Archive for October, 2012

PARDON ME! Obama Staff Prepares Post Election Retirement Fundraiser List!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) There’s panic in the bunker as Michelle Obama is heading up a special ‘Financial Action Committee’ to ensure the first couple head off into retirement well oiled, well heeled,and well…quite rich!

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White House Halloween Scare! Obama Views Ghost of Jimmy Carter!

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) Just in time for Halloween. The zany folks over at the White House have reported that the current resident, one Barack Hussein Obama,. reported seeing a ghost in a hallway mirror in the east wing.

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90,000 Hetero Brits Tired of “UK Futbol” Turn out for Patriots Vs Rams in London!

Londonstan (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) In a sparkling testament to testosterone and heterosexual preference, London proved today that ‘Yes, Harold, American Football lives in the UK!

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DOJ’s Eric Holder OK’s Installation of Bidet for UK Terrorist Who Can’t Wipe his own Arse With Two Stumps

Levenworth Penitentiary – (SatireWorld.com) A long awaited extradition from the UK for Egyptian born inept bomber Mustafa Kamel (sic) Mustafa,(MKM) (he blew off both hands and an eye while playing cricket according to his autobiography) has brought added expenses for his up keep, a fact long endured by the Brits.

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$275,000 Worth of Government Armored Cars Destroyed as Harry Reid’s Convoy Crashes and Burns!

Las Vegas, NV – (SatireWorld.com) Just when you think the Democrats can’t screw up anymore, they manage to hit the front pages in yet another embarrassing Cluster-F****!

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OBAMA: The reason I didn’t send in troops to Benghazi was Valerie told me it was just another example of ‘Work Place Violence!’

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) The buses keep rolling, leaving carnage behind them, as the administration continues to throw people under them in the hopes they have enough human sacrifices to last at least through November 6th.

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Obama’s Attempt to Replace Jeep with Off Road Version of Chevy Volt Goes up In Flames!

Detroit, MI – (SatireWorld.com) Coinciding with Fiat’s announcement that it was planning to move Jeep production to China, the Federal Transportation System announced the immediate recall of President Obama’s signature pilot program for the off road version of the Chevy Volt, designated as “The Lightning Bug’.

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Resistant new strain of Gonorrhea Traced to Democratic Committee Chair- DWS!

Palm Beach, FL – (SatireWorld.com) In what could prove to be a major set back for Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s aspiration to succeed Nancy Pelosi as the Democrat MINORITY leader in Congress, the Surgeon General and the Council for Disease Control have reported a virulent strain of Gonorrhea has been traced to the Florida Princess […]

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“Bungle-Bungle:” Another Obama Set Back as Italy’s Fiat Announces It’s Moving Jeep to China!

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) Just weeks before the referendum on the “Bungler In Chief”, and after TV Debates where President Obama touted how he ‘saved’ the automotive industry, Fiat Motors, now proud owner of Chrysler, announced it’s working on plans to move the entire Jeep Production line to China!

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Reality TV Star Honey Boo Boo Frantic Over Impending Obama Loss

Hog Jaw, GA – (SatireWorld.com) Not since her child beauty pageant loss in Vicksburg to 6 year old Mae Belle Glutz has reality TV star Honey Boo Boo cried so much. So far, the Tots and Tiara Queenette has bawled her eyes out for three straight days refusing to eat and taking only an occasion […]

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Big Labor Unions Visits Obama White House Over 500 Times in 3 Years

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Lobbyists for the nation’s largest labor unions have had the run of the White House during its occupancy by President Obama who pledged from his first day in office to curb political influence.

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Romney’s ‘Likability Factor’ Tops Obama’s For First Time

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Mitt Romney crossed a major threshold early this week, moving above 70 percent in his favorability rating among voters, according to the SatireWorld Politic’s average of current polls…and for the first time in the campaign Gov. Romney now leads President Obama on that measure.

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Secret Iranian Accord: Valerie Jarrett Talks Turkey and Habitat for ‘Humanity’ with Ahmadinejad and Khamenei in exchange for pre-election pledge

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Prior to tonight’s historical debate on the lack of presidential leadership on just about every important crisis facing the United States, the Administration is now backpedaling on reports that Iranian born Farsi speaking presidential surrogate Valerie Jarrett has been in secret talks with Iran to boost Obama’s re election odds!

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Bercows Raise Eyes in Commons over new Cars and Tags

Londonstan (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) The staid House of Commons (sic) were summit aghast today as Speaker John Bercow and celebrity star wife and Gypsy Shagger Sally debuted their new cars at their taxpayer funded apartment.

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Cuban Officials….Fidel Castro Officially Declared A Turnip After Stroke

Havana, Cuba – (SatireWorld.com) The rumor mill surrounding the health of Fidel Castro churned anew on Friday, despite a letter from the aging Cuban revolutionary published by state media and denials by relatives at home and in the United States that he is on death’s door.

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Report-Libya’s Gaddafi was Killed By Bayonet Thrusts To His Anus By His Best Friend

Tripoli, Libya – (SatireWorld.com) Colonel Muammar Gaddafi died after being stabbed with a bayonet in the anus and not in a firefight as originally claimed by Libyan authorities, according to a report on the Libyan dictator’s last hours.

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Obama Begins Cleaning Out Oval Office

The White House – (satireworld.com) With poll numbers sliding faster than butter on a hot skillet, the current occupants of the White House are starting to realize that the moving date in 2016 might be a reality sooner than they really expected. Yes, even in Obamaland time flies. For the rest of us it hasn’t […]

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Obama To Join ‘The View’ Cast in Secret Post-Election Career Change

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) In a leaked contract negotiation that has shocked the Democratic party faithful, it is being reported that the ABC television series ‘The View’ has signed Barack Obama as a permanent cast member starting in mid-2017.

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NTSB Rules ‘Wet Farts’ Not Vehicular Accidents

The National Transportation Safety Board has ruled that “Juicy Farts” will not count as vehicular accidents for insurance purposes. In the wording of the ruling, the NTSB stated that “even though having a juicy fart can be called having an accident, it is not the kind of accident that should lead to the filing of […]

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Surgeons Perform First Successful G-Spot Transplant

Baltimore, MD – (SatireWorld.com) While transplants of the heart, kidneys, corneas, and other body parts have been successful for many years, John Hopkins doctors have just completed the first successful g-spot transplant.

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Ten Biden Lies That Will Sink The Obama Election Effort

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Once again, Joe Biden lied his way through a Vice Presidential debate jst as he did in his contest with Sarah Palin back in 2008. This time, the media caught a few of Biden’s worst “malarkey” moments.

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Biden Lays a Debate Egg…10 Excuses for Biden’s Poor Performance

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) After what’s being called the Pepsodent Smile Debate, the handlers for the Vice President released a 10 point response to the press in lieu of Biden’s less than stellar performance at the National Vice Presidential debates in Kentucky.

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Cycling Authorities Ban Lance Armstrong Except For Unicycle Racing

Lyons, France – (SatireWorld.com) The World Cycling Federation has offically banned US bicyclist Lance Armstrong from competing in any further bicycle sporting events. In fact, the 7 time winner of the Grand Prix of cycling lost all his gold medals and is banned for life from even owning a bicycle.

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Satire Writer Martin Schuttlecock Rushed to Hospital….Stomach Removed After Bout of Binge Drinking

Portsmouth (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) British surgeons removed a elderly man’s stomach to save his life after he drank a trendy cocktail made with liquid nitrogen during a night out with friends, police said.

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Storm Clouds Gather Over White House in Chinese/Donor Offshore Credit Card Scandal

Breitbart News- (SatireWorld.com) In an explosive report set to send shockwaves through official Washington, the Government Accountability Institute (GAI) released a 108-page GAI investigation into the threat of foreign and fraudulent Internet campaign donations in U.S. federal elections (visit campaignfundingrisks.com to download the full report).

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‘The World’s Most Interesting Man’ Talks Dirty Politics and Why He Won’t Debate

Coast of Paraguay – (satireworld.com) Fernando Monte Verde retired a number of years ago from a successful business career and at that time would have never believed he would one day be the envy of every male on the planet! But today Fernando certainly is that man.

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Handlers Say Biden Will Be On a ‘Soothing Lithium Drip’ For The VP Debate

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) After publically claiming ‘it’s only 30 more days to the erection,’ Joe Biden handlers have taken matters into their own hands and have placed the Vice President into the care of the White House Physician for immediate treatment in order to have the VP compete in Wednesday’s Vice Presidential debate.

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White House Pleased as US Food Stamp Recipients Hit All-Time High

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) While the so-called lowest unemployment rate of Barack Obama’s tenure dominated weekend economic news, a less-welcome statistic for the White House (a record number of food-stamp recipients) slipped by the biased mainstream media with barely a notice.

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Democrats Scramble For New Rocks As Dismal Election Day Approaches

Condor, CA – (SatireWorld.com) The buying rush had officially began in parts of the US as hundreds of thousands of former Obama supporters rush out to buy new shelter for themselves and their families before the impending November elections which are looking dim for Democrats.

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Nervous Democrats Dread Joe Biden – Paul Ryan Debate

Democratic strategists are eyeing the forthcoming debate between Vice President Biden and Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) with extreme nervousness in the wake of President Obama’s horrible performance in his first debate with Mitt Romney Wednesday night.

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