Archive for January, 2011

Mubarak: I Want My Mummy! Clinton Shows ‘Tough Love’ Flies Off to Haiti Vacation!

Cairo, Egypt-(satireworld.com) In a last ditch effort to save his Presidency, Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak reached out to the US promising to appoint Hillary Clinton to head up his new government, monitor the redistribution of wealth to the unemployed population, and provide new prayer rugs on a liberal trade in allowance scheme featuring ‘cash back.’

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Dallas Cowboy’s Owner Jerry Jones Upset There Won’t Be All-Star Cheerleader Squad At NFL Pro Bowl

Dallas, Texas (Satireworld.com) – Jerry Jones spent billions of dollars to build a new stadium for the Dallas Cowboys that is the crown jewel of the sporting world. It seats the largest number of people, has the biggest jumbo-tron screens, and dwarfs every other facility in the country. His arena plays host this year to […]

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Jersey Shore’s Snooki Grows A Full Beard After Eating A Taco Bell Taco

Seaside Heights, NJ-(satireworld.com) Jersey Shore cast member and regular face on myriads of tabloids, Snooki Polizzi, has checked into a famed dematology clinic after sprouting a massive moustache and beard that threatened her acting career and caused her boyfriend to vomit after eating a similar meal.

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Adolph Hitler’s Grandson Milton Hitler Buys His First Military Tank

Hamburg,Germany-(satireworld.com) The recently revealed 'secret' grandson of notorious Nazi, Adolph Hitler, has raised a few eyebrows with the purchase of his first military tank. The decomissioned German Army Leopard 2A6 tank is complete with communications equipment and working guns. It was purchased in September of this year.

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Nelson Family Survivors Reveal “Ozzie and Harriet” Was First Television Reality Show

Hollywood,CA-(satireworld.com) David Nelson, the last surviving family member from the long running “The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet,” died in January. His family has now revealed that the show was not scripted at all, regardless of writing credits, and was truly the first “reality show” on television.

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Experts Reveal Egyptians Rioting Due To Shortage of Snuggies

Nursing student Benezir Ali Gupta’s knock-off cellophane Snuggie caused a stir on Cairo streets just before the crowds stoned her to death. Cairo, Egypt-(satireworld.com) Expert analysts within the United Nations and the State Department have revealed that the recent unrest in Egypt and other parts of the Middle East is due to a massive shortage […]

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Dr. Niles Crane Admits Dr. Sheldon Cooper Of The Big Bang Theory Is His Love Child

According to doctor Crane, his son is really lucky. That party Crane attended was so wild his son is lucky he doesn't bark.

Seattle, Washington (Satire World): Dr. Niles Crane has admitted that Dr. Sheldon Cooper of “The Big Bang Theory” is the love child that he fathered while competing in the National Spelling Bee. Crane made the admission after multiple people noticed that both are highly anal retentive, persnickity, obsessive-compulsive, fastideous, and just a regular pain in […]

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Guantanamo Bay Prison Camp Closing-Inmates Being Moved To American Idol Audience To Boost Ratings

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba – (satireworld.com) Government officials have readied the American Idol TV set and theater in anticipation of new arrivals from the US prison at Guantanamo Bay. At least 106 of the most hardened terror suspects and terror war participants are being moved to the theater to comply with Geneva Convention mandates concerning 'humane […]

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After Obama’s State Of The Union Speech National Bull Crap-O-Meter Hits Historic Highs.

Washington, DC-(satireworld.com) In America, the President of the United States is required to give an annual report to both Houses of Congress and the American people. Tuesday night's televised State of the Union Speech featuring the Annoited One, Barack Hussein Obama, dragged on for an endless amount of time and all that was really said […]

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Presidential Candidate Offers Opinion On State Of The Union Address

Louisville, KY-(satireworld.com) A Democrat who is challenging Barack Obama for his party’s 2012 nomination for President of United States has offered his opinion on the President’s recent State of the Union Speech. In addition, Cletus Goshdarnit of Tick Holler, Kentucky offered advice and commentary on several other issues.

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A Progressive Thanksgiving Circa 2025

Thanksgiving 2025 (satireworld.com) Smallville, MA “Winston!!!! Come into the dining room, it’s time to eat,” Julia yelled to her husband. “In a minute, honey, it’s a tie score,” he answered. Actually Winston wasn’t very interested in the traditional holiday football game between Detroit and Washington. Ever since the government passed the Civility in Sports Statute […]

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Elton John: ‘Losing All That New Baby Weight Will Be Hard’

London, UK-(satireworld.com) In a very public announcement, singer Elton John vowed to lose all that baby weight just as soon as he can. Elton John age 65, recently became a ‘mother,’ (and a father as well), along with shocking the normal world with the news, has put on quite a few pounds in the last […]

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State of the Union: 1 Dimensional Obama Appears as 3D Hologram Thanks to NBC!

NBC Studios, NYC-(satireworld.com) For the first time in American History the appearance of the President of the United States before a joint session of Congress will not be as it seems as it was announced Obama will be appearing in the form of a Hologram!

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Rahm: Dead Men Voting Will Carry Me to Mayor’s Office!

Chicago, IL-(satireworld,com) An unrepentant Rahm Emanuel, seemingly denied his rightful ascension to the Chicago mayoral throne, claims that his write in candidacy will trump any legal proclamations to the contrary saying, “The will of the people, both dead and alive will prevail on election day!” Emanuel’s quest to be crowned as Chicago Mayor was apparently […]

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Rahm Emanuel ‘Goes to the Mattresses’ In New Chicago Underworld Election War!

Chicago, IL-(satireworld.com) Rahm Emanuel’s Chicago Family has reportedly ‘gone to the mattresses’ after two of three appellate court judges ruled his mayoral bid is bogus due to residency requirements! Emanuel, former Chicago Underboss and US senator, who went on to Washington with Capo di tutti Capi, Barry “Chingedera” Obama to become his consigliere, came back […]

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Kentucky Presidential Hopefull Announces His Economic Recovery Plan

Louisville, KY-(satireworld.com) Kentucky Presidential hopeful, Cletus Goshdarnit, has announced what his first piece of legislation will look like as President in 2013. As Cletus outlined his plan, he expressed hopes of curbing the spiraling US debt. Goshdarnit promises he will place the bill before the Senate Leader the day he takes office in January 2013.

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The ‘World’s Most Interesting Man’

Coast of Portugal – (satireworld.com) Fernando Monte Verde retired a number of years ago from a successful business career and at that time would have never believed he would one day be the envy of every male on the planet! But today Fernando certainly is that man.

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Kentucky Man Announces He Will Run On Democratic Ticket For 2012 Presidential Nomination

Louisville, KY-(satireworld.com) A man from Kentucky has officially announced that he will seek the nomination of the Democratic Party for President in the 2012 Presidential Race. Cletus Goshdarnit of Tick Holler, Kentucky became an official candidate today by filing with his state party headquarters and named his brother, Enos Goshdarnit, as his campaign manager.

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Springfield Man Dating Gym Punching Bag

Springfield, IL-(satireworld.com) Deano West was lonely. His last wife left him. His girlfriend threw him over for a younger, more successful man. His dog committed suicide by drinking gasoline. Even his cat ran away with a rat it found under the house.

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Ex-nazi on trial for 29,999 murders has regrets. Just one more and he would’ve gotten a free SS waffle iron!

Selvoka, Poland-(satireworld.com) Former Ukrainian concentration camp guard John Demjanjuk’s trial began today for the murders committed when he served as a Nazi camp guard in German occupied Russia. Earning the title ‘Ivan the Terrible’ for his frequent use of torture, indiscriminate terror killings, and lousy knock-knock jokes, Demjanjuk evaded capture for nearly 65 years until […]

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Even Wife’s Cell Phone Number Written On Men’s Room Wall Doesn’t Deter ‘The Word’s Happiest Man!’

' Brighton, MA-(satireworld.com) Happy' Ed Gleeson is without a doubt the 'Happiest Man in the World!' He's earned this distinctive title by never frowning, never being angry, and always having an upbeat and positive attitude. Some say Happy Ed was born that way and related a story about when Ed was ten years old a […]

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New cloning process allows Santa to bring a lingerie model to every teenage boy this Christmas

North Pole – (satireworld.com) After promising a 'stocking-stuffer like no other…And actually in a real pair of stockings,' Santa Claus announced today the new cloning process will allow him to fulfill every male teenagers sexual dream for next Christmas too.

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New theory suggests aliens visit Earth just to hear our jokes!

Polomar Observatory-(satireworld.com) Harold Flunce has writen over 23 books on UFO's and the paranormal and recently completed an exhaustive study on Earth-humor and why we laugh at jokes, stories, spoofs, and cartoons. "It seems laughing makes us inhale more oxygen and therefore our brains get stimulated!" Flunce cautioned that 'we are not alone' and other […]

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Obama’s Weight Loss Attributed to Intestinal Parasites “Eating Him Up!”

The White House-(satireworld.com) Obama watchers have grown increasingly concerned as the 50 year old President appears to be wasting away before their eyes ever since his recent Hawaii get away and his binge eating away from the Secret Food Police hired by Moochelle to strictly enforce her draconian diet mandates!

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Olbermann Fired at MSNBC Over False Paternity Claims & Fraudulent Maternity Leave!

CNBC Studios-(satireworld.com) There was shock and awe in the dwindling ranks of Keith Olbermann fans as he was unceremoniously dumped by CNBC when it turned out he had lied about his pregnancy, and further fleeced the network by taking Maternity Leave at full Pay! Commenting on the shocking news, Dr.Phil, while appearing on Oprah, said […]

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Conjoined Twins Say They’ve Hated Each Other For Over 42 Years

Topeka, KS – (satireworld.com) Conjoined twins Mary and Ethel Burke are still fighting and have been for over 42 years. The riff started so long ago, no one really remembers what caused it or who was to blame. All friends and family know is this….

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EU Human Rights Edicts Drives Local Brit to Brink of Drink!

Manchester, England. (satireworld.com) A man, a quite ordinary man, a natural born citizen of Britain, and a hard working man indeed by all accounts, was finally driven to drink today after a run in with the National Tourist Board that threatened him with an ASBO and incarceration after an horrific incident on his home pitch. […]

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House Really Really Falls On California Witch

US House-(satireworld.com) Right out of a movie would be the best way to describe the recent events that happened to Speaker of the House and part-time witch, Nancy Pelosi. On Tuesday, November 2nd the ‘House’ hit her squarely on the head. Found staggering and cross-eyed, the once-upon-a-time Congressional leader complained that the House she loved […]

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Booger Flinging Recognized As Olympic Sport In Time For The 2012 Olympics

Helsinki, Finland -(satirewrld.com) The relatively new international sport of Booger Flinging was recognized by the IOC today and will be included in the London 2012 Olympics as a fully international sport open to competition by IOC recognized professional teams. Booger Flinging will be highlighted as an up and coming sport according to officials with its […]

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Zac Efron To Star In Very Unusual 3-D TV Reality Show

Hollywood City, CA-(satireworld.com) Yes, all you acne sufferers can finally rejoice. A TV show is about to debut that has you in the headlines. The signing of actor Zac Efron to a new reality TV series was announced today in which he will host a weekly show. Popular TV show host Russell Brand, the shows […]

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