Archive for April, 2012

Iranian Rear Admiral Threatens New York City With Iran’s Warships

Tehran, Iran – (SatireWorld.com) The Islamic Republic of Iran said Tuesday that it has the ability to position a naval vessel within three miles of the East Coast of the United States.

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New National Holiday, Star Wars Day, Announced for May 4th By Congress

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The United States Congress has voted that May 4th (which falls on a Friday this year) will become a new National Holiday. This day, to be called Star Wars Day, will be observed as other holidays are, with the closing of banks, schools, post offices, and non-essential Government offices. Other non-essential […]

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Congressman Wants Navy to Name New Ship After Gay Activist

San Diego, CA – (SatireWorld.com) In the land of fruits, nuts, and flaming assholes, a movement to name a US Navy warship after a gay activist has gained momentum after Rep. Bob Filner called on the Navy to name a ship after slain gay rights pioneer Harvey Milk, who served as a Navy officer in […]

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Woe Mart Retains “Barracuda Barrister”; Counter Sues US Over Alleged Bribery Charges in World Court!

Benton, AR – (SatireWorld.com) Woe Mart, the international retail giant with ‘a few business ties to China’, has come under fire after charges of graft, corruption, and bribery surfaced in Mexico over the granting of building permits, causing the company to retain UK Barrister Baroness Regina Montgomery, known in the trade as the “The Barracuda […]

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Florida Hog Hunter Accidently Shoots Girlfriend

Flagler County, FL – (SatireWorld.com) A Florida hunter accidentally shot his girlfriend thinking that she was his target….a wild hog.

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Jackson, Sharpton, Wright Hail Palestinan Decision to Execute Estate Agent Who Sold to Jew!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Appearing on Al Sharpton’s Demagogue Hour on CNN, guests Jesse Jackson and Chicago pastor Jerimiah Wright praised the Palestinian Authority that recently sentenced to death one of their own for selling property to a Jew.

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While AFL-CIO Trumka Makes The Big Bucks..Unions Call For Corporate CEOs To ‘Share the Wealth’

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) In a recent email to union “e-Activists,” AFL-CIO President Richard Trumka encourages union members to visit the Executive PayWatch online site, calling it “your one-stop shop for the most recent information on out-of-control CEO pay and what you can do to stop it.”

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Cancellation of IMDb Daily Poll Causes Rioting, Hunger Strikes, Suicides

Las Cruces,NM – (SatireWorld.com) Late last week, the Internet Movie DataBase (IMDb) stopped placing their daily poll and daily quote/trivia on their homepage on the web. Instead, they told readers that these items could now be found on their Facebook page. Loss of the daily poll, which generally brought about 20,000 voters (world wide) to […]

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Home Secretary Theresa May Calls for Press Conference Yesterday Over Pensioner Accused of Killing 4′ Rat!

London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) A disheveled, dazed and confused Theresa May, the 56 year old MP from Maidenhead (NPI), and the besieged Home Secretary today called for a 3 PM news conference yesterday, to discuss ‘yuman rights as they apply to rats entering the country illegally , posing threats to the populace and being exterminated […]

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Obama Administration To Remove White House Rose Garden and Install Presidential Swimming Pool and Hot Tub

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) The Obama Administration announced that a major remodeling and renovation of the White House grounds will take place this spring and summer. The Rose Garden, a fixture since being planted during the Woodrow Wilson administration, will be removed to install an in-ground fiberglass pool and hot tub. A charcoal grill […]

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Facebook To Take Control Of United States Elections In 2014

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Beginning with the 2014 mid-term elections, Facebook will take over the voting and poll stations in the United States. Instead of voters having to leave their homes and drive to their local school, fire station, city hall, or other building to vote, they will be able to log on to their […]

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Cameron Threatens Argentina after Discovery of 28 Spitfires Buried in Burma Restores British Air Power!

London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Dave Cameron inspired Commons today with a fiery speech promoting the resurgence of British Air Superiority after a recent discovery of 28 perfectly preserved WW II Spitfires buried in Burma at the conclusion of the Great War!

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France’s Sarkozy Invokes EU Law Against ‘Dwarf Tossing’ in Bid to Maintain Power!

Paris, France – (SatireWorld.com) Diminutive French President Nicholas Sarkozy, behind in the polls and threatened with being the first one term president since 1981, called on the Council of Ministers in Brussels to enforce their rules against ‘Dwarf Tossing’ as he struggles to win re election.

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With Obama Recently Taking Credit For Eating A Dog…DNC Leader Debbie Wasserman-Schultz Is Now Avoiding The Oval Office At Lunchtime

Democratic Committe National Headquarters – (SatireWorld.com) Since recent revelations in the press have disclosed President Barack Obama’s penchant for tasty dog meat, there has been a noticeable absence of staff at scheduled luncheon meetings in the Oval Office.

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Obama Admits To Eating Lassie

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Ever the politiocian to capitalize on a controversial subject, Barack Obama met today with the Dog Meat Eaters of America and gave them a lesson on the best cuts to eat.

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New Twist in Columbia Hooker Scandal: Escort Now Claims Hillary ‘stiffed me!”

The State Department – (SatireWorld.com) The Columbian Hookergate Scandal refuses to go away, as yet more Escorts come out from under the desk complaining about ‘getting stiffed’ by members of the President’s Secret Service and the investigation is now focusing on Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and her ‘Pants Suit Posse!”

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Senate Approves Yosemite National Park-Disney Amusement Parks Deal

Yosemite Park – (SatireWorld.com) The US Senate approved, and the President is expected to sign, a landmark deal where popular national parks partner with successful private business ventures. Touted as a landmark in of itself, the deal will provide the US treasury with sorely needed funds and provide needed jobs in a slowly recovering economy.

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Romney Claims ‘Obama Eats Dogs’…. President’s Own Autobiography Confirms The Statement

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) For the first time, the Mitt Romney campaign is fighting back in the War on Dogs. An excerpt from President Barack Obama’s bestselling memoir “Dreams From My Father,” in which Obama writes of eating dog meat when he was a little boy in Indonesia has confirmed Romney’s charges.

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Michelle Likens Barry to Thomas Edison and 2nd Coming: He’s Brought Light Into the World!”

Greenwich, Connecticut – (SatireWorld.com) Michelle Obama in a fund raising speech at a $100,000 vegetarian buffet in Greenwich, Connecticut, where she hosted a horde of stay at home Hedge Fund Wives and Mistresses,(HFWMs) deified her husband as the next coming and the world’s savior, saying ‘he is the Light, and his word is the Way! […]

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Kim Jung Un Sets July 4th for New Rocket Launch: Jimmy Carter to Light Fuse!

Rocket City, North Korea – (SatireWorld.com) Brushing off the recent advancement in North Korean inter-gallactical space travel after their transporter failed to launch, beloved leader Kim Jung announced today he’d try again on July 4th of this year and guaranteed a successful lift off.

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Thousands Lineup In New York City Looking For ‘Free Money From Obama’

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) In the fall of 2009 thousands turned out in Detroit, Michigan to try and get free ‘Obama money,’ the rumor sent thousands scurrying looking for the promised windfall as a ‘thank you’ for their efforts in electing Barack Obama in 2008. Well, it’s happened again — but this time […]

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Kim Jung Un Vows to Fight Obesity in North Korea: Turns Down 240M Happy Meals from UN!

Pyongyang, North Korea – (SatireWorld.com) North Korea’s new reverend leader, Kim Jung Un, appeared in Pyongyang Square in honor of Kim Il Sun’s (RIP) 100th birthday and took the opportunity to opine as he looked at things from his own perspective while reviewing all 1.2M men and women in the standing army as they goose […]

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‘Over 150 Survivors Were Trapped Inside The Titanic For Up To 5 Years,’ Claims Naval Expert

Woods Hole, MA – (SatireWorld.com) After reviewing almost 5,000 digital photographs taken from inside the sunken luxury liner the Titanic, a Woods Hole scientist has concluded that there were survivors who lived inside the ship for up to five years after it slipped beneath the waves on April 14th, 1912.

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9 out of 10 Brits Think “Titantic” and “The Longest Day” Were Just Made Up Flicks!

Portsmouth (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) In a shocking street poll conducted through out Britain by volunteer Satire World stringers, 90% of those polled were gobsmacked to find out that “Titanic” was a real ship sunk by an iceberg, and that ” The Longest Day, ” which depicted the allies invasion of Normandy during WWII was based […]

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“Obama Advance Team on ‘Secret Servicing’ Not So Secret Anymore” Bill Clinton Laments!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) A recent confrontation in Columbia between Obama’s Advance Team over the exchange rate for personal presidential services has revealed a long standing “perk’ instituted by former President and skirt chaser Bill Clinton.

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DWS Appears on “Hardball” with Chris Matthews after Ironing out a ‘few kinks!”

Palm Beach, FL – (SatireWorld.com) Democratic National Charwoman Debbie WasherWoman (sic) Schultz is crediting Satire World for her long over due make over which critics say has turned her into “Miss Piggy” from an unappetizing Wart Hog!

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The Best Obituary A Man Could Want….

Michael “Flathead” Blanchard Blanchard, Michael “Flathead” 1944 ~ 2012 A Celebration of the life of Michael “Flathead” Blanchard will be held on April 14th, 3 pm 8160 Rosemary St, Commerce City. Weary of reading obituaries noting someone’s courageous battle with death, Mike wanted it known that he died as a result of being stubborn, refusing […]

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Homeless Man Rakes In Thousands Of Dollars In One Day By Panhandling

Newark, NJ – (SatireWorld.com) Elroy Smites was down on his luck ever since the Vulcan rubber factory closed in late 2006. Homeless, destitute, and seemingly without a future, Elroy took to panhandling on the mean Newark streets as his only source of income.

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The Nation’s Stupidest Congresswoman Gets Her ‘Trayvon On’

Miami, FL – (SatireWorld.com) Rep. Frederica Wilson (D-Fla.) on Wednesday welcomed the news that George Zimmerman was finally arrested, 45 days after he shot and killed Trayvon Martin in Florida, but continued to blame racial profiling as a cause of Martin’s death, and called for a broad discussion on this issue to avoid future tragedies.

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120 Killed in Chicago in 3 Months. Obama: “They All Looked Like My Sons!”

Chicago, IL – (SatireWorld.com) While Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson continue to rile up racists saying blacks are being targeted by whites, blacks continue to kill each other at a record pace in ChicagoLand, home of the first half white President.

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