Archive for June, 2013

President Obama Goes on Safari

Tanzania Africa – (SatireWorld.com) President Obama, First Lady Michelle Obama and their two daughters are on a good-will trip to several countries in sub-Saharan Africa.

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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom: “The Country Boy Advice Column”

Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, Me and my buddy Ralph heard that they were going to have discount boob jobs at Walmart.  We want to sign Ralphs sister up for the service because she is the carpenter’s dream (flat as a board) and a treasure hunter’s dream (a sunken chest) all rolled into one.  Patricia is […]

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Obama Executive Order moves to Quell Race Riots: Tayvon to be buried at Arlington!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) President Obama, surrogate father to deceased Tayvon Martin, moved quickly today to dampen tempers as he anticipated a quick verdict of ‘not guilty’ prior to the jury decision in the Zimmerman trial by declaring Martin would be buried with full military honors in Arnlington National Cemetery.

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Ex-President Jimmy Carter Claims,’Catholic Church As Bad As Islamic Terrorists’

Plains, GA – (SatirteWorld.com) Former U.S. President Jimmy Carter (D-GA), and now professional Moonbat-At-Large, says religious leaders, including those in Christianity and Islam, share the blame for mistreatment of women and young girls across the world.

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SatireWorld’s …Political Quiz…Are You Up To The Challenge?

The SatireWorld Political Quiz The rules are simple. We will give you a quote and you have to guess what American politician said it. Your three choices are President Barack Obama, former Vice President Dan Quayle, or former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.

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A Letter From Mrs. Philbert……

Dear Satire World, I’m sorry to inform you that Philbert has retreated to his man-cave in the basement with a couple of quarts of sugary soft drinks (nuts to you NYC Mayor Bloomberg), suffering from a case of mild depression.

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” My Culture Regularly Calls White People ‘Crackers’ “

Sanford, FL – (SatireWorld.com) During George Zimmerman’s murder trial, star prosecution witness Rachel Jeantel told the defense lawyer during cross-examination that it is the norm within her local community to call white people “crackers.”

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Obama’s $100 Million Dollar Africa Trip Includes His Mother-in-Law, Dog Bo, Five Chefs, and Some ‘Niece’ No One Knows About!

With the latest GNP showing a scant 1.8% increase, unemployment stagnating at 7.8%, and scandals popping out of the woodwork every week, President Obama is trying to disguise a $100 Million Dollar taxpayer-paid family vacation as a State Visit to African countries.

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Eric Holder Played with his Ding Dong Over Hong Kong While Edward Snowdon Slipped Away!

Justice Department – (SatireWord.com) The United States government wrote the wrong middle name on documents requesting Edward Snowden’s extradition from Hong Kong, the Wall Street Journal reported Wednesday.

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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”

Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, Where do I go to apply for a job at the Walmart?  I heard that they are going to be doing boob jobs and making titties bigger at the walmart and I want a job there.

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Valarie Jarrett: ‘America Safer Because of Gays’

The Pentagon – (SatireWorld.com) The Pentagon on Tuesday toasted gays in the military, with a top adviser to President Obama declaring the country is “safer” now that homosexuals may serve openly.

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Obama Triangle to be Investigated

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) Researchers who have been investigating the strange phenomena supposedly occurring in the Bermuda Triangle are now turning their attention to the mysterious Obama Triangle.

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Woman With New ‘Boobs-2-Go From Walmart’ Accused Of Suffocating 89 Year Old Man

Benton, Arkansas – (SatireWorld.com) Beverly Boxtop, the world record holder for being the ‘Woman With The World’s Biggest Breasts,’ was arrested today for suspicion of manslaughter. She was connected to a recent accidental death which happened last week at a downtown Walmart Superstore.

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Walmart To Begin Offering Discount Breast Enhancement Surgery

Benton, AR – (SatireWorld.com) Beginning July 1, the nation’s largest retailer will venture into cosmetic surgery for the first time when Walmart begins offering Breast Enhancement Surgery at all Super Walmart locations. The store where you can get your eyes examined and then get a new pair of glasses, get your nails done, then get […]

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Man Apologizes For Having Naked Ass in Church

Zion, UT – (SatireWorld.com) A man in Zion, Utah apologized for showing his naked ass in church. The man, Brigham Heber Smith, said that he understood the rule that all males were supposed to wear slacks, a white shirt, and a tie in the building and that all women should be in a dress. He […]

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Zelda Crunch to Receive the Nobel Prize

Oslo Norway-(SatireWorld.com) The Nobel Prize committee met today and decided to take back President Obama’s 2009 Nobel Prize and award it belatedly to Zelda Crunch, who really did something for world peace.

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Man Tries Salad Dressing-Immediately Turns Gay!

Spokane, WA – (SatireWorld.com) It started out as a simple picnic in Twin Falls Park when Anthony ‘Rocco’ Pietro felt different than when he first arrived at the picnic area. That’s what lawyers are saying in a recent lawsuit filed against Krafty Foods where they claim Krafty’s Zesty Italian Salad Dressing made their client into […]

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Harry Reid Discovered To Have Cranial-Rectal Inversion

Las Vegas, NV – (SatireWorld.com) Senator Harry Reid, in treatment at a Washington doctor’s office for a minor health issue, has been diagnosed with another ailment. While being seen due to a common cold, it was decided to give the 73 year old man a complete physical. Doctors announced today that the Nevada Senator has […]

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CAIR Volunteer Held On Child Rape Charge, Says 12 Year Old Girl ‘Dressed Too Provocatively’

Denver, CO – (SatireWorld.com) A university senior, and an immigrant from Cairo, accused of having sex with a 12-year-old girl told police the runaway was “dressed provocatively” when he met her near the University of Colorado campus.

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Fruit Proclaimed As “Nature’s Viagra”

Nature Valley, CA – (SatireWorld.com) A fruit has officially been named as “Nature’s Viagra.” In a study to find the health benefits of dates, it was discovered that they “improve libido” in men. Another study by another company found dates to be a natural cure for impotence.

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California Social Services Orders Octomom Cemented Shut!

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Holding court orders from the California Department of Social Services, two squads of policemen and two professional masonry workers descended upon the Octomom’s new house today, all carrying tools of their trades.

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Federal Workers Must Report Each Other For Leaks

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) President Obama, via a secret executive order, has tasked his executive branch agency heads to have their civilian employees observe and report to superiors any suspicious behavior of their fellow employees.

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Following A Tip FBI Looks For Jimmy Hoffa’s Remains In Wendy’s Cheesburger

Bronx, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Following what appear to be an endless stream of mobster tips as to the whereabouts of ex-teamster boss Jimmy Hoffa, the FBI raided a Wendy’s Hamburger restaurant of Fordham Avenue this morning looking for the missing mob associate.

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White House Press Secretary Jay Carney Avoids His 9,486th Question

The White House- (SatireWorld.com) White House reporters sometimes poke fun at press secretary Jay Carney’s penchant for using the phrase “I appreciate the question” during briefings — especially when it’s clear he likely does not, in fact, “appreciate” a tough or awkward query.

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House Bill Allows Food Stamp Recipients To Be Tested For Illegal Drugs!

The Capitol – (SatireWorld.com) The House Farm Bill, which cuts $20.5 billion over the next decade to food assistance programs, added a provision Wednesday night to keep drug users from getting food stamps.

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Obama Administration to Standardize Toilet Seat Sizes and Materials

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) Contained in the 20,000 pages of ObamaCare regulations is a Health and Human Services (HHS) wellness requirement to prevent hemorrhoids by standardizing toilet seat sizes and materials.

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Hagel Dazed and Confused when 9 out of 10 Female Combat Recruits fail Short Arm Inspection!

The Pentagon – (SatireWorld.com) Secretary of Defense Chuck (rhymes with Puck) Hagel said he would confer with POTUS after a recent physical to determine the eligibility and readiness of women for the combat arms division of the Navy, Army and Marines turned up that 9 out of 10 Lesbians and Transgenders in transition failed their […]

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Included In Columbia University’s $43K Yearly Tuition…Social Work Programs Taught By Ex-Felons

Via FOX News- In the hallowed halls of Columbia University, a nest of ex-cons — who have served time for murder, attempted murder, robbery and assault — hold court on their unique brand of social justice for admiring students enrolled in the school’s social work program, a FoxNews.com investigation has found.

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Cancelled CBS Show CSI: NY to be Revived as CSNY: NY

New York City, NY – (SatireWorld.com) CBS has announced that cancelled television show CSI: New York will actually be revived as CSNY: New York. While CSI stood for Crime Scene Investigators, CSNY is the well known abbreviation for super group Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young.

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IRS Plays Favorites With Terror-Tied, Democrat-backed CAIR

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Misfeasance would be a good choice of words. While the IRS was hassling any nonprofit group with the word “patriot” in its name, it was rubberstamping exemptions for “Islamic” groups, even organizations that violate disclosure laws.

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