The USA Experiences a Toilet Paper Shortage?

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Senator Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren (D-MA) and Senator Bernie “Democratic Socialism” Sander’s (I-VT) are lobbying Congress to pass a single payer (US government) healthcare plan. President Trump and the Republicans in Congress are against this socialized medicine scheme, estimated to cost between $32 to $36 trillion over 10 years. The plan would […]

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Motion Picture Academy Strips Weinstein, Vows to ‘Redistribute Oscars To Poor People’

Los Angeles, Calipornia – (SatireWorld.com) Likely beneficiaries under consideration are thought to include bankrupt former porn stars and their disenfranchised crack dealer chums who lost out on hard-won ObamaScare benefits following the election of President Trump last year.

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Anthony Weiner Say’s Weinstein Is Giving Sex Addicts A Bad Name

New York, NY – (satireworld.com) Convicted dirty old man, ex-Congressman Anthony Weiner has discounted suggestions that disgraced Hollywood movie mogul Harvey Weinstein is a true sex addict and predator toward women and said it does a ‘ huge disservice’ to those who are struggling with a deviant sex problem like himself.

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Chelsea Clinton’s New Children’s Book: “Heather Has Two Harvey’s”

NEW YORK – (satireworld.com) Chelsea Clinton has been working feverishly to finish her latest children’s book, and her mother, Hillary, has already written the foreward. The book will be published by Weinstein Books, Inc. and is titled “Heather Has Two Harvey’s.”

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Meet The One-legged Man Who’s Actually Busier Now As A One-Legged Ass Kicker

Durham, NC – (satireworld.com) Morris Helms says he’s never been busier! The retired veteran, who looks a healthy 50 instead of being a few days away from turning 65, says ever since he read an ad looking for contestants in a local amateur mixed martial arts contest he’s been very busy on Saturday nights. “ […]

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Transgender Conversion Machine Patented

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) US Patent Number 93409353 was issued to Dr. Virginia Phallus for a Transgender Conversion Machine (TCM). Dr. Phallus has a Medical degree (specializing in Reproductive Systems) from Johns Hopkins University and both Electronics and Mechanical Engineering degrees from George Washington University.

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Harvey Weinstein’s ‘Casting Couch Productions’ Opens School For Public Perversion and Starlet Groping

Los Angeles, CA – (Satireworld.com) As part of the GLADD, NAMBLA, and unwanted sexual aggressiveness outreach program, the Harvey Weinstein’s ‘Casting Couch Productions’ School Of Public Perversion and Starlet Groping has received its first installment of a $2 million dollar grant from the California Department of Health and Human Services completing a decades-old search to […]

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Swinestein Headlines Trump NRA ‘Bum Stocks’ Ploy

New York – (SatireWorld.com) – Sheepish-looking alleged sex pest Harvey Winestein, 69, was off rehab clinic this weekend amid lurid claims “it’s all a ploy” by the fake news industry to dumb down other, more sordid stuff.

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Obituary: “Civil Rights” Dead at 77

London UK: [satireworld.com] “Civil Rights” passed away during a National Football League (NFL) sponsored American football game staged in this city between the Baltimore Ravens and the Jacksonville Jaguars. The cause of death, according to the London Coroners Office, was a massive heart attack over lack of respect when both teams took a knee during […]

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‘Fake News’ Writer Found Dead in Florida Home

Blountstown, FL [satireworld.com]- A leading purveyor of fake news in the 2012 and 2016 presidential election has died outside the sleepy Florida town of Blountstown at the age of 38. Sheriff’s Office spokesman Tobias Roja said Tuesday authorities discovered Phillip Fester dead in his bed on Sept. 18.

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Oppressed Multi-Millionaire Stevie Wonder Takes A Knee

New York, NY – [satireworld.com] Aging singer Stevie Wonder became the latest “oppressed” multi-millionaire coddled elitist to take a knee to show solidarity with Colin Kaepernick and other NFL athletes who have decided to kneel when the National Anthem is played prior to all football game activity.

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Democrat asks….What Has Trump Done Anyway?

Washington, DC – [satireworld.com] Well, we’ve been keeping score here at Satire World and so far, even in the midst of the liberal media’s ire and often recurring truth twisting, the results are pretty impressive for Donald Trump the non politician.

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Assisted Suicide Theory As Top Russian Banker Found Shot Dead

Moscow – [SatireWorld.com] In a case spookily reminiscent of the tragic – and slightly unexplained – 1993 RIP of Clinton White House deputy counsel Vince Foster a senior banker at Moscow’s state-owned GazPogromBank was found ‘suicided’ this morning, with two silver bullets lodged inside his head.

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Church of Demonic Hillary Holds First Meeting

Chappaqua NY- (satireWorld.com) After losing the 2016 Presidential Election to Republican Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton announced her intentions to become a Clergyman, rather than a Nun. Hillary has established the Church of Demonic Hillary and intends to build a 20,000 seat Mega-Church building (federal tax free) on her property, funded by the new Bill and […]

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UN Warns Of Upcoming Catastrophe As 40,000 Face Axe

NYC, New York – (SatireWorld.com) There were scenes of devastation outside the United Nations Plaza today amid a protest by forty thousand of the UN’s 44,000 payroll staff who have suddenly been given the sack.

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Pasadena Nixes Rose Bowl Marching Deal With North Korea Due To International Tensions

Pasadena, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Rose Bowl Parade officials sent an official notice to members of the elite North Korean Army’s women’s precision marching cadre that has angered North Korean strongman, Kim Sung Un. The letter gave official notice that due to recent international nuclear tensions, the participation of the 5,000 member all women North Korean […]

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HBO’s Bill Maher Declared ‘Historic Asshole’ By Preservation Group

New York, NY – (satireworld.com) On Friday’s broadcast of HBO’s “Real Time,” host Bill Maher stated that President Trump is engaging in dehumanization of the media in a manner that is comparable to Rwanda and Nazi Germany. The remarks came right on cue after similar scripted statements were broadcast by CNN, MSNBC, and by George […]

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Monday’s Solar Eclipse ‘A Kick Up The Ass’ For America’s Anal Bleaching Profession

Los Angeles, California – (SatireWorld.com) Astrologers studying Monday’s upcoming solar eclipse are bullish about the impact on West Coast anal skin lightening facilities according to an authoritative op ed.

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Alt-Left Demands Racist Mt.Rushmore Be Censored and Destroyed

Black Hills, SD – (SatireWorld.com) Federal workers announced an escalated the war by the shadowy Alternate Leftist group Antifa whose activists have demanded Civil War statues be removed and all history be re-written in a manner that soothes anyone’s hurt feelings.

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South Pole Calderas Fool Global Warming Cabal

Antarctica – (SatireWorld.com) Climate Change hot air suffered yet another blow this weekend following the publication of the Western Antarctic Research Base report about volcanic eruptions under the Ross Ice Shelf.

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In Exchange For Peace, Trump Offers Kim Jong-Un A Chance At Stardom

Peoples Democrat Republic of North Korea – (SatireWorld.com) After a late-night phone call from President Trump,American singer Marie Osmond has reportedly spent three weeks as the guest of North Korea’s strongman Kim Jong-Un.

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North Korean Leader Kim Jong-Un Sent To Bed Without His Supper

Pyongyang, North Korea – (SatireWorld.com) North Korea vowed on Thursday to launch a preemptive cyber strike against the United States. An unidentified spokesman for Pyongyang’s Foreign Ministry said the North will exercise its right for “a preemptive cyber attack to destroy the strongholds of the aggressors” because the running dogs in Washington are pushing to […]

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Pentagon Recalls Past Korean Combat Veterans To Counter North Korean Threats

The Pentagon – (SatireWorld.com) The manpower pinch coupled with the effects of the sequester is straining Army fitness and readiness standards. Two major conflicts in the last 18 years, and a renewed North Korean threat, has forced the Pentagon’s top brass to re-think ways to fill the ranks of front line defenses with highly trained […]

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Has a ‘dirty’ Brit general covered up Donald Trump’s Russian origins?

London, UK – (SatireWorld.com) A highly decorated World War III general and former UK Chief of Stuff was being quizzed at a covert location this morning following a dawn raid by officers from Operation Ratsarse.

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Swiss Bank Vault Raid Yields Hundreds Of Nazi-Looted Artworks

Basel, Switzerland – (SatireWorld.com) Swiss police have executed an international search warrant at the headquarters of First Vatican Money-Laundering Bank Of Miracles following a tip-off from the FBI.

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Aide’s Computer Adds To Debbie Wasserman-Schultz’s Tijuana Donkey Porno Fear

Miami,Fl – (satireworld.com) Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz never actually saw the computer she fought to block the Capitol Police from examining as evidence in a criminal case against her IT aide by saying it was hers, she told SatireWorld reporters Thursday.

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Putin, Oreos, Capitalism and the West

Moscow – (satireworld.com) Vladimir Putin President of the Russian Federation seems to have a hard-on for the west, particularly the USA, when it comes to establishing better international relations. Republican President Donald Trump is trying to ease tensions in his first six months in office. However, former Democratic President Obama left the new administration several […]

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Virtual Reality eSEX the Latest in Internet Technology

Silicon Valley CA – (satireworld.com) Playboy Magazine has announced that the monthly publication (with the titillating centerfolds and intellectual articles) is bringing back pictures of nude women after a short hiatus. Once again marketing managers have proven the old adage “Sex Sells” is still true.

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Joe Arpaio Is Trump Pick For Mexico Wall Warden

Fountain Hills, Arizona -(satireworld.com) The ex-Maricopa County sheriff is reported to be first in line for the $500,000 per annum position of keeping Mexicans out of the USA. At 85-years old the Fountain Hills maverick veteran lawman is also bookies’ 5/4 favorite for the controversial Trump Mexican border wall enforcement appointment due to a slew […]

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SatireWorld Editorial Corner
  • Meet The One-legged Man Who’s Actually Busier Now As A One-Legged Ass Kicker
  • Durham, NC – (satireworld.com) Morris Helms says he’s never been busier! The retired veteran, who looks a healthy 50 instead of being a few days away from turning 65, says ever since he read an ad looking for contestants in a local amateur mixed martial arts contest he’s been very busy on Saturday nights. “ […]


Turdblossom's Advice Column
  • Want Gun Control? Careful What You Wish For!
  • SatireWorld.com How’s About Some Gun Control…………. Sure, lets enact a true “Law on Firearms and Ammunition.” This law will require anyone who owns a firearm, or who wants to own a firearm in the future, to register their intentions with our Federal authorities and apply for a simple permit and a universal Firearm ID card.



POLITICS
  • Want Gun Control? Careful What You Wish For!
  • SatireWorld.com How’s About Some Gun Control…………. Sure, lets enact a true “Law on Firearms and Ammunition.” This law will require anyone who owns a firearm, or who wants to own a firearm in the future, to register their intentions with our Federal authorities and apply for a simple permit and a universal Firearm ID card.



BUSINESS
  • Want Gun Control? Careful What You Wish For!
  • SatireWorld.com How’s About Some Gun Control…………. Sure, lets enact a true “Law on Firearms and Ammunition.” This law will require anyone who owns a firearm, or who wants to own a firearm in the future, to register their intentions with our Federal authorities and apply for a simple permit and a universal Firearm ID card.



ENTERTAINMENT


MAGAZINE
  • Want Gun Control? Careful What You Wish For!
  • SatireWorld.com How’s About Some Gun Control…………. Sure, lets enact a true “Law on Firearms and Ammunition.” This law will require anyone who owns a firearm, or who wants to own a firearm in the future, to register their intentions with our Federal authorities and apply for a simple permit and a universal Firearm ID card.



SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY
  • Transgender Conversion Machine Patented
  • Washington DC – (satireworld.com) US Patent Number 93409353 was issued to Dr. Virginia Phallus for a Transgender Conversion Machine (TCM). Dr. Phallus has a Medical degree (specializing in Reproductive Systems) from Johns Hopkins University and both Electronics and Mechanical Engineering degrees from George Washington University.



SPORTS
  • Meet The One-legged Man Who’s Actually Busier Now As A One-Legged Ass Kicker
  • Durham, NC – (satireworld.com) Morris Helms says he’s never been busier! The retired veteran, who looks a healthy 50 instead of being a few days away from turning 65, says ever since he read an ad looking for contestants in a local amateur mixed martial arts contest he’s been very busy on Saturday nights. “ […]



UK NEWS


US NEWS
  • The USA Experiences a Toilet Paper Shortage?
  • Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Senator Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren (D-MA) and Senator Bernie “Democratic Socialism” Sander’s (I-VT) are lobbying Congress to pass a single payer (US government) healthcare plan. President Trump and the Republicans in Congress are against this socialized medicine scheme, estimated to cost between $32 to $36 trillion over 10 years. The plan would […]



WORLD NEWS
  • The USA Experiences a Toilet Paper Shortage?
  • Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Senator Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren (D-MA) and Senator Bernie “Democratic Socialism” Sander’s (I-VT) are lobbying Congress to pass a single payer (US government) healthcare plan. President Trump and the Republicans in Congress are against this socialized medicine scheme, estimated to cost between $32 to $36 trillion over 10 years. The plan would […]



HEADLINES OF THE DAY
  • Meet The One-legged Man Who’s Actually Busier Now As A One-Legged Ass Kicker
  • Durham, NC – (satireworld.com) Morris Helms says he’s never been busier! The retired veteran, who looks a healthy 50 instead of being a few days away from turning 65, says ever since he read an ad looking for contestants in a local amateur mixed martial arts contest he’s been very busy on Saturday nights. “ […]



LEAD STORIES
  • Blountstown Florida’s Gold Strike Adds Scores of New Millionaires
  • Blountstown, FL – (satireworld.com) The Blountstown Chamber of Commerce released a long anticipated report concerning the effects and repercussions the recent discovery of multiple gold deposits have had on the small rural Florida panhandle community. Massive nuggets and almost pure gold flakes have placed the once sleepy Florida town on the map of richest places […]