Archive for June, 2014

Nancy Pelosi to Reprise Role in Sequel to ‘Brazil’ Movie

Hollywood,CA – (satireworld.com) Nancy Pelosi has agreed to appear in the sequel to the 1985 movie, Brazil. The trippy movie based on George Orwell’s book, 1984, is scheduled to be released in late 2015.

Full Story

Arkansas Announces Plans to Clean Up State for Tourism and Such

Arkansas Announces Plans To Clean Up State For Tourism ======================================================

Full Story

Long Lines at Golden Gate Bridge as Suicidal Bridge Jumpers Rush To Beat Safety Net Installation

San Francisco, CA – (satireworld.com) The City by the Bay showed its frustration as scores of potential suicidal bridge jumpers arrived at Golden Gate Park each looking for a place in a long line that lead up to the Golden Gate Bridge pedestrian walkway.

Full Story

It’s Time For A Few Riddles!

Jman’s Corner Yes, boys and girls, it is time to solve a few riddles. Get your thinking caps on and your funny bones ready, because here they come! Your old buddy Jalapenoman wrote most of these back between 2006 and 2011, but I’ve decided to dust them off and let you read them again.

Full Story

Golden Gate Bridge “Suicide Net System” to Attract Acrobats From Around the Globe

San Francisco – (satireworld.com) The city council has approved spending tens of millions of dollars to construct a system of safety nets under the Golden Gate Bridge in an attempt to thwart future suicide attempts which have plagued the landmark for decades.

Full Story

Actress Emma Watson Admits That One Of Her Internet “Fake Nudes” Is Real

London UK – (satireworld.com) British actress Emma Watson, who played Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter series of films, admitted today that one of her “fake nudes” posted on the internet is actually her. Watson, who is twenty-four years old, is the subject of thousands of photo-shopped nude pictures on the World Wide Web.

Full Story

Congressional Black Caucus Raises Rates to buy votes citing overhead and cost of ObamaCare!

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) After years claiming ‘we sold out cheap’, the Congressional Black Caucus announced today that they were raising the going rates to buy the votes of African- Americans in the upcoming mid term elections to a ‘living wage’ of $25…..’two fer $45, six fer $125!”

Full Story

Satire World Editor lauded for raising minimum wage for struggling writers to $12 a word, $25 for words used in imaginary quotes!

Somewhere in Florida….(satireworld.com) Bargis Tryhol became an overnight hero for free lance writers when he said “it’s time to close the gap between the pay scale for real writers who have something to say and washed up politicians who employ ghost writers and get $14M advances telling lies!”

Full Story

Feds Open No-Kill Shelter for Immigrants on Texas/Mexico Border

Laredo, TX – (satireworld.com) The federal government has opened a new no-kill shelter in this border town to help find homes for thousands of new illegal immigrants who continue flooding into the country.

Full Story

Letter to President Obama

Jo and Alex Smith Phoenix AZ: Dear Mr. President. My wife Jo and I decided to take early retirement at 62 and 63, respectively. Our house is paid for, our kids have gone through college paid for by us working two jobs and are now married. We own two 10 year old paid for automobiles, […]

Full Story

Abuse of Power? Obama caught using drones to deliver Pizzas at 3 a.m. to White House!

The White House – (satireworld.com) In yet another instance of the failure of Michelle’s mandate against Obesity, and abuse of power by the Messiah in Chief, SW is now able to report that Barry’s cravings for ‘soul food’ is so great, he has been ordering Chicago Style Pizza from Cicero, Il. delivered by government drones […]

Full Story

North Korea Warns of ‘State of War’ Between Satire World and Pyongyang After Photos Emerge

Pyongyang, North Korea – (satireworld) The war of words has heated up in recent days between the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, aka North Korea, and a respected American online publication known for its cutting edge humor. Satireworld.com says threats of being in a state of ‘war’ have surfaced after a series of photos were […]

Full Story

Nation’s Homeless Aspire to Become as ‘Dead Broke’ as Clintons

Atlanta – (satireworld.com) By now, it’s become public knowledge that the Clintons have had a tough life these past twenty years. The struggle they have faced as multimillionaires is well documented and admirable.

Full Story

“My Hard Drive Crashed” = In… as Most Used Excuse, “Dog Ate my Homework” = Out

Rio Linda, CA – (satireworld.com) People have excuses for everything. For years, kids have notoriously used the well-known excuse, “My dog ate my homework”, when wanting to excuse why they didn’t do their homework.

Full Story

PHOTO OF THE DAY

Well, fair is fair.Right IRS?

Full Story

Sec. John Kerry…’Army’s First All Gay Brigade Deploying To Help Iraq Repel ISIS Forces’

US ARMY HEADQUARTERS,Iraq – (SatireWorld.com) Secretary of State John Kerry lived up to his promise by including gay and lesbian soldiers as part of the State Department’s security outreach program where gay, lesbian, and transgendered security employees will be dispatched to trouble spots around the globe. The Fighting 69th Brigade has begun to land troops […]

Full Story

New NFL Football Team Briefly Considered

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) The latest ruling by the US Patent and Trademark Office cancelling the Washington Redskins’ “Trade Mark” Indian Head logo, saying that the logo is offensive to Native Americans has hardened the owner’s resolve to keep the team name and logo. According to many conservative columnists the only Indian tribe offended by […]

Full Story

Bill and Hillary…’Hey! We’re Just Like You Little Guys!’

Denver, CO – (satireworld.com) During a Clinton Global Initiative event in Denver Tuesday, former president Bill Clinton tried to defend his wife from claims that she’s out of touch with average Americans.

Full Story

IRS Commissioner Gollum Gets Grilled by Congress About His Precious Agency

Washington D.C. – (satireworld.com) This week has not been kind to Gollum and his “precious” agency, the Internal Revenge Service, as the creature has been on the hot seat having to answer for the mysterious disappearance of Lois Lerner’s relevant emails.

Full Story

Kerry under fire in Iraq: petitions for yet another Purple Heart after getting hit in head by shoe during insulting parliament address naming new Transgender Ambassador!

Baghdad, Iraq – (satireworld.com) Secretary of State John Kerry was met with shock and disgust today after announcing “since your country could go either way in the next 48 hours, I’m making good on my promise to my LBGT supporters and assigning a transgender person to become the next ambassador to Iraq!”

Full Story

Bill Clinton: “Contrary to Ed Klein’s Book, Hillary Does Not Have Acute Angina’

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Ed Klein’s newly released book ‘Blood Feud’ revealed that ex- Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has a heart ailment that she has kept secret hoping to avoid controversy that would hinder her chances to become president in 2016. Clinton addressed her physical ailments before a questioning press corp today in lieu […]

Full Story

Winnie the Pooh Comes Out of the Closet

(Toon Town, the 100 Acre Wood, Jellystone Park, and Hollywood) – (satireworld.com) Winnie the Pooh, that willy, nilly, silly old bear, announced at a news conference in Toon Town that he is gay. The revelation, of course, drew no astonishment from those in attendance. The surprise, however, was reserved for the revelation of his lover […]

Full Story

After Dismal Sales, Publisher Recommends Other Uses For Hillary Clinton Book

New York City – (satireworld.com) Publishing giant Simon & Schuster, desperate to find a way to turn a profit on Hillary Clinton’s new book “Hard Choices”, has come out with other possible uses for the book. The company hopes to entice some who don’t intend to read the book to purchase it anyway.

Full Story

Hope Solo, US Women’s Soccer Goalie, Can’t Stop Slapping Things Down

Seattle – (satireworld.com) Hope Solo, the hot goalie and star of the Team USA Soccer team, is used to swatting things away. Everything from soccer balls to guys constantly hitting on her. But now it looks like the beauty might be taking her work home with her.

Full Story

“Anal Seepage” Voted Least Favorite Thing To Discover In A Chair

Las Cruces, NM – (satireworld.com) In a poll conducted by The Harvard Institute of Silly Surveys That Waste Government Money But Provide Work For Tenured Professors, Lazy Students and ACORN Workers, Anal Seepage was voted “The Least Favorite Thing To Find In A Chair.”

Full Story

Harold Worth Reporting From the World Cup: “Great Britain Eliminated From World Cup”

(Brazil) – World Cup As part of Satireworld’s desire to be international and cover news all around the globe, I am currently working in Brazil to cover the World Cup. This is, other than the Olympics, the most viewed sports tournament on Planet Earth! Instead of giving you “blow by blow” actions of the games […]

Full Story

TV Show Schedule Revealed For “Who Wants to be a Hilton?”

Hollywood,CA – (satireworld.com) Network executives leaked to the press today the schedule for the upcoming reality series “Who Wants To Be a Hilton?” The show will star the mother of the famous Hilton sisters and will try to turn a group of middle, lower, and classless people into upper caste classless socialites without morals (or […]

Full Story

PHOTO OF THE DAY

Meanwhile, in La-La land Homos everywhere go on pretending to be normal and expecting YOU to buy into the fantasy as well or be called homophobic.

Full Story

Southern Border Swamped With Sick Central American Refugees Ordered To ‘Head North’ For Free Treatment

US Southern Border – (satireworld.com) Central American political leaders have found an innovative process to rid their hospital and clinic wards of sick and dying patients who are too poor to pay. Honduran bus lines and Guatemalan freight truckers are transporting thousands of sick citizens northward to the US border and dumping them near he […]

Full Story

Rep. Steve Stockman (R-Texas) is proposing “The Dog Ate My Tax Receipts Act”

Washington, DC Rep. Steve Stockman (R-Texas) is proposing “The Dog Ate My Tax Receipts Act”. After the IRS gave unbelievable excuses as to why it could not produce emails Lois Lerner and six other people, Stockman is proposing that we all should be able to avail ourselves of similarly lame excuses.

Full Story