Archive for October, 2011

US To Deploy Predator Drones To Watch Over Occupy Wall Street Demonstrators

The Pentagon – (SatireWorld.com) The Pentagon, working in conjunction with the CIA, has deployed Predator drones to watch over Occupy Wall Street demonstrations at key US cities. Equipped with ultra-high resolution cameras, the drone’s task will be to capture high resolution photos of the demonstrators and forward the images back to the NSA where they […]

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Historians Uncover Evidence Obama Never Learned From First Science Fair Project

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) When he was a young boy in Indonesia, young Barack Obama/Barry Soetoro did a science fair project on the effects of pissing into the wind. Apparently, he has never learned the lessons of the experiments that he conducted for his project.

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Tempers Flare As Police Mistake Obama Supporters For Zombies

Foreskin, IL – (SatireWorld.com) Local Foreskin police were tagged, as racist and quick-on-the-gun, after a hastily formed riot squad descended upon a gathering of Barack Obama supporters assembling in a local park.

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The 2011 Dorking Dorks Award Winners Are….

It’s with great pleasure that SatireWorld announces….. it’s that time again…..The Dorking Dorks Awards are out! These Annual Honors are given to the persons who did the human gene pool the biggest service by disposing of themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.

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Investigative Journalists Try To Discover Middle Name of Throckmorton P. Turdblossom

Storm Cellar, Arkansas – (SatireWorld.com) Just what, exactly, does the “P.” stand for in Throckmorton P. Turdblossom? The curmudgeon, who writes The Country Boy Advice Column (for the publication), and noted humorist is refusing to reveal his exact middle name. All that the author will say is that it is a family name, it would […]

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Gay Chinese Claims The Dork Dance Made Him Stupid

Beijing, China – (SatireWorld.com) Wong Fu was a typical engineering student at the People’s University in Beijing. But when he went online and saw a new dance craze sweeping parts of England, he took a few moments and learned the intricate dance moves. It was a big mistake for Fu who later learned his IQ […]

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EU Diversity Edict Kills Primogeniture in UK: First Born Son Can Now be Queen!

The centuries old tradition of Primogeniture in Britain which determined that succession to the Crown went to the first born male over other siblings has been overturned due to concerns of the EU over ‘gender equality, diversity and religious freedom.’

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Success of Wendy’s “Where’s The Beef?” Prompts Other Chains To Revive Old Ad Campaigns

Madison Avenue, NYC – (SatireWorld.com) The success of Wendy’s recent revival of their old “Where’s The Beef?” ad campaign has prompted several other restaurant chains and other business to revive old advertising campaigns and marketing plans. People watching network television over the next few months might believe that they are actually watching a retrospective of […]

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Barack Obama to Star in Remake of “Downhill Racer”

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) President Barack Obama will star in a new Hollywood remake in an attempt to increase his rapidly sagging approval ratings. The film, originally made in 1969 and then starring Robert Redford, was titled “Downhill Racer.”

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Rosie O’Donnell Says New Girlfriend Oprah Winfrey Is The “Gorilla My Dreams”

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Rosie O’Donnell announced her new lover’s identity on Jay Leno with a confession that Oprah Winfrey is “the Gorilla my dreams.” When Leno asked her if he heard her right through her New York accent and wondered if she meant “Girl of,” Rosie bitch slapped Jay and told him that […]

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Adolph Hitler’s Grand Daughter Gives Birth To Twin Boys In Bonn Hospital

Bonn, Germany – (SatireWorld.com) Adolf Hitler’s only granddaughter, Ava Gesundheit Braun-Hitler, announced the August birth of twin sons who were delivered in a secret underground bunker beneath Bonn General Hospital. Reportedly the twins were conceived at the Josef Mengele Fertility Clinic in Paz, Bolivia. Both mother and twins are reportedly doing fine. A huge torch […]

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Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler Loses Punch-up With Bathroom Toilet

Asuncion,Paraguay – (SatireWorld.com) Aerosmith’s lead singer Steven Tyler said that the recent ‘fall’ that knocked his teeth out and cut his eye was caused by shitty food poisoning not a drug induced high.

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Finally, Proof Osama bin Laden and Muammar Qaddafi Are Dead…Both Registered To Vote In Chicago

Chicago, IL – (SatireWorld.com) There is finally conclusive evidence that Osama bin Laden and Muammar Qaddafi are really dead. Yesterday, they both registered to vote in the city of Chicago in time for the Presidential elections this fall.

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Too Late! Fergus McCarthy Throws His Hat in Ring for Ireland’s Presidency!

(SatireWorld.com) Friends of Irish Poet, Contractor, and Artist, Fergus McCarthy said they weren’t surprised that the crusty curmudgeon filed for the Irish Presidency just minutes too late.

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Ellis Ian Fields Buys His New Gerbil An Engagement Ring

West Sussex (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) OK, they do things differently in England. Quaint homes with beautiful gardens. A temperate climate that is usually damp and cool. Riding bicycles and driving small gas efficient automobiles. Even have pets that do, well, very odd things!

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Local Authors Strike Lucative Deal With Leading Toilet Paper Manufacturer

Dorking (UK) Eleven novice authors have struck it rich by signing a lucrative deal with a leading US toilet paper manufacturer. The authors of what’s being described as the worst book of the millenium, have found an outlet for their latest work that promises big bucks and some happy ‘end’ users.

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Just In Time For Halloween, Meet Prince Charles the Impaler

London(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Britain’s most famous twit has a family secret that for almost 700 years has been kept a buried secret. Now, Prince Charles admits he is related the the infamous Romanian… Vlad the Impaler.

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Democratic Congressman Calls For Police Restraint On ‘Occupiers-America’s Newest Heroes’

Chicago, IL – (SatireWorld.com) Speaking from tne House of Representatives floor, Rep. Bobby Rush (D-Ill.) said he is “ashamed” of the Oakland Police Department’s crackdown on protestors on the Occupy Oakland movement on Tuesday, and called on police across the country to act with restraint when dealing with those protestors. “A betrayal of American values […]

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Obama: “In 2008 I Was Cool, Now, I’m A Dud.”

San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Hold on…Did I hear this right? Speaking at yet another Democratic fundraiser Tuesday, Obama admitted for the first time that being a supporter of his doesn’t have the same cool factor it did four years ago. “It’s not as trendy to be an Obama supporter as it was back in […]

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Desperate Dorks Buy Their Own Book to Pump Sales Then Fight Over Profits!

Dorking, England – (SatireWorld.com) Shortly after the State Department was found to have bought and distributed over $70k worth of Obama’s first biography , ‘Bongs with my Father,’ mostly to nations that either don’t read or speak English, a cabal of UK writers fancied they had hit on the method to spur their own lagging […]

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Veteran Writers ‘Jump Ship’ In Search Of Greener Pastures

Florida, USA – (SatireWorld.com) It was bound to happen sooner or later as frustrated writers from across the globe sought more amicable pastures to ply their trade craft without the drama and behind the scenes manipulation that has caused so much grief for so many. Leaving a faltering website that promised much, but in recent […]

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Confused Bumbling Limey Uses GPS To Find The Hershey Highway

San Francisco, USA – (SatireWorld.com) Imagine going to sleep in your hotel room and waking up and finding that the way to gay tourist destinations might be difficult without a map. But luckily for bumbling and confused limey, Ian Younge, having a trusty GPS solved his dilemma.

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Morse’s First Post from Satire Heaven; God Has a Sense of Humour and Is Not a Bolivian Dork!

Somewhere in a bunker in the USA – (SatireWorld.com) A bloody, but unbowed Morse, recently deceased due to death by unruly SPOOF mob, sent his first communication through the ether today, to alert his fans that Heaven is really all it’s cracked up to be, and he’s got plenty of good company!

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This Is Not Me!

Lancaster (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) A rather two faced (and spotty faced) poorly paid council house dweller masquerading as the editor of a very derogatory, malicious and rather tedious little website, know as the spoof.com has finally admitted he likes nothing more than stirring up trouble among writers and contributors to his site.

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Debbie Wasserman-Schultz Accused Of Child Abuse in South Carolina

Charleston, SC – (SatireWorld.com) U.S. Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, the chairwoman of the Democratic National Committee, interrupted an interview with a reporter Saturday in Charleston to speak with two elementary-school age children that she quickly labeled “little Democrats.”

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Need Drugs To Help Make Protesting Easier? Boston Has The Answer

OWS-Boston – (SatireWorld.com) Since its inception, the Occupy Wall Street (OWS) movements have been wrought with controversy…from multiple instances of overt anti-Semitic displays to allegations of rape and sexual abuse of minors occurring at rallies across the country. Now you can add drug possesion and distribution felonies to the protestor’s disgusting venue.

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Editor Makes First Solo Human-Powered Rocket Flight

Lancaster (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) “Before Yves Rossy flew across the English Channel with a strap-on rocket glider wing, there was ME writer and editor Mark Lowton from Lancaster, England,” claims Mark Lowton, England’s newest human powered flight pioneer.

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Manchester United’s Poor Performance Leaves Supporters Wondering ‘What’s next?’

Manchester, England — (SatireWorld.com) Manchester City thrashed fierce rival Manchester United 6-1 at Old Trafford on Sunday to hand Alex Ferguson his heaviest defeat in 25 years in charge. “I’m shattered, I can’t believe it,” a shocked Ferguson said after seeing his side’s 37-match unbeaten run at home come to a dramatic halt.

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Biden’s Gaddafi Moment: Joins OWS; Discusses 2016 Campaign from Tent!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Vice President Joe Biden, yet another of Obama’s failed political schemes, took up the call of America’s Flea Party* and moved into an air conditioned tent for the Occupy Wall Street crowd in NYC as he kicked off his 2016 Presidential Election Campaign, his third after failures in 1988 and 2008 […]

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‘Ethnic Cleansing’ Continues at UK Spoof Site in Search for Elusive Scarlet Pimpernel!

Lancaster (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Bolivian Brown Shirts are in full hue and cry, as they turn the once popular UK humour site known in certain intellectual supremacy circles as “the last word in free speech”, into a witch hunting exercise to out any perceived double agents.

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