Archive for January, 2011
Mubarak: I Want My Mummy! Clinton Shows ‘Tough Love’ Flies Off to Haiti Vacation!
Cairo, Egypt-(satireworld.com) In a last ditch effort to save his Presidency, Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak reached out to the US promising to appoint Hillary Clinton to head up his new government, monitor the redistribution of wealth to the unemployed population, and provide new prayer rugs on a liberal trade in allowance scheme featuring ‘cash back.’
Full StoryDallas Cowboy’s Owner Jerry Jones Upset There Won’t Be All-Star Cheerleader Squad At NFL Pro Bowl
Dallas, Texas (Satireworld.com) – Jerry Jones spent billions of dollars to build a new stadium for the Dallas Cowboys that is the crown jewel of the sporting world. It seats the largest number of people, has the biggest jumbo-tron screens, and dwarfs every other facility in the country. His arena plays host this year to [...]
Full StoryJersey Shore’s Snooki Grows A Full Beard After Eating A Taco Bell Taco
Seaside Heights, NJ-(satireworld.com) Jersey Shore cast member and regular face on myriads of tabloids, Snooki Polizzi, has checked into a famed dematology clinic after sprouting a massive moustache and beard that threatened her acting career and caused her boyfriend to vomit after eating a similar meal.
Full StoryAdolph Hitler’s Grandson Milton Hitler Buys His First Military Tank
Hamburg,Germany-(satireworld.com) The recently revealed 'secret' grandson of notorious Nazi, Adolph Hitler, has raised a few eyebrows with the purchase of his first military tank. The decomissioned German Army Leopard 2A6 tank is complete with communications equipment and working guns. It was purchased in September of this year.
Full StoryNelson Family Survivors Reveal “Ozzie and Harriet” Was First Television Reality Show
Hollywood,CA-(satireworld.com) David Nelson, the last surviving family member from the long running “The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet,” died in January. His family has now revealed that the show was not scripted at all, regardless of writing credits, and was truly the first “reality show” on television.
Full StoryExperts Reveal Egyptians Rioting Due To Shortage of Snuggies
Nursing student Benezir Ali Gupta’s knock-off cellophane Snuggie caused a stir on Cairo streets just before the crowds stoned her to death. Cairo, Egypt-(satireworld.com) Expert analysts within the United Nations and the State Department have revealed that the recent unrest in Egypt and other parts of the Middle East is due to a massive shortage [...]
Full StoryDr. Niles Crane Admits Dr. Sheldon Cooper Of The Big Bang Theory Is His Love Child
Seattle, Washington (Satire World): Dr. Niles Crane has admitted that Dr. Sheldon Cooper of “The Big Bang Theory” is the love child that he fathered while competing in the National Spelling Bee. Crane made the admission after multiple people noticed that both are highly anal retentive, persnickity, obsessive-compulsive, fastideous, and just a regular pain in [...]
Full StoryGuantanamo Bay Prison Camp Closing-Inmates Being Moved To American Idol Audience To Boost Ratings
Guantanamo Bay, Cuba – (satireworld.com) Government officials have readied the American Idol TV set and theater in anticipation of new arrivals from the US prison at Guantanamo Bay. At least 106 of the most hardened terror suspects and terror war participants are being moved to the theater to comply with Geneva Convention mandates concerning 'humane [...]
Full StoryAfter Obama’s State Of The Union Speech National Bull Crap-O-Meter Hits Historic Highs.
Washington, DC-(satireworld.com) In America, the President of the United States is required to give an annual report to both Houses of Congress and the American people. Tuesday night's televised State of the Union Speech featuring the Annoited One, Barack Hussein Obama, dragged on for an endless amount of time and all that was really said [...]
Full StoryPresidential Candidate Offers Opinion On State Of The Union Address
Louisville, KY-(satireworld.com) A Democrat who is challenging Barack Obama for his party’s 2012 nomination for President of United States has offered his opinion on the President’s recent State of the Union Speech. In addition, Cletus Goshdarnit of Tick Holler, Kentucky offered advice and commentary on several other issues.
Full StoryA Progressive Thanksgiving Circa 2025
Thanksgiving 2025 (satireworld.com) Smallville, MA “Winston!!!! Come into the dining room, it’s time to eat,” Julia yelled to her husband. “In a minute, honey, it’s a tie score,” he answered. Actually Winston wasn’t very interested in the traditional holiday football game between Detroit and Washington. Ever since the government passed the Civility in Sports Statute [...]
Full StoryElton John: ‘Losing All That New Baby Weight Will Be Hard’
London, UK-(satireworld.com) In a very public announcement, singer Elton John vowed to lose all that baby weight just as soon as he can. Elton John age 65, recently became a ‘mother,’ (and a father as well), along with shocking the normal world with the news, has put on quite a few pounds in the last [...]
Full StoryState of the Union: 1 Dimensional Obama Appears as 3D Hologram Thanks to NBC!
NBC Studios, NYC-(satireworld.com) For the first time in American History the appearance of the President of the United States before a joint session of Congress will not be as it seems as it was announced Obama will be appearing in the form of a Hologram!
Full StoryRahm: Dead Men Voting Will Carry Me to Mayor’s Office!
Chicago, IL-(satireworld,com) An unrepentant Rahm Emanuel, seemingly denied his rightful ascension to the Chicago mayoral throne, claims that his write in candidacy will trump any legal proclamations to the contrary saying, “The will of the people, both dead and alive will prevail on election day!” Emanuel’s quest to be crowned as Chicago Mayor was apparently [...]
Full StoryRahm Emanuel ‘Goes to the Mattresses’ In New Chicago Underworld Election War!
Chicago, IL-(satireworld.com) Rahm Emanuel’s Chicago Family has reportedly ‘gone to the mattresses’ after two of three appellate court judges ruled his mayoral bid is bogus due to residency requirements! Emanuel, former Chicago Underboss and US senator, who went on to Washington with Capo di tutti Capi, Barry “Chingedera” Obama to become his consigliere, came back [...]
Full StoryKentucky Presidential Hopefull Announces His Economic Recovery Plan
Louisville, KY-(satireworld.com) Kentucky Presidential hopeful, Cletus Goshdarnit, has announced what his first piece of legislation will look like as President in 2013. As Cletus outlined his plan, he expressed hopes of curbing the spiraling US debt. Goshdarnit promises he will place the bill before the Senate Leader the day he takes office in January 2013.
Full StoryThe ‘World’s Most Interesting Man’
Coast of Portugal – (satireworld.com) Fernando Monte Verde retired a number of years ago from a successful business career and at that time would have never believed he would one day be the envy of every male on the planet! But today Fernando certainly is that man.
Full StoryKentucky Man Announces He Will Run On Democratic Ticket For 2012 Presidential Nomination
Louisville, KY-(satireworld.com) A man from Kentucky has officially announced that he will seek the nomination of the Democratic Party for President in the 2012 Presidential Race. Cletus Goshdarnit of Tick Holler, Kentucky became an official candidate today by filing with his state party headquarters and named his brother, Enos Goshdarnit, as his campaign manager.
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