Archive for February, 2016

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Bernie Saunders Denies Sexual Relationship With Connecticut Congresswoman Rosa DeLauro

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Rep. Rosa DeLauro (D-CT), wore her ‘Black Sabbath Best’ to the Bernie Saunders’ fundraising photo opportunity with other Democratic women of the House to highlight the historic diversity of the House Democratic Caucus in Congress and celebrate the increased number of women joining the Democratic Caucus.

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Mick Jagger: The Night I Told John Lennon I Was Sleeping With Justice Scalia

NYC – (Satireworld) Rock ‘n’ roller Jick Magger reveals to Satireworld reporters how he confided in the famous dead Beatle about his passionate weekend fling with famous Grassy Noel shooter Antonin Scalia, justice of the piss:

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Canada Plans To Stop Disillusioned Bernie-Bots From Migrating Northward Pending Saunders Defeat

Ottawa, Canada – (satireworld.com) The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Trump supporters are prompting an exodus among Bernie Saunders’ supporters who fear they’ll soon be required to become responsible […]

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So, Before Democratic Politics What Did Bernie Saunders Do For A Living?

via: The Analytical Economist Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Among the Republican presidential candidates are a billionaire businessman, neurosurgeon, and a constitutional lawyer. When has the Democrat opposition had anything even remotely close? This election cycle the Democrats feature a woman with more scandals than achievements, and a man who thinks spending tens of trillions of […]

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Attitude Adjustment For Former White House Residents

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) President Barack Obama met in the Oval Office with a representative from the Office of Personnel Management (OPM), a Mr. A Hamilton. The OPM representative introduced himself as the Attitude Adjustment Advisor (AAA) for the US government. When a federal employee leaves his current duty station a set of mandated AAA […]

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He’s Lost It: Authorities Searching For Glenn Beck’s Mind

DALLAS – (satireworld.com) After being reported missing over 24 hours by his wife, authorities have begun a nationwide search for talk radio host Glenn Beck’s mind. Beck is still around, it’s just his mind that is gone.

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Obama Gets A Sample of His Green Energy Vision for the USA

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) It was an extremely hot and humid day in the Capital City, even for July 1, 2016, as the temperature was well over 98 degrees Fahrenheit by 8:00 AM EST. President Barack Obama was awakened by Senior Adviser to the President Valerie Jarrett concerning an emergency National Security Council meeting at the […]

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FBI Court Order ‘Bombs’ As San Bernardino Gunman’s iPhone ‘Possibly Booby Trapped’

Los Angeles, California – (Satireworld) Decryption of a terrorist’s iPhone via a custom-built malware program could blow up in the Bureau’s face according to latest intelligence reports.

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Thanks to Bernie Millennials Moving Up From Parent’s Basement!

Boston, MA – (satireworld.com) Bernie Sanders(S-D-Vt) now making it possible for unemployed college graduates to kick their parents out of their homes in order to compensate for years of white privilege and oppressing their long suffering kids!

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Satire Writer Becomes Famous and Wealthy After Shark Tank Episode

Baltimore, MD – (satireworld.com) Writing satire can be fulfilling but isn’t a way to achieve full financial independence in the long run….Just ask Philbert Macadamia. In fact, his wife did just that and that’s when he started on the road to financial freedom!

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Nevada Prostitutes Endorse Hillary….Bill Says He’ll Support Those That Support His Wife

Las Vegas, NV – (satireworld.com) Ahead of the Nevada Democratic caucuses, a group of ‘sex workers’ operating under the name Hookers for Hillary is going all in for Hillary Clinton’s campaign…touting her positions on letting her husband screw anything with a pulse and her favoring lesbian issues as contributing factors in giving their ‘hole-hearted’ support.

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Hillary finally coughs up Hairball …DNA pending…

Reno, NV – (satireworld.com) After another gagging event during a $650,000 speaking engagement at a LBGT event Hillary finally coughed up the problem…a giant Hairball some say may be linked to “close personal assistant” Hummer Wiener!

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Justice Department Pillow-talk: Autopsies For All Eight Remaining SCOTUS Judges

Washington DC – (satireworld) Chief Justice John Roberts, 97, and fellow associate justice Ruth Bader ‘Meinhof’ Ginsburg, 104, will be tested this evening amid growing concerns neither ‘has shown much sign of life’ ever since colleague Antonin Scalia was found RIP on Saturday.

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Hope For Bernie Saunders Supporters As Science Develops Drop-in Mini Brains

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Tiny, rolling balls of brain cells knocking around in a lab may one day help keep Bernie Saunders supporters from losing their place while reading the back of cereal boxes, staring at shiny objects, and other attention robbing activities that quickly spiral out of control causing deeply troubling illusions of winning […]

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Republican Presidential Hopefuls to Meet in Steel Cage Death Match

SOUTH CAROLINA – (satireworld.com) This week, CNN is hosting a unique event in the world of politics. Because of the vitriol displayed between the Republican candidates in the last GOP debate, the network is hosting a two-night, steel cage death match to whittle down the current field of six presidential hopefuls.

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Bernie Saunders Explains His 1968 Draft Deferment During North Vietnam’s Gen. Giap’s Death Anniversary

Hanoi, VN – (satireworld.com) General Vo Nguyen (Dinky dau) Giap, architect of Vietnam’s resistance against first France, than the US. died one year ago today. A national celebration of his military life was being observed across the world including the US, family members and government officials said.

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The ‘World’s Most Interesting Man’ Hates Politics

Coast of Paraguay – (satireworld.com) Fernando Monte Verde retired a number of years ago from a successful business career and at that time would have never believed he would one day be the envy of every male on the planet! But today Fernando certainly is that man.

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Hellfire Club Chapel Royal nuptials for Rupert Murdoch and Jerry Hall

City of London, UK – (Satireworld) A stones-throw from Blackfriars Bridge – underneath which his old mucker Roberto ‘God’s Banker’ Calvi was found ‘suicided’ in June 1982 – stands the illustrious temple of St Bribe’s of Fleet Street, spiritual home of British media and wedding venue to the stars.

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It’s ‘Madder Than Hell’ Week In Washington, DC

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) The fallout from the recent and ongoing Veterans Administration scandal has surfaced at the White House, after White House chief of staff says President Barack Obama is “madder than hell” about reports of treatment delays at veterans’ hospitals across the country.

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Bernie Saunders Discusses ‘#PoliticiansLivesMatter’ with Al Sharpton

Harlem, NYC – (satireworld.com) Taking advantage of Black History Month, socialist Bernie Saunders met with Al Sharpton in a carefully orchestrated show of black support after winning the Democratic primary election in New Hampshire.

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In America’s Heartland Bernie Saunders and the Left Suffer From Electile Dysfunction

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Webster’s Dictionary recently added a new phrase that pretty much sums up the problems faced the Democratic Party today as the 2016 elections roll ever closer. Eloquently said, the new phrase has captured the imagination of conservative pundits as the predominate adjective used most often on television to describe the situation […]

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Cam Newton Blames Super Bowl Loss on ‘The Man’

SANTA CLARA, CA – (satireworld.com) Before walking out on his post-game press conference following his team’s loss to Denver in Super Bowl 50, Carolina quarterback Cam Newton blamed his play on ‘The Man’ keeping him down.

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When The Top 10 Most Miserable US Cities To Live In Are All Run By Democrats Why Vote For Bernie?

Detroit, MI – (satireworld.com) According to Forbes rankings, Detroit is the most miserable city in the United States. Home to violent crimes, high unemployment, decreasing population and economic crises, Detroit beat out Miami (last years winner) along with Flint-MI, Chicago-IL, and Modesto-CA. So, why would anyone want to vote for a an avowed socialist like […]

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Hillary’s Blast Mango Embarrass with Lloyd Blankfein

New York City – (Satireworld) Ex-Secretary of Snakes Hillary Clinton’s $625,000 Wall Street paycheck came oiled with lubricants a Senate Committee Hearing heard today. “All she had to do was open her mouth,” a Deep-Throat asserted, “for those Goldman Schmux dollars to come pouring out of her orifice. Think ‘Maria Schneider meets Blankfein’s Brando’ – […]

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Bernie-bots Swear Mass Suicide If Bernie Saunders Loses Primary Election

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Mary Crumsky held her Bernie Saunders photo tightly as she watched the nightly news unfold on her black and white TV set in Spokane Washington. The news was not good for millions of Bernie-bots who have turned their life into an endless parade of hysterical politics and over-inflated idol worship.

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Iowa Governor Declares Political Pollution Emergency

Des Moines IA – (satireworld.com) Governor Terry E. Branstad (R) has declared a political pollution emergency across the Hawkeye State following the recent Iowa Caucuses for President of the United States. Prospective Republican and Democratic presidential candidates and their entourages had previously covered all of the 99 counties in town meetings and informal gatherings in […]

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