Archive for June, 2012
Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I remember when I was a little boy, we did a moon launch and put a whole bunch of astronauts on the moon. Then we put up the Skylab space station and landed probes on Mars and sent Voyager out to space to fly past lots of planets and had the [...]
Full StoryKatie Holmes Files For Divorce From Tom Cruise Over Suri’s Brainwashing
Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Katie Holmes stated in a public press conference that the reason she filed for divorce after her six year marriage to Tom Cruise was “mostly because of his religion and the brainwashing they are giving our daughter.” The couple became a Hollywood item after a 42 year old Tom Cruise decided [...]
Full StoryCruise Divorce Shocker: Suri Wants ‘out’, Travolta ‘mum’, Katie ‘numb!’
Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Hollywood was in shock today as it was announced the ‘fairy tale’ marriage of Tom Cruise, the world’s shortest leading man since Alan Ladd, and the world’s most insipid woman, Katie Holmes, was about to end in divorce as 6 year old Suri, the little devil who wears Prada, was calling [...]
Full StoryObama Lied! Joe Wilson Vindicated After Massive ObamaCare Deception Finally Exposed!
Spartanburg, SC – (SatireWorld.com) Probably the most courageous and perceptive off all elected officials, Congressman Joe Wilson, (R-SC), was right on the merits when he yelled ‘you lie’ in a joint meeting of congress during President Obama’s audacious defense of his sweeping mandated Health Care plan for America in 2009.
Full StoryAnother Obama Solar Company Files For Bankruptcy After Receiving $400 Million Dollar Government Loan
Boulder, CO – (SatireWorld.com) Yes, another government supported endless hole-in-the-ground files for bankruptcy! Abound Solar, a Colorado thin-film photovoltaic panel startup that snagged $400 million in federal loan guarantees to take on industry leader First Solar, is shutting down and filing for bankruptcy, according to the U.S. Department of Energy.
Full StoryCasey Anthony Offered Babysitting Job For Octomom’s 14 Children
Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) As a condition of her parole and pending release from home confinement, Casey Anthony has acknowledged the reports of a possible job offer from Nadya Suleman, AKA The Octomom who has 14 children all under the age of 7.
Full StoryOlympic Organizers Busk On London’s Tube
London(UK) – The organizers of the London Olympics have taken to busking for spare change on London’s transport system in what is thought to be a bid to make back some of the money which has been spent on the Games so far. In an unprecedented move from members of Olympic committee, extreme lengths have [...]
Full StorySports Illustrated Model Kate Upton’s First Training Bra For Sale On Ebay
London, England – (SatireWorld.com) SatireWorld reports that a personal item of a well known Sports Illustrated model has found its way on the popular auction site eBay and in past days all bidding has gone thru the roof.
Full StoryVictory in Egypt for Muslim Brotherhood Credited to Muslim Sisterhood and Huma Abedin Weiner!
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The incredible scheming and disingenuous President of the United States today tipped his hat while bowing to Egypt’s new president Mohammed Morsi* welcoming his ‘continued efforts in democracy.’
Full StorySandusky Family To Market “Jerry-Tool” To Pay Legal Defense Fees
Harrisburg, PA – (SatireWorld.com) In order to pay continually growing legal fees, the family of Jerry Sandusky has announced that they will begin marketing a new product. “Jerry-Tool,” a sexual lubricant, will be sold in adult book stores and adult video retailers across the United States and Canada and to sheep ranchers and Moslems in [...]
Full StoryJerry Sandusky’s Anal Plug Request Denied After Judge Reads Sentence
Harrisburg, PA – (SatireWorld.com) Judge Marvin Hayes denied an anal plug request for recently convicted child molester Jerry Sandusky submitted by his defense team upon sentencing. Sandusky’s conviction of 45 counts of serial child molestation requires him to spend the rest of his life behind bars in a maxiumum security prison.
Full StoryLondon Announces Plan To Fund Olympics By Having Pippa Middleton Mud Wrestle Against Ivana Phuque
London(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) The London Olympics, which are currently running a deficit of hundreds of millions of Euros, may soon be profitable. The London Olympic Organizing Committee has announced plans for a special, pay per view event to be held one week before the Opening Ceremonies. That night, Pippa “the ass” Middleton will mud wrestle [...]
Full StoryThrockmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, Now that they have decided to have a four team playoff for the NCAA football championship, do you think they are going to open it up to everybody?
Full StoryLawyers Advise Jerry Sandusky Not To Wear Michael Jackson Fan Club T-Shirt To Sentencing
Harrisburg, PA – (SatireWorld.com) Lawyers on the defense team of former Penn State Football Coach Jerry Sandusky have advised the accused child rapist/molester not to wear his Michael Jackson Fan Club t-shirt to his sentencing or to any more court appearances. Sandusky is currently awaiting a verdict on 48 counts of rape and child molestation [...]
Full StoryElizabeth ‘Pocahontas’ Warren Blames Republicans For Her Faked Indian Heritage Claims
..The Boston Herald (SatireWorld.com) On their first day in the Hub, a group of Cherokees hoping to confront Elizabeth Warren over her Native American heritage claims blasted the Democrat for trying to dismiss the ancestry controversy as a non-issue in the Bay State U.S. Senate race.
Full StoryThrockmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I got me a question about a product at the store. I know that regular cheese is made from milk from cows and that goat cheese comes from goat’s milk and that American cheese is really fake cheese (made out of vegetable oil), but what about “Cheese Whiz?” Is it made out [...]
Full StoryDespite Requests, IOC Will Not Add Quidditch To London Olympic Games
London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Quidditch will not be added to the 2012 Summer Olympic Games as either a regular, medal or as an exhibition sport. Despite millions of requests by Harry Potter fans, the International Olympic Committee has decided that the sport created by J.K. Rowling will not be played in London this summer as [...]
Full StoryCanadian Airport Lockdown as Burqa Clad Bieber Jumps Selena in Emotional Reunion!
Toronto, Canada – (SatireWorld.com) Canadian officials at Toronto International airport were startled when a pint sized intruder burst through an arrival gate shouting ‘Baby, Baby, Baby’ whilst wearing what appeared to be an Italian table cloth from a local take away!
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