Archive for May, 2011

Wasserman Shultz Meets with Obama to Discuss Dem’s Weiner Problem!

Miami, Florida – (SatireWorld.com) Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (DWS), saying “I’m not a Jewish Princess, I do my own hair” fended off renewed criticism of her leadership style as new chair of the Democratic National Committee, (DNC) after President Obama summoned her to discuss the embarrassing disclosures in the escalating ‘Weinergate’ scandal swirling around NY Congressman Anthony […]

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Another Day In Congress you say? Nope, Just Another Wiener In Hot Water

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Well, it looks like summer is off to a running start with the season’s first brewing sex scandal amongst the ‘better than thou set’ in Washington. Newlywed Rep. Anthony Wiener (D-NY) has been caught, well, padding the evidence so to say, after revelations emerged this week that he sent photos […]

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Dog the Bounty Hunter Catches Wife Beth’s Bra Thief

Denver, CO – (SatireWorld.com) Duane 'Dog' Chapman has captured yet another fugitive. This time it the suspect hits pretty close to home for the famous bounty hunter.

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Rising Gold Prices Cause Miners To Seek New Sources

Fool’s Mountain, Nevada – (SatireWorld.com) The financial world is going gold crazy once again especially after gold prices have risen by 90% in the past few years, and the gold demand seems unlikely to abate anytime soon.

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Franklin Mint Says Pippa Middleton Butt Plate Is Best Selling In Their Kate Middleton Collection

London, England – (SatireWorld.com) The Franklin Mint recently released a series of commemmorative plates on the recent Royal Wedding, entitled the Kate Middleton Collection. Despite pictures of Kate in her wedding dress and the Royal Couple together, the top selling plate in the series is the one with Pippa Middleton’s ass while wearing her white […]

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Brad Says: “Angelina Has Lost All Her Juice!”

Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Tabloids have been harking the demise of the Pitt-Jolie relationship for months, but a sudden turn of events has added a dash of credibility to the rumors.

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Disney Actress Selena Gomez To Become A Nun. Justin Beiber In Tears.

Bonkersville, Arizona – (SatireWorld.com) Actress Selena Gomez is set to enter Our Lady of Perpetual Tears Convent after a weekend of partying with naked friends in a swanky hotel room.

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Used Jockstrap Sells For Record $350,000

San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com) At a recent international auction house, a man’s sweaty jockstrap sold for a reported $350,000. No ordinary physical supporter, this particularly innocuous looking jockstrap was the property of Bargis Tryhol, the Man With The World’s Largest Penis, and now he’s equally famous as a US Presidential contender for the 2012 […]

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Famous ‘Benny The Basket’ Finally Finds Real Success Outside Of Rural Texas

Denton, Texas – (SatireWorld.com) Bennie had heard most of them a thousand times before. Jokes that somehow had grow stale with jokesters retelling them over and over to equally stale listeners, but the jokes never lost their barb and they easily penetrated Bennie the Basket’s thin skin. They usually start out with a question like…’What […]

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White House Laundress Admits “First Fart” Was A Wet One

White House Dirty Laundry Room (SatireWorld.com) A White House staffer in the laundry admitted to investigarors looking into the Presidential “First Fart” that Obama’s flatulence episode was “a juicy one.” On Thursday night, at a campaign fund-raising speech in Dover, Delaware, Barack Obama read a command on his teleprompter “fart now,” and then did so. […]

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Clint Eastwood’s ‘Dirty Harry Potter’ Sets Box Office Record

San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Claiming a ‘one last tme at bat,’ the 74 year old ‘Dirty’ Harry Potter has come out of retirement and is back on San Francisco’s police force as the city’s premier enforcer of street justice against punks. Famous for his one-liner…’Go Ahead..Make My Day You Hogwart Piece Of Shit,’ Dirty […]

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France’s Nicolas Sarkozy Whispers to Obama…”You Need Some Berlusconi Type Bunga-Bunga!”

London, England – (SatireWorld.com) France’s President Nicolas Sarkozy was caught whispering to American President Barack Obama while they were walking together outside a posh London hotel. The two leaders, and others, were to attend a state dinner sponsored by British leader David Cameron. The President was in town for the second stop of a six […]

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Obama Calls Cabinet Back From Holiday Weekend To Begin Investigation Into “First Fart” Teleprompter Tampering

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) President Barack Hussein Obama officially recalled the White House Staff, the Cabinet, and the rest of the Executive Branch back to work Saturday morning, cancelling their Memorial Day weekend plans. He immediately put everyone to work forming a task force and a White House Subcommittee/Special Commission/Task Force into the investigation of […]

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Nazi Convicted For 29,999 Murders Angry… Just One More And He Would Have Received A Free Set Of SS Dinnerware

Selvoka, Poland-(satrireworld.com) Former Ukranian concentration camp guard John Demjanjuk’s trial began today for the murders committed when he served as a Nazi death camp guard in German occupied Russia. He was finally arrested for lying on a citizenship application and entering the US illegally immediately after the end of WWII. He was deported after a […]

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First Daughters Admit “When Daddy Breaks Wind, He Usually Blames Bo”

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) Malia and Sasha Obama, daughters of Barack Hussein Obama, were witnesses to the famous “First Fart” incident on Thursday night in Dover, Delaware. The girls were attending the campaign fundraiser with their father when her read the command to “fart now” on his teleprompter, did it, and then said “I […]

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And The World’s Shortest Head Of State Is….France’s Nicolas Sarkozy!

Paris, France – (SatireWorld.com) First Lady Carla Brunei applauded when her husband, the President of France, stepped up on the stool and took the microphone. His acceptance speech was about as short as his stature, but the list of thank you’s took a few moments.

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Dead Shark With Osama Bin Laden’s Head Inside Washes Up On Miami Beach

Miami Beach, Florida – (SatireWorld.com) Coast Guard officials at the South Beach CGS were swamped with calls from beach goers advising Coast Guard officials they found a dead shark on the beach with waht appears to be Osama Bin Laden’s head inside.

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National Park Service Urged To Find Space On Mt. Rushmore For Obama’s Face

National Park Service, Douth Dakota – (SatireWorld.com) The National Park Service confirmed that Barry Obama could possibly be the first black figure carved into Mt. Rushmore. President Barack Hussein Obama had made a list of 'first things to do' as the first black President living in the White House and it seems being immortalized in […]

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Adolf Hitler’s Grand Daughter Heads Up The Paris Runway In Spring Designer Show

Paris, France – (SatireWorld.com) At the annual Spring Fashion Show in Paris, France, all eyes were upon a newcomer to the fashion and runway scene. Melody Hitler, the legitimate grand daughter of infamous Adolf Hitler, made her debut as a top fashion model for the established designer House of Dior.

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Iceland Promises Volcanic Ash Relief For Europe. Will Bury Volcano Tommorrow

(SatireWorld.com) The government of Iceland has borrowed a global response from Barack Obama’s play book and has apologized to the world for making an icky mess of travel plans and the environment of Europe due to a massive volcano spewing ash into the sky.

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UK Spy Agency MI-5 Now Seeks Gay Spy Recruits

London, England – (SatireWorld.com) Britain’s domestic spy agency M15 wants gay recruits to come out of the closet and join up in the fight against terrorism. After shunning them for decades over worries of blackmail, tacky tastes, and outrageous clothing, MI5 is now asking gay and lesbian people to consider a career as a spy, […]

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Popular NASCAR Driver Replaces His Entire Pit Crew With Ghetto Gang Members

Daytona, Florida – (SatireWorld.com) Jeff Gordon’s decision to take advantage of President Obama’s initiative to employ the underprivilaged in the nation’s ghetto by hiring disavantaged black youngsters cost his seasoned pit crew their jobs today at the Daytona 500 race track in Florida.

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Rose Bowl Parade Officials and the North Korean Army Marching Deal For 2014

Pasadena, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Rose Bowl Parade officials sent an official notice to members of the elite North Korean Army’s womens precision marching corp. The letter gave notice that due to recent international nuclear tensions, the participation of the 5,000 man North Korean precision marching army will not be wanted. The annual parade is used […]

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World’s Happiest Man, ‘Happy’ Ed Gleeson, Tells Friends He’s Thrilled With His New Nigerian Bank Connection

Erie, PA – (SatireWorld.com) ‘Happy’ Ed Gleeson wasted no time in telling friends and family about his new found riches after befriending Abul Gzentabula, a Nigerian banker who contacted Happy Ed by personal email last week.

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Suspected Cannibal Arrested After Trying To Eat Himself-Police Believe It’s An Attempted Suicide

Miami, Florida – (SatireWorld.com) Straight out of the ‘just when I heard everything department,’ comes a bizarre story from Dade county Florida concerning a suspected cannibal named Mervis Lee Short. According to Lt. Jamison Hardy, ‘the man was acting oddly.’

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Descrimination Charged In Firing Man With World’s Longest Nasal Hairs

Rockingham, England – (SatireWorld.com) Professor Bagram Patush was ordered to leave the Lord Faunteroy Academy in disgrace after other faculty members complained about his long nasal hairs skimming the Catalina dressing bowl on the cafeteria’s salad bar.

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Gay Chinese Guy First To Come Out Of Bejing Closet, Lands Twinkies Endorsement Deal

Beijing, China – (SatireWorld.com) Life in the Chinese gay closet was lonely for Choi Lee. No friends. No one to talk to about your problem. Just you and yourself shuttered away from life and reality, afraid the authorities will discover your secret and take you away somewhere that’s really secret too.

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Actor Richard Gere’s Gerbil Finally Breaks His Silence During Oprah Interview

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com) Trying to avoid accusations from the past, Gary the gerbil, age 42, is trying to set straight the allegations that he’s had to live with for the past thirty-five years.

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Octomon Names Arnold Schwartzenegger As Father Of Her 16 Kids

Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Nadya Suleman, better known as the notorious ‘Octomon,’ has named actor Arnold Schwartzenegger as the biological father of her 16 children. Suleman officially changed the birth certificates of all 16 children in a court move today that legally names the children after the Terminator actor.

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After Killing Bin Laden, White House Announces Obama Captured A UFO And Arrested Megatron

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) The Barack Obama White House, issued a revealing statement at a hastily organized recent press conference. Reporters were mesmerized as the White House press secretary related the actions of the ‘Super Teams ‘ part in capturing a Unidentified Flying Object, and the arrest of Transformer’s Megatron.

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