Kleenex To Release Special Facial Product For Democrats: “Pity Me Tissues”

Scotch Plains, NY – (satireworld.com) Kleenex, a division of Kimberly-Clark, has announced that they are releasing a new line of their popular facial tissues made specially for Democrats to use when crying over losing elections, seeing a robust economy, paying lower gas prices, and other events that may go against their programmed agenda.  Called “Pity […]

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Long Lost “A Christmas Carol” Remake Starring Worst Actors Ever Discovered in Storage Facility

Hollywood,CA – (satireworld.com) A 2005 potential box office fiasco/lost film has been discovered in Hollywood while cleaning out a storage room at Universal Pictures.  This movie, not released in theaters, may star the worst acting cast of all time.

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Ayatollah Upset Notre Dame Made NCAA Playoff Instead of UCF

Tooba, Iran – (satireworld.com) The Ayatollah Smella Buttholla, leading Moslem/Muslim cleric in the Middle East, is upset that the NCAA selected Notre Dame to be in the College Football Playoff instead of UCF (the University of Central Florida).  “I can understand undefeated Alabama and Clemson as they were so much better than every other team […]

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Former French President Sarkozy Once Took $50 Million From Muammer Gaddafi, Does a Possible Matching Contribution to Obama Explain Benghazi?

Food for thought: (satireworld.com) During the 2011 French Presidential Campaign, former Libyan dictator Muammer Gaddafi donated sixty million euros to the reelection fund of sitting French president Nicolas Sarkozy.  Per Libyan officials in a French 2018 investigation, the money was given in exchange for “access and favors.”   Sauf-al-Islam Gaddafi said in an interview with Euronews […]

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Must Really Suck Being A Democrat These Days

Washington, DC Take a moment and think about this…Imagine the feeling back in the late fall of 2016 with the Obama era of Hope & Change ending in a tangling tumble of fraud, dishonesty, and overall contempt for true American values. Now, with the Democrat’s world of smoke and mirrors turned inside out and upside […]

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Verifying the Gender of Santa Claus (20th Anniversary)

North Pole – (satireworld.com) In November of 1998, I received a very disturbing e-mail. It had been forwarded several times, so there was no way to point to the original author or origin. I would like to quote that e-mail in it’s entirety, and then add my own comments: He’s a She “I hate to […]

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Blotter: Police Make First Arrests of Christmas Holiday Season

The Police Department (Christmas Division) have made their first arrest of the 2018 holiday season.  For public record, the arrests are listed below:

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Barrio Santa Claus Considers Painting His Low Rider Something Other Than “Arrest Me Red”

El Paso, Texas – (satireworld.com) Barrio Santa Claus, who visits his paisanos and his hermanitos every year on Christmas Eve to deliver gifts, has announced plans to paint his low rider something than the traditional “arrest me red.  “La Migra always tries to arrest me when I cross the border because my ride just stands […]

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Democrats Organize Caravans of Inner City Asylum Seekers

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) Socialist Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT) appears to have placed part of the blame for Democrat Andrew Gillum’s (Florida Governor’s election) loss and Democrat Stacey Abrams’ (Georgia Governor’s election) loss on the fact that neither state has ever elected an African-American governor. The Vermont Senator hastily backtracked his not well-thought-out statement soon after!

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Obama Enters the Mommy’s Basement Home Furniture Business

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Republican President Donald Trump has improved the US economy and increased the number of jobs available to all US workers substantially, in the first two years of his presidency. Notably more Millennials and Gen-Xers are leaving Mommy’s Basement, as they now have jobs to pay for renting an apartment, a house […]

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Honduran Caravan Has Increased Ticket Sales To Famous Tijuana Donkey Shows Says Owner

Tijuana, Mexico – (satireworld.com) One result of having an influx of almost ten thousand visitors to a small Mexican border town is…What do you do at night after the international press corp has turned off its cameras and the lights dim low?

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Honduras Caravan Members Sue Trump Administration Because “We Weren’t Allowed to Participate in the Black Friday Sales”

Tijuana, Mexico – (satireworld.com) The Honduras Caravan members have sued the President and the Trump Administration because their being refused an illegal entry into the United States prevented them from being able to participate in the 2018 Black Friday sales.  They were also limited in buying at Small Business Saturday sales (though they could buy […]

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Happy Thanksgiving from the Satire World Staff

HAPPY THANKSGIVING Y’ALL!

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Mick Jagger Announces ‘All The Girls I’ve Slept With’ US Tour Dates

New York, NY – (satireworld.com) The Rolling Stones are bringing their ‘All The Girls Mick Slept With’ tour to U.S. stadiums in 2019. The 13-show tour will kick off April 20th at the Hard Rock Stadium in Miami Gardens, Florida and wrap up June 21st at Soldier Field in Chicago.

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California Democrat Swalwell Says “We Need to Nuke 2nd Amendment Supporters so Central American Caravan Refugees Have Somewhere to Live”

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Member of the House of Representatives Eric Swalwell of California believes that “we need to nuke the 2nd Amendment supporters and gun rights advocates so that we can use their homes for the caravan of refugees coming up through Mexico.  If we wipe out these deplorables, we can use their empty […]

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DNC Chairman Sends a Generic Concession Speech Outline to Losing Democratic Candidates

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) The current Democratic National Committee (DNC) Chairman Tom Perez has sent a generic concession speech outline to be used by all losing liberal Democratic candidates in the 2018 mid-term elections. This email formulates how a Democratic candidate can admit losing without really, ever conceding defeat!

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Global Warming Alert! Forest Fires and Cooling Vaginas Threaten Global Peace

Sacramento, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Esteemed scientist and 2008 Nobel Science Award recipient, Dr.Calvin Butterworth, issued a startling warning to people everywhere concerning disturbing events he has recorded over the past year…”Global warming and related events could threaten our species! Dr. Butterworth also raised the alarm that, in his words, “Women and their vaginas around the […]

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Democrat Stacey Abrams Gives Up Georgia Governors Race….But Doesn’t Concede

Atlanta, Georgia Democratic gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams said on Friday that her Republican opponent Brian Kemp would be officially declared the victor in the race, but she said her announcement was not a concession from her because that would acknowledge ‘ out-right election theft as being right.’

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Al Gore Discovers a New Environmental Bogeyman

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) Former Vice President Al Gore (supposed inventor of the Internet), noted predictor of dire, non-occurring, environmental calamities since 2000 spoke before the International Brassiere Manufacturers Association (IBMA) convention. He cautioned that the effect of plastics and oil based synthetic fibers used in Bra manufacturing are affecting the oceans of the world.

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In Honor of Veteran’s Day… A Serious Note from SatireWorld

Please forward this today to everyone on your e-mail list in remembrance of all who have ever worn the uniform…and gave their yesterdays that we could have our tomorrows.  This is the 100th anniversary of the Armistice that ended World War 1.  Remember that “all gave some, but some gave all.”

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Kemp pushes Abrams to concede in Georgia gubernatorial race

Atlanta, GA – (satireworld.com) Ahead by more than 6,000,000 votes days after Georgia’s gubernatorial election, Republican Brian Kemp pushed for Democrat Stacey Abrams to finally concede Saturday as civil rights groups urged her to stay in the fight even though she’s losing by more than 6 million votes.

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Neophyte Congresswoman-Elect Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Sends a Text Message

New York NY – (satireworld.com) Newly elected NYC Democratic-Socialist NITWIT Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has tried to send a Text Message to the new Democratic Speaker of the US House of Representatives, to be determined (TBD).

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Obvious Election Fraud Committed in New Mexico… by a County (a Satireworld Editorial)

What’s wrong with this picture? Yvette Harrell ran against Xochitl Torres Small for the congressional seat in Southern New Mexico. Party doesn’t matter right now because both are reprehensible (there wasn’t a lesser of two evils in this campaign). Harrell misdirected money (over half a million dollars) from the state to her business (while in […]

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Pelosi, Feinstein, and Waters Claim They Were Insulted at D.C. Restaurants Wednesday

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Feinstein, and Maxine Waters claim that they were insulted at a local Washington D.C. restaurant went they went out to lunch on Wednesday (October 31st).  Said Pelosi, “we were on a break from out duties in the House and Senate and went together to get a bite to […]

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Female Football Fan Uses Men’s Urinal During Game

Jacksonville, FL – (satireworld.com) Different genders using or misusing public restrooms, has been a topic of frequent discussion on social media. Many approve. Many not so much. However, on Sunday a female Panthers fan gave the bathroom debate a visual no one will soon forget.

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California Democrats Demand Migrant Caravan Be Allowed In By Tuesday In Order To Vote

San Diego, CA – (satireworld.com) California democrats have demanded that Donald Trump move the military and National Guard away from the borders and allow the invaders marching through Mexico to enter the country by Tuesday so that they can vote in the mid-term elections.  They have pinpointed the specific districts where they want the homeless […]

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Were’s All The Caravan Crap?

Speaking of that Honduran caravan. Here’s a question for you. It’s about that caravan heading thousands of miles t o storm our Southern border. I’ll make it simple…. Where do they dump? The Hondurans in the caravan, the 7,000 people walking north to America, where do they go to the bathroom? How do they eat […]

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Ayatollah Demands United States Celebrate and Honor Muslim Holiday

Tehran,Iran – The Ayatollah Smella Buttholla has demanded that the United States being celebrating a Moslem/Muslim holiday.  “You are supposed to recognize the separation of church and state, but you celebrate Christmas and Easter and note Hanukkah and Kwanzaa (which was made up by a bunch of racists twenty years ago).  Why shouldn’t your country […]

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NAACP v NAACP Case Reaches the US Supreme Court

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) v the National Association of Advanced Computer Programmers (NAACP) has finally been placed on the US Supreme Court Docket. Oral arguments are to be heard during the CY 2018-2019 session on January 3, 2019.

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SatireWorld Editorial Corner
  • Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Maxine Waters Say Christmas is a Racist Holiday
  • New York, NY – (satireworld.com) Three famous black leaders, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Maxine Waters, have united together to refer to Christmas as a racist holiday.  In a joint statement released in Washington D.C., the three stated that “we call upon all people of color to boycott this white supremacy.  Do not go shopping […]


Turdblossom's Advice Column


POLITICS
  • Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Maxine Waters Say Christmas is a Racist Holiday
  • New York, NY – (satireworld.com) Three famous black leaders, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Maxine Waters, have united together to refer to Christmas as a racist holiday.  In a joint statement released in Washington D.C., the three stated that “we call upon all people of color to boycott this white supremacy.  Do not go shopping […]



BUSINESS
  • Kleenex To Release Special Facial Product For Democrats: “Pity Me Tissues”
  • Scotch Plains, NY – (satireworld.com) Kleenex, a division of Kimberly-Clark, has announced that they are releasing a new line of their popular facial tissues made specially for Democrats to use when crying over losing elections, seeing a robust economy, paying lower gas prices, and other events that may go against their programmed agenda.  Called “Pity […]



ENTERTAINMENT
  • Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Maxine Waters Say Christmas is a Racist Holiday
  • New York, NY – (satireworld.com) Three famous black leaders, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Maxine Waters, have united together to refer to Christmas as a racist holiday.  In a joint statement released in Washington D.C., the three stated that “we call upon all people of color to boycott this white supremacy.  Do not go shopping […]



MAGAZINE
  • Must Really Suck Being A Democrat These Days
  • Washington, DC Take a moment and think about this…Imagine the feeling back in the late fall of 2016 with the Obama era of Hope & Change ending in a tangling tumble of fraud, dishonesty, and overall contempt for true American values. Now, with the Democrat’s world of smoke and mirrors turned inside out and upside […]



SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY
  • Global Warming Alert! Forest Fires and Cooling Vaginas Threaten Global Peace
  • Sacramento, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Esteemed scientist and 2008 Nobel Science Award recipient, Dr.Calvin Butterworth, issued a startling warning to people everywhere concerning disturbing events he has recorded over the past year…”Global warming and related events could threaten our species! Dr. Butterworth also raised the alarm that, in his words, “Women and their vaginas around the […]



SPORTS
  • Ayatollah Upset Notre Dame Made NCAA Playoff Instead of UCF
  • Tooba, Iran – (satireworld.com) The Ayatollah Smella Buttholla, leading Moslem/Muslim cleric in the Middle East, is upset that the NCAA selected Notre Dame to be in the College Football Playoff instead of UCF (the University of Central Florida).  “I can understand undefeated Alabama and Clemson as they were so much better than every other team […]



UK NEWS
  • Ayatollah Removed From Manchester Petting Zoo on England State Visit
  • Manchester, UK – (satireworld.com) The Ayatollah Smella Buttholla, in England on a state visit to speak to Moslem/Muslim immigrants and to secure preferential treatment for his people, was removed by police from a Manchester petting zoo today.  The Iranian religious leader was, according to upset parents and crying children, “doing nasty things with the sheep […]



US NEWS
  • Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Maxine Waters Say Christmas is a Racist Holiday
  • New York, NY – (satireworld.com) Three famous black leaders, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Maxine Waters, have united together to refer to Christmas as a racist holiday.  In a joint statement released in Washington D.C., the three stated that “we call upon all people of color to boycott this white supremacy.  Do not go shopping […]



WORLD NEWS
  • Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Maxine Waters Say Christmas is a Racist Holiday
  • New York, NY – (satireworld.com) Three famous black leaders, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Maxine Waters, have united together to refer to Christmas as a racist holiday.  In a joint statement released in Washington D.C., the three stated that “we call upon all people of color to boycott this white supremacy.  Do not go shopping […]



HEADLINES OF THE DAY
  • Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Maxine Waters Say Christmas is a Racist Holiday
  • New York, NY – (satireworld.com) Three famous black leaders, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Maxine Waters, have united together to refer to Christmas as a racist holiday.  In a joint statement released in Washington D.C., the three stated that “we call upon all people of color to boycott this white supremacy.  Do not go shopping […]



LEAD STORIES
  • Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Maxine Waters Say Christmas is a Racist Holiday
  • New York, NY – (satireworld.com) Three famous black leaders, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Maxine Waters, have united together to refer to Christmas as a racist holiday.  In a joint statement released in Washington D.C., the three stated that “we call upon all people of color to boycott this white supremacy.  Do not go shopping […]