Archive for April, 2011

Elton John Upset He Wasn’t Biggest Queen At Royal Wedding

Westminster Kennel Show….opps Royal Wedding! (SatireWorld.com) Singer Elton John was upset at the Royal Wedding to see that he wasn’t “the biggest Queen” in attendance. He felt that his presence was upstaged by that of Queen Elizabeth II at the marriage of her grandson, Prince William, to Kate Middleton.

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Ex-Boyfriend Claims Pippa Middleton Looks Terrible Naked

London, England – (SatireWorld.com) After the wedding fame of a gorgeous young woman attending an equally gorgeous sister up the isle at the Royal Wedding, sources say it’s not as it appears. It seems soccer player and ex-boyfriend Liam Smithe-Charles dropped his soccer ball long enough to tell team mates that his ex-girlfriend Pippa Middleton […]

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After Queen Elizabeth Naps During Royal Wedding, Joe Biden Says “I Feel Your Pain”

Buckingham Palace, London – (SatireWorld.com) Queen Elizabeth II was shown on television sets around the world taking a short nap during the royal wedding of her grandson Prince William to Kate Middleton. While this may be explained away due to advancing age and a really boring ceremony, it was still a faux pas by the […]

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Secret Service Uncovers Supposed ‘Tea Party Plot’ To Kidnap Barack Obama

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) A spokesman for the US Secret Service unveiled a plot, supposedly by Tea Party activists, to kidnap President Barack Obama by using a trap-like device. According to the spokesman, the Tea Party was going to keep the president hidden away until after the 2016 elections. The agent refused to release additional […]

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Queen Bans Antenna Hats From Future Royal Functions

Buckingham Palace – (SatireWorld.com) Queen Elizabeth announced to her family and staff that in the future all hats worn to official functions will be closely examined and subject to rejection and dismissal. The edict came on the heels of media scrutiny and outrage over the ‘headress’ Princess Beatrice wore to the royal wedding held at […]

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Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Denies The Holocaust Claiming It Was Faked

Tehran, Iran – (SatireWorld.com) In an interview for B-S Magazine, Iran’s president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said he is proud to stoke international outrage with his past remarks denying the Holocaust as he headed for the royal wedding in London this week.

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Panicking Muslim Pilgrims Circling The Kaaba Turn Into Butter

Mecca, Saudi Arabia – (SatireWorld.com) Thousands of Muslim pilgrims who circle the sacred Kaaba in the Grand Mosque in Mecca do so because it is considered the holiest site of Islam. Millions wait a lifetime for a chance to participate in the religious experience by visiting the Kaaba, which is the religious center for muslims […]

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Critics Unsatisfied With Obama’s Birth Certificate Revelation Now Demand Shot Records

” The White House – (SatireWorld.com) Birthers” and other critics of U.S. President Barack Obama are upset that his birth certificate revelation this week has shut down their arguements and conspiracy theories. Undaunted, the group is seeking other avenues to remove “this country’s worst President since Dubya” from office. Their latest tactic is demanding his […]

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Prince Upset To Learn On Wedding Night That Kate Isn’t A Virgin

Oasis Bar at the Sheraton Hotel, London (SatireWorld.com) Prince William was unhappy to learn on his wedding night that his bride, Kate Middleton, was not a virgin. From the lobby pub of a local hotel, he complained vocally to other drinkers about his wedding night blues.

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Doctors Attempt To Cure Surgically Remove Serious Inflection From President

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Barack Obama was rushed by ambulance to Walter Reed Medical Center this morning with what has been described as “a serious inflection of the throat.” Medical doctors from Johns Hopkins and the Mayo Clinic have all been called in for a consultation to help cure this possibly fatal inflection.

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Prince Harry’s Date Asked To Leave Wedding Because Of Her Hat

Westminster Abbey, London – (SatireWorld.com) It might have been a good day for the bride and groom at London’s Westminster Abbey, but for the groom’s brother it was a millinery malfunction.

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Prince William and Wife Kate Disappointed Over Condominium Wedding Gift

Hog Jaw, Arkansas – (SatireWorld.com) When the long black Cadillac limousine pulled into the Lucinda’s-Rest-A-While Luncheonette parking lot, many of Hog Jaw’s regular patrons thought that possibly the governor might be stopping by. When British Prince William’s wife Kate stepped out wearing designer fashion jeans, Italian sunglasses, and an exquisite designer hat, many thought that […]

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Bumbling Limey Reporter Harold Worth Shows Off His Unusual Collection Of Urinals

Portsmouth, England-(SatireWorld.com) There are collectors and there are real collectors. Some people are content to save stamps or coins. Others express their happiness with vintage record albums, or memorabilia. Among collectors of the unusual, bumbling limey reporter Harold Worth stands out far from the crowd.

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TV’s ‘Dog Whisperer’ Cesar Millan Announces Pending Divorce. Wife Of 16 Years Cites ‘Too Much Doggie-Style’

Los Angeles, CA-(SatireWorld.com) The dog trainer to the stars has hit a bumpy road in the last few weeks with the announcement of an impending divorce. The Dog Whisperer, better known as Cesar Millan, has headed for the preverbial doghouse as his wife of 16 years threw him out of his home along with 74 […]

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Afghanistan’s First Gay Pride Parade Reportedly Bombs

Kabul, Afghanistan-(SatireWorld.com) A gay activist group from San Francisco’s Mission Disctrict organized a recent ‘Kiss-in’ and ‘Gay Pride Parade in downtown Kabul to protest the repeated efforts by the Taliban to ban homosexuality. Over 7,503 brave, gay activists boarded buses, jeeps, and trucks and drove the 350 miles from the Pakistan town of Ceanzi to […]

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Limey Reporter Missing; Doesn’t Even Leave ‘one little thing behind’ According to Heartbroken Hooker!

San Francisco, CA-(SatireWorld.com) A heart broken Therapist with a PhD, who makes her living off personal ads on social networking sites, announced a reward today for information concerning bumbling Limey Reporter Harold Worth, gone missing in recent days. “He sure wasn’t much, ‘ said Therapeutic Massage Professional Hilda “Handi” Hilldegard,” but the little bugger sought […]

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The Obama Administration Orders Scientists To Develop Technology So Citizens Can See The World In 3-D

Washington, DC-(SatireWorld.com) Faced with an a public clamor for more 3-D products, researchers at federal facilities have been pressed hard to deliver three dimensional products. That is, until today when the White House ordered government scientists to go ahead and develop the necessary technology that will allow everyone to see everday things in 3-D.

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Prince William Claims He’s Not Wedding-Night Nervous At All! Especially after discovering Kate’s Tattooed User Instructions

London, England-(SatireWorld.com) With wedding bells just a few days away, one would expect the future King of England to be a bit nervous over the prospects of marriage and media scrutiny over the intimate details of their wedding night. According to close friends, it’s simply ‘not so.’ It seems Prince William confided to his closest […]

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Obama Says: “I Want All Your Money In 2012”

Washington, DC-(SatireWorld.com) Stinging from a series of personal rebukes, like not being invited to the wedding of the century, and mentally swollen from the lingering effects of a complete domestic healthcare and economic failure. The worst president in the USA’s history is looking to keep his job for four more years. Of course, that takes […]

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Rare 1923 Photo Reveals Origin Of How Easter Eggs Are Really Made

Smithsonian Institute-(SatireWorld.com) A previously unpublished photo from the Smithsonian’s archives sheds light on a subject once thought of as purely myth. The photo explains the origin of the Easter Egg, and the annual rite of springtime’s re-birth that Americans celebrate today.

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KFC To Be Built Next To Prestigious Washington DC Address

Washington, DC-(SatireWorld.com) The Kentucky Fried Chicken corporation (KFC) announced that it has purchased the vacant lot at 1601 Pennsylavania Avnue in Washington, DC right next door to the White House.The company plans to build at 600 seat restaurant in time for a January, 2012 opening date.

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Somalian Pirates Claim Hijacked Ship’s Booty Gives Them A Few Laughs

Somalia Coast-(SatireWorld.com) Somali pirates find many odd and endearing items when they rummage through a hijacked vessel’s cargo and treasures after pirating it and steering it to a pirate port. Some even give them a few laughs too.

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International Audience Comments On England’s Royal Wedding

Julip, Texas-(SatireWorld.com) People all over the globe are aware of the Royal Wedding taking place this week in England. Whether they live in countries that were once part of the British Empire (the U.S.A. or India) or places that never were (Japan or Peru), everyone seems to be aware of the biggest and most opulent […]

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Dairy Announces “Milk Of Human Kindness” Will Come In Flavors

Sweetwater, Wisconsin-(SatireWorld.com) Borden’s Dairy has announced that they will soon be distributing “The Milk of Human Kindness” in flavors such as chocolate and strawberry. They also said that the product will be available as whole, skim, 2 %, and fat free (just like all other milk products). The new drinks are expected to be into […]

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Royal Wedding Photographers Prepare For Nip Slips, Wardrobe Malfunctions

London, England-(SatireWorld.com) Photographers at the Royal Wedding will be prepared for all things: bad weather, poor lighting, distance shots, etc. They are also, however, preparing for events not generally anticipated, like nip slips and wardrobe malfunctions. Coveted press positions above and at the right angle to the bride (Kate Middleton) during the ceremony have been […]

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Elizabeth II Confused By “Queen Victoria’s Secret” Gift Cards For Royal Wedding

Buckingham Palace-(SatireWorld.com) Queen Elizabeth II, the grandmother of Prince William, has announced that she is confused by the large number of “Queen Victoria’s Secret” gift cards that have been flowing into Buckingham Palace. The cards are wedding presents for William and his bride, Kate Middleton, who will be married April 29th.

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Prince Charles Claims “Jus Primae Noctis” (Right of First Night) With Kate Middleton

Buckingham Palace-(SatireWorld.com) Prince Charles, father of Prince William, has claimed the right of “Jus Primae Noctis” (right of first night) with Kate Middleton on his son’s upcoming marriage to the English woman. The right, also called “droit du seigneur” (the lord’s right) allows the highest ranking member of the royal family present to be the […]

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Mexican President Calderon Gives William and Kate Trip To Mexico, Tickets To Donkey Show

Mexico City, Mexico-(SatireWorld.com) President Felipe Calderon of Mexico has announced that his country will give Prince William and his bride (Kate Middleton) the present of an all expense paid trip to visit and tour his country. Stops on the visit will include sightseeing at the Teotihuacan ruins, touring the museums and historic sights of Mexico […]

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Bumbling Limey Reporter Attends Wrong Royal Wedding!

Westchester, Arkansas-(SatireWorld.com) It was bound to happen when Satire World dispatched reporter Harold Worth to exclusively cover the Royal Wedding. Worth, who’s known as a professional bumbler in most literary cirtcles, had Googled the name ‘Royal Wedding’ and soon found himself boarding an Ozark Airlines flight to Westchester Arkansas in hopes of making the Royal […]

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Charges Against Jesse Jackson Brings Him to His Knees….OOOPS!

Chicago, IL-(SatireWorld.com) Jesse Jackson, ‘spiritual leader’ to at least two Presidential Demagogues, Clinton and Obama, one a serial womanizer, the other a habitual liar, has been brought to his knees over allegations concerning ‘crimes against nature!”

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