Archive for February, 2012

“The Artist:” Finally a Movie for the Hard of Hearing!

Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Being a shy retiring senior and a dog lover of a certain age I was happy to see the movie industry finally reach out to those of us who have a slight hearing impairment with the award winning “The Artist” which took home a bunch of Chinese Manufactured Statues the other […]

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Karzai Shuts Down all Family Business in Sympathy Protest Against Koran Burning

Kabul, Afghanistan – (SatireWorld.com) Hamid Karzai, CEO and family patriarch of Karzai LLC, president of the wasteland known as Afghanistan, the biggest welfare state in America, announced a shut down of the family’s varied business interests which in effect shut down the entire country.

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Obama S*****s Another Brick as Tesla Motors & Fisker About to Collapse!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) President Obama’s goals to create hybrid electric cars, most with taxpayer funds or with complicit Administration backing, seems to have hit a bump in the road as both Tesla and Fisker continue to struggle with production problems.

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In A Rare Interview Abbott and Costello Talk About US Unemployment Figures

Newark, NJ – (SatireWorld.com) To understand the common man, you really need to talk with the common man…So when talking with Bud Abbott and Lou Costello about today’s unemployment, we figured it couldn’t get anymore common than that. So, with pad and pencil in hand we stopped by Mr. Fields brownstone apartment house to visit […]

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DSK Tweets Silvio After Italian Dodges Another Criminal Bullet: Bunga-Bunga My Ass You Bastard!

Rome, Italy – (SatireWorld.com) While Dominique Strauss-Kahn spends alternating weekends in various French detainment centers, Italy’s Silvio Berlusconi escaped again from ‘Justice’ as Italian courts claim ‘statute of limitations’ had run out after dithering on criminal charges for years!

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Travelers Celebrate at Sacramento Airport as TSA Workers Abandon Post!

Sacramento, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Airport police at the Sacramento Airport also celebrated a complaint and crime free day as a TSA mixup left a boarding gate unattended for several hours.

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Anonymous Claims It Hacked Obama’s Blackberry: Barry Begs Pope for Forgiveness!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The world news media came to a stand still today waiting for the other shoe to drop after infamous hacking group, Anonymous, announced via twitter that they had managed to penetrate President Obama’s highly encrypted Blackberry and were set to publish ‘shocking revelations!”

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Curse of the Kennedys Act 666: RFK son on baby snatch charges

New York,NY – (SatireWorld.com) The tenth-born child of Robert F Kennedy and Ethel Skakel Kennedy is on child endangerment charges after a fracas at New York’s Northern Westchester Hospital.

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20,000 Year Old Spoof/Satire Story Discovered On Cave Wall In France

Cirque d'Estre, France – (SatireWorld.com) On Sunday, December 18, 1994, Jean-Marie Chauvet led his two friends, Brunel and Hillaire, on the Cirque d'Estre toward the far off cliffs. A slight draft of cool air emanating from a small opening at the end of a small cave attracted his attention on a previous trip, and he […]

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Taliban Decapitate Pakistan Baker After After Mohammed’s Image Found On Cupcake

Kabul, Afghanistan – (SatireWorld.Com) The February 12 decapitation of a 70-year-old baker in Landi Kotal, near the Khyber region, by the Taliban, has terrorised the local population and aroused universal condemnation from tribal societies and human rights activists. Except in Washington where President Obama called for an end to making phony images of Mohammed and […]

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Traffic Urged Onto A5 after Giant Hairball Closes A38 and Bristol Airport in UK!

Bristol(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) A near disaster was narrowly averted, it has been reported, after a Bristol man caused the shut down of the Bristol airport and the A38 whilst doing ‘a bit of spring cleaning!”

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Dog Owners Voice Their Anger After Last Tree In The Dog Park Slated To Be Axed

Orlando, FL – (SatireWorld.com) Dog lovers packed county council chambers Tuesday night after a notice went out to residents concerning the County Dog Park. In the mailed notice, the Council advised dog owners that the last remaining oak tree in the Dog Park would be cut down due to a parasite that was weakening the […]

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Pancake Day in Britain Falls Flat as 600 Students Detained for Using Aunt Jemima Racist Mix!

London(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Pancake day, originally kicked off in 1445 when a woman rushed to answer church bells carrying her smoking hot frying pan while flipping her unfinished pancake, had unfortunate overtones yesterday as a horde of students were held on suspicion of violating human rights and multiculturalism laws!

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Obama’s Second Amendment Dislike Backfires As Gun Purchases Increase In Past 3 Years

Washington,DC – (SatireWorld.com) U.S. gun manufacturers would likely not be the first to come to mind when considering industries who have benefited the most during President Obama’s first term, but a recent industry study finds that firearm sales and concealed handgun permit applications are at all-time highs since the 2008 election.

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Hollywood Casts Barack Obama Biopic

Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Hollywood has announced the casting for their Hollywood Biopic of the first black President of the United States. Barack Obama’s life story will be given the Tinsel Town treatment in a big screen adaption of his life, and the film will be released just in time for the 2012 election! (How’s […]

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Necrophilia Outlawed: DWS’s Husband Files for Divorce Claiming “Debbie’s Dead In Bed!”

Broward County, FL – (SatireWorld.com) In a startling legal finding, the State of Illinois has finally outlawed Necrophilia, a new law certain to affect US web dating habits, and already affecting the marital rights of several high profile Democratic husbands.

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As Obama ‘tees it up’ for the Election, UAW and GM Continue to Play A Round with Taxpayer Money!

Detroit, MI – (SatireWorld.com) Flush with record profits and not being subject to federal income tax thanks to a sweet heart deal negotiated with Obama in exchange for campaign contributions and “dead men voting’, the UAW quietly announced they would not be selling their private golf course in order to help pay down their debt […]

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Anti-Hunting Group (SHARK) Loses Anti-hunting Spy Drone To Well Aimed Shots By SC Hunters

Broxton Bridge Plantation, SC – (SatireWorld.com) A remote-controlled aircraft owned and operated by another nitwit animal rights group called SHARK, was reportedly shot down near Broxton Bridge Plantation, South Carolina, on Sunday. The drone was sent up to harrass the hunters and to scare game birds away from what was a legal hunt with licensed […]

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GM Reports $9B in Profits…Taxpayer’s Bailout Share? ZERO!

Detroit, MI – (SatireWorld.com) Government bailout General Motors reported year end earnings figures today. The company made about $9 billion dollars in 2011. How much of its “fair share” is GM paying in taxes? Zero. In fact, from GM’s financial report, they actually received a “benefit” of $110 million for the year. The UAW benefited […]

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Obama Touts First Economic Success: Opium Production Up 61%, Taliban Unemployment Down 15% in Afghanistan!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Ever eager to tout just one economic achievement and to show a profit on just one Government Investment, President Obama called a national press conference to announce to the American Taxpayer, “See, I told you….I am not a LOSER,’ as he crowed over his administration’s success in Afghanistan.

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Matanuska Thunderf**k mid-air top up for Marine One’s Mile High-As-A-Kite Club passenge

California – (SatireWorld.com) It’s rumored to be inspiration behind his ‘Audacity of Dope – the Sequel’ and was caught by NATO spy-in-the-sky satellites monitoring the refuelling of Barack Obama’s re-election pipedreams.

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Portsmouth Man Arrested For Cooking and Eating Neighborhood Cats

Portsmouth(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) In a case that has shocked even harden British investigators, a Portsmouth man is in jail for allegedly cooking and eating neighborhood cats.

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Maxine Waters (D-CA) Earns SatireWorld’s ‘Poop Head-of-the-Week’ Award’

Washington,DC – (SatireWorld.com) Rep. Maxine Waters (D-CA)said banks on Wall Street are “shaking in their boots” at the prospect of her becoming Chairwoman of the House Financial Services Committee. For this, Rep. Waters has earned the coveted Poop Head of-the-Week Award!

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Bubba Banking on Hillary Squeezing into World Bank Chair Despite Her ‘Big Arse Mess’

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Despite denials from the White House and Clinton Staffers, a sure sign of prevarication, odds are on Hillary Clinton to more than fill the seat of Robert Zoellick who announced he would be stepping down from the World Bank in June.

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Blitzkreig! Germany & France Launch Airborne Operations: Invade Greece!

Athens, Greece – (SatireWorld.com) Taking a page from WWII, Germany’s Chancellor Angela Merkel and France’s President, Nicholas Szarkozy launched a ‘pre emptive’ strike on fellow EU member Greece early this morning dubbed “Untemehem Zorba.” ( Operation Zorba) in an effort to prevent the collapse of the Europen Union and it’s failing currency.

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Armed robbery or sadass suicide pact Bogota-style?

Colombia – (SatireWorld.com) It’s a scene straight out of the J Clifford Baxter** school of surreal forensic studies where an inquest upheld a suicide verdict on the Enron executive ‘because of the two bullets found lodged inside his brain’.

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Hindu Writer Claims His Uncles Had Strange Reincarnations

El Paso, TX- (satireWorld.com) Ravi Singh, the Hindu holy man who is currently touring the United States to promote his new book Reincarnations of the Rich and Famous, made some seemingly strange and outlandish claims in an interview done yesterday in Denver. The New Delhi native said in an interview at a Denver Barnes and […]

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After 1400 Years of Islamic Inbreeding…It’s Time Someone Added Chlorine To The Gene Pool

(From an article by Brian Fischer) Nicolai Sennels is a Danish psychologist who has done extensive research into a little-known problem in the Muslim world…the disastrous results of Muslim inbreeding brought about by the marriage of first-cousins.

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Flags At Half Mast In Middle East Following Whitney Houston’s Death

Tehran, Iran – (SatireWorld.com) For the first time in recorded history, the Moslem nations of the middle east (which is basically everybody but Israel) have all lowered their flags to half mast at the death of a woman. Even more surprising is that this is an American woman and a black woman and an entertainer! […]

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‘Don’t Worry Whitney, Heaven Has A Real Longterm Rehab’

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Another self indulgent pop star has found their way to the glamorous nirvana of a self-induced death by an over indulgence of illegal drugs. 48 year old pop star Whitney Houston was found submerged in a hotel bathtub due to an over dose of drugs and alcohol. Following in the […]

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