Archive for July, 2013

Scientists Grow New Teeth From Urine

Guangzhou, China – (SatireWorld.com) Scientists have grown rudimentary teeth out of the most unlikely of sources, human urine. The results, published in Cell Regeneration Journal, showed that urine could be used as a source of stem cells that in turn could be grown into tiny tooth-like structures.

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Uni-sex Uniforms for Military along with Standard Issue Gender Neutral Maxi-pads!

Fort Sodomy, AZ – (SatireWorld.com) Following closely on the heels of the Pentagon’s announcement they will be issuing unisex uniforms to comply with new human rights executive orders coming from ‘the top’, Health and Human services Czarina Catherine Sibelius said ObamaKare will also fund newly developed ‘same sex’ Maxi-pads!

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Weiner Says He’ll Stick It Out For The Democratic Party

New York City – (SatireWorld.com) Anthony Weiner vowed Sunday to stay in the New York City mayor’s race, as he confirmed his campaign manager quit and his top rival said he was not qualified to lead the nation’s most populous city.

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George Mason University Students Demand Abortion Option Even After Full Term Birth

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Several students at George Mason University (GMU) signed a petition on Wednesday demanding lawmakers legalize “fourth trimester” abortions.

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Obama: North Vietnam’s Ho Chi Minh Was A ‘Pretty Open Guy’ Who Was Like Our Founding Fathers

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) President Obama hailed hard-core communist revolutionary Ho Chi Minh today as a ‘pretty open guy’ who was actually inspired by the Founders of the United States.

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How Democrats Fix An Economy…For Every Job Created Adds Two More To Food Stamps

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The White House has been touting the success of its economic agenda recently, claiming to have created 7.2 million jobs. But a look at the growing rolls of the federal Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) shows that for every job the administration says it created, two Americans have been added to […]

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NYC Mayoral Candidate Anthony Weiner Caught In Another Sexting Scandal

New York City, NY – (SatireWorld.com) NYC Mayoral candidate Anthony “Underpants” Weiner has been caught in another sexting scandal. Two years after he was forced to resign from Congress and drop out of a New York City election, he has been caught with his pants down again!

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Martha’s Vineyard natives liken Obama invasion to Herpes Outbreak!

Martha’s Vineyard, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Four days after Barry Obama’s alleged Birthday, the community organizer will be ‘bundling’ his extended family, advisors, ‘body men’, and 82% of the Secret Service and sympathetic ‘journalists’ off to the beleaguered island known as “Hollywood East “for 8 nightmarish days and especially nights, for inhabitants from August 8-16.

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Manchester United Adopts the Late Jimmy Savile As Official Team Mascot

Manchester (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) The Manchester United British football team voted to adopt the late Jimmy Savile as the official team mascot, replacing the often vague and misunderstood Red Devils symbol.

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Politicians Who Let It All Hang Out Make a Comeback

New York NY – (SatireWorld.com) Disgraced politicians are making a comeback, particularly in New York State, as former Democratic Congressman Anthony Weiner and former Democratic Governor Elliot Spitzer run for office. Former South Carolina Republican Governor Mark Sanford has already received a second chance.

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MA Taxpayers Continue to Suffer Water Torture from “Big Dig” One Leak at a Time!

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) The Obama administration, and Attorney General Eric Holder just hate leaks, but the biggest one may be the boondoggle known as the “Big Dig”, an ill advised, ill managed, major embarrassment, as if a corrupt Democratic administration going back decades could ever show shame!

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Obama: “Trayvon Martin Could’ve Been Me 35 Years Ago”

The White House Press Room- (SatireWorld.com) The President aired his personal feelings on national TV for the first time about the recent trial of George Zimmerman who was charged in the killing of Trayvon Martin but was later found not guilty, but as usual, Obama had to ‘punch it up’ with political leanings and inuendo […]

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Jesse Jackson takes a page from Robert Mugabe: Asks for UN Sanctions against FL and redistribution of land and wealth.

Chicago, IL – (SatireWorld.com) Jesse Jackson, legend in his own mind, and self anointed successor to Martin Luther King announced he was going ‘all in’ with a policy attacking the state of Florida which he called an ‘apartheid” entity in need of ‘reform.”

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President Obama Calls for Noise Pollution Regulations, Maybe

Washington DC- (SatireWorld.com) President Obama has tasked the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) to examine if TV commercials constitute noise pollution and need regulation.

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Fore! Obama rounds out ESPN Foursome with Olbermann , making for a real Network Cluster!

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) ESPN announced today the return of serial liberal, demented sociopath, and all around numb-nuts Keith Olbermann in order to fill up the last slot in the Obama golf team nicknamed the “Foreskins’ by disgruntled golfers who have to give up their valued tee time to accommodate the attention deficit syndrome president.

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The More Technology Advances, The More They Screw It Up (A Satireworld Editorial)

Somewhere in New Mexico…A SATIREWORLD EDITORIAL They’ve gone off and changed my ‘damned leash’ at work. The powers that be finally got rid of the blankety-blank Blackberries, which I thoroughly loathed.

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Rolling Stone Relents: Replaces Tsarnaev Cover with Trayvon at age 5!

New York City, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Reacting to almost universal condemnation of putting a picture of Bob Dylan look alike Dzhokhar Tsarnaev on it’s cover to pull the scab off the emotional wounds after the Boston Massacre, editors backed off and went the more popular way to appease the Obama crowd by featuring Trayvon Martin.

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Other Jurors Admit They Didn’t Like Juror B-37, But All Loved Bailiff O-69

Sanford, FL – (SatireWorld.com) Members of the jury in the Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman case have come out as a majority against statements made by Juror B-37 (assignment numbers are used to protect the identity of court involved people in serious cases). That woman said that she would have voted Zimmerman guilty if the self defense […]

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PayPal Accidentally Credits SatireWorld Editor $92 Quadrillion Dollars!

Orlando, FL – (SatireWorld.com) When SatireWorld editor Bargis Tryhol opened his June PayPal e-mail statement, something was off. The jovial editor’s account balance had swelled to a whopping $92,233,720,368,547,800.

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Rachel Jeantel Wins Broward County Spelling Bee

Fort Lauderdale, FL – (SatireWorld.com) Fresh from testifying at the Trayvon Martin murder trial, 19 year old Rachel Jeantel found new glory after winning the annual Broward County Third Grade Spelling Bee.

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Rev Al (pay-no-taxes) Sharpton Shows Off New Girlfriend!

New York City, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Reverand Al Sharpton has a new, decades-younger, attractive main squeeze who’s a personal stylist and part-time tax consultant. Lately, he’s been showing her off at various galas across the country.

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Howard Worth: Thanks to ObamaCare I quit my job at Satire World!

Portsmouth (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Former UK stringer Howard Worth is just one of the 940,000 former employed who will, or have, opted out of employment thanks to ObamaCare and the Health exchanges.

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Why Racial Profiling Works

A SATIREWORLD EDITORIAL: I think most citizens feel the police and the justice system are not biased against minorities. I’ve never been stopped because I’m acting with suspicion. I expect our law enforcement people to use their street smarts and question why a wolf might be walking near the sheep pen! So, in effect profiling […]

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Piers Morgan: Rachael Confided in me She may be Carrying Barack OBAMA’S GRAND CHILE!

New York City, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Shortly after Piers Morgan concluded the nation’s crash course in ebonics with Professor Rachel Jeantel, the persecution’s (sic) star witness in the Zimmerman Inquisition, he felt compelled to release information given to him ‘off the record’ by the 19 year old Miami high school Mensa student, information that sent […]

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Black Panthers Hold Justice For Trayvon Martin Rally In Tampa! 3 People Show Up!

Tampa, FL – (SatireWorld.com) Only three demonstrators showed up at a Justice for Trayvon Martin rally organized by the New Black Panther party near a Tampa courthouse Monday.

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Editorial: President Obama Creates Another Diversion

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The golfer in chief emerged from the 19th hole, saw his shadow and decided to continue doing nothing, except ruin the USA for the next six weeks.

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Today’s Trivia Question

Today’s Trivia Question is this: What is “Double Jeopardy?”

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Reverend Al Sharpton Shown to be a White Man

New York NY – (SatireWorld.com) Preparing for a march in New York City to protest the verdict of the George Zimmerman/Trayvon Martin case just concluded in Sanford FL, the Reverend Al Sharpton tripped on a banana peel and was taken to Bellevue Hospital for observation.

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Wouldn’t You Like To Be ‘Bosom Buddies’ With Kate Upton?

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Hey! All you guys out there! I’m sure there are plenty of reasons why you would want to be friends with Kate Upton, right? Hang around with you and drink beer. Watch her run towards you wearing a tight top. Or just playing motorboat during a snowy afternoon lounging in […]

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Woman Complains After Doctor Says She Has a ‘Ghetto Booty’ Condition

Jackson,TN – (SatireWorld.com) A woman in Tennessee filed a complaint with the Tennessee Department of Health after she said a doctor told her that her back pain was caused by her ‘ghetto booty.’

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