Archive for March, 2012

Council of Human Rights Takes Up Mouse Infestation Cause; Supermarket Closed Until Company Finds ‘Suitable’ Accommodations!

London(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) The European Council of Human Rights (ECHR) has taken up the cause of a horde of embattled mice facing eviction from England’s biggest super market chain in prestigious Covent Gardens.

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After New Heart Transplant Ex-VP Dick Cheney Ready For Presidential Run

Caspar,WY – (SatireWorld.com) Resting comfortably after a grueling 8 hour heart transplant, 72 year old Dick Cheney says he feels fine and is ready for the next passages in his life. To emphasize his newly-found robustness, the ex-VP bench pressed a 200lb bar bell and slugged down a body building vanilla shake.

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Spike Lee Tweets Trayvon Martin Shooter’s Address….But It’s The Wrong Address!

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Known for ‘Doing the Right Thing,’ unabashed racist film maker Spike Lee made waves on Twitter last week when he re-tweeted to his 200,000 followers (h/t Twitchy) what was thought to be George Zimmerman’s home address in Sanford, Florida. Mr. Zimmerman told Sanford police last month that he fatally shot […]

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NYT Fuels Race Fire Calling Sanford Shooter “White Hispanic!” Half-White African American President Mum On Black Panther Bounty!

New York City, NY – (SatireWorld.com) The NYT has once again shown it’s true colours by further fanning the flames of a tragic shooting in Florida, by labeling the shooter, George Zimmerman, a WHITE HISPANIC, pushing the AP Style Book to the ‘limits of disbelief.’

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Trayvon Martin’s Mother Trademarks His Name In Rush To Cash In On Hoodie-Bucks

Sanford, FL – (SatireWorld.com) Taking a break from unconsolable grief, the mother of Trayvon Martin has filed two applications to secure trademarks containing her late son’s name, Patent Office records show.

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Miss Canada Turns Out To Be A Man! Eligibility Denied In Miss Universe Contest

Port Dover, Canada – (SatireWorld.com) According to Bjorn Davies, Port Dover’s national director of Miss Universe Canada, rules state to participate in a Miss Universe franchise pageant each contestant must be a “naturally born female.” This qualification has knocked Miss Universe Canada finalist Jenna Talackova out of competition.

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Obama and Kim Jong-un Look at Things and Each Other Across Korean Border!

The DMZ Korea – (SatireWorld.com) Standing behind bullet proof teleprompters and wearing a Kevlar reinforced Air Force One leather jacket, President Obama, “The One” stared through binoculars at his nemesis, Kim Jong “UN” across the dangerous DMJ between North and South Korea.

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Obama Visits Korean DMZ-Gets Mooned By North Korean Leader Kim Il Jung

The DMZ in Korea – (SatireWorld.com) President Barack Obama is opening his pitch for faster work to lock down nuclear material that could be used by terrorists while he took an up-close look at the nuclear front lines along the heavily militarized border with volatile North Korea.

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Obama Plucks Yet Another Harvard Academic from Classroom To Redistribute Wealth!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Current Dartmouth College President, and former Harvard professor for Global Health and Social Medicine, Jim Yong Kim, has been named by Obama to head the World Bank which dispenses Billions of Dollars to corrupt regimes, Al Gore’s Green Hedge Funds and Planned Parenthood.

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Springfield Funeral Home Leaves Unburied Body In Basement For Over A Year

Springfield, IL – (SatireWorld.com) A 76-year-old Missouri woman’s corpse was found in a chapel basement and buried on Friday….more than a year after she died and was left waiting for burial payment.

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Outrage in UK as Osborne Slaps Vat on Spotted Dick; Sex Workers Protest!

London(UK)-(SatireWorld.com) Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne caused a firestorm today as he announced he would be imposing a STIFF VAT (Value Added Tax) to all hot SAUSAGE Rolls (NPI), Cornish Pasties, and even the revered SPOTTED DICK*, much favoured amongst the multi-sexual privileged in the House of Commons.

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Turdblossoms Celebrate 60th Wedding Anniversary With Local Celebration

Spinster Holler, AL – (SatireWorld.com) The folks down at Lucinda’s Chat ‘n Chew filled every seat as locals crowded the into the popular Spinster Holler cafe hoping to celebrate along with the Turdblossoms. The party was for their 60th Wedding Anniversay and was held late Monday afternoon.

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Russia Press Reports UFO Debris Found In Siberian Forest

Otradnensky,Siberia – (SatireWorld.com) The 6-foot wide metal cylinder partially made of titanium steel was found near Otradnensky, a village two thousand miles from Moscow. Locals have labeled it as space junk, a UFO fragment, or the fuel tank of an American ballistic missile. The story changes from bar to bar as spirit fortified Siberians exaggerate […]

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Trayvon Martin Killer Dating Casey Anthony

Sanford, FL – (SatireWorld.com) The suspected killer of black teenager Trayvon Martin finally comes out and admits he’s dating Casey Anthony, the mother of 2 year old Caylee Anthony who vanished and was later found dead. Anthony was found not guilty of her murder in a spellbinding televised trial.

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Chu on This! Secretary of Energy Says He Gets “A” for Doubling Gas Prices!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) University of California Graduate, Climate Change Proselytizer and Nobel Prize winner Steven Chu, who doesn’t own a car, told a Congressional hearing that he deserves ‘stellar’ marks for guiding gas prices from $1.85 a gallon to $3.85 during his tenure in the Obama administration.

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“The Banana Split Diet” Newest Craze Sweeping Nation

Morgan City, KS – (SatireWorld.com) Gary Southland never expected his Banana Split Diet to become so popular. In fact, he kind of thought that he would be the only person to try it. However, the success of the Banana Split Diet has people comparing it to Adkins, the Jared Fogle Subway Diet, the Pritkin Plan, […]

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Tub-O-Lard Michael Moore Heckled AT OWS Rally…The $50 Million Dollar Man Loses Face, Then Devours 6 Pizzas

New York City – (SatireWorld.com) Perrenial fat man in a workingman’s clothes, director Michael Moore may sympathize with the 99 percenters who form the group Occupy Wall Street, but he got a bit of a rude reminder that he really isn‘t one of them at a rally in New York city’s Zuccotti Park on Saturday.

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Child Welfare Considers Placing Malia in Foster Care after Parents Send Her on Deadly Mexican Vacation!

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) Child Welfare officials in Washington DC are said to be considering intervening in the parenting of Malia Obama after her parents thoughtlessly sent her off to a potential life threatening spring break trip to Oaxaca Mexico!

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London’s Mayoral Candidate Promises To Turn The City Into…a Muslim Londonstan

London(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Mayoral candidate Ken Livingstone has promised to turn London into a “beacon” for the words of the Prophet Mohammed in a sermon at one of the capital’s most controversial mosques. Later he was quoted as saying, “I promise to rename our fair city London-stan!”

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GE CEO Jeff Immelt Head of Obama’s Job Council Plans To Vote For Romney

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) General Electric CEO Jeff Immelt, the head of President Obama’s Jobs Board, plans to vote for Mitt Romney, says Fox Business reporter Charles Gasparino.

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Black Book Burning Includes Copies of Webster’s Dictionary

Birmingham, AL – (SatireWorld.com) Blacks throughout Alabama have initiated a book burning of the latest tome they consider to be racist. Today, it is copies of all editions of the Miriam Webster dictionary.

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Atlantic Beach SC Names Michelle Obama to Lead Black Bike Week Booty Parade!

Atlantic Beach, SC – (SatireWorld.com) Financially bankrupt, politically corrupt, and dysfunctional Atlantic Beach, SC has pulled out all the stops this year to insure that the annual ‘Black Bike Week’ is not only successful, but finally turns a ‘profit’ by naming the First Couple as Honorary Marshals of the motorcycle festival for 2016.

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Department of Energy Underwrites Firefighting Costs For The Chevy Volt. $4.4 Million Allocated.

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) In a concerted effort to boost flagging sales for the cornerstone automobile of the Greenies, the Obama Administration sought to increase the Chevrolet Volt purchaser tax credit from $7,500 to $10,000. But still, buyers are as scarce as a snow shovel in Miami.

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Is There Something Rotten In Wisconsin Or Is That Just The Cheese?

Democrats and Liberals are keeping very quiet about this expose that has suddenly come to the surface in Wisconson political scene. Is there any wonder why Obama stayed away from Wisconsin on his latest Campaign Tour even though he was right next door? Wisconsin is the last place they want to talk about right now, […]

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Texas Planned Parenthood President Arrested After Publically Exposing Himself

Lubbock, Texas – (SatireWorld.com) Tony Ray Thornton, the President and CEO of the Lubbock, Texas Planned Parenthood affiliate, was released from custody Tuesday morning following his arrest Monday for indecent exposure.

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Nike’s New Sneaker Offering Pisses Off The Irish Just Before St. Patrick’s Day

Dublin, Ireland – (SatireWorld.com) Nike has put its foot squarely in its mouth and just in time for St. Patrick’s Day. Today, Nike released a seasonal sneaker that bears the same name as a British paramilitary force notorious for brutal attacks on civilians in Ireland….The Black and Tan.

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‘11,000 Missiles Ready to Launch’ Says Iran’s Ayatollah Ali Khamenei

Tehran, Iran – (SatireWorld.com) The Iranian newspaper Kayhan reported Thursday that in the first minutes of any American conflict with Iran, “Israel and all U.S. interests around the world will be targeted.”

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Progressive Congressional Hopeful Alan Grayson Runs Red Light and Hits Bus With His ‘1 Percenter’ ‘S’ Series Mercedes-Benz

Orlando, FL – (SatireWorld.com) Former U.S. Rep. Alan Grayson (D-FL) crashed into a Lynx passenger bus in downtown Orlando around noon last Saturday. Grayson was rushing to an upscale fundraising event for his Congressional campaign in his ‘S’ series Mercedes-Benz when he ran through a red light.

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New Website Promises To Have A Real Drunk Call You In The Middle Of The Night For $4.99

Seattle, OR – (SatireWorld.com) Sooner or later it was bound to happen. Dial-A-Drunk has come of age with a new website that promises, for a meager sum of $4.99, to have a certified drunk call you in the middle of the night. Drunkage.com advertises only the best and most funny drunks will call and make […]

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Gay Chinese Couple Die While Attempting ‘Time Travel’ Experiment

Chow Mein City, China – (SatireWorld.com) Two homosexual factory workers in southern China have committed suicide in an attempt to travel back in time. The young men decided to end their lives after one of them lost a remote control to a door and feared the consequences, China Daily reports.

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