Archive for November, 2012

Reality TV Star Honey Boo Boo To Wed!

Hog Jaw, GA – (SatireWorld.com) It looks like the sound of wedding bells are in the air as reality TV star Honey Boo Boo,(aka Allana Thompson) age 7 or so, will soon take a walk down the church aisle and marry her fourth cousin Cletus ‘Skeeter’ Johnson, age 27.

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WalMart Shocks Wall Street With Total and Full Store Robotic Automation. One Million Workers to Be Laid Off!

Benton, AK – (SatireWorld.com) During the annual report for stockholders of the world’s largest retailer, the Board of Directors announced a new direction for WalMart. President Ira Walton unveiled plans to fully intergrate all stores into a fully automated system eliminating 99% of all employess by May 2013.

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In Post Election Washington Sex Activist Sandra Fluke Now Considered A ‘Person Non Grata’

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) So, if you’re a ‘one trick political pony’ what does the future have in store for a person like Sandra Fluke? The answer might surprise you if you believe that the Obama campaign takes care of its own.

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Mysterious Indianapolis Explosion that Killed two Linked to Presidential Xbox!

Indianapolis, IN – (SatireWorld.com) UN Ambassador Susan Rice made the rounds of 5 Sunday talk shows to emphasize that the devastating explosion in Indiana that killed 2, destroyed 2 homes, blew up 18 others, left 27 uninhabitable and obliterated a “Marco Rubio in 2016” campaign HQ was the result of ‘spontaneous combustion’ and not the […]

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Yasser Arafat’s Body To Be Exhumed Tuesday To Change His Rolex Battery

Ramallah, West Bank – (SatireWorld.com) The remains of former Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat will be exhumed Tuesday as part of a renewed investigation into his death, a source close to the investigation said on Saturday. The same source also said Arafat’s Rolex wrist watch will have a new battery installed at the same time.

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Exclusive: US Food Stamp Recipients Now Outnumber Populations of 24 States Combined!

Via Breitbart News by Wynton Hall An analysis by Breitbart News has found that the number of individuals on food stamps now exceeds the combined populations of 24 states and the District of Columbia. In November, the U.S. Department of Agriculture reported that a record 47,102,780 individuals receive food stamps.

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AFL-CIO Chief Trumpka Stunned By WalMart Offering Union Members an Additional 20% Discount To Tear Up Their Union Cards!

Bentonville, AR – (SatireWorld.com) Today, Walmart U.S. reported its best ever Black Friday events. The retailer saw larger crowds than last year and a huge response to its first ever one-hour guarantee on key electronic items in spite of threatened employee walk-outs organized by union officials eager to sign America’s largest private employer as a […]

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Horowitz: Democrats Groom the Mentally Disabled to Vote

Via NEWSMAX by David Horowitz I am incredibly steamed this Thanksgiving Holiday over what the Democrats are doing to my country.

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PETA Outrage as World’s Most Interesting Man Caught Choking his Turkey!

On board the motor sailing vessel Conquest-(SatireWorld.com) The World’s Most Interesting Man, with more aliases then can be listed here, is now the focus of animal rights groups, environmentalists, vegetarians and global warming zombies after he was photographed at long range in his Orlando pile ‘choking his turkey’ prior to a debate with Debbie Wasserman […]

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Captain America Fired From Part-time Mall Santa Job!

Dingleberry, SC – (SatireWorld.com) At the Dingleberry Regional Mall there was a bit of excitement during the first official day of the holiday shopping season…Mall officials fired Santa Claus!

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Social Security…How The US Government Runs The Ultimate Ponzi Scheme

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The only thing wrong with the government’s calculation of available social security funds is they forgot to factor in the people who paid into the system but died before they could collecf their first social security check. Where did all that money go?

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Obama Hopes For Future Turkey Pardon For Himself

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) With 15% of the American people on food stamps and unemployment increasing as thousands of business lay off workers due to healthcare cost fears, President Obama took some time off from golf to pardon a turkey for Thanksgiving.

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Hundreds of thousands Jobs Lost due to Election, Obamacare, and Dem Policies called” Collateral Damage’ by Valerie Jarrett!

Washington, DC -(SatireWorld.com) In the aftermath of the recent election, the 50% who punched the straight Democratic ticket, including 98% of union workers, 99.8% of Afro-Americans, 71% of Jewish voters, and a like number of Hispanics are now just ‘collateral damage’ according to the administration as tens of thousands are being laid off as small […]

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Once Again… Jane Fonda Wins National Poll As America’s Favorite Traitor

Backstabbing Institute of America-(SatireWorld.com) Jane Fonda, long called Hanoi Jane by anyone who actually remembers the 60’s in anything other than a drugged out haze, has been voted the top American Traitor in an independent news poll. The results of the poll, which will air on a new reality series to be titled “Sell Out,” […]

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Lizzy Warren Backs U of VA Anti-Thanksgiving Dinner: Promises Class Action for “Indian” Reparations!

Fantasyland, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Following a demonstration dinner planned by the American Indian Student Union (AISU) at the University of Virginia to protest American’s interpretation of Thanksgiving, newly elected Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren claims she’s the inspiration for the protest!

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Welcome To The USA….Wait! Here’s Your Freebies!

“Welcome to USA.gov,” a website maintained by the Department of Homeland Security’s U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services bills itself as the “primary gateway for new immigrants to find basic information on how to settle in the United States” …featuring a prominent section for new immigrants about how to access government benefits.

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Pelosi Threatens ‘Family Business Initiative’ Over Any Fiscal Cliff Failure

Newark, NJ – (SatireWorld.com) House Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi says she’s hopeful lawmakers can come to a deal to avoid a year-end “fiscal cliff” but any agreement has to include tax rate increases for the wealthy. But adds, she’ll make them an offer they can’t refuse…Or something like that!

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Meagan McCain Threatens to Leave Republican Party Over Twinkies Plant Closing

Muffinville, AZ – (SatireWorld.com) Pampered snot-bag and full time RINO, Meagan McCain threatened to cutoff all affiliation with the Republican Party after talks with fellow MSNBC staffers squarely placed the blame for Hostess Brands to shutter its doors on Republicans in the wake of union unrest.

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Apple Introduces New “I-Farted”

Silicon Valley, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Apple proudly unveiled their newest “I” product today, joining the family that includes the I-phone and the I-pad. The I-farted will be available for sale at the price of $229.95 (with Black Friday sales prices of $169.95 in many locations). Many retailers expect people to camp out overnight to take […]

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City of San Francisco Promises Hostess ‘Twinkies’ A Home

San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com) The San Francisco City Council held a prime time news conference to announce some good news for the city by the bay inhabitants…We are now 100 percent gay and Twinkies are here to stay!

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White House Psychologist: Obama Addicted to Snuff Films!

The White House Situation Room – (SatireWorld.com) In a shocking breach of security emanating from deep in the administration, highly sensitive e-mails to the Surgeon General from the staff psychologist indicate that the President has become addicted to government sponsored snuff films!

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Obama Suffering from Israeli ‘Withdrawal Symptoms” Says He’d ‘Walk a Mile for a Camel!”

The White House- (SatireWorld.com) President Obama continues to distance himself from Israel even after an earlier story at SW that the fighting has escalated with the insertion of a battalion of Type B-65 armored camels funded by Afghan president Karzi after a Toyota recall due to alleged ‘sudden acceleration’

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Taliban Sneaks Armored Forces To Support Islamic Fighters in Syrian Rebellion

Damascus, Syria – (SatireWorld.com) Further escalation by outside forces in the Syrian civil war was caught on a Predator drone surveillance camera. Taliban forces from Afghanistan herded a full battalion of armored camels under cover of darkness across the Iraqi-Syrian border this past weekend.

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Woman Delivers World’s Fattest Triplets In Miracle Birth…NFL Promises a Signing Bonus!

Sacramento, CA – (SatireWorld.com) A California woman may have broken a world record when she gave birth a set of triplets who weighed more than 30 pounds each.

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Hamas Rocket Attacks Threatens to Spill Over to Lebanon; Clinton Sends Honorary Consul Natalie Khawam to Mediate with Military Leaders!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) With the middle east a tinderbox ready to explode with the civil war in Syria, and more unprovoked rocket attacks from Hamas lighting up Israel, Secretary of State Clinton announced she was dispatching Lebanese agent provocateur Natalie Khawam to the scene as her ‘honorary consul’ to move the dispute from the […]

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Obamanomics On Track For Record Poverty Levels With 50 Million Poor

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) As President Barack Obama is set to begin his second term set on destroying a prosperous America as we know it, new statistics on America’s poverty rate indicate that nearly 50 million Americans, more than 16 percent of the population, are struggling to survive.

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What Raising any Puppy Could Have Taught Petraeus!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Perhaps with his long military career and many different postings General Petraeus never had the time to have raised a dog in his military family. If he had, perhaps things would have not resolved to the point where he finds himself disgraced, discredited, and disowned after an otherwise distinguished career serving […]

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Tampa Socialite Twins, Destitute and Broke, Advertise 2 for 1 “Hav-a-Tampa” Deal on Craigslist!

Tampa, FL – (SatireWorld.com) Just when you think it couldn’t get worse for the Tampa socialites Jill Kelley and Natalie Khawam linked to the Petraeus and Allen scandal, reports are surfacing that the twins will do anything to bail themselves out of the financial hole their Kardashian life style has put them in!

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Night of the Long Knives: Obama’s Anna Chapman Protocol Now in Play!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) For anyone interested in Obama’s claim to be ‘more flexible’ after his re election, one only has to look to the lingering mystery over the sudden ‘exchange’ of Anna Chapman and her sophisticated Russian colleagues July 8, 2010, only 11 days after they were busted by the FBI.

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Senator Elizabeth Warren at Her First Public ‘Pow Wow’ Blows Smoke Signals from Her Arse!

Seemingly shocked over her victory over moderate Republican Scott Brown in the totalitarian blue state of Massachusetts, feather weight pretender and Harvaaad (sic) apologist Lizy seemed lost for words as she appeared before liberal reporters along with the next Attorney General, Governor ‘Cadillac’ Deval Patrick.

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