Archive for March, 2016

Paris Hilton Dead! Police Investigate…Illegal Drugs Blamed

Paris, France-(SatireWorld.com) >Found in awkward position. >Family upset-Rushing to scene. >Police investigate workers. >Manager detained. Police and investigators are in a quandary after reports trickled in that the Paris Hilton is dead due to drug use. Fans flocked to the scene as health officials and police investigators combed the area for clues and evidence.

Full Story

Surprising Facts About Adolf Hitler Never Revealed… Until Now

Bonn, Germany – (satireworld.com) A recently discovered trove of unseen Nazi secret documents dating from the Hitler era, disclosed a secret many allied intelligence services have overlooked for more than 65 years…Adolph Hitler was totally color blind and a real bad sport about practical jokes being played upon him.

Full Story

2016: Obama’s last chance to enjoy Martha’s Vineyard before Bernie turns it into agrarian utopia!

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Barry is feeling ‘the bern’ as the 74 year old communist is closing on Hill the Pill for the democratic nomination! “This could be our last year in paradise,” Barry was heard on a hot mike with Debbie the Douche at a MA fundraiser!

Full Story

Shilling for Hillary Opens at the JFK Center for the Performing Arts

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) A new musical play written by Democratic National Committee Chair (DNC) Debbie Wasserman Schultz opened at the John F Kennedy (JFK) Center for the Performing Arts. This new play features actual Washington DC Democratic politicians playing themselves.

Full Story

Fat Chance Of US Presidency With Chris Christie As Veep

New Jersey – (Satireworld) Emergency liposuction compressors are on standby at Dumbthwacket, official residence of New Jersey’s Governor, amid rapidly spreading rumors the GOP heavyweight has been chosen as Donald T Rump’s running bait. Mate.

Full Story

The Washington Establishment Calls For a Unity Presidential Ticket

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) The political turmoil in the USA, eight months before the November presidential elections, grows more acute every day. Both political parties are caught up in a swirling eddy of accusations: Republicans as to which candidate has the bigger hands or penis, who is more presidential, whose wife did what; Democrats as to […]

Full Story

Sanders and Schultz: “We’re moving the DNC to Toms River!”

Toms River, NJ – (satireworld.com) Debbie Wasserman Schulz and Bernie Sanders have decided to move the DNC to Toms River NJ to join the horde of Hasidic Jewish migrants fleeing from the terror of NYC and its anti semantic violence fostered by Jesse Jackson and his talk of Hymie town!

Full Story

Hillary Sex Doll Satisfies Sick Progressives

PHOENIX – (satireworld.com) It takes all kinds, and today’s progressives have a reputation for flying their freak flags higher than anybody else. Combine this with the booming sex doll industry, an election year, and you have the Hillary sex doll.

Full Story

Obama tweets:”Don’t laff at me Argentina!”

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Fresh off his debut on Argentina’s hoofing it with POTUS, Obama speaks out about getting 4 3’s from former president! Twitter universe is alive today after Barack made a fool of himself on Agentina TV last night during a breathless attemp at a rendition of a tepid tango!

Full Story

Iranian Dam Nonsense As Elite Hacking Unit Indicted For Tide Of Filth

New York – (Satireworld) An elite gang of Iranian hackers has been indicted by grand jury for multiple intrusion attempts on computerised sewage control sluices at a Westchester County sanitation installation, the Bowman Avenue Dam, reputedly a notorious cybercrime hotspot favored by the Ayatollahs.

Full Story

Socialist Candidate Bernie Sanders Speaks to ARSE

Cleveland, OH – (satireworld.com) The Republican National Committee is holding its presidential nominating convention at the Quicken Loans Arena located in this city during the week of July 18, 2016. The Cleveland Police Department (CPD) security program has been supported by $50 million in funds from the RNC. CPD has indicated they will take all […]

Full Story

Mandatory ‘Pest Passports’ Mooted As Trump Plans Microchipping Muslims And Democrats

New York – (Satireworld) A study by the influential American College of Veterinary Insurgents this week claims GOP President Donald T Rump will use Executive Privilege to order the compulsory satellite-enabled tracking of ‘varmints’ who are ruining the United Snakes.

Full Story

Marco Rubio: Penis Envy Cost Me The Nomination!

Miami, FL – (satireworld.com) Just days away after dropping out of the GOP presidential cluster Marco Rubio revealed his Penis Envy killed his chances for presidential erection(sic).

Full Story

Defamation Law Suit Filed Against the Federal Government and the Obama Administration

Washington DC: (satireworld.com) A Defamation and Libel civil lawsuit was filed on January 15, 2016 in DC Federal District Court against the Federal Government and specifically the Democratic Obama Administration. The plaintiff is known only as BAR, in order to keep his identity confidential to avoid recriminations.

Full Story

Who Ya Callin’ A Comey Bastard??

Washington AC/DC – (Satireworld) Code breakers gathering for the FBI’s annual cryptology beano this weekend are miffed at the introduction of intrusive ‘cavity’ searches amid mounting speculation that a Bob Hanssen-style communist sympathizer may have infiltrated the Bureau’s legendary decryption division.

Full Story

Obama’s Supreme Court Nomination Process

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) US President Barack Obama had a short list of three names of judges to replace deceased Associate Justice Antonin Scalia on the bench of the US Supreme Court. The president then nominated Chief Justice Merrick Garland of the DC Court of Appeals.

Full Story

Obama Reverses Himself on Global Warming

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest indicated President Obama has reversed his position on global warming and now believes global cooling will begin in the year 2017 with spectacular decreases in the Earth’s temperatures to below freezing.

Full Story

North Korea Threatens to Wipe Out Manhattan, Kansas

MANHATTAN – (satireworld.com) No one really knows why North Korea’s Kim Jong-un does the things he does, but the latest bluster coming from the dictator, and international spokesman for Supercuts, has security experts scratching their heads. For some reason, North Korea has it in for Manhattan, Kansas.

Full Story

SatireWorld’s ….PHOTO OF THE DAY!

Photo rings a bell with those tired of endless debates that answer nothing and promote 2-second blather of mindless sound bites.

Full Story

Hillary: “They Can Take My Freedom, But They’ll Never Take My Vagina!”

FLORIDA – (satireworld.com) At a campaign event just before Super Tuesday voting, Hillary Clinton addressed nervous Democratic supporters who might still be undecided about whether to vote for her or Bernie Sanders, because of the threat of indictment over her email/private server scandal.

Full Story

Floyd Wankfiend Gets His Head Around Inscrutable Mandarin Tongue

New York City – (Satireworld) The last time he tried his lick (luck? -Ed) at Chinese Whispers some crinkly oriental ass-hairs got jammed between the molars, triggering a slimy tongue-and-cucumber-sandwich attack. The furtive maneuver eventually cost Goldbum Sux shareholders a cool $100bn as His Honor the Judge sided with the plaintiff before coming down hard […]

Full Story

Obama Proposes to Reduce NOAA’s Budget By $60 Million

Punxsutawney PA – (satireworld.com) President Obama and First Lady Michelle went by Marine One Helicopter to observe Groundhog Day in Pennsylvania. Mingling with the local crowd of observers, the first couple and 10 Secret Service agents gathered at Gobbler’s Knob early the morning of February 2, 2016 awaiting the appearance of Punxsutawney Phil.

Full Story

Hillary’s Democratic Party Campaign Song

 Washington DC: Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton in conjunction with former UN Ambassador Susan Rice and Democratic National Committee (DNC) chair Debbie Wasserman-Shultz have written a theme song for the 2016 Democratic National Convention.

Full Story

Now, A Word From Our Sponsors….

Now, A Word From Our Sponsors….

Full Story

GOP Wives ‘Feigning Rigor Mortis’ To Get That Nancy Reagan Look

Washington DC – (Satireworld) GOP presidential wannabes’ wives are busy emulating the former Fist Lady’s style sense according to a NewYorkGhost.com editorial channeling latest hexoplasm-related fashion tips.

Full Story

Barbara Bush Is Next Says White House Astrologer

Washington DC – (Satireworld) ‘Tuesday’s solar eclipse plus apocalyptic asteroids all over her birth chart,’ a soothsayer commented as hundreds of worried (sic) Americans jammed the Fright House switchboard following today’s announcement of the former Fist Lady’s death.

Full Story

Sexism Charged By Dean of Students at Washington Technical College

Fairbanks AK – (satireworld.com) Dean of Students Abigail Prude at the Washington Technical College (WTC) has cited the members of Omega Pi Omega (ΩπΩ) Fraternity with sexism towards female students. WTC specializes in mechanical design and construction related to oil pipelines, drilling, platforms and structures. The school presently has a student body consisting of 100 […]

Full Story

Now, A Word From Our Sponsors…..

Now, a word from our sponsors and testimonials from satisfied users!

Full Story

FBI: Hillary Charged and Arrest Warrants Issued in New York

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Sources in the highest levels of the FBI are privately saying that an arrest warrant has been issued for Democratic Presidential candidate, and former First Lady, Hillary Clinton.

Full Story

Justice Clarence Thomas Utters Shocking First Word in Decade

WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com) Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas opened his mouth for the first time in over ten years today while the Court was hearing arguments in a gun case. The utterance shocked and surprised everyone present.

Full Story