Archive for November, 2013

Jimmy Carter Legacy to be RESET; Grandson Rides Wave of “Nostalgia” in Bid to be GA Governor!

Decatur, GA – (SatireWorld.com) As if there aren’t enough nutz in the Democratic party, news out of Plains, GA indicate that the grandson of Jimmy ‘Peanut’ Carter has thrown his hat in the ring for the governorship banking on what he claims is ‘nostalgia’ for the much simpler times of grandpa Jimmy!

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Beckham’s hazing confession: “I Was Forced Into Self-Sex Acts While at Manchester United”

Manchester (UK) – SatireWorld.com) David Beckham was forced to perform a humiliating sex act while looking at a photo of soccer fan Ian Youngs during a bizarre homoerotic hazing ritual, the soccer star admits in a new documentary.

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Forget Black Friday, It’s Time for Red, White & Blue Friday

Forget Black Friday, It’s Time for Red, White & Blue Friday

A SatireWorld Guest Editorial… We spend so much time working like hell to spend so much money buying worthless crap made in China to impress people we might not even like. This year, let’s skip the sweatshop goods and buy local to make Christmas truly great. You’ve got a few bucks to spend, you want […]

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Michelle books visit to Planned Parenthood after Malia claims she’s ‘got a turkey in the oven!”

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) Hysterical turmoil at the White House this morning after Malia Obama tweets “big day…got a turkey in the oven after I got stuffed by Justin Bieber!”

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Obama Wants A Table-top Conversation…Here’s Talking Points For Family & Friends Over Thanksgiving Turkey

Anytown, USA – (SatireWorld.com) President Obama has asked millions of Americans to show their support for his programs and Obamacare by directing Thanksgiving dinner conversation toward Obamacare and the success of other Obama administration initiatives in an effort to boost his flagging poll numbers. So, here’s some tips in having that discussion with Aunt Edna […]

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Poll Rates Ronald Reagan Best President and Barack Obama The Worst

Kansas City, KS – (SatireWorld.com) Former President Ronald Reagan has edged out Franklin D. Roosevelt and John F. Kennedy as the nation’s greatest president in over a century, and President Obama was rated the biggest failure by a sizable margin over George W. Bush, Richard Nixon and Jimmy Carter, according to a new poll.

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Al Gore Caught Up In Big Lifestyle Change Drama…Has First Bowel Movement In 20 Years!

Oxford, MA – (SatireWorld.cvom) Former Vice President Al Gore has successfully completed his first ‘BM’ in over twenty years says People Magazine.

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The Last Frontier: Kayne West and Kardashians to Fund First All Black Hockey Team!

New York City, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Claiming that the NHL underestimates his “power and influence”, Kayne West fresh off his ego trip to Europe announced he and the Kardashians were buying the Aneheim Ducks of the NHL and stocking it will an ‘all world team comprised of championship caliber black athletes from Norway, Sweden, Denmark […]

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SatireWorld’s Captain America Fired From Part-time Mall Santa Job

Dingleberry, SC – (SatireWorld.com) At the Dingleberry Regional Mall there was a bit of excitement during the first official day of the holiday shopping season…Mall officials fired Santa Claus!

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US Nuclear Inspection Team Selected For Iranian Nuke Compliance Checks

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Administration officials confirmed today that the two man nuclear inspection team selected to inspect compliance issues with the Iranian government will be leaving on April 1st to lay the groundwork for nuclear inspection preparations and site planning for follow-up teams. The two-man team will meet with Iranian officials in Tehran.

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Rare Reagan-Obama Photo Found! Shows ‘The Gipper’ Bottle Feeding Infant Barack Obama At Honolulu Rally

. Simian Valley, CA – (SatireWorld.com) The Ronald Reagan Library released priviously unseen photos of a young Ronald Reagan holding an infant who’s no other than infant Barack Hussein Obama, the future president of the United States.

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White Woman Claims Watching 3-D Film Made Her Pregnant With A Black Child

Fort Bragg, NC – (SatireWorld.com) A white American couple gave birth to black baby boy in August at the Army hospital located in the sprawling Fort Bragg complex. The very surprised woman claimed she had become pregnant while watching a 3-D porno movie in a public theater! The child’s equally surprised father James Francis, a […]

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Vancouver BC….Where You Can Ski, Golf, and Masturbate In Public All On The Same Day!

Vancouver, BC – (SatireWorld.com) Known as the sexy Hollywood of the North, Vancouver British Columbia is one of the few destinations where one can ski and golf on the same day. These are just two of the many wonderful things to know about Vancouver. Here’s another one: incidents of public masturbation are on the rise.

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A Modest Proposal: Why Not Sharia for America?

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) In 1729 Jonathan Swift, an early English spoof writer born long before Satire World, proposed that in order to overcome the Irish famine the people of Ireland eat their own children in order to survive.

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Michelle’s Pleas for Ugly Lesbians to Join Obama’s Female Army Wildy Successful in SF!

San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Michelle Obama appeared in SF’s Castro district today as part of her Obama War Bond tour to raise money in the War against Conservatives, and to encourage ‘more of you ugly women to join the ranks of Barry’s standing army!”

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Progressives Dick-tate Mandate for new “Super Condom”; Put $ Where Their Mouth Is!

Manchester (UK)- (SatireWorld.com) ” Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and now Super Lubricated!” Graphene is now the Super Condom developed by progressives to ease the pain of ObamaCare, Global Warming, EPA mandates, Harry Reid’s Nuclear Option and Debbie Wasserman Schultz.

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Obamacare: So Simple Even a Dog Gets It!

Quicksand, SC – (SatireWorld.com) Shortly after reading about how a Colorado resident was surprised to find that his dog qualified for a Gold Level Plan on the Obamacare website, I was not overly shocked to find that my Golden Retriever had also enrolled himself in the President’s signature plan despite the sites numerous complexities.

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Obama Hopes A Turkey Pardon Extends to Himself Over the Obamacare Disaster

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) With 15% of the American people on food stamps and unemployment increasing as thousands lay off workers due to healthcare cost fears, President Obama took some time off from his 165th round of golf to pardon a turkey for Thanksgiving.

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Future Watch…..The National Day of Substantial Regret (formerly ‘Thanksgiving’) Circa 2025 AD

Smallville, MA – (SatireWorld.com) “Winston!!!! Come into the dining room, it’s time to eat,” Julia yelled to her husband. “In a minute, honey, it’s a tie score,” he answered. Actually Winston wasn’t very interested in the traditional holiday football game between Detroit and Washington. Ever since the government passed the Civility in Sports Statute of […]

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Triumphant Iran Negotiator Valerie Jarrett Returns to US: “PEACE IN OUR TIME!”

Chicago,IL – (SatireWorld.com) Shadow President With Portfolio Valerie Jarrett arrived at O’Hare Airport on Air Force 2 early this morning to be met as a rock star after concluding secret talks with Iran over nuclear options, new trade agreements, and several signed ‘non aggression’ pacts with Israeli neighbors.

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Another Week…Another Obama Scandal

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Just as the hits to the Obama Administration’s credibility rise from a bare whisper four years ago to a mighty roar today, it was announced that the U.S. government in the final months leading up to the 2012 presidential election released “faked” unemployment data, crushing protests from the Romney camp who […]

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Dallas’ Lee Harvey Oswald Band Plays To ‘Standing Room’ Only Crowds During 50th Anniversary Assassination Rememberences

Dallas, Texas – (SatireWorld.com) Rockers Lee Harvey Oswald and Jack Ruby have a few kind words for their fans…’We love you guys!’ Ever since the rock group ‘The Lee Harvey Oswald Band’ was formed fifty years ago, success still seems to follow them wherever they play.

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The Knock Out King Game….So Where’s Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson?

New York City, NY – (SatireWorld.com) A new deadly “game” called “Knockout” is crossing the nation, especially among black teenagers, in which they try to punch a randomly-selected person walking by on the street so hard with one blow that knocks them unconscious—but the results have sometime proven fatal. More often than not it’s a […]

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Obama’s EPA New Rules Cite Weiner: ” Too Much Lead in his Pencil!”

New York City, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Once again the rogue EPA agency is sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong announcing a new set of rules affecting the country’s safety and banning tens of thousands of new fire hydrants for having lead parts.

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Satire World Hooks up with Obamacare Navigator! Priceless!

South Side Chicago – (SatireWorld.com) Phone rings in background, answers, sounds of Jay-Z rapping in background, clinking of glasses, screams and multiple shots heard:

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New US President Sworn In

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) President Barack Obama was found sleeping at his desk in the White House Oval Office. (Republicans wondered what else was new.) The White House immediately went to Department of Homeland Security (DHS) red alert terrorism status.

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Anthony Weiner Sticks Up (sic) Against Gun Control!

New York City, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Former NY Congressman Anthony (Tony for short) Weiner is busy reinventing himself as he attempts to rehabilitate his sticky image as he plans an eventual political comeback.

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Massive Iceberg Heading To Los Angeles!

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) A massive iceberg drifting from Antarctica could spell disaster for Los Angeles if it floats too far away from the continent.

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Tom Cruise…”Acting Is As Tough As Anything Any Soldier Goes Through In Afghanistan”

Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Several days ago, (and probably on Veterans Day), actor Tom Cruise told reporters that when acting, he finds it as tough as what US troops go through in Afghanistan during combat.

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SW Quiz: If you believe these 10 Tenets You may be a Liberal!

Editor Bargis Tryhol sent the entire staff of Satire World out on the streets of Blue America to conduct a questionnaire on what makes a liberal a liberal in today’s Progressive America.

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