Archive for June, 2012

Katie Holmes Files For Divorce From Tom Cruise Over Suri’s Brainwashing

Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Katie Holmes stated in a public press conference that the reason she filed for divorce after her six year marriage to Tom Cruise was “mostly because of his religion and the brainwashing they are giving our daughter.” The couple became a Hollywood item after a 42 year old Tom Cruise decided […]

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Cruise Divorce Shocker: Suri Wants ‘out’, Travolta ‘mum’, Katie ‘numb!’

Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Hollywood was in shock today as it was announced the ‘fairy tale’ marriage of Tom Cruise, the world’s shortest leading man since Alan Ladd, and the world’s most insipid woman, Katie Holmes, was about to end in divorce as 6 year old Suri, the little devil who wears Prada, was calling […]

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Obama Lied! Joe Wilson Vindicated After Massive ObamaCare Deception Finally Exposed!

Spartanburg, SC – (SatireWorld.com) Probably the most courageous and perceptive off all elected officials, Congressman Joe Wilson, (R-SC), was right on the merits when he yelled ‘you lie’ in a joint meeting of congress during President Obama’s audacious defense of his sweeping mandated Health Care plan for America in 2009.

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Another Obama Solar Company Files For Bankruptcy After Receiving $400 Million Dollar Government Loan

Boulder, CO – (SatireWorld.com) Yes, another government supported endless hole-in-the-ground files for bankruptcy! Abound Solar, a Colorado thin-film photovoltaic panel startup that snagged $400 million in federal loan guarantees to take on industry leader First Solar, is shutting down and filing for bankruptcy, according to the U.S. Department of Energy.

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Casey Anthony Offered Babysitting Job For Octomom’s 14 Children

Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) As a condition of her parole and pending release from home confinement, Casey Anthony has acknowledged the reports of a possible job offer from Nadya Suleman, AKA The Octomom who has 14 children all under the age of 7.

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Olympic Organizers Busk On London’s Tube

Olympic Organizers Busk On London’s Tube

London(UK) – The organizers of the London Olympics have taken to busking for spare change on London’s transport system in what is thought to be a bid to make back some of the money which has been spent on the Games so far. In an unprecedented move from members of Olympic committee, extreme lengths have […]

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Sports Illustrated Model Kate Upton’s First Training Bra For Sale On eBay

London, England – (SatireWorld.com) SatireWorld reports that a personal item of a well known Sports Illustrated model has found its way on the popular auction site eBay and in past days all bidding has gone thru the roof.

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Victory in Egypt for Muslim Brotherhood Credited to Muslim Sisterhood and Huma Abedin Weiner!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The incredible scheming and disingenuous President of the United States today tipped his hat while bowing to Egypt’s new president Mohammed Morsi* welcoming his ‘continued efforts in democracy.’

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Sandusky Family To Market “Jerry-Tool” To Pay Legal Defense Fees

Harrisburg, PA – (SatireWorld.com) In order to pay continually growing legal fees, the family of Jerry Sandusky has announced that they will begin marketing a new product. “Jerry-Tool,” a sexual lubricant, will be sold in adult book stores and adult video retailers across the United States and Canada and to sheep ranchers and Moslems in […]

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Jerry Sandusky’s Anal Plug Request Denied After Judge Reads Sentence

Harrisburg, PA – (SatireWorld.com) Judge Marvin Hayes denied an anal plug request for recently convicted child molester Jerry Sandusky submitted by his defense team upon sentencing. Sandusky’s conviction of 45 counts of serial child molestation requires him to spend the rest of his life behind bars in a maxiumum security prison.

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London Announces Plan To Fund Olympics By Having Pippa Middleton Mud Wrestle Against Ivana Phuque

London(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) The London Olympics, which are currently running a deficit of hundreds of millions of Euros, may soon be profitable. The London Olympic Organizing Committee has announced plans for a special, pay per view event to be held one week before the Opening Ceremonies. That night, Pippa “the ass” Middleton will mud wrestle […]

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Lawyers Advise Jerry Sandusky Not To Wear Michael Jackson Fan Club T-Shirt To Sentencing

Harrisburg, PA – (SatireWorld.com) Lawyers on the defense team of former Penn State Football Coach Jerry Sandusky have advised the accused child rapist/molester not to wear his Michael Jackson Fan Club t-shirt to his sentencing or to any more court appearances. Sandusky is currently awaiting a verdict on 48 counts of rape and child molestation […]

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Elizabeth ‘Pocahontas’ Warren Blames Republicans For Her Faked Indian Heritage Claims

..The Boston Herald (SatireWorld.com) On their first day in the Hub, a group of Cherokees hoping to confront Elizabeth Warren over her Native American heritage claims blasted the Democrat for trying to dismiss the ancestry controversy as a non-issue in the Bay State U.S. Senate race.

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Despite Requests, IOC Will Not Add Quidditch To London Olympic Games

London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Quidditch will not be added to the 2012 Summer Olympic Games as either a regular, medal or as an exhibition sport. Despite millions of requests by Harry Potter fans, the International Olympic Committee has decided that the sport created by J.K. Rowling will not be played in London this summer as […]

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Canadian Airport Lockdown as Burqa Clad Bieber Jumps Selena in Emotional Reunion!

Toronto, Canada – (SatireWorld.com) Canadian officials at Toronto International airport were startled when a pint sized intruder burst through an arrival gate shouting ‘Baby, Baby, Baby’ whilst wearing what appeared to be an Italian table cloth from a local take away!

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Mexico Distillery Promises To Use Giant Worm To Make World’s Largest Bottle of Mescal

Juarez, Mexico – (SatireWorld.com) A Mexican distillery in Oaxaca has promised to make the world’s largest bottle of Mescal after obtaining the corpse of the world’s largest worm. Artie, the grandson of Jeff the Subway worm from Men in Black II, was recently killed in a subway collision and his body will be preserved in […]

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Lindsay Lohan Found Unconscious in California Hotel Room….Brain Reported Missing!

Marina Del Mar, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Another disaster for America’s favorite tragedy-ready-to-happen? SatireWorld reports that the Lohan was found in the penthouse of the Ritz-Carlton in Marina del Rey before paramedics were reportedly called at 10:15 AM and the actress was transported to a nearby hospital.

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Let the Leaks Continue: Obama Stands Behind Choice of Iraq Ambassador Who Traded Sex for ‘Access.’

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Continuing with his pig headed stubbornness, current President Barack Hussein Obama, who can’t keep a secret if his re-election is involved, stood behind his nomination for Iraq Ambassador despite confirmed inappropriate behaviour while serving as chief of Iraq Security Arrangements in 2008.

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Olympic Torch Procession Stalled In London Outskirts Due To Unforseen Circumstances

London(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) The British Olympic Committee has vowed never to use beloved physicist Stephen Hawkings again to promote the British Olympics due to the unforseen problems he had while delivering the Olympic Torch to the 2012 London games.

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Satire World Investigation: Obama Surrounded with Defective ‘Drones’ He Can’t Get off the Ground!

SAtireWorld Headquarters… Crack investigative journalists from Satire World are now able to reveal that the penchant of current President Obama to appoint Czars in order to institute his ‘new world order’ and circumvent Congress and the common sense of the American people hasn’t gotten off the ground!

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Administration ‘going to pot’ as Secretary of Commerce Involved in 3 Accidents While ‘Chooming!”

The Obama administration is “circling the wagons’, as Elizabeth Warren would say, after the latest public disaster in the form of a cabinet head who may have been high on ‘weed’ caused 3 hit and run accidents in….California?

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Clinton: Obama Sleeping on the Job & Economy Traced to African Tryanosomiasis!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Obama surrogate and close political advisor Bill Clinton told supporters at a rally in Arkansas that the President shouldn’t be blamed for the last three and a half years of declining moral and economic values in the United States saying, “The man is sick….it’s not his fault…he’s asleep on his feet!”

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Magic Frame Company Hacked By Spammers and Porn Sites

Denver, CO – (SatireWorld.com) Magicframe.com is currently marketing their product for Father’s Day. Their featured item is a picture frame that, connected through wifi, receives and displays pictures from loved ones. The manufacturer is currently heavily marketing the item for Father’s Day for a cost of about $90 (“three easy payments of $29.95”).

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Millions Of Iranians Fall Victim To Pepsi-Cola Moon Hoax

Tehran, Iran – (SatireWorld.com) Millions Iranians of flocked to their roofs on Tuesday to see Pepsi Cola go where no soda had gone before… space. The Russia Times reports false rumors had been circling around Iranian social networks and Iranian websites for days claiming that the Pepsi Cola Company was planning on using high powered […]

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With Poll Numbers Tanking,VP Biden Re-Creates Bin Laden Raid For White House Press Corp

Washington, DC- (SatireWorld.com) In an effort to keep the successful US Navy SEAL-Bin Laden raid fresh in the minds of voters, Vice President Joe Biden put on a ‘realistic’ display of how SEAL Team Six successfully negotiated Pakistani air space and breeched the secure walls of the Bin Laden compound rersulting in the death of […]

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Obama Administration Announces Goal Of ‘100% Of Americans Now On Food Stamps’

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The vast majority of federal spending in the Senate farm bill, which is estimated to cost over $100 billion annually, is going toward food stamps, representing a 100 percent increase since President Barack Obama took office, according to Alabama Republican Sen. Jeff Sessions.

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White House Says Republicans and Constitutionalists Not Ideologically Suited To Be Border Patrol Agents

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) An announcement from the White House today surprised few when the Obama Administration stated that Republicans, Conservatives, Tea Party Members, Libertarians, and Constitutionalists were not ideologically suited to be Border Patrol Agents or work for U.S. Customs. The policy statement may be the Administration’s official reaction to the belief by employees […]

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Wisconson Democrats Hampered As 2012 Electile Dysfunction Spreads

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Webster’s Dictionary recently added a new phrase that pretty much sums up the problems faced the Wisconson Democratic Party today as the 2012 elections roll ever closer. Eloquently said, the new phrase has captured the imagination of conservative pundits as the predominate adjective used most often on television to describe the […]

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John McCain Denies ‘Walking Dead’ Label

Prescott, AZ – (SatireWorld.com) In perhaps the weirdest twist to an already strange story, Arizona senior Senator John McCain says his daughter Meagan ‘McMuffin’ McCain has accused him of being a ‘zombie.’

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After Numerous Cannibal Attacks, The Center for Disease Control Issues A Zombie Alert

Atlanta, GA – (SatireWorld.com) The world’s leading research and communicable disease control center (CDC) located in Atlanta, Georgia has issued its first ever Zombie Alert, advising citizens to be prepared and have ample stocks and supplies on hand in the event of a zombie breakout.

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