Archive for December, 2011
Whoopie Goldberg Says…”Communism Is A Great Concept.”
New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Coming off an apparent fart she popped while on live TV last week, Whoopi Goldberg declared on her show “The View” Tuesday that communism is “a great concept” that “makes perfect sense.”
Full StoryDwarf Tossing Suspected in Kim Jong Il Demise: Pelosi and Szarkozy Vie for ‘Shortest Dictator” Crown!
Citing ‘unexplained’ bruises on recently deceased North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il’s tiny head, western intelligence analysts now suspect the dare devil dictator was a victim of his own believe in immortality and a drunken ‘dwarf tossing’ contest gone terribly wrong!
Full StoryHalf of Oklahoma Population To Be In Arizona For New Year’s
Oklahoma City, OK – (SatireWorld.com) Population experts have determined that half of the population of the state of Oklahoma will be in the state of Arizona on New Year’s Day. Mark Harrison, with the Census Bureau, said that “this is not due to their having better parties in Phoenix or because of the weather. It’s [...]
Full StoryNo. Korea’s Kim Jong-Il’s Recent ‘Eddie Van Halen Tribute DVD’ To Be Re-released In Honor Of His Death
People Democratic Republic of North Korea – (SatireWorld.com) American singer Marie Osmond had reportedly spent three weeks as the guest of North Korea’s strongman Kim Jong-Il shortly before his death. According to sources they are both fans of dancing, singing, and various types of popular music, and have made several homemade movies together at the [...]
Full StoryMichael Jackson’s Nose In Discussions To Play President In “Sleeper” Remake
Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) The Woody Allen 1973 comedy hit “Sleeper” is scheduled to be remade in 2012. Members of the Michael Jackson family are in negotiations and discussions with Executive Producer Woody Allen to cast Michael’s nose to play the part of the Leader/President in the movie.
Full StoryDue To Kim Jong Il’s Death Rose Bowl Parade Officials Cancel North Korean Army Marching Deal Set For January 1st
Pasadena, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Rose Bowl Parade officials sent an official notice to members of the elite North Korean Army’s womens precision marching corp. The letter gave notice that due to the death of the regime’s Dear Leader, the participation of the 10,000 man North Korean precision marching army will not be wanted. The annual [...]
Full StoryHitchens Meets Kim Jong II; It Doesn’t Go Well!
The Pearly Gates – (SatireWorld.com) Well, to say I was gobsmacked would be an understatement after running into “The Dear Leader’ unexpectedly in GOD’S waiting room! The little North Korean BASTARD is even shorter and weirder than I imagined, especially after he was forced to remove his platform shoes and comb his hair before entering [...]
Full StoryNorth Korea’s Kim Jong Il Finds ‘The Perdition Buffet’ Not To His Liking
Pyongyang, North Korea – (SatireWorld.com) According to North Korean television, Kim Jong Il, North Korea’s longtime leader, died of heart failure while dining on his personal train. He was 69 or 70 depending on which birth version you believe.
Full StoryThrockmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”(Monday Edition)
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, The Miami Dolphins fired Tony Sparano as their head coach because they are 4-9 this season. Why did they do this? Ed Earl Budd Tractorpost, Florida
Full StoryESPN Says Jesus Close To Signing Deal With Denver Broncos
Jeruselem, Israel – (SatireWorld.com) Sportcasters on ESPN revealed they have details of a secret deal between the Denver Broncos football team and successful Israeli quarterback Jesus H. Christ. Called the ‘sports deal of the millenium,’ Christ will sign on to a record multi-decade deal that includes a cathederal in his name, book signings, and a [...]
Full StoryDNC’s Debbie Wasserman-Schultz Mistaken For Urinal In Fundraising Mix-Up
Detroit, MI – (SatireWorld.com) The head of the Democratic National Committee might want to think twice about manning phone banks in big city get-out-the-vote volunteer centers…Especially if they’re located on Skid Rows like Detroit’s Obama re-election headquarters
Full StoryIn ’60 Minutes’ Interview-Obama Rates Himself As One Of The Top Four Presidents In US History!
New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) President Barack Obama sat for a long anticipated interview with CBS’s “60 Minutes” last week. The interview, actually broadcast on prime time TV, left out a statement where Obama essentially declared himself the fourth best president in terms of his accomplishments.
Full StoryVoice from Away: Christopher Hitchens Muses about Tim Tebow, Scotch and the Afterlife!
(Satire World.com) From Somewhere ‘OUT THERE.’ Well, I’ve been waiting a few days now for my entrance interview, and so far I’ve been left to cool my heels waiting to meet ‘The Man.’ It’s been pleasant actually. Reasonably polite staff silently scurrying around the waiting room, and the Scotch ain’t bad either, 64 year old [...]
Full StorySaudi Woman Tortured And Murdered — Cops Suspect Magic Genie
Madina, Saudi Arabia – (SatireWorld.com) A Saudi woman said to be haunted by jinn (Genie spirits) beat and tortured herself for hours with fire until she fell unconscious and died later at hospital.
Full StoryThrockmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”(Sunday Edition)
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I gots me a question. They got these doctors that just do work on women called “gynecologists.” Why don’t they just call them “cooter-ologists?’ Is “gynecolo” the fancy Latin word for cooter or something? Luther Bubba Sheepbladder, Mississippi
Full StoryA Mao Tse -Tung Christmas!
America – (SatireWorld.com) It’s 68 degrees outside, and the only thing on the ground are acorns and pine needles as I reach into the attic cubby to pull out the traditional and universal symbol of the third week in December previously known in another life time as “CHRISTMAS.”
Full StoryBradley Manning’s Fiance Linked to Iran’s Capture of Spy Drone!
Fort Gonorrhea, Nevada – (SatireWorld.com) Sources within the Department of Defense confirmed today that the mystery of Iran’s capture of a sophisticated spy drone has been linked to Wikileaks suspect Private Manning and his fiance, a 25 year old technical Sergeant reportedly in charge of the drone at the time it went missing!
Full StoryJulian Assange Granted UK Asylum after Fathering 6 Children While Under House Arrest!
London(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) The saga of Wikileaks founder Julian Assange appears to have come to a happy ending as Britain’s high court, under threat by the European Court of Human Rights, has granted the alleged rapist and molester permanent asylum in the UK.
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