Archive for July, 2011
Obama’s New Car Co: Rubber Band Motors (RBM) Set to Debut!
Detroit, MI – (SatireWorld.com) In a two part announcement sure to impact on the American economy, President Barry Obama first shocked the US automotive world with his new edict demanding all auto manufactures produce fleet economies of 54.1 MPH by 2025, up from the current 27.5 MPG.
Full StoryUnited States Mint Police Nail Down 33 Liberty Street Front Door As Obama Eyes Nation’s Bullion Stash!
New York – (SatireWorld.com) Distinct sounds of chiseling close to the world’s wealthiest city block have been detected by FBI sonar this weekend. The fortress guarding America’s five trillion dollars’ worth of gold and platinum is embedded in Manhattan’s tectonic plate-defying granite bedrock.
Full StoryComic Bill Maher Traces Family Lineage Back To Gay Neanderthals
New York City, NY – (SatireWorld.com) His royal smugness, comic Bill Maher, a staple for the weak-willed who regularly view his HBO show and are thankful for an un-interrupted hour to rub their crotches, has come out and revealed his ancestors were homosexual oriented Neanderthals, not pre-modern heterosexual Cro-Magnons who science believes were the precursor [...]
Full StoryShared Sacrifice Begorrah! Obama Heads for ‘Black Irish” Reunion and Fundraiser on Martha’s Vineyard
Martha’s Vineyard, MA – (SatireWorld.com) President Barry O’Bama is said to be excited over Boston Irish plans to host a ‘big homecoming’ for their prodigal son as he returns to Martha’s Vineyard for the third consecutive August ‘family’ vacation.
Full StoryNo Child Left Behind or With Teeth: Meth Lab Shut Down at Votech School!
Charleston, WV – (SatireWorld.com) Police and K-9 units shut down a Charleston, W. Va industrial arts school after discovering that students, teachers, and the head administrator were running a pharmaceutical lab producing high grade Methamphetamine, (Meth.)
Full StoryWOW! Wacky Wu to Step Down. Pelosi,”He’s Nutz, But We Need his Vote!”
House Chambers – (SatireWorld.com) The Democrats in charge of the asylum today welcomed Congressman David Wu’s resignation but said he couldn’t leave until he cast his vote on the impending debt crisis amendment.
Full StorySchool Project Nets Big Bucks For 7th Graders
Bergenville, New Jersey – (SatireWorld.com) In Bergenville New Jersey, kids filed back into class. It was Monday morning at Bergenville Middle School and 7th graders were eager to share their weekend experiences. They were very excited, since their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship. Veteran teacher Miss Rosa [...]
Full StoryWoe is Dem: Weiner, Wrangle, Wasserman, Waters and Now Wu! WTF?
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) “It’s Weally, Weally Woeful,” said lisping congressman Barney Frank, (D,Gay,MA) discussing the democrats latest Wrinkle involving sexual harassment charges against David Wu, (D OR).
Full StoryObama To Give Away Grand Canyon As Payment For Chinese Debt
Washington, DC (SatireWorld.com) In a shocking turn-around for American taxpayers seeking national debt relief, and a hopeful boost for his re-election campaign, Barack Obama instructed Treasury officials to initiate a sweeping step by step plan to eliminate the nation’s looming debt payments held by foreign governments, namely China.
Full StorySurgeon General: Bachmann’s Headaches OK, Obama’s Bed Wetting Not OK!
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The Surgeon General of the US was forced to confirm rumours that Obama has a ‘slight incontinence problem” after recent attacks by Liberals claimed that Senator Michele Bachmann suffers from ‘debilitating migraine’ headaches making her ‘unfit’ to seek the position of President which fired up a fierce backlash.
Full StoryOsama Bin Laden’s Bunny Slippers Make Their Way To eBay
Islamisbad, Pakistan – (SatireWorld.com) According to SatireWorld reporter Walter Bucket, a more complete story of the rercent Al-Qeada raid that killed Osama Bin Laden is coming to light after an unusual item has made its way onto the popular auction site eBay.
Full StoryStephen Hawking’s String Vest Theory Really Wowed Obama
Washington,DC – (SatireWorld.com) The mystery of the August 2009 award of the Presidential Medal of Thiefdom to Brit chancer Prof Stephen Hawking came close to unraveling this weekend.
Full StoryKinky Friedman to Front Allen West Benefit Concert to Parody Wasserman-Schultz!
Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys, the iconic country music group from the tumbleweed state will be reprising some of their most infamous, and hilarious hits in an upcoming rally for Florida Congressman Allen West as the backlash against Debbie Wasserman Schultz rolls on!
Full StoryTSA Employee Fired After Releasing Airport X-ray Image Of Boss Janet Napolitano
Chicago, Illinois (SatireWorld.com) Saturday was a bad day for TSA employee Melvin Wasserman-Schultz after he inadvertently released over the internet a photo of his boss Janet Napolitano undergoing a routine body scan at Chicago’s O’Hare Airport.
Full StoryChina Threatens To File Suit Against Individual US Taxpayers In The Event Of A Default
Beijing, China (SatireWorld.com) The Minister of Chinese Finance has issued a dire warning if the US defaults on the one trillion dollar debt owed the Chinese government. According Minister Won Hung Lo, the Chinese government will press civil litigation against each US citizen to regain it’s outstanding debt.
Full Story“Captain America” Biggest threat to Democrats says Wasserman Schultz and Napolitano!
DNC National Headquarters (SatireWorld.com) Shortly after declaring white, middle class, working Americans to be a bigger threat than bomb clad muslims riding prayer rugs across the porous western borders, Big Sis says the recent Block Buster Summer film “Captain America” is distorting American values as well!
Full StoryThrockmorton P. Turdblossom’s ‘The Country Boy Advice Column’ (Friday)
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I just got hired to be a new policeman in my town and I already had troubles on my first day. When I pulled Mava Jensen over for making an illegal left turn from the right lane, I had her standing outside of her car, talking about it. She didn’t like [...]
Full StoryPolygamous Same Sex Marriage Rites Mooted Under DOMA Repeal
Washington,DC – (SatireWorld.com) A Senate Judiciary Committee is to hear LGBT legal arguments about recognition of plural wedlock traditions in non-hetero communities.
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