Archive for March, 2013

“I Got Mad Cow Disease From Eating Gummi Worms”

The following Editorial is an apology from the editor and owner of England’s on line humour magazine: The Spoof.

Full Story

White House Coup: Jarrett Assumes Command of Crisis Center As N. Korea Prepares to Launch!

White House Bunker, April 1, 2013 (year of the rat-f****er) Palace insiders are confirming that in the wake of imminent threats from North Korea, backed with support from Iran, President Obama has had what is charitably claimed to be a ‘Brain Cramp’ forcing him to turn over the defense of the country to Dominatrix in […]

Full Story

MSNBC Reports……France Surrenders to North Korea

Paris, France- (SatireWorld.com) Not waiting for shots to be fired in their direction, the French government officially hoisted a gigantic white flag over Paris this morning signaling their intent to capitulate to North Korean demands made earlier this week by Kim Jong Un.

Full Story

North Korea Strangely Silent after Kerry Delivers Sexual Aids to Kim Jung Dung, Jr.!

Poon Tang, N. Korea – (SatireWorld.com) In a last ditch effort to avoid annihilation by the superior physical and technical forces of the Peoples Repubic (sic) of North Korea, Secretary of State John Kerry landed on Inchon Beach to deliver a hoard of prized porn and sex toys to the deranged leader.

Full Story

Liz Cheney Tells It Like It Is……

Wall Street Journal- By LIZ CHENEY “Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it on to our children in the bloodstream. The only way they can inherit the freedom we have known is if we fight for it, protect it, defend it and then hand it to them with […]

Full Story

BREAKING NEWS! Scientists Issue Impending Earthquake Warning…Overweight People Asked Evacuate West Coast Areas Immediately!

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) A just released US government report is causing concerns for citizens living on the West Coast. The report blames fat people in automobiles for the rise in tectonic activity mainly in the Pacific rim. Advisories have been forwarded to the US West Coast authorities in anticipation of the ‘Big One’ […]

Full Story

North Korean Army Attacks Seoul For Snacks and Cheeseburgers

Seoul, South Korea – (SatireWorld.com) Today at dusk over 45 divisions of crack North Korean troops swarmed over the DMZ and attacked the capitol city of South Korea setting fires, looting stores and shops ending a 60 year armistice that was frequently broken over disputed boundaries and vast political reunificationissues.

Full Story

83 Year Old Barbara Walters Finally Announces Retirement! Will Interview Herself On Last Show

ABC News – Veteran TV news personality and icon Barbara Walters is set to retire in just a few days, according to multiple reports.

Full Story

Bad Drug Bandit Strikes Again

Annapolis MD – (SatireWorld.com) Maryland’s governor, attorney general, state police/law enforcement officers, hospital administrators and trial lawyer associations are in a panic as the Bad Drug Bandit has struck again.

Full Story

Publisher Reveals Autobiography of Debbie Wasserman Shultz’s College Days Will Not Be Titled “Taming of the Shrew”

Palm Beach, FL – (SatireWorld.com) Gaines Publications announced today that, contrary to popular rumor, the autobiography of Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz will not be titled “Taming of the Shrew.” The book, which covers the years of the current Democratic Party Chairman while she was a student at The University of Florida, is expected to be […]

Full Story

Peace in Our Time: OBAMA ANNOUNCES JUDEO-CHRISTIAN QE2 Cruise Going NOWHERE!

Hamilton, Bermuda, April 1, 2013. The White House Travel Agency announced the President’s latest gambit to promote Judeo-Christian Unity in view of his waning popularity in Hollywood, Palm Beach and Tel Aviv by Chartering the Queen Mary 2 to celebrate the upcoming days of Passover, Palm Sunday, and Easter rolled up in one big cluster.

Full Story

Finally, Obama Takes Credit for Something: STI’s up 19.7M Since 2008 Erection(sic)

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The Obama administration finally has something to crow about, and White House Spokesman Jay Blarney (sic) was quick to point it out at a hastily called news conference this afternoon.

Full Story

Texas Wants Its Gold Back. Tells Feds To Ship All $1 Billion Back

Austin, TX – (SatireWorld.com) The State of Texas wants its gold back…all $1 billion of it. That’s what Gov. Rick Perry told Glenn Beck on his radio show last week, according to the Texas Tribune.

Full Story

Homeland Security Chief Denies Vicious Twitter Rumors

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) In a modern world where rumor spreads at the speed of light, except maybe at the Department of Homeland Security where a Twitter rumor has run rampent for almost two weeks before being challenged and debunked much to the chagrin of Director Janet Napolitano.

Full Story

Bloomberg’s Trips To Burmuda Hide-a-Way Include His Personal Armed Guards In No-Gun Burmuda!

New York City – (SatireWorld.com) In another classic example of ‘do-as-I-say,but not-as-I-do New York’s anti-gun mayor makes sure he’s well protected when abroad. A recent example is Bloomberg’s weekend get-a-ways to his lavish Burmuda retreat where armed NYC police are part of his entourage in violation of Burmuda’s strict no-gun policy.

Full Story

Bizarre: Post Mortem Claims Russian Oligarch accidentally strangled…by his own hands!

London(UK)-(SatireWorld.com) In a case fit for Sherlock Holmes, Metrpolitan police have determined that Russian Billionaire Boris Berezousky accidentally strangled himself while adjusting his ascot prior to attending afternoon tea with London Mayor Boris Johnson.

Full Story

The Big Question Gay Marriage Foes Are Asking…Is Justice Elena Kagan a Homosexual?

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) It began, seemingly innocently enough, with a grainy black and white photograph of a woman smiling broadly and preparing to swing a bat in a game of softball. The picture was placed on the front page of Tuesday’s Wall Street Journal and featured Elena Kagan, who the day before had been […]

Full Story

Starships Arrive Over Earth’s Cities For Exodus

Washington DC-(satireWorld.com) The blue and white star ships with six pointed stars adorning their surfaces began arriving over Earth’s major cities in February. The interstellar ships arrival time was known only by personnel of Communication with Extraterrestrial Intelligence (CETI), the president of the USA and the prime minister of Israel. CETI personnel could not believe […]

Full Story

By Presidential Order, Nebraska’s Largest City to Change Name to “Obamaha”

Omaha, NE – (SatireWorld.com) Effective April 1st, the city of Omaha, Nebraska will undergo a slight change. Two letters will be added to the name to make it “Obamaha, Nebraska” in honor of the President of the United States.

Full Story

Unexplained Deaths, Missing Ministers Leads to EU Demise: Brits Celebrate!

The UK breathed a sigh of relief today, after over 100 EU appointed ministers were found dead in their baths, hit by cabs, or from mysterious illnesses marked by bodies glowing in the dark.

Full Story

Chicago…Dead Last In Federal Gun Law Enforcement….But First In Harrassing Law Abiding Gun Owners!

New York, NY- (SatireWorld.com) National Rifle Association executive vice president Wayne LaPierre asked a marvelous question on NBC’s Meet the Press Sunday.

Full Story

All You Old Farts…Stand Up and Be Recognized!

An Old Fart huh…I’m passing this on as I did not want to be the only old fart receiving it. Actually, it’s not a bad thing to be called, as you will see.

Full Story

Mayor Bloomberg Seeks To Outlaw Q-tips In New York City

New York City – (SatireWorld.com) After his recent setback on his attempt to outlaw soft drinks in New York City, Mayor Bloomberg has set his sights on a new product: Q-tips. The popular cotton swab used to clean out ears, remove make-up, clean car parts, and other intricate work will soon go the way of […]

Full Story

Horror in LA! Michael Moore trips and falls, crushing family of 6, 2 critically!

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) LAX was the scene of a horrific accident caused by Michael Moore, the docu-drama queen and darling of the liberal left as he ‘rushed’ through the airport in an attempt to make a flight to Venezuela in time for Hugo Chavez’s embalmment.

Full Story

Y.M.C.A. to Change Name to Young Men’s Christian Militia

Beaver Tail, WA – (SatireWorld.com0 The Y.M.C.A., an organization founded in 1844, is going to change it’s name in the United States in order to help members defend their 2nd Amendment rights. The group, which was founded on the principles of developing a healthy mind, body, and spirit, believes that these must also be protected.

Full Story

Department of Homeland Security Purchases 2,700 Armored Trucks to Patrol US Streets

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The Department of Homeland Security recently retrofitted 2,717 of these ‘Mine Resistant Protected’ vehicles, or MRAP, for service on the streets of the United States.

Full Story

“Portsmouth Peckerhead” Joins United Kingdom’s Most Wanted List

Portsmouth (UK)- (SatireWorld.com) Scotland Yard has added the infamous “Portsmouth Peckerhead” to their list of the United Kingdom’s Ten Most Wanted List. The criminal, also known as Harold Worth, Ian Skoob, Skoob1999, Lucifer, Mrs. Kensington, Martin Shuttlecock, and Bookseller, is wanted for several crimes all over the United Kingdom.

Full Story

Obama Demands National Zoo Exhibit Gummi Bears

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) Fresh from the heels of a State Trip (family vacation) to Germany, President Obama announced that he feels the National Zoo in Washington D.C. needs to become more international. The President stated that the Zoo needs to add other animals such as Gummi Bears to their exhibits.

Full Story

Portsmouth UK Man’s Skull Repaired Using 3-D Printer

Portsmouth (UK)-(SatireWorld.com) Doctors at Queen Alexandra Hospital have used 3D printing technology to replace most of a man’s missing skull in an innovative procedure that is sure to revolutionize orthopedic surgery.

Full Story

Harry Reems Dead! Another ‘Big Gun’ Silenced in Liberal Hollywood!

Provo, Utah- (SatireWorld.com) Satire World editor Bargis Tryhol declared a day of mourning at the cutting edge investigative internet publication after learning of the death of his estranged and formerly conjoined twin Harry Reems in a VA hospital earlier this week.

Full Story