Archive for May, 2012
Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, My sister has done gone California tree hugging Vegan weirdo on us. Last week, she tried to say that microwaves ruin the DNA of water. I didn’t think water had any DNA unless there was critters in it.
Full StoryCher Mad Chaz/Chastity Left The Seat Up When He/She Came To Visit For Mother’s Day
Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Singer, actress, and Hollywood personality Cher is upset that her daughter/son Chasity/Chaz Bono left the seat up whe he/she came to visit Mom on Mother’s Day. The entertainer admits to sitting down “farther than I anticipated” and getting her bottom more than a little soaked.
Full StoryObamacare Offers Free Female Genital Mutilation To Preserve Chastity
Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Civil libertarians have questioned the recent Obama Administration’s support of a provision in Obamacare where large medical convoys organized by the Democratic party wander through rural America performing free medical examinations and procedures on people, including female circumcision, or female genital mutilation, in violation of US law, conventions and treaties signed [...]
Full StoryScapolamine , Not George Bush, Blamed as Reason for World’s Financial/ Social Meltdown!
Bogota, Columbia – (SatireWorld.com) Reports out of Bogota, Columbia, now affirm that the social and financial morass rampant around the globe was not the fault of George Bush After all!
Full StoryTravolta on Tom Cruise: He’s a Nice Boy, But He Just Rubs Me the Wrong Way!
Hollywood,CA – (SatireWorld.com) Turmoil in the dark halls and secret closets of Scientology today after it was disclosed that two of the cult’s biggest stars , “Tiny Tom” Cruise, and “Big John” Travolta experienced a great deal of “friction” in their long running relationship with the mysterious group and each other.
Full StoryElizabeth Warren Assails Scotland Yard over “Red List” replacing “Black List” for “Sensitivity Reasons!”
Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Embattled Senate Candidate Elizabeth Warren, still digging her own grave concerning her alleged Native American roots, doubled down over Scotland Yards new ‘sensitivity policy’ requiring that the terms ‘Black List” and ‘White List’ be struck down in order to promote racial harmony.
Full StoryCanadian Conundrum Continues in Gender “Box” Identification Confusion!
Port Dover, Canada – (SatireWorld.com) The Canadian government admitted today that they are stumped over how to classify an influx of EU citizens flooding the country over fears of unrest, anarchy, crimes against nature, sodomy, football (soccer) riots, high taxes, not to mention political correctness and ‘uman rights!
Full StoryUK’s ‘The Spoof’ Suffers Through 3 Month Decline in Readership
(SatireWorld.com) After readership has gone up and down more times than Oprah’s dress size, the once popular British website, ‘the Spoof’ has nosedived in reader popularity in recent months…In fact, it readership has dipped an astounding 8% this month alone!
Full StoryThrockmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, The latest sign of the end of human civilization on this planet:
Full StoryAfter Reading Facebook Valued At $95 Billion, Internet Inventor Al Gore Sues For Unpaid Royalties
Oakridge, TN – (SatireWorld.com) Former United States Vice President and Internet inventor Al Gore filed a lawsuit today in Federal Court against Facebook. Gore claims that the social networking giant, which was recently valued at $95 billion, has never paid him the 2% royalty that he should be receiving.
Full StoryStop Me if You’ve Heard This One: a Dwarf, A Commie and a Neo Nazi Run for President in France….What Could Go Wrong?
Paris, France – (SatireWorld.com) Following France’s Presidential election one thing is most certainly clear; the European Union is doomed, and what’s left of the bankrupt fragile coalition will most certainly go down in flames as riots erupt across the continent this summer.
Full StoryElizabeth Warren: My Tight Cheeks Not from Lyposuction!
Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Taking a page from General Custer, Mass-hole Senate wannabe Elizabeth Warren tried to circle her wagons after she was outed over her claims she was a minority Indian Maiden which afforded her special affirmative action perks during her rise to the 1%.
Full StoryThrockmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I got me a problem in school. I got an “F” on my spelling test and am gonna get in real trouble when my momma sees the paper.
Full Story5,000 Moslems in England To Move To Falkland Islands
London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Slightly over 5000 British Moslems, most of whom were born in the Middle East, have announced plans to relocate to the Falkland Islands. As the current population of the Falklands is less than 3200, this will give the area a new look and a new majority culture.
Full StoryObama’s New Campaign Slogan…. Forward! (But looking back…who is this guy?)
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) After being shown on just about all media outlets, most have heard of the Obama campaign’s new slogan…’Forward.’ Most noteworthy is the dubious scrubbing of all references to the Marxist origins of the new slogan on its Wikipedia entry. This has raised eyebrows once again about Obama’s true socialist leanings.
Full StoryChicago NATO Meet: Evac Plans Ready, No Fly Zone, Martial Law, Secret Service Vetts Hookers!
Obamaland, IL – (SatireWorld.com) Downtown Chicago, including Lake Shore Drive, is preparing to defend itself against ugly demonstrations planned by the Taliban and OWS activists during the May 1-21 Obama/NATO Fundraiser hosted by Hussein Obama at the $1m a plate dinner to be held in the Empire Room of the famous Drake Hotel.
Full StoryNew Election Ad of Obama Posing with OBL Body Parts Goes Viral!
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The DNC launched a new, and some say controversial, election ad showing a battle fatigued clothed Barry Obama posing with the dismembered body parts of Osama Bin Laden.
Full StoryLindsay Lohan Gets Access to Medicine Cabinet in Super Secret Presidential War Room!
The White House – (SatireWorld.com) In keeping with President Obama’s pledge for “Transparency”, it was announced that Lindsay Lohan was the latest Hollywood ‘celebrity’ to get access to the formerly super secret “Situation Room” at the White House.
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