Archive for April, 2013

Local Man Dies After Falling Into Industrial Meat Grinder At Processing Plant

Clackamas County, Oregon – (satireworld.com) A man has died at an Oregon meat packaging plant after falling into an industrial meat grinder. Rescue efforts were attempted. According to company officials in a carefully worded statement issues to the press, ‘only the man’s shoes were left unharmed and were returned to the next of kin.’

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Qatar Officials: ‘Ancient Greek Statues Depicting Nude Men Must Wear Burka’

Doha, Qatar – (SatireWorld.com) Greece has pulled two ancient statues of nude males from an Olympic exhibition in Doha after Qatari authorities insisted on veiling them.

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Congress May Be Taking Longer Recesses

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) The US Supreme Court is expected to hear arguments concerning President Obama’s controversial January 2012 recess appointments of three new members to the National labor Relations Board (NLRB).

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Boston Designates Friday “Throw A Paper Airplane At A Mosque” Day

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) In remembrance of the people killed and injured and in memory of all of the pain, anguish, and suffering caused by the recent Boston Marathon bombing incident, city officials have designated this Friday as “Throw a Paper Airplane at a Mosque Day.” The event, which is designed to help the people […]

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Amazon.com Reports Kim Jung Un Has Ordered 1000 Pressure Cookers

DMZ-North Korea – (SatireWorld.com) North Korean Leader Kim Jun Un has ordered 1000 pressure cookers to be shipped to Pyongyang, according to a sales report released by Amazon.com. The dimunitive dictator, said a spokesman for the company, is either “wanting a bunch of kim chee really fast or is going to try to copycat the […]

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TV’s ‘The Real Housewives Of Islamabad’ Premiers On US Cable Tonight

Islamisbad, Pakistan -(SatireWorld.com) Reality TV’s latest offering is sure to raise eyebrows and a few tempers as season one of The Real Housewives of Islamabad makes its way to the small screen. Shot on location in Pakistan’s capitol, Islamabad, the first of sixteen segments is set to begin final editing as soon as goat herding […]

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SatireWorld’s Top 10… ‘Only in America’

OK….This is SatireWorld’s Top 10 – ‘Only in America’

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Impeachment Considered in the US House of Representatives

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) The trial of a former Indiana Democratic official and a Board of Elections worker resulted in a guilty verdict on various felony charges. The two persons were accused of being part of an illegal scheme to fake petitions that enabled candidate Barack Obama to qualify for the 2008 presidential primary ballot.

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Treasury Announces ‘Small Change” For New $100 Bill Scheduled for October.

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) The Obama administration recently announced the issuance of a new $100 bill scheduled for release in October and which requires a recall of all the old Ben Franklin’s.

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Female US Sailor Beats Dubai Taxi Driver’s Ass After Rape Attempt

Dubai UAE – (SatireWorld.com) An off-duty U.S. navy sailor wrestled a Dubai bus driver to the ground and beat him into submission after he tried to rape her at knifepoint on Jan. 19, a courtroom heard Wednesday.

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I’m Proud To Be A One Percenter

Satire World Editorial: Last year, we had idiots camping out all over this country to protest the one percenters. They disrupted business on Wall Street and in many other cities just for publicity purposes. This group claimed to represent 99% of the American people, but they didn’t represent me.

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YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN TROUBLE WHEN….

SatireWorld Essay: If the citizens of this country had any doubt that their country had lost its way and was floundering in the new era of diversity, multi-culturalism and redistribution, let them put those doubts to rest right now!

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Center for Disease Control (CDC) Issues Second Philadelphia Zombie Alert

Atlanta, GA – (SatireWorld.com) The world’s leading research and communicable disease control center (CDC) located in Atlanta, Georgia has issued its second Zombie Alert for the Philadelphia area, advising citizens to be prepared and have ample stocks and supplies on hand in the event of a zombie breakout.

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Poll: 69% Said ‘Yes’ To Wanting Their Own Gun Around During A Nearby Police Manhunt

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) The nation watched as the Boston area went under lockdown during a manhunt for the armed and dangerous marathon bombing suspect. If you were in that situation, would you want a gun at your side?

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EPA Determines New York State’s Water Supply is Contaminated

Albany NY- (SatireWorld.com) The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has analyzed the water distribution systems of the State of New York and found no evidence of pollution caused by natural gas Fracking. However, the agency concluded there must be something in the state’s water supply that causes weird behavior of NY Democratic politicians.

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Hillary Cornered! “I Did Not Have Intimate Relations With That Man Ben Gazzi!”

Washington,DC – (SatireWorld.com) Following a damaging 46 page report assembled by security conscious GOP legislators which revealed the inner circle of the Clinton Clique unequivocally denied enhanced security for slain ambassador Chris Stevens, Hillary doubled down on her denial of culpability.

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Government Scientists Discovery New Crayola Crayon Color

Palo Alto, CA – (SatireWorld.com) First there was the much touted colors of 2012 certain to dazzle the eye of any 10 year old, like Fuzzy Wuzzy Brown, Purple Heart,Banana Mania,Cotton Candy, Manatee, and Shadow. Today government scientists working under a $2.4 billion dollar grant announced a break through Crayola color which they hope will […]

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Can Muslims Ever Be Good Americans, Australians, British, or Canadians?

Somewhere On Planet Earth- (SatireWorld.com) This is certainly a thought to ponder after repeated attacks and planned attacks against western countries. Maybe this is why our American-Australian-British-Canadian Muslims are being so quiet and not speaking out in anger about atrocities committed against innocent people. When was the last time (if ever) an Islamic leader called […]

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Sequestration Did Not Affect HHS Toilet Tissue Study

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) In order to avoid sequestration affecting an ongoing Health and Human Services (HHS) toilet tissue study, HHS Secretary Sebelius has terminated research into reusable Kevlar condoms. Both programs were funded by ObamaCare.

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MSNBC: Boston Terror Cell Expands – Kazakhstani Detained!

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) MSNBC reports that FBI and Boston Police raided a rundown motor home on the outskirts of Watertown in its continued investigation into the possiblity of an advanced terrorist cell network in the New England area. Detained was a student on an expired visa. The FBI says the 32 year old male’s […]

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Brooklyn Hadassah Members Hold ‘Anthony Wiener for Mayor’ Rally

Brooklyn, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Local 417, the Brotherhood of Electrical Workers in Brooklyn, hosted the first annual Hadassah Fashion Show to benefit union supporter Rep. Anthony Wiener (D-NY) who faces a tough mayoral election cycle next fall. Event organizer Ruth Lipshitz promises all proceeds will be forwarded to the election campaign to, as she put […]

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Boston Crime: 1200 Community College Students Deported as “persons of non-interest’ in Cover Up!

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Satire World undercover sources now report that over 1200 students from ‘overseas’ have suddenly vanished from a Boston Community College, (which can not be named due to a White House Blackout) after traces of gun powder, batteries, circuit breakers and free Obama cellphones have been traced back to Dzhokhar Tsarnacv’s dorm […]

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CHOOM, BOOM and DOOM; COLORADO OBAMA POT RALLY ERUPTS IN GUNFIRE

Denver, CO – (SatireWorld.com) In an organized display to show solidarity with the current White House regime, thousands turned out in Denver to celebrate 4/20, a day in April that will live in infamy as the country goes up in smoke!

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President Obama Diagnosed With Speech Impediment

Boston MA – (SatireWorld.com) Federal, state and local law enforcement performed admirably in capturing the Boston Marathon bombers. Ordinary citizens, emergency responders and surgeons/doctors at Boston area hospitals also performed admirably to save the lives of innocent people in the aftermath of the tragic event.

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Bomber Brother Big Obama Fan and Pot Head…Got A ‘Thank You’ From Re-election Committee

Boston, MA According to friends and his Twitter account Bomb Brothers suspect and fugitive Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was just a “normal pot head” who supported President Obama for re-election last November.

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Crisis in Boston: Cops Run Short of Ammo & Donuts During Lockdown!

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) In the aftermath of the Bean Town Marathon Murder and Mayhem, followed by the Watertown Meltdown, the entire Boston area surrounding Copley square and the area which houses several of the nation’s most liberal bastions of education have ground to a halt due to a total lock down.

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Swine Mouth (Hog Jaw) Arkansas Native Returns Home

Swine Mouth AR – (SatireWorld.com) American flags are flying everywhere and drunks are off the streets, you would think the Pope (no way in this Southern Baptist town), or President Obama (no way in this Republican town) or Vice President Biden (possibly, as he has a shotgun and will travel) was coming to Swine Mouth.

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Florida Announces State Capitol Move To Orlando

Tallahassee, FL – News Wire Contributor The Florida Senate approved a plan to move the state capitol from presently located Tallahassee to center-state located Orlando. The move will save millions of dollars in transportation fees and travel expenses over a ten-year period.

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California Man Testifies About The Night His Ex Cut Off His Penis!

Santa Ana, California – (SatireWorld.com) The estranged husband of a woman charged with severing his penis said it was as though his life ended the evening of the attack. The man cried as he testified Wednesday at the trial of Catherine Kieu, saying the 2011 attack caused him excruciating pain.

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Pentagon Deploying All Gay Battalion To Syrian-Jordanian Border

The Pentagon- (SatireWorld.com) In a critical indication of growing U.S. military involvement in the in the Syrian fight against ISIS, SatireWorld has learned the Defense department is ordering the deployment of up to 1,200 troops to Jordan, according to two Defense Department officials. The troops are part of the Army’s first all homosexual brigade and […]

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