Archive for November, 2011

Footballer Gary Speed Was At The End Of His Rope Say Friends

Gary Speed, the Welshman with the magic foot, was found hanged at his Huntington Hall home. The cause according to local officials was a suspected love triangle gone wrong. “Gary was figuratively at the end of his rope over this,” said Constable Angus MacCloud.

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American Really Suffers From Mass Confusion

America has become the land of the special interests and home of the complete double standard. How is that so you say? Well, in case you’ve been away, progressive forces have decided to completely twist our society into a puzzling knot that no one understands any longer. Right is wrong and wrong is now right. […]

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Barney Frank to Move in with John Bercow in New BBC Reality Show: “Mind Me Gap!”

Cambridge, MA – (SatireWorld.com) International Twitter News was mildly aflutter today over minor and major news events on both sides of the pond…. In England, eyebrows were raised over speaker John Bercow’s commissioning of a life like portrait of himself, half stooped, head slapped directly on his shoulders minus a neck, as he rises from […]

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Brit Woman Fired From Job After Harrassment By Islamic Co-Workers

London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) An English worker, who happens to be a Christian, has launched a landmark legal action after she lost her job when she blew the whistle on what she says was a campaign of racial hate by fundmentalist Muslims who worked with her at the same job.

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Cap Looks Over His Shoulder at 70….And Finds THE BASTARDS are Gaining!

Bull Frog, SC – (SatireWorld.com) This morning was like every other morning for the past six years since retirement. Nothing different or extraordinary at all. The sun came up eventually, the dog needed his breakfast and his constitutional, I had to take my customary 3 (expensive) pills in order to keep my blood pressure down, […]

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Local Man Gets Insulting Birthday Surprise – Culprits Now Sought By Interpol

Charleston, SC – (SatireWorld.com) The Charleson bomb squad responded to a frantic call from a frazzled writer who thought one of the many public figures he’s lampooned over the years was about to get their revenge on of all days….His birthday!

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Girl Jumping Out Of Birthday Cake Not Fun Says Captain America After His Release On Bond

South Carolina, USA – (SatireWorld.com) The boys down a Coon Bottom Golf Club have a bit of egg on their faces after an afternoon surprise birthday party they held for a golfing friend fizzled in a big way.

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Fool Falls and Breaks His Arm During Drunken Anti-Birthday Celebration

Dorking (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Upon hearing of all the fun going on at SatireWorld over Captain America’s birthday, the jealous scoundrels at the Spoof.com decided to hold a anti-birthday bash at their headquarters in Dorking. Beer and whiskey flowed as each toasted their victory in running a once fun website into the hard cold ground. […]

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Obama Names Jon Corzine to Head New SUPER DUPER Committee !

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) In the wake of the failure of the Super Committee to find a solution to the nation’s indebtedness after 4 months, President Obama today reached out to Jon Corzine, one of his party’s finest financial minds, to help solve the monetary mess!

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Super Committee Finally Freed from Being Stuck to their Chairs After Massive DC Circle Jerk

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The Secret Service announced today that the 12 members of Obama’s Super Committee were finally freed after they were stuck to their chairs and unable to get up after failing to agree on a debt reduction solution for the country.

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The Labor Department Approves Trade Adjustment Assistance For Former Employees Of Bankrupt Solar Panel Maker Solyndra.

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The Labor Department today announced that it had approved Trade Adjustment Assistance for the former employees of the bankrupt solar panel maker Solyndra.

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Porn Producers Use Occupy Berkley As A Movie Set

Oakland, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Just when you thought the Occupy Movement couldn’t get any raunchier or nastier, another example of the movement’s talent and aims bubbles to the surface.

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Courting The Female Vote, Islam-style

Cairo, Egypt – (SatireWorld.com) A female Salafi Candidate for Egyptian Parliament said today in a speech to women, “Women are deficient in intelligence and religion, and it is not permissible for them to be in authority”

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Kardashian Finds Fan Rejection ‘Hard to Swallow’ as Petition to Get Her Butt off Air Goes Viral!

Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Reports are circulating that 31 year old Reality Diva Kim Kardashian is seeking a rehab stint to deal with a surge of fan rejection after her 72 day publicity and money inspired sham wedding to basketball player Kris Humphries ended abruptly before the sex tape was even edited and shopped around.

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Fleas and Lice and maggots…Oh My!

San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Poor sanitation and evidence of lice and fleas at the Occupy San Francisco encampment endanger the health of everyone in the overcrowded, makeshift tent city at Justin Herman Plaza, public health officials said Wednesday.

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Formicophilia… A New Favorite Among Britain’s Sexual Thrill Seekers

London-(satireworld.com) Mohammed Moogoto says he doesn’t miss Pakistan any longer, especially the daily threats of violence and a life filled with occasional chaos. Today, Mohammed gets up every morning and drives his new S-series Mercedes Benz to his custodial job at the Entomology Center at Norwich Pharmaceutical Company in NW London, where he cleans laboratories […]

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Sexy Eyes In Saudi Arabia Can Bring Prison Time

Women with sexy eyes in Saudi Arabia may be forced to cover them up, according to the spokesperson of the Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice (CPVPV) in the conservative Gulf kingdom.

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Mysterious Chinese Google Earth Image Explained

Beijing, China – (SatireWorld.com) The plot has thickened in the mystery of the giant structures in the Chinese desert. The Chinese military has explained the recent mysterious image that has cropped up on the Google Earth website. A complex array of gridwork etched into the barren desert landscape has mystified millions for almost a week. […]

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Where Are The Old Girlfriends of Obama?

I hadn’t thought about this…But where are Obama’s past girlfriends…Surely he had at least one? No past girl friends popping up anywhere? Strange…strange to the point of being downright weird!

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Chelsea Clinton Denies She Capitalized on her Looks to get NBC Job!

Rabbit Hash, KY (Satire World.com) NBC News (sic) announced that Chelsea Clinton, the only acknowledged child of former President Bill Clinton, and current Secretary of Sate Hillary Clinton, had been hired as a special correspondent for the network.

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Obama Vows to Save London’s Olympics: Mandates 10,000 New TSA Agents Will Be Sent to UK

London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) With the announcement that UK officials woefully underestimated the need for security for the upcoming Olympics by over 50%, President Obama renewed an old business deal from 1939 announcing the latest twist to the famous ‘lend/lease’ deal which pulled Britain from the brink of defeat at the start of WWII.

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Lost Nazi Documents Reveal Hitler Play-Acted WWII Naval Battles In His Bathtub

Bonn, Germany – (SatireWorld.com) A lost trove of historical documents has given World War II history buffs an inside look at how Nazi leader Adolph Hitler planned WWII naval battles well in advance of actual combat.

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Duke of Cambridge off to Falklands to Participate In Sheep Round Up Despite Outrage over “Queue for a Ewe” British Dating Site!

Manchester (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) British Tourists checking out possible mates in the Falklands as part of the Ryanair sponsored Sex Tour entitled “Me and Ewe!”

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Survey Shows Twelve Out Of Eleven People Don’t Trust Public Opinion Polls

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) A recent study by Fletcher Polling Services have discovered that most people (12 out of 11) don’t really trust the results of public opinion polls or surveys. While many feel that survey results are merely misleading, a larger group felt that “questions and results are manipulated by the askers to get […]

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Thanksgiving In The Year 2025…The Progressive’s Pilgrim’s Progress

Thanksgiving 2025 (satireworld.com) Smallville, MA “Winston!!!! Come into the dining room, it’s time to eat,” Julia yelled to her husband. “In a minute, honey, it’s a tie score,” he answered. Actually Winston wasn’t very interested in the traditional holiday football game between Detroit and Washington. Ever since the government passed the Civility in Sports Statute […]

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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column” (Thursday Edition)

Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I turned in a book report the other day and my teacher didn’t like it none. She said that I needed to comment on the theme and the symbolism and more of the plot and the depth of the characters. I picked the Illustrated Classics comic book edition of The Last […]

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Limosine Liberals Flock To Occupy Wall Street Offering Support Against ‘Tax Dodging’ Business

New York City, NY – (SatireWorld.com) With public parks across the nation being over run by the tattered protesting OWS Millenium masses, stumbling street bums, and other assorted derelicts, a familiar face is missing. You can look amongst dreadlocked protestors holding signs deriding the unfair corruptness of big business and corporations that nary pay their […]

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Cain Accuser’s Have Storied Past

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) GOP presidential hopeful Herman Cain argues that he’s no sexual harasser, but friends and family members of one accuser say they were only trying to right a wrong no woman should suffer in the workplace.

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Why Barack Obama Hates Herman Cain’s Success: He Earned it!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Psychologists are having a field day as reports of Obama ‘going mental’ after the spectacular rise of Herman Cain threatens his re election fantasy and which is now being traced to his mixed genes being in conflict!

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Scientists Say Asteroid Will Hit Earth. Iran Most Likely ‘Ground Zero’

Houston, Texas – (SatireWorld.com) Scientists at NASA forewarned civilization weeks before an asteriod the size of California would strike ‘somewhere on the planet during December. They were tracking the out of world body with a state-of-the-art telescope from atop the Empire State building in New York City.

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