Archive for December, 2011
OWS Plans Rose Bowl Parade Protest By Forming A Human Float
Pasadena, CA – (SatireWorld.com) The Occupy Wall Street movement are finalizing plans for a scheduled invasion and disruption Jan. 2 at the Rose Parade in Pasadena. OWS announced the action in November when the weather in NYC was turning colder. The protest could bring anywhere from 400 to 40,000 protesters to the internationally televised event.
Full StoryThrockmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column” (New Year’s Edition)
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, My Daddy got him a new coon dog for Christmas. Do they call this a coon dog cuz it is part raccoon? Does that mean that only half of his tail will be striped and that he’ll have a smaller mask? Billy Joe Jim Bob Johnson Flea and Tick Holler, Arkansas [...]
Full StoryBritain’s ‘Honor Killings’ Double As Immigrants Observe Sharia Law Over British Law
London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) The British system of total inclusion and acceptance of any and all immigrants has resulted in Sharia Law undermining British Law. As proof, the number of women from Britain’s most Muslim ethnic communities stepping forward to report honor-related violence has more than doubled in the past three years alone,this is according [...]
Full StoryOne Legged Man Sought After Daylight Footjacking of Size 12 Air Jordan!
Chicago, IL – (SatireWorld.com) Chicago police today cordoned off most of the South Side of Chicago after a daring midday armed robbery left a hapless citizen with only one of his newly ‘acquired’ Air Jordan Sneakers! Leroy Jerome Johnson, no relation to “Biggie” Johnson the rapper gunned down last week as he was in the [...]
Full StoryNorth Koreans Shocked! Plan To Shoot Kim Jong Il’s Body To The Moon Goes Awry!
North Korea Thousands of North Korean mourners gathered to bid farewell to ‘Dear Leader’ as a huge funeral procession wound its way through the drab streets of the North Korean capitol. A distraught crowd of an estimated one million people cried openly as the 1970′s vintage Lincoln hearse slowly drove toward the De-militarized zone (DMZ) [...]
Full StoryThrockmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”(Wednesday Edition)
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I got me a question. Why do folks say “I’d bet good money…..”? Who’d want to bet bad money? I wouldn’t make a bet with nobody fer Monopoly money. I wouldn’t bet no counterfeit money neither. I’d do it with Confederate money, cuz the stars and bars might rise again if [...]
Full StoryWhat The Hell Is This Kwanzaa Thing Anyway?
Chicago, IL – (SatireWorld.com) President Obama went on the airwaves today praising the celebration of Kwanzaa and wishing celebants a ‘happy and healthy’ Kwanzaa. I’m not sure, but the last time I looked my Kwanzaa was looking pretty healthy. So, what the hell is Kwanzaa anyway?
Full StoryDear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column” (Tuesday Edition)
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, My grandma’s mind is gone. This year, for Christmas, she tried to wrap her cat. She gave me the box her toaster came in for a gift (just the box and the instructions, not the toaster). My sister got a sack full of old TV Guides. She’s also starting to smell [...]
Full StoryPort Dover Woman Sues Las Vegas Strip Club Over Annoying Rash!
Bend Over at Port Dover – (SatireWorld.com) A woman, who can not be named for legal reasons, not to mention a Super Injunction, brought suit in a Port Dover, Canada civil court charging that what happened in Las Vegas “definitely DID NOT stay in Las Vegas!”
Full StoryThrockmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column” (Monday Edition)
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, We unwrapped all of our Christmas presents. When I say “unwrapped,” I mean that literally. We had to carefully cut the tape and undo the wrapping and role the pieces of wrapping paper back onto the cardboard tubes. We do this because my mother insists that we have to “save the [...]
Full StoryEgypt Plans New Pyramid Construction In 2012
Cairo, Egypt-(satireworld.com) Egyptian authorities have begun the process of building the fourth Pyramid of Giza in order to aleviate the severe unemployment problem that has plagued the country since 5,000 BC. Various government offices hope to keep the unruly populace busy and employed. With this proposed action authorities hope to ward off any future unrest [...]
Full StoryThrockmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”(Merry Christmas Edition)
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, Have you got any advice for cooking Christmas Dinner tomorrow. My worthless husband ain’t shot a turkey yet (the Barlows have been home, so he can’t sneak onto their place and git one of theirs) and my kids ain’t found no roadkill, so I may have to go buy me a [...]
Full StoryVerifying the Gender of Santa Claus
New Mexico Desert – (SatireWorld.com) In November of 1998, I received a very disturbing e-mail. It had been forwarded several times, so there was no way to point to the original author or origin. I would like to quote that e-mail in it’s entirety, and then add my own comments: He’s a She
Full Story“It’s a Tribal Thing,” Says Michael Jordan Explaining Riots, Stabbings and Shootings over New Sneakers!
Detroit, MI – (SatireWorld.com) “It’s going better than expected,” said a Nike executive as the death toll over the mad rush for the new Air Jordan high top sneakers was kept under 10 after stores opened at midnight to sell the urban gang bangers favorite footwear.
Full StoryBad Heir Day: Trump Quits Republicans, Threatens to Scuttle 2012 Elections!
New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) A petulant Donald Trump threw the 2012 elections into turmoil and doubt as he announced he was considering a run at the Presidency as an independent after changing his party affiliation to “Quisling”, after two years spent infiltrating the Republican Party.
Full StoryMan Who Received A Victoria Secrets Model For Christmas Gets Confused
Lancaster(UK)-(SatireWorld.com) Little Markie Lowton seems the normal 17 year old. He likes football, computer games, watching TV, and writing silly little stories. Most would say he was a normal kid with a big imagination and he certainly had enough friends to keep him company…But that all changed on Christmas day when he was 'one of [...]
Full StoryThrockmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”(Friday Edition)
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I’m not a country boy, so don’t know if you can give me advice, ehh. I live in another country in Dover, Canada, ehh. The reason that I am writing is because of my wife, ehh. I understand that she has been cheating on me with a man from Iceland, ehh. [...]
Full StoryChaz Bono and Kim Jong Ugh! Two Brudders with Udder Mudders?
New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) The New York Times and the HuffPoo Post, two financially suffering tabloid media outlets, today had front page lead stories on the possibility that Chaz Bono and Kim Jong Ugh either were conjoined twins separated at birth, or were the product of Kim Jong-ILLs relationship with both Shirley McClain AND [...]
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