Archive for July, 2012

Elizabeth ‘Fauxcohantos’ Warren To Open DNC Convention

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Massachusetts Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren announced late Monday that she is slated to open for former President Bill Clinton at this summer’s Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia.

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Chicago….America’s Own Baghdad and Kabul Rolled Into One

Chicago, IL – (SatireWorld.com) Forty Six. That was the score this weekend in Chicago. 46 shot (actual puncture wounds) nine dead, Chicago stopped counting graze wounds and only counts actual bullet holes now, you don’t count if you get your nose or ear shot off. Chicago is also a city three quarters of which is […]

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Convicted Pedophiles Sue High School Carwash Groups

St. Louis, MO – (SatireWorld.com) Eleven convicted pedophiles from the Missouri State Prison have filed a lawsuit in a St. Louis court against several high schools. They allege that the carwashes put on by the school cheerleaders, band, softball team, volleyball team, and other groups pose a clear and present danger to men and are […]

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Other Directors Admit They Also Slept With Kristen Stewart And Knew About Her Father Issues

Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Recent allegations have surfaced that actress Kristen Stewart had an affair with the married director (Rupert Sanders, a man in his 40’s) of her film “Snow White and the Huntsman.” Several other directors of movies, both male and female, have also admitted to having sexual relations with the young starlet (22 […]

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Penn State’s Joe Paterno Statue Removed and Shipped To Boys Town

Pennsylvania State University – (SatireWorld.com) After months of embarassing revelations of longterm sexual abuse by coach Jerry Sandusky and a cover-up by Penn State’s football coach, the trustees voted to have the bronze statue of coach Joe Paterno removed from the Penn Statefootball stadium. Protests by alumni and fans stopped the planned scraping of the […]

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Code Pink To Protest At The RNC In Tampa…Local Health Officials Placed On Alert!

Tampa, FL – (SatireWorld.com) The motely crew of the fringe woman’s movement ‘Code Pink’has put out the call to ‘demonstrate with your vagina’ at the Republican National Convention in Tampa, Florida. Code Pink is offering an air conditioned bus ride from major cities along the east coast in order to have a turn out that […]

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Obama and NCAA Celebrate Sanctions Against Bend Over U! (Penn State)

Penn State-land – (SatireWorld.com) Mark Emmert, Chairman of the NCAA Executive Committee, today announced sanctions against Penn State as a result of the conviction of former Defensive Football Coach Jerry Sandusky in a multitude of sexual abuse cases. The sanctions while not resulting in the ‘death penalty’, did constitute Life in Prison mired in Division […]

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Obama Now Attacks Mitt Romney’s First Name

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) A desperate Barack Obama has resorted to elementary school playground tactics by attacking the name of Mitt Romney. In a speech given at a Black Panthers “Keep the Whitey from Voting” Rally in Philadephia, the President made insulting remarks about his opponent.

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Romneys Volunteer To Be On Kiss-Cams After Michelle Snubs Presidential Hubby Barack

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) In the aftermath of Kiss-cam-Gate, Mitt Romney has volunteered to be filmed with his wife at all possible sporting events from now until the November elections.

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Perhaps Mitt Romney Is The Real ‘Hope and Change’ For America

SatireWorld.com After almost four years of lackluster performance from the man who unquestionably is the least qualified American President since Andrew Johnson, one can wish that the real Hope and Change comes about this November with the election of a man that truly is qualified to run a country.

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Obama Campaign Recent PAC Ad Star Now Says….”Obama’s Really is a Lying Douchebag”

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The star of a recent swing state Obama campaign ad attack against Mitt Romney and Bain Capital is now on the attack against President Barack Obama who he referrs to as a ‘real jerkoff lying douchebag.’

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Boy Scouts Reaffirm….’No Gays Allowed!’

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) After a confidential two-year review, the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) on Tuesday reaffirmed its policy of excluding gays, angering homosexual supporters who hoped that relentless protest campaigns might lead to change. According to gay activist Marvin Lipshitz, “Well, that sucks a big weiner doesn’t it!” The BSA wasn’t sure […]

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Michelle Obama: “Please Vote For My Husband!”

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) Dear American Taxpayer, For only the second time in my adult life, I am not ashamed of my country. I want to thank the hard working American people for paying $242 thousand dollars for my recent vacation in Spain. My daughter Sasha, several long-time family friends, my personal staff, Mom […]

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How Liberals Plan On Taking Down the Second Amendment With The Help Of Eric Holder and Trevor Martin

Via: The American Thinker Jeff Lipkes Very soon after his 2009 inauguration, Barack Obama decided to move ahead with plans to use the horrific number of deaths in the Mexican drug wars as a pretext for new gun control laws. On March 26, 2009 Attorney General Eric Holder proposed ban on ‘assault weapons’ in order […]

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Kennedy Tradition Still Alive After Kerry Kennedy Leaves Accident Scene

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) New questions are being raised about the sleeping pill Ambien after Kerry Kennedy, the ex-wife of New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, may have been under the influence of the sleeping aid when she was involved in a crash with a tractor-trailer on a New York highway and left the scene. […]

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Tax the Rich??? Obama Aides Owe The IRS Over $833,00 In Back Taxes!

VIA: Investor.com Andrew Malcom How embarrassing this must be for President Obama, whose major speech theme so far this campaign season has been that every single American, no matter how rich, should pay their “fair share” of taxes.

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Hillary Clinton’s Motorcade Hit With Tomatos and Shoes During Egypt Visit

Cairo, Egypt- (SatireWorld.com) Protesters threw tomatoes and shoes at U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s motorcade on Sunday during her first visit to Egypt since the election of Islamist President Mohamed Mursi. A tomato struck an Egyptian official in the face, and shoes and a water bottle landed near the armoured cars carrying Clinton’s delegation […]

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New Report: A Majority of Illegal Immigrant Households Collecting Welfare

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Census Bureau data reveals that most U.S. families headed by illegal immigrants use taxpayer-funded welfare programs on behalf of their American-born anchor babies.Even before the recession, immigrant households with children used welfare programs at consistently higher rates than natives, according to the extensive census data collected and analyzed by a nonpartisanWashington […]

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“Nine Reasons Why Me, Your President, Hates Mitt Romney

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Top nine reasons why me, Barack Obama, your humble and abiding President dislikes that rich Republican-for-life Mitt Romney.

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Iran’s Sharia Law…A Pedophiles Dream!

Moonbat, Iran – (SatireWorld.com) According to recently released statistics, in the past few weeks over 75 female children under 10 were forced to marry much older men. In 3,929 cases, Iranian brides were under 14.

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Obama Administration Grants Amnesty to Frito Bandito

El Paso, TX – (SatireWorld.com) The Frito Bandito, a former thief, cowboy, and pistolero from Mexico, has been granted amnesty by the INS at the urging of the Obama White House. The bandito has been living as an illegal alien in El Paso, Texas since his ad campaign and reign of terror for Fritos Corn […]

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NATO Jet Shoots Down First Ever Taliban Fighter In 10 Minute Dog Fight

Kabul, Afghanistan NATO forces confirmed today that a US Air Force F-16 shot down a Taliber fighter fighter after it crossed over into Afghanistan air space after ignoring requests that it turn around.

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Russian Nuclear Bomber Buzzes US West Coast City

San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com) A Russian strategic nuclear bomber in disguise was intercepted near the Pacific coast Wednesday…the second such incident in two weeks.

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IRS Agents Will Begin To Check Individual Health Records Next Month

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Fresh on the heels of the Supreme Court’s verdict on Obamacare, over 16,000 new Internal Revenue Agents hit the streets of our nation at a full gallop. Reminiscent of prohibition where thousands avoided paying taxes on home distilled spirits, modern day ‘revenuers’ will leave no stone unturned looking for violators to […]

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Congressman Barney Frank Marries His Boyfriend In Gay Ceremony

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Massachusetts Congressman Barney Frank tied the knot with his longtime partner Jim Ready on Saturday. The 72-year-old congressman tried to keep the details of the private ceremony under wraps, but managed to drop enough clues to tip off the media.

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In June, More Workers Filed For Disability Than Were Hired In The Private Sector

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) More workers joined the federal government’s disability program in June than got new jobs, according to two new government reports, a clear indicator of how bleak the nation’s jobs picture is after three full years of economic recovery.

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Vatican Calls Church of Scientology “weird, secretive, controlling, corrupt and steeped in mystery ‘ as it promises to exorcise Katie from the Devil and Tom Cruise!

The Vatican – (SatireWorld.com) A legal spokesman for Katie Holmes, the wife of Tom Cruise now hiding out from possible abduction from Scientology ‘minders’, said relief may be on it’s way as the Vatican is considering an annulment for the mother of one which will allow her to start over as a ‘very rich’ Virgin.

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Happy July Fourth!

(SatireWorld.com) From all writers and staff at SatireWorld… Happy Fourth of July to all patriots. Especially those who’ve served our country in the past and those guarding us today.

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Team Obama and Chevy Volt: Both Fueled on Lies and Running out of Juice!

Detroit, MI – (SatireWorld.com) Half way through an election year Government Motors (GM) acknowledged it’s goal of selling 45,000 Chevy Volts in 2012 was not possible due to the legacy of George Bush, spontaneous combustion, racism and the influence of Rush Limbaugh.

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Tony Romo on Whether He Misses Jessica Simpson: “That’s a Big Fat Clown Question, Bro!”

Dallas, TX – (SatireWorld.com) Jessica Simpson, the former bad luck charm for the Dallas Cowboys and it’s star crossed Quarterback Tony Romo, has been declared ‘out of shape and unable to perform’ since she’s ballooned to 250 pounds!

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