her activities to include golf.  She will compete in the 2019 LPGA tour.

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Ronco and The Franklin Mint Combine with Democratic Party on Commemorative Plate Set

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) As a fund raiser for the 2020 Presidential Election, the Democratic Party has contracted with Ronco and The Franklin Mint to release a series of commemorative plates.  They will include such famous party individuals as Bill Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi, and others.

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Emergency Room Admissions To Soar On Trump’s FEMA Text Alert Trial

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Thursday’s debut of the Presidential Alert of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System hit a bum note today with proctologists warning of ‘potentially dire consequences’ as telecoms providers promised to crank up cell phone tones and vibration functions ahead of the anticipated trial.

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Maxine Waters Fails Hearing Test

Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com) California Democrat Maxine Waters became flustered at a recent rally where she called for ‘impeachment’ but couldn’t hear her own words. Afterward, close confidants and aides suggested that the 78 year old congresswoman get her hearing tested.

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Turkish Cleric Warns About Masturbation

Istanbul, Turkey – (satireworld.com) A Muslim cleric has warned that men who pleasure themselves could make their hands pregnant in the afterlife.

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Annual “Throw a Paper Airplane at a Mosque Day” Guidelines Released

Religion-of-Peace Mall Hershey Highway, PA – (satireworld.com) The rules and guidelines for the annual “Throw a Paper Airplane at a Mosque Day” commemoration of 9/11 will take place on 10/11 this year.  The quiet and peaceful demonstration has quickly spread across the United States in memory of the tragedy of September 11th, when Moslem terrorists […]

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Michael Jordan Announces Another Comeback

SPORTS NEWS NETWORK- Michael “Air” Jordan, who is often called the greatest basketball player of all time, has announced that he will make his 3rd comeback attempt at age 55.  Jordan originally played for the Chicago Bulls from 1984 – 1993, retired to try his hand at baseball, came back to the Bulls from 1995 – […]

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We Have the Barack Obama

New York NY – (satireworld.com) The 73rd session of the United Nations (UN) opened in early September 2018 in New York City (NYC) with a meeting of the UN General Assembly of 193 nations at its Turtle Bay Headquarters. The heads of state of various nations presented their world view and problems for consideration at […]

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2019 Dancing With The Stars To Feature All Plus Size Contestants

Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com) Network officials and show producers have announced that the 2019 season of “Dancing With The Stars” will feature nothing but “big” contestants.  The “big,” however, is not what you would normally thing of as “big Hollywood stars.”  All of next year’s contestants will be plus sized.

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NYC Bans Coney Island Whitefish

New York NY: New York City (NYC) (satireworld.com) Democratic Mayor Bill de Blasio and the NYC Council have passed an ordinance banning Coney Island Whitefish. The Coney Island Whitefish, better known as a Condom (latex/rubber), cannot now be disposed of in any manner (like flushing) that causes this protective device to wind up in any […]

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Nike’s Next Commercial To Feature Hanoi Jane Beheading Christians

Boston, MA – (satireworld.com) Nike, which is trying to corner and control the market on Un-Americans and Anti-Americans, has announced a follow-up to their Colin Kaepernick commercials.  Famous traitor and subversive “Hanoi” Jane Fonda, who has been found guilty of treason in the court of public opinion but not in the Hollywood and Democratically controlled […]

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Pedophile Jared Fogle Becomes Singer/Songwriter in Prison

Safford, AZ- (satireworld.com) The Federal Bureau of Prisons has released information that Jared Fogle, former Subway spokesman, has written and recorded several songs while serving in prison.  Fogle is currently incarcerated in Safford, Arizona and is serving a sentence for having child pornography and for engaging in illicit sexual contact with underage women.

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Kim Kardashian Selected By Celebrity Panel as Least Talented Person in America

Hollywood,CA – (satireworld.com) Kim Kardiashian (a.k.a. Kim Kartrashian) was recently selected by a Hollywood celebrity panel as being the Least Talented Person in America.  This was the sixth straight win for Kim, breaking the previous record set by Paris Hilton.  The highest placed male in the contest was Ryan Seacrest, who came in second for […]

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Smokin’ Gun News: The Brit Bravery Gong That’s Driving Trump Psychotic

London – (SatireWorld.com) The citation ‘For Acts Of The Greatest Heroism + Conspicuous Courage In Circumstances of Extreme Danger’ perfectly defines Britain’s highest peacetime award.

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Remakes of Once Popular Television Shows To Be Updated Due To Political Correctness

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) There is talk of making the next James Bond into a black man.  The latest Battlestar Gallactica changed the gender of several characters (including Starbuck and Boomer).  The new Lost In Space remake has changed the race of one of the Robinson children, the gender of the doctor, and […]

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Study Finds Some Girls Are Boy Crazy Even as Toddlers

While several leftists social scientists and thinkers are trying to tell us that we imprint gender identities on children as they grow up, others are finding that the traditional gender roles are already present in toddlers.

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Meghan McCain Threatens Trump Over Twinkie Plant Closing

Muffinville, AZ – (SatireWorld.com) Pampered snot-bag and full time RINO, Meghan McCain threatened to cutoff all and any affiliation with the Republican Party after talks with fellow View panelists who placed the blame on Republicans for Hostess Brands shuttering its Twinkie plant doors in Texas after years of union unrest. Her apparent unhappiness with Republicans […]

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The First Man Controversy Explained; A SatireWorld Editorial

NASA – (satireworld.com) In the summer of 1969, The United States of America launched the Apollo 11 spaceflight.  It landed on the moon on July 20th and Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the moon the next day.  He was the followed by Buzz Aldrin.  Training for the mission was done in […]

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Illinois Republican Congressional Candidates Admit to Campaigning in Cemeteries

Chicago, IL – (satireworld.com) All of the Republican candidates in the Chicago area have admitted that they are campaigning in the cities cemeteries for the 2018 midterm elections.  The famous Illinois cemetery vote, which has historically been 100% for the Democrats since the 1960 Presidential election (which gave the election to Kennedy over Nixon). 

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Nancy Pelosi Claims Trump Should Be Impeached Because “He Likes Big Titties”

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Democratic Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi of  the Fruitcake, California district, who is constantly looking everywhere to attempt to make President Donald Trump look bad, has now decided that he should be impeached because “he likes large breasted women.”

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After Banning Straws, California Democrats Seek To Outlaw Coffee Stirrers

San Francisco, CA – (satireworld.com) After successfully managing to ban straws in California in all restaurants and stores, the state’s Democrats are no seeking to ban coffee stirrers.  Party spokesman Buff Limpnoodle addressed the intended actions in a press conference outside of a San Francisco Starbucks.

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Satire World’s….WORD OF THE DAY

Satire World is pleased to present our ‘Word of the Day’ in a salute to all grammar teachers around the country. ….Please welcome Buckwheat. Buckwheat’s hilarious use of the English language and his famous word pronunciation has titillated generations. We all remember ‘O’Tay’. Today Buckwheat will use a word we supplied in a sentence…The word […]

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Exclusive: More Vatican Woes As Pope Goes To Mount Olive and Takes A hit By Popeye

Vatican City -(SatireWorld.com) In an effort to quell demands for his resignation from Vatican leaders, Pope Francis left Rome on Monday to travel to the US to visit shrines and diocese leaders. He hoped to stop at various religious landmarks he hadn't officially visited as Pope in previous US visits in an effort to shore […]

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NASA Reports Woman’s Body Discovered on Earth’s Moon

Houston, TX – (SatireWorld.com) NASA Scientists released clarifying information, along with a hastily prepared Top Secret report, addressing the recent discovery of human remains spotted laying on the surface of the Earth’s moon. The desiccated figure, reportedly dressed in what appears to be a cotton print house dress and apron, was discovered by the Hubble […]

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White Woman Claims Watching 3-D Movie Made Her Pregnant With A Black Child

Fort Bragg, NC – (SatireWorld.com) A white American couple gave birth to black baby boy in August at the Army hospital located in the sprawling Fort Bragg complex. The very surprised woman later claimed to her OB-GYN that she had become pregnant while watching a 3-D porno movie in a public theater!

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Game Host Vanna White Resigns From Wheel of Fortune After 35 Years

Wheel of Fortune – (satireworld.com) After 35 years Vanna White has called it quits at Wheel of Fortune, one of TV’s most popular shows. The resignation caused a furor after it was discovered that the show’s computer system was hacked by Russians.

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Snoop Dog and Martha Stewart…”I Make His Fo Schizzle Sizzle”

The Cooking Channel – (satireworld.com) As crazy as it seems, cooking and love of food has caused one of the strangest hook-ups in the history of celebrity relationships….Cooking and lifestyle guru Martha Stewart meets street wise pot smoking Snoop Dog!

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SatireWorld’s Douchebag of the Week…..Gov. Andrew Cuomo

Albany, NY – SatireWorld’s staff of writers has voted New York Governor Andrew Cuomo as it’s headliner…Douchebag-of-the-Week.

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FBI Fingers Hillary Clinton In Surprise Vagina Probe

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Senior FBI investigators named ex-presidential candidate Hillary Clinton as a credible source in an ongoing look at election claims which used television ad bites to promote the Democratic party’s stance on certain controversial issues and uttering supposedly false charges against other candidates.

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SatireWorld Editorial Corner
  • “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong” Is New Iranian National Anthem
  • Tehran,Iran: Word from the Middle East today reports that the country of Iran has named a variation of the old Edsel’s doo-wop song as their new national anthem.  “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong,” a modified version of “Rama Lama Ding Dong,” will now be the country’s official song and will be played at the Olympics (should […]


Turdblossom's Advice Column


POLITICS
  • “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong” Is New Iranian National Anthem
  • Tehran,Iran: Word from the Middle East today reports that the country of Iran has named a variation of the old Edsel’s doo-wop song as their new national anthem.  “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong,” a modified version of “Rama Lama Ding Dong,” will now be the country’s official song and will be played at the Olympics (should […]



BUSINESS
  • 2019 Dancing With The Stars To Feature All Plus Size Contestants
  • Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com) Network officials and show producers have announced that the 2019 season of “Dancing With The Stars” will feature nothing but “big” contestants.  The “big,” however, is not what you would normally thing of as “big Hollywood stars.”  All of next year’s contestants will be plus sized.



ENTERTAINMENT
  • “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong” Is New Iranian National Anthem
  • Tehran,Iran: Word from the Middle East today reports that the country of Iran has named a variation of the old Edsel’s doo-wop song as their new national anthem.  “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong,” a modified version of “Rama Lama Ding Dong,” will now be the country’s official song and will be played at the Olympics (should […]



MAGAZINE


SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY
  • Emergency Room Admissions To Soar On Trump’s FEMA Text Alert Trial
  • New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Thursday’s debut of the Presidential Alert of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System hit a bum note today with proctologists warning of ‘potentially dire consequences’ as telecoms providers promised to crank up cell phone tones and vibration functions ahead of the anticipated trial.



SPORTS
  • Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque To Compete in LPGA Tour
  • Stockholm, Sweden – (satireworld.com) Swedish Olympic Athlete Ivana Phuque, who has won speed skating medals in the Winter Olympics and pole vaulting medals in the Summer Olympics, has decided to expand her activities to include golf.  She will compete in the 2019 LPGA tour.



UK NEWS


US NEWS
  • Emergency Room Admissions To Soar On Trump’s FEMA Text Alert Trial
  • New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Thursday’s debut of the Presidential Alert of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System hit a bum note today with proctologists warning of ‘potentially dire consequences’ as telecoms providers promised to crank up cell phone tones and vibration functions ahead of the anticipated trial.



WORLD NEWS
  • “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong” Is New Iranian National Anthem
  • Tehran,Iran: Word from the Middle East today reports that the country of Iran has named a variation of the old Edsel’s doo-wop song as their new national anthem.  “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong,” a modified version of “Rama Lama Ding Dong,” will now be the country’s official song and will be played at the Olympics (should […]



HEADLINES OF THE DAY
  • “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong” Is New Iranian National Anthem
  • Tehran,Iran: Word from the Middle East today reports that the country of Iran has named a variation of the old Edsel’s doo-wop song as their new national anthem.  “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong,” a modified version of “Rama Lama Ding Dong,” will now be the country’s official song and will be played at the Olympics (should […]



LEAD STORIES
  • “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong” Is New Iranian National Anthem
  • Tehran,Iran: Word from the Middle East today reports that the country of Iran has named a variation of the old Edsel’s doo-wop song as their new national anthem.  “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong,” a modified version of “Rama Lama Ding Dong,” will now be the country’s official song and will be played at the Olympics (should […]