Archive for October, 2015

NASA Posts Warning On Imminent 5.0+ Magnitude L.A. Earthquake – Blames Global Warming!

Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com) A report blames automobiles for the rise in tectonic activity mainly in the Pacific rim, and at various locations along the eastern seaboard of the US. Advisories have been forwarded to the US West Coast in anticipation of the ‘Big One’ which is expected to strike in the next few […]

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Biden Accidentally Announces Run For Speaker of the House

WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com) Vice-President Joe Biden confused supporters today when he announced that he was running for Speaker of the House, instead of seeking the presidency. Aides thought the 74 year-old Democratic dinosaur was joking at first, until they remembered who was speaking.

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#BlackLivesMatter Activist’s New Gig, Crashing Stages at White People Concerts

SEATTLE – (satireworld.com) Due to their amazing success in storming and taking over the stage at a Bernie Sanders rally over the weekend, members of #BlackLivesMatter (#BLM) have put out the word to their followers to forcibly take over every concert stage where Honkey’s and Cracka’s are in heavy attendance.

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‘The Bernie’ Haircut Biggest Style Trend Since ‘The Rachel’

Liberal Land, MA – (satireworld.com) As America gets to know the socialist in Bernie Sanders, they are quickly learning something else about him. He’s a ladies man. A chick magnet. And it’s not his policies that are winning the women over, it’s the wild, wiry, white head of hair that are driving Democratic females crazy. […]

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‘No North Korean Nukes Without Background Check’ Claims Joe Biden

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The powers at the White House are downplaying the recent war drum rhetoric from militant generals in North Korea concerning a possible pre-emptive nuclear weapon strike against the US or its Pacific military bases.

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Democrat Uninvited From Debate Because of Her Looks

LAS VEGAS – (satireworld.com) The vice-chair of the Democratic National Committee (DNC), Hawaii Democrat Tulsi Gabbard, was told by the head of the DNC that she would not be allowed to attend the first Democratic presidential debate. At first, Gabbard thought the reason for her invitation being rescinded was because she has been asking the […]

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Clock Boy Builds ‘Way Back’ Machine

Dallas, TX- (satireworld.com) Ahmed Mohamed, the Texas youth who was briefly detained Sept. 14 when he brought a clock-like device that looked like a bomb in to school, claims he’s built a Way-Back Machine’ that allows time travel.

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Howard Beale…The ‘Prophet of 1976’ Still Makes Sense For 2016!

satireworld.com Howard Beale way back in 1976 said….. “I don’t have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It’s like a depression. Everybody’s out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel’s worth, banks are going bust, shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter.”

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White House Trick or Treat Effort Falls Flat

The White House – (satireworld.com) President Barack Obama stunned his staff last night when he and a few members of Congress showed up at a White House Halloween costume party dressed as KKK Klansmen! The party was co-hosted by longtime Hollywood icon, and 'Barry' Obama supporter, singer/activist Barbara Streisand who donned a hood herself proclaiming […]

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TODAY’S PHOTO MINUTE….

satireworld.com presents..The relevant photo of the day!

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L.A. Thousands Plan Big Halloween Night At Michael Jackson’s Grave

Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com) Mark your calendars…Organizers of the Halloween Night Thriller Dance have signed up almost two-hundred thousand dancers who will voluntarily dance at the graveside of Michael Jackson in an effort to revive the pop star from death.

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Amid Gun Control Hysteria, Obama Calls For Ban On Shotgun Weddings

OREGON – (satireworld.com) Determined to circumvent Congress, President Obama has decided on his first executive order related to gun control. He’s ordering a ban on shotgun weddings, typically defined as any wedding that takes place quickly, usually to avoid embarrassment because of a pregnancy.

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PHOTO OF THE DAY…..

Satireworld.com Brought to you by the staff and writers of your favorite humor site

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Select Democrats Banned From The Hill During Halloween Says Speaker

US House of Representatives – (satireworld.com) According to the Speaker of the House, it’s not about any ‘war on women,’ but merely a ‘common sense’ issue when he requested that Rep. Rosa DeLauro stay away from the House Chambers during Halloween. “We just don’t need any further scares after this Ebola stuff from last year,” […]

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Debbie Wasserman-Schultz Called A Nitwit In Public Debate

Washington, DC- (satireworld.com) Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (D-FL)has again put her size eleven clodhopper in her mouth after she falsely accused Republican ex-congressman Allen West of attempting to ruin Medicare by trying to balance the budget screwed up by President Barack Obama and addressing the National Debt ceiling when he was serving in Congress. Wasserman-Schultz who […]

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Hillary’s Transparency is Getting to Be a Problem For Her

NEW HAMPSHIRE – (satireworld.com) In a town hall interview the other day, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton proclaimed herself to be “the most transparent person in American history” while answering a question about her email scandal. It’s true that, without makeup, Clinton looks like a ghastly apparition, but the issue is causing her campaign some […]

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Obama ‘The Martian’ Opens To Rave Reviews

By Oleg Penkovsky Mars, The Solar System – (satireworld.com) Dramatic footage has just been released of NASA Mars Rover’s coverage of the 2014 Presidential inauguration of the United States Embassy on Mars. Featuring resplendent diplomatic pageantry at the legation’s newly opened Mars Walk of Fame Handprints Mall the footage kicks off with Obama flanked by […]

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Is Obama Really A ‘Dickhead’? Russia’s Vladimir Putin thinks so!

Moscow, Russia – (satireworld.com) Is US President Barack Obama a dickhead? Well, forensic scientists in Moscow seem to believe so and have released medical files as proof, some dating back to 2000 that reportedly show Barack Obama’s unique cranial cerebellum composition.

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The Religious Food Police Have Arrived

London UK – (satireworld.com) You knew it was coming, as the United Kingdom (UK) has again succumbed to “political correctness” with respect to Muslim Immigrants. The nation that defiantly stood alone against the NAZI’s at the beginning of WWII may ban Ham Sandwiches, Bangers and Sausage Rolls from office kitchens for being “offensive!”

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Mental Health and Gun Control

Vienna Austria – (satireworld.com) Dr. Sigmund Freud III spoke before the Austrian Psychology Association (APA) on the 135th anniversary of the founding of Psychological Research. The meeting was held at the Kursalon Vienna Concert Hall. The attendees were the notables of the psychology world and all 1744 seats of the main hall were filled, plus […]

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Obama Gathers Top Brass For Game of RISK to Plan Syria Strategy

WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com) Desperate to find some kind of strategy for dealing with Syria, now that Russian President Putin has caught the Obama administration without a plan, President Obama summoned his top military advisers to the White House today for a high-stakes game of RISK in hopes of coming up with a plan.

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TODAY’S PHOTO MINUTE….

Today’s Photos brought to you by the writers and staff of satireworld.com

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Illinois Pizzeria That Wouldn’t Cater Same Sex Weddings Sort of Reopens

Chicago IL- (satireworld.com) A suburban Illinois pizzeria, “Sam’s Terrific Pies,” that closed its doors after its owner said his religious beliefs wouldn’t allow him to cater a gay wedding, but any customer would be welcomed in the shop, was operating again to a full house of regulars and new customers.

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Putin Assumes Control in Middle East But Can’t Take Selfies For Sh*t

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Russian President Putin has launched airstrikes in Syria, effectively neutering President Obama and his weak Middle East policy. While Mr. Obama’s policy has been to destroy the part of ISIS that is neither Islamic nor extremist by playing tiddlywinks, Putin is using firepower, kicking ass and taking names.

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Court Tosses Chicago Inmate’s $10M Suit For Escape (Associated Press: Published September 26, 2015)

You couldn’t make this stuff up! Chicago IL – (satireworld.com) An inmate who escaped from a high-rise federal jail in Chicago has an unusual theory on who’s to blame: He says the government was negligent in enabling the breakout, so he sued for $10 million for damages.

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Illegal Immigration Solution? Do It Like Ike Did

(satireworld.com) From the guys at satireworld.com comes an idea who’s time has come again…Let’s deport illegal aliens! If they’re illegal that means they’re criminals. Who wants criminals in our country. Don’t we have enough already with a large Democratic Party?

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Breakthrough Memory Implants Make it Possible to Forget Obama Was Ever President

LOS ANGELES – (satireworld.com) A scientific breakthrough has given tens of millions of conservatives a glimmer of hope – it may soon be possible to completely forget Barack Obama was ever elected President of the United States in the first place. This current reality, in which a community organizer has brought shame on the greatest […]

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