Archive for January, 2012

Eric Holder: ‘New Federal Concentration Camps Will Have Color TVs and Limited Internet Access’

The Justice Department – (SatireWorld.com) The Obama administrations emphasis on cleaning up its image concerning the new Concentration Camps, or mass detention camps as officials call them, took a turn for the better when Justice Department head Attorney General Eric Holder showed reporters the nicely painted 18 man cells with a brand new 14 inch […]

Full Story

Extreme Makeover: Obama Urged to Run as White Capitalist Presbyterian with Hair in Run Up To Election!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Leaks emanating from behind closed doors of President Obama’s inner sanctum are pointing to a complete makeover for the President as recent polls indicate his popularity is so low even Democratic Congressman Henry “Bugger” Waxman could defeat him in his own party primary!

Full Story

Crocodile Eats 75 Villagers in Remote Kenyan Park

Bwanna, Kenya – (SatireWorld.com) Game preserve officers tracked down and killed a 45 foot long crocodile today after it was seen leaving a village shortly after it decimated the inhabitants during an evening celebration. The reptile is being reported as the ‘world’s largest crocodile.’ First reports claimed upwards of 50 native villagers were eaten, but […]

Full Story

“Boy In A Bag” Mystery Reopened as Ties to “Britain’s Got Talent” Revealed!

London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) “All good things come to people who wait,” said Fiona Wilcox, the Crown’s Coroner for Westminster, as she announced she would be reopening the investigation of the ‘mysterious’ death of MI6 cryptologist Gareth Williams, 31, found trussed up like a bagged goose just two short years ago.

Full Story

Government Scientists Discovery New Crayola Crayon Color

Palo Alto, CA – (SatireWorld.com) First there was the much touted colors of 2011 certain to dazzle the eye of any 10 year old, like Fuzzy Wuzzy Brown, Purple Heart,Banana Mania,Cotton Candy, Manatee, and Shadow. Today government scientists announced a break through Crayola color which they hope will allow grownups a chance to marvel at […]

Full Story

Democrats All On Board with Newt’s Space Colony Fantasy , Back California Bond Proposal!

Cape Canaveral, FL – (SatireWorld.com) Newt Gingrich knows how to shake up an election by keeping his friends close and his enemies even closer. “Space Shot” threw more than just a little bull shit against the wall this past week with his comments, while campaigning at Cape Canaveral, btw, to push for commuter travel to […]

Full Story

Barney Frank Announces His Wedding Plans

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Congressman Barney Frank’s office has confirmed that the retiring 71-year-old Representative is marrying is longtime partner, Jim Ready, in a Massachusetts ceremony. A date has not been set.

Full Story

Polish Man Wins Odd Wager, Butt Is Banned From His Favorite Bar

Luz, Poland – (SatireWorld.com) Wladasvil Galovinski was aways the clown out for a laugh, and during secondary school at Luz's Red Guard Academy, Wlad would do devilish things to provoke teachers and to give merriment to his friends. In some respects Wlad never grew up and a recent wager between friends brought his life crashing […]

Full Story

America’s Newest Super Hero ‘Banana Boy’ Sticks Adam Lambert Over Foreskin Remark

Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Times can be hard for a super hero. There are days when even the most benign activity can turn around and cause difficulties. An example would be singer Adam Lambert recent visit to a dinner party put on to honor America's newest super hero, the yellow-caped Banana Boy.

Full Story

SEAL Team 6 Memoirs Reveals The Photo Of The Mysterious Team Member Who Actually Shot Bin Laden

The Pentagon – (SatireWorld.com) History was re-written today when Cmdr. David Montgomery’s tell all book concerning the successful Navy SEAL Team 6 raid on the Osama Bin Laden compound last year. It seems it was lead by a former president and he’s the one that plugged Bin Laden with a carefully aimed head shot.

Full Story

Newt’s Biggest Regret: Engaging in Intercourse with that woman, Annunciata D’Alesandro!

San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Newt Gingrich wasted no time in replying to threats from Nancy Pelosi, the former speaker of the House, to reveal ‘double secret intelligence’ garnered from illegal phone hacking involving the liberal bashing Presidential Candidate.

Full Story

The Kennedy Legacy: You Pay for The Gift that Keeps on Giving, And Giving, And Giving!

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) As each one of the far flung Kennedy Dynasty passed on, they left a legacy of taxpayer funded shrines that insured a perpetual annuity for survivors, as well as for rabid camp followers that now live pretty high on ‘honorary’ positions for the ‘Non Profits.”

Full Story

NFL Adopts New Football Helmet

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) The NFL saftey committee wrapped up three years of investigative work in researching the next generation of player protective helmets. Due to recurrent injuries to players that resulted in concussions and brain injuries, the committee has found a lighter, more natural-wearing protective device…The players own hair!

Full Story

Grand Ole Opry Performer Under Investigation For Disappearance Of Fiance After Singing “Dead Girlfriends Don’t Get Headaches”

Nashville, TN – (SatireWorld.com) Country Singer J. Dimwitty Philpott is being investigated in the disappearance of his fiance, Thelma Lou Hoskins. Miss Hoskins has not been seen in the past three months, but police only begin considering Philpott a suspect after the release of his latest album. Previously, according to Detective Ron Whitehead, “we didn’t […]

Full Story

New JFK Jr hagiography whitewashes Carolyn Bessette’s heroin addicition

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com)  The coke snorting son of John F Kennedy took a massive gamble marrying the vapid peroxide smack addicted Calvin Klein executive  in what some have described as a knee jerk reaction to six years trysting with Daryl Hannah.

Full Story

Revealed! Marxist Radical Saul Alinsky Bounced Toddler Obama On His Knee

Saul Alinsky died in 1972. He was a Marxist grassroots organizer who spent much of his life organizing rent strikes and protesting conditions of the poor in Chicago in the 1930s. However, unlike Christian socialist and activist for the poor Dorothy Day, Alinsky’s real claim to fame was as strategist for anti-establishment ’60s radicals and […]

Full Story

New Twist For Latest Kennedy Marriage and Run for Office: A Pre-Annulment Agreement from Vatican!

Hyannisport – (SatireWorld.com) Fate continues to raise its ugly head just as beleaguered taxpayers in the Northeast thought they had seen the last of the Kennedy web of intrigue, along comes the 31 year old ginger haired grandson of Robert F. Kennedy following the same old Joe Kennedy playbook funded on more than a wing […]

Full Story

Dealers Refusing To Stock Chevy Volt On Car Lots

Detroit, MI – (SatireWorld.com) Some Chevrolet dealers are turning down Volts that General Motors wants to ship to them, a potential stumbling block as GM looks to accelerate sales of the plug-in hybrid.

Full Story

President Obama Orders Billion Dollar Bail Out Of OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network)

Chicago, IL – (SatireWorld.com) Barack Obama ordered one billion dollars of Federal funds be used to bail out the struggling Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN). The cable channel, which would have failed on its own without the aid of the government, now has the ability to continue operating until after the upcoming election.

Full Story

BBC spied on and harassed Duchess book author who refused Madonna access on copyright grounds

London(UK) – (SatireWorld.com)  Mark Thompson –  Opus Dei harlot and Tony Blair accomplice/BBC director general –  ordered round the clock surveillance of the book’s  author by criminal fraternity detectives  in the pay of Rupert Murdoch a packed Leveson Inquiry courtroom heard today.

Full Story

Oprah Winfrey Buys Playboy Magazine

Jaipur,India – (SatireWorld.com) Oprah Winfrey says she is confident that President Barack Obama will win another four-year term in this year’s U.S. election. She praised the president’s first four years. The OWN talk show host was addressing a literary festival Sunday in the northwestern Indian town of Jaipur where she touted her recent acquisition of […]

Full Story

Study Reveals Obama Has Brought More People To Republican Party Than Anyone Since Reagan

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) A study of voters and political party affiliation by the Houston based Triton foundation revealed that President Barack Obama has brought millions of people (and potential voters) to the Republican Party. These changes in party allegiance are unusual as Mr. Obama is himself a Democrat.

Full Story

Obama On The Campaign Trail After A Hot Disney Kiss

Walt Disney World – (SatireWorld.com) After a smooch from Minnie Mouse and a gentle pat on the back from Mickey, Barack Obama has swung into full re-election campaign mode in January. Though many say he’s never really stopped campaigning since 2008. This time it’s tougher. Before, he simply had no record to run on other […]

Full Story

Mainstream Media Flummoxed as Newt Wins South Carolina Primary

Spartanburg, SC – (SatireWorld.com) Heads over at MSNBC and other elitist media outlets overheated and popped like over-ripe watermelons as the under-funded Gingrich express won the South Carolina primaries in a landslide. Here’s Gingrich’s speech last night.

Full Story

North Korea’s New Leader, Kim Yong Un Sent To His Room Without Supper

North Korea – (SatireWorld.com) The reclusive leaders of North Korea have sent the world’s newest international bad boy, Kim Jong Un, to bed last night without his supper! The action was partially for his belligerant behaviour against the world community and mostly because there's really no food left in the country anyway!

Full Story

Thurlow J. Turdblossom Funeral Held In Mississippi

Dateline: Greasy Knoll, Mississippi – (SatireWorld.com) Thurlow J. Turdblossom, brother of world famous satirist Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, was buried today in Greasy Knoll, Mississippi. Thurlow died due to complications of old age at the age of 97.

Full Story

Shocking Utube Video Shows Mystery Blonde Dancer Entwined with Pole on Bridge as Captain Looks On!

Moldova – (SatireWorld.com) The hits on the Concordia’s captain keep on coming led by Media Outlets around the world that haven’t had their panties in a wad this tight since they drained Silvio Berlusconi’s pool and found the remains of Natalee Holloway!

Full Story

Early Absentee Ballots Counted in Chicago: Vince Foster Still Supports Hillary Despite Mystery Death!

Chicago, IL – (SatireWorld.com) Conspiracy theory pundits are going wild with the news that former Clinton counsel, and alleged paramour of Hillary Clinton, is alive and voting in Chicago along with over 90 other ‘dead’ people close to the Clintons who expired under clouded circumstances!

Full Story

Obama Disney Speech Descends into Chaos As Conjoined Pirate Twins Shout “YOU LIE!”

Walt Disney World,Fl – (SatireWorld.com) It what was intended as a short break to justify his fund raising trips to New York and Detroit for high rollers in the Hollywood Industry, President Obama got more than he bargained for after being called out by a pair of conjoined twins working for minimum wage at the […]

Full Story

Man Offers Sex For McNuggets: Allegedly Propositioned McDonald’s Drive-thru Customers

Burbank, CA – (SatireWorld.com) This couldn’t have been a very happy meal after all and one has to wonder what the surprise gift might have been. Police arrested a man outside a McDonald’s in Burbank, Calif. after he allegedly offered sex to a customer in exchange for his chicken McNuggets, The Burbank Tattler reports.

Full Story