Archive for August, 2013

Field Marshall Obama Considers A ‘Narrow Military Action’ Against Syria

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) President Barack Obama says he hasn’t made a final decision about a military strike against Syria. But he says he’s considering a limited and narrow action in response to a chemical weapons attack that he says Syria’s government carried out last week.

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If All Men Were Brothers…….

A few years back, I read a quote: “If all men were brothers, would you let one marry your sister?” This brings a lot of thoughts about equality to mind, in light of all of the current, politically correct statements that we should be colorblind in our thinking.

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PETA: Eating Chicken Wings Could Affect Penis Size

Philadelphia, PA – (SatireWorld.com) Eating chicken parts or, more specifically, chicken wings, could shrink your baby’s man parts. At least, that’s what PETA is alleging in advance of the National Buffalo Wing Festival.

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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”

“Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I heard this sermon on Sunday at church. The minister said that the number one, most important word was: “God.”

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Premature Ejaculation: Cameron Pulls out Early; Leaves Obama Hanging With ‘Blue Balls’ on Syria!

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) Euphoria turned to disappointment in the White House with the announcement that PM Dave Cameron could not muster support from Parliament to back up Obama’s single minded attempt to distract American’s from his dismal tenure as President by launching an ill advised, ill conceived, and helter skelter attack on Syria.

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Justice Department Announces It Won’t Oppose State Laws Allowing Recreational Marijuana Use

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The Justice Department announced that they will not oppose state laws in Colorado and Washington that allow recreational use of marijuana. I’m just kind of wondering what other uses besides “recreational” and the already legal “medical” are there? Is there also “business” usage of pot that will remain illegal?

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Second Banana Speaks About More Government Control of Firearms

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) Vice President Joe Biden speaking for the Obama administration announced two new gun control measures, promulgated via President Obama’s Executive Orders.

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Rosie O’Donnell Says “If I Had A Son, He’d Look Like Miley Cyrus”

Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Rosie O’Donnell announced today that she was not upset by Miley Cyrus’s performance at MTV’s VMA Awards by paraphrasing President Barack Obama and saying “If I had a son, he’d look like Miley Cyrus.” Miley upset viewers everywhere by bumping and grinding (now called “twerking” by the texting generation) and then […]

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Bozos in Boston: Beantown Politics puts final nail in city’s coffin!

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) August 29, 2019 It took 6 years, but the Massachusetts Gaming Commission finally awarded a multi-million dollar security fence contract to protect the rest of metro Boston from the continuing ravages of Mayor Tom Menino’s Casino in East Boston!

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California to Protect Gay and Lesbian Cows

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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”

Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, Have you been watching that new show “Under the Dome” on Monday nights? In the show, there’s these teenagers that keep having seizures and saying something about “The Pink Stars are falling!” What the heck are the pink stars?

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MSNBC Reports….’France Surrenders To Syria!’

Paris, France- (SatireWorld.com) Not waiting for shots to be fired in their direction while the US bombs Syria over poison gas usage against its own civilians, the French government officially hoisted a gigantic white flag over Paris this morning signaling their intent to capitulate to Syrian demands made by Syrian President Assad as he symbolically […]

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Russian Official Says-“Obama’s Syrian Policy Is Like A Monkey Holding A Hand Grenade!”

Moscow, Russia – (SatireWorld.com) A firebrand Russian nationalist-turned-senior official said Tuesday that the West, and Obama in particular, was acting in the Islamic world like a “monkey with a hand grenade.” Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin, Russia’s former envoy to NATO, did not elaborate on his comparison, made on his Russian-language Twitter page. But Rogozin, […]

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Secretary of State Kerry Invites Previous Secretary’s of State to the White House

Washington DC: The Middle East situation has deteriorated significantly since President Obama spoke in Cairo Egypt in June 2009 about an Arab awakening/Arab Spring. The Arab countries of Egypt, Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Libya, Yemen, Jordan and the Gulf States are in political turmoil, sectarian violence or outright internal civil warfare and al Qaeda is reemerging.

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The Miley Cyrus Question: It’s Nurture, Not Nature (A Satireworld Editorial)

A SATIREWORLD EDITORIAL Country singer and father Billy Ray Cyrus sits in his Tennessee home with an Achy Breaky Heart. His condition has nothing to do with his music, but everything to do with his daughter. This week, Miley became the latest in a line of “Disney Skanks” with her performance at the MTV Video […]

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Robo Telemarketers…How One Man Fought Back

Warwick, Rhode Island Robo-callers. Yes, we all experience these phone solicitations at times where they’re selling donations, home repairs, political contributions, or life insurance. They seem to call just as we lie down for a nap, or slide our chair up to the dinner table. Most are just annoying and go away when you say […]

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DWS Refuses to touch A. Weiner, but admits she did have an erotic encounter with an Electric Eel which curled her hair!

Boa Raton, FL – (SatireWorld.com) D&C national chairman Debbie Washerwoman Schultz (DWS) refused to get drawn into taking a position on Anthony Weiner’s run for mayor of NYC saying “We’re not touching Weiner right now with so many other phony scandals to defend against!” (too many pricks in the fire, eh?)

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Jets Decide “They Both Suck” and Announce They’ll Start 70 Year Old Joe Namath As Quarterback

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) In the words of New York Jets’ coaches: “Mark Sanchez Sucks! Geno Smith sucks! The other rookies in camp suck!” Frustrated by their inability to find a quarterback, the team announced this morning that they are signing former Super Bowl MVP QB Joe Willie Namath to a five year, $150 […]

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US Army’s First ‘All Lesbian Division’ Set To Deploy To Syria

Camp Backdoor, CA – (SatireWorld.com) They’ve been waiting for orders like these for almost two years. Now, that the President’s bluff has been called by Syria’s Assad’s use of nerve agents against civilians, the 5,000 rapid response force of the Fighting 69th is ready for action.

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San Francisco Residents Upset As Wildfires Destroy Homes, Businesses

San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Residents of San Francisco are upset as raging wildfires continue to burn and grow. These wildfires have destroyed forests, homes, and businesses and are also threatening the power supply and water supply in northern California.

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British Forces To Join US Navy In Syrian Nerve Gas Retaliation

London(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Britain is planning to join forces with America and launch military action against Syria within days in response to the gas attack believed to have been carried out by President Bashar al-Assad’s forces against his own people.

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Rachel Maddow changes name to “Richard” for Al-jazeera Debut. “Dick” for Short?

Gayville, IN – (SatireWorld.com) Following the announcement from Gay/Lesbian PFC Bradley/Chelsea Manning that he was ‘dazed and confused” over the proper use of his ‘privates’ and thought he’d give his feminine side an audition, it appears Gender Reassignment is ‘trending now!”

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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”

Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, I got me some questions about this new movie called “The Butler.”

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Obama: “I was Real Cool in 2008. Now Voters Think I’m A Dud!”

San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Hold on…Did I hear this right? Speaking at yet another Democratic fundraiser Tuesday, Obama admitted for the first time that being a supporter of his doesn’t have the same cool factor it did almost five years ago. “It’s not as trendy to be an Obama supporter as it was back […]

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Rash of Robberies seen in Seattle Washington

Seattle WA – (SatireWorld.com) Seattle City Council members and local law enforcement officials were perplexed over a sudden spike in the number of robberies of businesses located in the downtown area of the city.

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Anthony Weiner In Minor Car Crash In New York City

NEW YORK CITY, NY – (SatireWorld.com) New York City mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner has emerged unscathed from a minor car crash on a busy Manhattan highway.

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Reverends Jackson and Sharpton Mugged in Chicago

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) The Reverends Jackson and Sharpton attended a protest march in the Auburn-Gresham neighborhood on Chicago’s south side. They were pimping for the ladies of the Chicago Prostitutes Union (CPU). The ladies desire an increase in the minimum service wage, full Obamacare coverage and free Electronic Benefit Transfer (EBT) cards (food stamps).

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Warner Brothers Concedes: Affleck OUT, Obama IN as new BATMAN after fan Blacklash!

Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Acceding to the demands of what he called “the voice of the American People’, Barack Obama has agreed to take on the role of Bruce Wayne in the next Batman episode after a fan backlash against Ben Affleck flooded social networking sites, and Obama’s own tax free super PAC, OFA (Organizing […]

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Obama Commutes Pvt. Bradley Manning’s Spy Sentence…Promotes Him to Top White House Position

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) After spending less than 72 hours in Fort Leavenworth Federal Prison, convicted spy Pvt. Bradley Manning has received a full pardon from President Barack Obama and a new posting at the White House as an Army Security Detail member who’s in charge of trans-gender issues.

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Obama Acts Decisively about Gas Attack

Washington DC- (SatireWorld.com) President Obama was hosting a luncheon in the White House dining room for some of his Democratic supporters when his Secret Service detail burst into the room.

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