Archive for September, 2011

Man Invents Self-Banning Computer Software! (viewer discretion advised)

Lancaster, England – (SatireWorld.com) In the ever changing world of science and technology amazing marvels find their way into the desktop computers of millions of consumers. Often before much of the technology is proven or actually fully developed to its greatest potential. A Lancaster man possible upped the ante by developing a software system that […]

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‘My Gayest Football Days’ Tells A Compelling Story Of Modern British Soccer

London, England – (SatireWorld.com) A life of soccer and successful contracts with the most winning teams should have made Belville Slaughter a stud muffin with the girls…But things are very different today in merry old England. Belville has decided to leave soccer and enroll in the new ‘George Michael’s School of Advanced Faggotry Studies’ in […]

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BOOK REVIEW: Writer’s Site Proves Old Addage…Give Enough Monkeys A Typewriter And….

Dingleberry, England – (SatireWorld.com) Johnathon Sabastian-Kent’s Monthly Book Review The old addage of ‘give enough monkeys a typewriter and sooner or later they’ll write a story worthy of Shakespeare,’ has almost come true for a group of novice writers located near Lancaster, England…. Well almost that is.

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In A Scathing Rebuke, Publishing House Charges Authors To Publish Their Own Book!

Cagliari, Sardinia – (SatireWorld.com) The publishing house of Lightweight Books announced a new policy, the first in its one hundred year publishing history where they will be charging certain authors to publish their own works. Lightweight House, a respected leader in publications, with famous literary offerings such as… Proper blanket folding, cabinet hardware selection, and […]

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Competing Site Forms Ragtag Army Attacks SatireWorld!

London, England – (SatireWorld.com) Scores of drunken and mainly over-the-hill Englishmen launched an unprovoked attack against SatireWorld early this morning. Casualties were reported to be heavy on the English side as patriotic SW defenders threw projectiles made from ‘Dorky Books’ back in defense of their territory. When asked to explain what that particular book was, […]

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Iranian Navy Threatens To Post Warships Off US Coast

Tehran, Iran – (SatireWorld.com) Iranian naval chief Rear Admiral Habibollah Sayyar took to the Iranian airwaves and declared that it wasn’t fair to have foreign vessels patroling so near the territorial waters of the Iran, and since Iran possesed a larger, more modern fleet of ships than Britain, it deserved more respect.

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Mulligan! Obama Bails Out UAW Golf Complex with EPA Loan to Save ‘Greens Jobs!”

Detroit, MI – (SatireWorld.com) The United Auto Workers (UAW) quietly withdrew their $33M, 1,000 acre resort in Michigan from the market after a private meeting with Obama’s ‘Green Team” at the EPA which promised a cash infusion to promote more ‘green jobs’ and pointing to the sprawling resort as being the ‘Administration’s poster child for […]

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Perverts want to lash Saudi mom for driving kids to school

Riyadh – (SatireWorld.com) It’s the only entertainment permitted to the nation’s repressed, perverted religious police whose terror of women has been traced to centuries of dysfunctional potty training and abuse by syphilitic camels.

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Hog Jaw Detective Agency – Chapter 6

Freedom First Baptist Church of Hog Jaw Sunday Morning Reverend Jeb Thornapple II brushed a bit of lint from his freshly pressed cotton suit lapel and turned toward the full length mirror besides his massive desk.

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Kate Middleton to appear on front cover of Russian ‘vogue’ magazine

Bloodyvostock – (SatireWorld.com) Siberian Tractor and Agricultural Haulage News Magazine has yet to confirm reports tit  (sic) has secured exclusive rights to a picture of Kate Middelton (Ed: who she?) to grace the front cover of its national bra-ssica harvest edition in November.

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Britain Bans Witches Black Hats For Halloween

London, England – (SatireWorld.com) In the realm of political correctness, surely modern Britain has resurrected the Knights of the Roundtable in order to give everyone a commanding seat in the name of diversity. Even at the risk of sounding foolish and maybe paranoid too. Diversity and those dreaded ‘Equality Experts’ have a new target…Black Witches […]

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Bi Lingual Obama Addresses Congressional Black Caucus in Ebonics; Hispanics ‘Outraged!’

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) President Obama in a special outreach to his core base of voters addressed the Congressional Black Caucus as he continued his non stop Re-Immaculation Campaign (RIC) leading up to the 2012 election.

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Where in hell is the EU going to find £2.6 trillion for Eurozone bailout?

New York  – (SatireWorld.com) “We’ll just have to ask Bro’ Barack to steal it for us,” worried IMF sources said today as latest attempts to keep the EU ponzi scam running faltered badly in nervous City trades.

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Al Gore ‘hot’ After Being Denied Insurance Against “Spontaneous Human Combustion!”

Coal Smelt, Tennessee (SatireWorld.com) Al Gore denounced all insurance companies today after it was revealed he has been denied medical and life insurance against “Spontaneous Human Combustion” based on the determination he suffers from a ‘pre existing condition’ according to a spokesman for the gaseous multi-billionaire on Gore’s self promotional TV network, “Current TV.”

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BBC Adds “AC-DC” Reality Sex Show, Drops Popular US Christian Comedy “B.C.-A.D” As Being “Racist!”

London, England – (SatireWorld.com) During a little noticed item which appeared only in the bottom fold of the Daily Mail, BBC programmers have announced that they have dropped the popular American Comedy show “B.C.” based on a Colonial Comic strip, and instead have substituted a bi-sexual reality show called AC-DC.

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Special Late Edition-Hog Jaw Gazette and Executioner- Chapter 5

POLICE INVESTIGATE DUAL MYSTERIES! Special Late Edition-Hog Jaw Gazette and Executioner Hog Jaw police responded late yesterday afternoon to two very strange incidents. Reportedly, one seems to be a ‘missing’ woman and the other were multiple reports of a gigantic chicken observed driving down Main Street just before dark.

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Hog Jaw Detective Agency-Chapter Four

Hog Jaw Detective Agency-Chapter Four (SatireWorld.com) Why That Crazy Old Mizz Schuster! “Shorty, you iz perhaps the stupidest sum ma bitch I ever met!” “Sorry Boss, I…” “Gull darn it, I ain’t got the time for excuses…Look at me! I look like a damn shit hole! Smell like one too and now we gotta git […]

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DNA test amid fears rogue UBS trader ‘is another Obama bastard spawn’ – reports

London – (SatireWorld.com) The Ghanaian trader who’s racked up $2.3billion of illegal debt at Swiss bank UBS ‘may be wholly unaware of his mystery genome’ defence attorneys suggested today.

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Another Academy Award Winning Actor Grabs For The Racist Ring On National TV

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Popular and respected Academy Award winner Morgan Freeman said Tea Party Republicans are on a racially-fueled mission to get President Barack Obama out of office, in an interview with CNN’s Piers Morgan.

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Druids’ Autumn Equinox procession thumbs a nose at Ambassador Susman

London – (SatireWorld.com) Regents Park residents reckon he’s paranoid amid reports the annual trek up Primrose Hill in flowing cultish robes ‘much like the Ku Klux Klan’ faces an unprecedented ban from Winfield House.

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Democrats Evacuate from DC as Reports God Is Going to Dump Rogue Satellite on their Ass!

FEMA Headquarters-Washington (SatireWorld.com) In a somewhat disorderly evacuation from the Capital after Homeland Security maven Janet Napilatano declared Defcon 5 over falling Space ‘Junk’, the whereabouts of the President, his family, Joe Biden, and Harry Reid is currently listed by the White House as ‘unknown.’

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Hog Jaw Detective Agency-Chapter Three

Hog Jaw Hog Jaw Dectective Agency-Chapter three (SatireWorld.com) ‘Call Me ‘Frenchie’ Please’ The Greyhound’s brakes squealed and hissed as the driver pointed the bus away from the Hog Jaw Bus Station. As it gathered speed over the crunching of sparse gravel, the lurching departure was followed by a whoosh of oily diesel fumes and blowing […]

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Lady Boy Not All It’s Cracked to Be Says UK Man Now a Lap Dancer in Pattaya!

Pattaya, Thailand – (SatireWorld.com) A former UK citizen who chose to change his gender in hopes of landing a better job, now says he has second thoughts about his new profession in Thailand where he toils nightly as an exotic dancer entertaining Germans.

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Texas Ends ‘Last Meal’ Requests For Condemned On Death Row

Austin, Texas – (SatireWorld.com) Texas penal authorities have instituted a new policy when it comes to serving those facing the death penalty. The usual ‘last meal’ won’t be like it has been for thousands of other prisoners who awaited their final moments by chowing down on virtually anything they wanted as a last meal before […]

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Obama Hosts Austerity Lunch for PIIGS. $1759 Greek Salads! WTF!

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) Oblivious to cries of outrage over the DOJ expenditure of $16.00 muffins for meetings, Obama hosted an economic summit brunch for treasury ministers from Portugal, Ireland, Italy and Spain (PIIGS) at the White House to discuss Austerity measures to the tune of $175,000, not including beer, wine, and a mandatory […]

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Obama Unveils Plans To Use Unused Solar Panels To Fix Nation’s Ailing Bridges

Solyndra Corporation (SatireWorld.com) In a major address concerning his faltering jobs plan, and putting America back to work, President Obama spoke from the front lawn of the closed and shuttered green energy giant, Solyndra Corporation, a once touted solution to America’s financial and energy crisis.

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TSA Detains Limey For Attempting to Smuggle Endangered “Alligator Bags’ into US!

Newark Airport, Newark New Jersey (SatireWorld.com) Minimum Wage TSA union workers, smarting from a series of law enforcement charges running from rape, murder, theft, drug smuggling, pedophilia, and sexual fondling and harassment attempted to make it all right by detaining a British man who claims he was in the country seeking medical treatment.

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Union Bakers Panic After $16.00 Per Blueberry Muffin Government Rip-Off Discovered

Washington, DC- (SatireWorld.com) They’re calling it Muffingate! Fresh on the heels of Barack Obama’s squirrel-like chattering to raise personal taxes on anyone who is rich, or has an income that exceeds what socialist President Obama considers ‘rich,’a new scandal has emerged that shows the wasteful practices of the current Administration.

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Hog Jaw Detective Agency-Chapter Two

Hog Jaw Detective Agency Chapter two (SatireWorld.com) The Incident at Bernie’s Merriweather spun the wheel of the Eldorado and turned on to the highway that would lead them to Mizz Schuster’s place about 40 minutes away. Shorty fidgeted in the seat rubbing his swollen wrists. He hoped the large bolt cutters wouldn’t leave a long […]

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Whitey Bulger Reward Scam Now Tied to Iceland, UBS & Rogue Trader!

(SatireWorld.com) INTERPOL is now looking into the nefarious connection between the recent capture of Whitey Bulger, the bogus reward payout, the Icelandic Mafia, and the Rogue Trader at UBS responsible for a $2.5B bad investment bet!

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