Archive for April, 2016

Intrinsic Ethnic Food May Not Be Sold to a Specific African American

San Francisco CA – (satireworld.com) A black woman Loretta Jones confronted a white law student Harry Smith who wore his hair in dreadlocks, saying he’s stealing her culture by wearing dreadlocks. The incident occurred at San Francisco State University (SFSU), where the two individuals had a heated disagreement/argument.

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De Blasio’s Home-Stat Outreach Program Bombs As Vagrants Lobby President Tramp

New York City – (Satireworld.com) The presidential candidate has received a deputation of organised NYC vagrants protesting at a Bill de Blasio drive to remove and deport them to shelters ‘close to the Mexican border’ according to reports.

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Democrats Furious When Boehner Compares Cruz to The Dark Lord

Diablo, CA – (satireworld.com) Wednesday night, former House Speaker John Boehner bluntly called GOP candidate Ted Cruz “Lucifer in the flesh.” When asked for his opinion about the Texas senator, Boehner said, “I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son […]

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Leaker of Panama Papers Revealed to be David Lee Roth

PANAMA – (satireworld.com) The former lead singer of Van Halen, David Lee Roth, has rarely been intertwined in international affairs, but now the musician is coming clean about the controversy known as “The Panama Papers.”

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Obama Calls Putin to Discuss Transgender Bathroom Crisis

WASHINGTON – (satireworld.com) With the world in a precarious state from threats of terrorism, China’s economy on shaky ground, Iran getting nuclear weapons, and military skirmishes with other countries that continue to embarrass the United States, President Obama placed a call to Russia’s President Putin today.

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Well Respected New York Gynecologist Divorced by Wife of 10 Years

New York NY – (satireworld.com) The Law Firm of Wentworth and Brewster (W&B) have indicated that Alice Smith-Jones, a former Miss America, is suing Dr. Walter Jones, Park Avenue Gynecologist, for divorce after 10 years of marriage. The couple has six children ages nine to two years old. Dr Jones is known as the Gynecologist […]

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Airport TSA Says Security Improves With New X-Ray Vision Glasses

Boston, MA – (satireworld.com) The TSA announced a new weapon in the fight against international terrorism. Starting this week,all agents will be issued a set of X-ray vision glasses as part of an overall upgrade approved by Congress and a grant from DC Comics.

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Ex-Jersey Shore Cast Member Recalls Seaside Heights EPA Crackdown

Seaside Heights, New Jersey – (satireworld.com) Alfonse Pepitone recalled the terrible summer weekend in 2009 when New Jersey EPA officials segregated the cast members of Jersey Shore, a reality TV show. Pepitone played ‘Gonzo the Gorgeous Ginzo’, a local pizzeria owner who delivered custom ‘tomato pies’for the show regulars. Pepitone recalls, that while in EPA […]

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Ten Pork Producing States Sue the Obama Administration and Michelle Obama

Des Moines Iowa – (satireworld.com) The US Department of Agriculture (USDA) has sent notices of heavy fines being levied for inappropriate use of food funding in school districts of 10 pork producing states. USDA charges that federal government funds were spend on other food products than those items specified in First Lady Michelle Obama’s 2013 […]

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Sesame Street Introduces New Muslim Muppet ‘Zari’

PBS-Land – (satireworld.com) The popular children’s show Sesame Street has a new Muppet character, hijab-wearing “Zari,” who will be introduced on the Afghani version of the show. In PBS’s effort to remain as politically correct as possible, the character is an Islamic girl who will teach children about female empowerment and education, among other things.

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Foreign Surveillance Intelligence Caught Short As Agenda Neutral Bathroom Flushes Out Suspected Tampon Terrorists

Washington AC/DC – (Satireworld.com) A newly refurbished unisex pubic convenience at the E Barrett Prettyman United Snakes Courthouse was the scene of a nasty homophobic attack on its sanitary towel vending equipment last Friday when vandals daubed obscenities about non-Sharia compliant periodwear.

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NYT Introduces Political Gossip Column

New York NY- (satireworld.com) The New York Times (NYT) faced with a declining readership had to find new ways to boost the paper’s circulation. There was a time when New Yorker’s read this paper while riding on the NYC Subway/ commuter trains or having a Danish pastry or a Bagel and a cup of coffee […]

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King Obama Warns Landlords About Not Renting to Criminals

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) It may be discriminatory for landlords to refuse to rent to people with criminal records according to King Obama, even though the Fair Housing Act doesn’t include criminals as a protected class. US Housing and Urban Development (HUD) is twisting facts via circular reasoning for the king to play the race […]

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Bill Clinton Secretly Hoping for Hillary Indictment, Conjugal Visits

NEW YORK – (satireworld.com) While his wife was getting spanked by Bernie Sanders in Wisconsin tonight, sources say Bill Clinton is secretly hoping that Hillary gets indicted, has to drop out of the presidential race, and is ultimately incarcerated.

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University of Chicago Adds Two Philosophy Classes on Transgender Issues

Chicago IL – (satireworld.com) The Chairman of the Philosophy Department at the University of Chicago has announced the addition of two new philosophy classes beginning in the upcoming fall semester of 2016. These classes are required for politically correct liberal philosophy majors. However, these classes are elective minors for conservative students (if there are any […]

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Minor Scuffle Reported Outside the White House

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) President Obama attended the latest Nuclear Security Summit held at the Walter E. Washington Convention Center in the city to discuss achievements in preventing nuclear weapons proliferation around the world. Unfortunately, Iran, Russia, North Korea and ISIS weren’t at the table. A communiqué was released patting everyone on the back, but […]

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Named: Roll Call Of World Leaders Who Have Not Schlepped With Wendi Deng

New York – (Satireworld.com) A poll by online agony aunt DragThruTheMud.con has revealed the Prime Minister of Iceland Sigmundur David Gunn-Laugh-Son sitting top of man-eater Mrs Rupert Murdoch’s refuseniks list after calling her out as ‘a man in drag’ at the Vienna Spring Ball last year.

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JOHN KERRY DYNAMIC TRIBUTE TRILOGY III: KERRY DECLARES WAR ON LORD XENU (I WAS AGAINST SCIENTOLOGY BEFORE I WAS FOR IT!)

The Batshit Avenue Scientology Community People’s Temple – (satireworld.com) John Kerry is a man of the world, but now his flip-flopping has soared astronomically, to the point where it’s on a genuinely cosmic scale.

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JOHN KERRY DYNAMIC TRIBUTE TRILOGY II: NAPALM THAT GODDAMN CYBER-HORSE!

CharlieLand – (satireworld.com) Everybody (more or less) seems to love Charlie, the moody animated horse from Sugarcandy Mountain; yet, it seems he hasn’t got a friend in John Kerry, as you’ll read.

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JOHN KERRY DYNAMIC TRIBUTE TRILOGY I: VAST MAINSTREAM-LOGICAL-CONSPIRACY

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) The entire International Community (all ten or so individuals!) have been suddenly cast adrift without guidance and enlightenment…No, it’s not, as you mighta thought, that Glenn Beck and his MSNBC haters have hung up their microphones, leaving the entire global policy world in eternal darkness. Nah! It’s just that John Kerry […]

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