Archive for May, 2015

Nancy ‘Pope-losi’ Calls Marco Rubio a Bad Catholic

WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com) As white smoke finally escaped into the blue skies from the chimney in the Capitol building this weekend, liberals everywhere cheered the election of their new religious leader, Nancy Pope-losi ( D-Delusional).  Mrs. Pope-losi has been the Democratic leader in politics since the days the dinosaurs roamed the earth but, in […]

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Debut of ‘Hillary Clinton: The Comic Book,’ Just Shoot Us Now

CHICAGO – (satireworld.com) The old adage “just because you CAN do something, doesn’t mean you should” doesn’t apply to the Hillary Clinton campaign. Now the people at Bluewater Productions (no relation to the Whitewater or Blue Dress scandals) are launching a comic book chronicling the adventures of Mrs. Clinton as she fights against all odds […]

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Pope Francis Summons the US Ambassador for a Chat

Vatican City – (satireworld.com) Pope Francis summoned the US Ambassador to the Holy See for an informal chat about former Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA) “throwing his hat into the ring” to run for President of the United States.

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South Carolina Woman Almost Fooled by Hillary’s Fake Southern Accent

COLUMBIA, SC During a campaign stop today, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton broke out her southern twang in a sad attempt to seem more relatable to the local folk. Many eyes rolled when she began using the accent, embarrassed that the former first lady actually thinks the tactic works in winning voters to her side. But […]

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Muslim Cleric Issues Pregnancy Cautions Over Masterbation

Istanbul, Turkey – (satireworld.com) A Muslim cleric has warned that men who pleasure themselves could make their hands pregnant in the afterlife.

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Police Denied Donuts In New Justice Department Race Relations Report

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) In scathing report issued by the Justice Department, partly in lieu of recent racial charges over police mistreatment of black suspects, the attorney general has proposed sweeping changes on America’s 7,500 police chiefs and their agencies.

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It’s Not Just Delivery …..It’s Obamacare Regulated Pizza!

Ann Arbor MI: (satireworld.com) Domino’s Pizza is being plagued by a section of ObamaCare which requires large chain restaurants to have signs in their shops showing the calorie content of all the ingredients contained in the purchased food item, e.g. pizza.

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New Travel Services For Racial Protesters Launches

CLEVELAND – (satireworld.com) Thanks to pioneers in the race-hustling industry like Al Sharpton, protesting racial crimes in our country has become big business. Many of the same people who were protesting in Florida after the death of Trayvon Martin, have surfaced as racial activists in Ferguson, Baltimore, and now Cleveland. Magical destinations all, but how […]

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Obama-Let Me Be Perfectly Clear About Climate Change

New London CT – (satireworld.com) President Obama speaking at the Coast Guard Academy graduation ceremony warned the new graduate Ensigns of climate change (global warming by a politically correct name) as a threat to US national security. The president tied severe weather to the rise of the extremist group Boko Haram in Nigeria, the civil […]

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Rappers Line Up 2 Endorse Hillary: “Time For a White Bitch to Run the Show”

NEW YORK CITY – (satireworld.com) If early indications hold true, Hillary Clinton already has the coveted rapper voting bloc all sewn up. So far, Waka Flocka Flame, Ja Rule, Snoop Dogg, A$AP Rocky, and others have announced they’ll be doing all they can to get the former Secretary of State elected in 2016. Jeb Bush […]

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CBS Throws Letterman Set in Dumpsters; Later Found, Now in Kramer’s Apartment

NEW YORK CITY – (satireworld.com) Just one day after David Letterman wrapped his iconic 33 year run in late-night TV, stagehands spent the day breaking up and throwing away the Letterman set pieces and theater chairs that audience members were sitting in less than twenty-four hours earlier. Shocked onlookers watched in horror as pieces they […]

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Al Gore Speaks to the Flat Earth Society

London UK – (satireworld.com) Al Gore was invited to speak at the May meeting of the modern day Flat Earth Society (FES) London Branch (LB) about his theories of greenhouse gases causing Global Warming/Climate Change and the catastrophic results. Mr. Gore, 15 of his associates and 10 reporters boarded two of his private jets to […]

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Footage Shows Pee Wee Herman Accidentally Started Biker Fight in Waco

WACO – (satireworld.com) Video footage from the parking lot of the Twin Peaks restaurant show that Pee Wee Herman accidentally started the big biker fight this past weekend. Witnesses from inside the restaurant at the time say that Pee Wee had just regaled the crowd of bikers with a bad-to-the-bone performance of the song Tequila! […]

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‘West Baltimore Story’ Musical Opens and Closes

Baltimore MD – (satireworld.com) A new musical production of West Baltimore Story opened outside in the streets of Charm City in late April 2015 to mixed reviews by local police, State Troopers and Maryland’s National Guard.

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Clinton’s Reclassify ‘Middle Class’ to Include Multimillionaires

NEW YORK CITY – (satireworld.com) As news that enormous speaking fees gave Bill and Hillary Clinton between $25-30 million in income for 2014, the revelation has dealt a blow to Mrs. Clinton’s talking point about her being a ‘champion for the middle class’.  Many feel the Clinton’s are out-of-touch with everyday Americans because of their […]

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Zero Population Growth Activists Propose Only Same Sex Marriage be Allowed

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) Just when you think you’ve heard it all in this city, another group of nuts comes to town to testify before the US Supreme Court. On April 28, 2015 the Supreme Court heard oral arguments about “Same Sex Marriage.” Specifically, the Court was tasked with addressing two questions: 1) whether states must […]

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Stephanopoulos to Debut “My Week in Bias” Segment on ABC

NEW YORK CITY  – (satireworld.com) Now that ABC’s George Stephanopoulos’s secret financial connections to the Clinton’s has become public news, the chief anchor for the network is trying to figure out how he can save his ass and his cushy position. Only Democrats have bought into the notion over the years that George is a […]

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Man With One Leg Claims… “I’ve Never Been Busier Kicking Asses”

Durham, NC – (satireworld.com) Morris Helms says he’s never been busier! The retired veteran, who looks a healthy 50 instead of almost 65, says ever since he read an ad looking for contestants in a local contest he’s been very busy on Saturday nights. “It’s like taking candy from a baby!”

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West Coast ‘Big One’ Just Months Away Says Experts

San Francisco, CA – (satireworld.com) A new environmental report blames automobiles for the rise in Tectonic activity mainly in the Pacific rim, and at various locations along the eastern seaboard of the US. Advisories have been forwarded to the US West Coast in anticipation of the ‘Big One’ which is expected to strike in the […]

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UK Man Has Head Injury Repaired Using 3-D Printer and Super Glue

Portsmouth (UK) – (satireworld.com) Doctors at Queen Alexandra Hospital have used 3D printing technology to replace most of a man’s missing skull in an innovative procedure which included using simple Super Glue in a process that is sure to revolutionize orthopedic surgery.

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Man Wakes Up In Morgue

(Portsmouth (UK) – (satireworld.com) It was one of those nights for 68 year old Ian Younge. One of those nights when “just gimmee one more” seemed like a good idea – but in fact really wasn’t such a good idea. Younge was found dressed in woman’s clothing while passed out on a bus stop bench […]

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CafeSpike Owner Holds His Breath Over Jimmy Savile Document Release

Portsmouth(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Thousands of pages of information gathered over the BBC’s decision to discontinue its investigation into alleged abuse by Jimmy Savile are set to be made public on Friday, much to the worry of a British spoofer’s site CafeSpike, and the son of the accused pedophile.

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Entire British Website Embraces Islam

Portsmouth (UK) – (satireworld.com) A Muslim covert who was beaten rather severely several times for trying to impose sharia law on British websites claims to have converted numerous writers to a radical form of Islam during his time working patrons at various local pubs in the evening hours according to the Times.

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VP Biden Kidnapped By Aliens

New York NY – (satireworld.com) Vice President Joe Biden was invited by Al Sharpton, host of “PoliticsNation” airing on MSNBC News TV, for an interview. VP Biden discussed his new tell all book “My Friend Barack Obama.”

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Blue Bell Lays Off 1400 Workers After Listeria Flavored Ice Cream Bombs

Austin, TX – (satireworld.com) Blue Bell Creameries will lay off more than a third of its workforce following a series of listeria contamination problems linked to its packaged ice cream that prompted a nationwide recall of all its products, the Texas company announced Friday.

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MSNBC’s Chris Matthews Blames ‘Lack of Straight Lines’ For Amtrak Crash

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) In two separate segments on his May 13 Softballs With Chris Matthews program, MSNBC anchor Chris Matthews blamed “curves” on the Amtrak passenger rail route for Tuesday night’s train crash.

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New England Patriots Sign Thom Braydee to Play For Suspended Brady

FOXBOROUGH – (satireworld.com) In a surprise announcement today from the New England Patriot’s football team, Coach Bill Belichick told reporters that the team has signed a previously un-drafted quarterback to start the four games that embattled star quarterback Tom Brady has been suspended for, following the investigation into the ball-deflating scandal from last season. The […]

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Nation Grateful That Hillary is Keeping Her Mouth Shut

WASHINGTON D.C.  – (satireworld.com) While beltway pundits and reporters are upset that Hillary Clinton has been MIA when it comes to answering questions they would like to ask the presidential contender, most Americans are more than relieved that the former First Lady has decided to just zip it. According to a recent survey, nearly all […]

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ISIS Furious That Winning Drawing at Muhammad Cartoon Event ‘Wasn’t Even That Good’

GARLAND, TX – (satireworld.com) Now that the controversy over the Draw Muhammad event in this Texas city has subsided for the moment, Muslim scholars and members of ISIS are reacting with outrage that the drawing chosen as the winning entry “wasn’t even that good,” with some even saying that it sucked.

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College Graduates Grateful to Hear First Lady Bitch About Life of Luxury

TUSKEGEE, AL  – (satireworld.com) At a commencement speech over the weekend at Tuskegee University, this year’s college graduates had their dreams come true. They got to listen to Michelle Obama bitch about how hard life is for the rich and famous. The First Lady taught the students a valuable life lesson – that life doesn’t […]

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