Democrats Demand Trump Start Paying Rent For Living In Their Heads

WASHINGTON – (satireworld.com) President Trump has been living rent-free in the heads of tens of millions of Democrats for well over a year now, and many are finally saying “enough is enough.” They now want reparations.

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Rookie Auditions For SCOTUS Garage Band

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) US Supreme Court newby Neil Gorsuch is honing his ‘I-Shot-The-Sheriff’ tonight ahead of next week’s anticipated SCOTUS garage band audition.

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Trump Signs Four Executive Orders in His Sleep

WASHINGTON – (satireworld.com) President Trump is in the zone. He’s come out of the gate at full speed during his first week in office. Following a flurry of executive orders that were needed to begin repairing the damage that was the Obama presidency, Trump is a dynamo.

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Free College Education and Jobs is the Latest Liberal Mantra

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) After their routing in the 2016 Presidential, Congressional and State wide elections progressive Democrats needed to find other ways to spend taxpayers hard earned dollars.

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Noted Satire Writer Cheats Death

Mashpee Neck, MA – (satireworld.com) Captain America survives near death experience as Hyannis high speed ferry jumps Hyannis breakwater in attempt to shorten commuter experience

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Washington DC Metro to be Renamed Washington DC Obama

Washington DC- (SatireWorld.com) The Washington DC City Council has proposed renaming the Washington DC METRO the Washington DC OBAMA after the 44th president, who has derailed democracy in the USA for eight years. Currently the METRO suffers from mismanagement; plagued by breakdowns, failures, accidents and fires; loss of ridership; and fare increases. Long term maintenance […]

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Black Lives Matter Calls for Boycott of White Avatars

Fantasy Land – (SatireWorld.com) D’Aryll Scott-Jones, HMFIC of Black Lives Matter, called for immediate boycotts yesterday of all websites “that allow white supremacists to hide behind blank, lily-white avatars in their comments sections.” Mr. Scott-Jones made his remarks to National Public Radio’s Terri Gross.

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Kanye Bids For Seat On ExxonMobil Board

Irving, Texas – (SatireWorld.com) Buoyed by his tete-a-tete with President-elect Donald Trump rapper Kanye West has put forward his credentials to bigwigs at ExxonMobil, confident an imminent appointment is in the bag.

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Breaking News! Rolling Stones Agree To Play Trump Inauguration

New York City – (SatireWorld.com) The world’s most popular rock and roll band has agreed to play at President-elect Donald Trump’s inauguration on January 20th, 2017. This ends weeks of speculation as to who will buck the boycott placed on popular stars and celebrities who have been pressured by Democrat supporters to ignore Trump’s victory […]

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As Global Warming Heats Up Average Vagina Temperatures Drop Worldwide

Copenhagen – (SatireWorld.com) Esteemed scientist and 2008 Nobel Science Award recipient, Dr. Newton J. Blather, issued a startling warning to people everywhere concerning disturbing events he has recorded over the past year…Women and their vaginas around the world are cooling down due to global warming.

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Michelle Obama’s “‘Twas No Hope Before Christmas”

WASHINGTON – (SatireWorld.com) First Lady Michelle Obama is feeling hopeless these days. Unless her husband is the president, Michelle believes there is no hope for America. She was proud of this once great nation while it footed the bill for her world travels. But now that her home girl Hillary has been sent packing, suddenly, […]

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God “Sick and Tired of Being Everybody’s Damn Witness”

HEAVEN– (SatireWorld.com) The Lord God Almighty has had it up to his Charlton Heston-like brow with people who say “as god is my witness” when they want to underscore a statement or a threat.

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Fisher-Price Toy Controversy Brings Out Internet Paul Reveres

WHEREVER – (SatireWorld.com) Paul Revere is best known as a patriot in colonial days who alerted militia to approaching British forces before the battles of Lexington and Concord. An internet Paul Revere is someone who feels compelled to alert others on social media that something is wrong with a news story. They are similar to […]

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Meet The Alt-Right’s Golden Boy

NEW YORK— (SatireWorld.com) Richard B. Spencer, who has been called the Golden Boy of the Alt-Right, will adorn the cover of GQ’s February 2017 (Valentine Day) issue. The handsome, natty, and oh-so-controversial Mr. Spencer, who seeks to spread the gospel of white nationalism, is already spreading the gospel that “Neo-Nazis” are a far cry sartorially […]

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Crappy Crony Capitalism Exposed

Washington DC- (SatireWorld.com) While Crooked Hillary Clinton was Secretary of State (SOS) and also illegally involved in the Bill and Hillary Foundation money laundering scheme she was approached by Jonas Crappy. Mr. Crappy had an idea for a completely automatic, robotic commode, but needed funding. Hillary sent an urgent email, via her illegal home server, […]

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Declining Days of Obama’s Policies, Left on the National Mall

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Liberal Democrats are in denial, pretending that Crooked lying Hillary lost because of the Electoral College, Russian hacking of voting machines and then retaining out of touch Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) as House Minority Leader. However, Americans are celebrating Republican victories at all levels of government (local, state, federal) by rejoicing […]

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SATIREWORLD’S PHOTO OF THE DAY………..

SatireWorld.com In our continuing efforts to offer our readers only the best and most relevant photos…Here’s the SatireWorld Photo of the Day!

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Fidel Castro Ashes Buried In Cigar Box In El Cheapo Cuban Funeral

Santiago de Cuba (Cuba) – (SatireWorld.com) Fidel Castro’s ashes were entombed in a massive stone next to national heroes on Sunday, as Cuba opens a new era without the communist leader who ruled for decades and killed or jailed dissenters in order to stay in power. In what’s being called the cheapest funeral for a […]

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Baltimore City to Ban Fracking

Baltimore MD – (SatireWorld.com) The newly elected Democratic Baltimore Mayor and the City Council are considering a resolution banning Fracking (Hydraulic Fracturing) for natural gas extraction within the city limits. The aim of the new law is to improve the climate, decrease global warming and to improve the health of the city’s residents.

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SatireWorld Presents…Stars Without Make-up-Photo Edition

Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) They flaunt themselves on big and small screens and draw legions of fans and admirers. But just how glamorous are these over-paid and ego filled stars in real life? Look at these unretouched photos of your favorite stars and see them in a new light….No wonder they’re unhappy and a bit […]

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President-Elect Donald Trump’s Updated Political Lexicon

New York NY – (SatireWorld.com) Republican President-Elect Donald Trump has commissioned a new dictionary for words from A to Z entitled Trumpapedia that removes the liberal/progressive nonsensical spin experienced during the Obama years. Here is a partial list:

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President Trump First Presidential Citation to be Awarded to Departing Barack Obama

Trump Transition Team, NY – (SatireWorld.com) President-elect Donald Trump spoke with reporters for a few minutes today before leaving for Manhattan. He spoke of his immediate plans upon taking the oath of office in January.

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Obama Mulls Candidacy in Cuba’s Election After Fidel Castro’s Passing

Havana, Cuba – (SatireWorld.com) Former President Fidel Castro, who led a rebel army to improbable victory in Cuba, embraced Soviet-style communism, defied the power of 10 U.S. presidents during his half-century rule, and risked world-wide nuclear war has died at age 90.

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Chelsea Clinton Wants to be a Politician like Her Mother Hillary

Chappaqua NY – (SatireWorld.com) Democrat Hillary Clinton lost to Republican Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election. (Republican’s also maintained their majority control of the US Congress.) Following her tantrum, hissy-fit and meltdown Hillary concluded that another corrupt, lying Clinton must continue the line of corruption that Bill and Hillary are famous for.

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Pending ‘Fake News’ Crackdown Will Affect CNN-MSNBC-ABC-NBC Says Confidential Sources

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Sources deep with-in the Obama Administration are claiming the President wants stricter controls over purported ‘fake news’ outlets that could have tilted voter’s ballot choices during the 2016 national elections.

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Politically Correct Titles and More Politically Correct Titles

New York NY – (SatireWorld.com) Mrs. Philbert suggested we get away from Pizmo Beach Pennsyltucky for a few days, now that the 2016 elections were over and only a few “lame ducks” remain in Washington DC. We decided to motor to “The Big Apple” New York City (NYC). Our first mistake was in using Interstate […]

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The Secrets To Avoiding Your Turn At Jury Duty

County Courthouse – (SatireWorld.com) Most people hate receiving a jury summons. This generally requires at least one day off work, downtown traffic and parking, long lines, hurry up and wait, inadequate bathroom facilities, no convenient lunch, losing coins in vending machines, rude and/or overworked employees (city, county, state, or Federal), sitting on un-padded seats in […]

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Millennial Discovers Being An Adult Is Really Hard!

Denver, CO – (SatireWorld.com) Flynn Combs is 25. He’s ‘between jobs’ and struggling to pay off his $250,000 college education loan. He also lives in his parent’s basement and drives a ‘classic car’ notably a 2002 Chevy Cavalier with 175K miles on it. By the way….Flynn Combs is pretty pissed!

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GOP to Democrats…..’Let’s Re-Ignite That Love We Once Had For Each Other’

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The GOP still basking in the shellacking it handed the gobsmacked DNC in the presidential elections of 2016. Politely offered an olive branch of sorts looking to re-ignite the friendly but competitive spirit of bygone days in the political arena.

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SatireWorld Editorial Corner

Turdblossom's Advice Column


POLITICS
  • Study Shows Democrats in 2016 Election Hampered By Low IQ Voters
  • Denver, CO – (satireworld.com) The Institute for Freedom released its annual report on the state of American politics and it shared some profound revelations. Professor Sidney Campbell’s report highlighted the disparity in 2016 voting trends and some eye opening facts about ex-Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton’s stunning loss.



BUSINESS


ENTERTAINMENT


MAGAZINE


SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY


SPORTS
  • 49ers QB Kaepernick Explains Why He Refuses to Stand for National Anthem
  • SAN FRANCISCO – (satireworld.com) San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick is facing criticism from American sports fans after he refused to stand for the national anthem before a preseason NFL game. Despite the controversy he’s caused himself, Kaepernick says he believes he’s doing the right thing and will continue to sit for the anthem going […]



UK NEWS
  • Hillary Pleads Congenital Amnesia About Amanda Knox
  • Washington AC/DC – (SatireWorld.com) She’s putting back the con into congenital amnesia in what’s thought to be a little known side effect of post-partum psychosis affecting the world’s most incorrigible liars about the existence of secret offspring they wish didn’t exist.



US NEWS


WORLD NEWS
  • Rookie Auditions For SCOTUS Garage Band
  • Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) US Supreme Court newby Neil Gorsuch is honing his ‘I-Shot-The-Sheriff’ tonight ahead of next week’s anticipated SCOTUS garage band audition.



HEADLINES OF THE DAY


LEAD STORIES
  • Trump Win For The Little Guy
  • New York Post author: Michael Goodwin And so this is how the Obama era of Hope & Change really ends. With the world turned upside down, and with President Obama having to pass the baton to Donald Trump. That is going to be one helluva inauguration.