Archive for May, 2016

Gozza Bullish On Wings Of Desire For Saturday’s Epsom Derby

Newmarket, UK – (Satireworld.com) “Sure knocks the spots off them pesky Irish raiders,” a leading stablehand said today as bookmakers slashed the odds on Wings Of De Sire, the beautiful chestnut colt with strong Northern Dancer bloodlines that’s firing up the nation’s gonads for UK flat racing’s premier prize.

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While America Honors Its Fallen Vets…The Left Spends More Time Mourning A Dead Gorilla

Cincinnati, OH – While millions of Americans paid their respects to the countless numbers of fallen heroes who gave all to protect our country and way of life, people devastated by the death of Harambe the Gorilla gathered at the Cincinnati Zoo to mourn after zoo authorities killed the animal when a child fell into […]

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Hillary Clinton, Smartest Woman in World, to Pen ‘Emails for Hillary’s’ Book

CHICAGO – (satireworld.com) The publishers at IDG Books, the company that puts out the “For Dummies” line of informative books, have signed a deal with Hillary Clinton to publish her book teaching the do’s and dont’s of emails, based on her expertise in the field. The book will be titled “Emails for Hillary’s.”

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Trump’s Proposed Southern Border Wall Utilizes New Technology

Trenton NJ – (satireworld.com) Republican Presidential Nominee Donald Trump met at a cow farm in New Jersey with one of his many building contractors, Christi brothers Concrete and Building materials Inc. He was there to observe a breakthrough technology in wall construction that will allow cost effective, speedy wall construction across the US southern border. The […]

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Disney Announces Subway’s Jared Fogle Bio-Op Movie Starring Johnny Depp

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com) Hoping to cash in on the successful match-up of actor Johnny Depp and the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, Walt Disney Pictures announced the start of filming for the controversial movie biography of Subway pitchman Jared Fogle with Depp starring as the beleaguered spokesperson now serving 18 years in prison for […]

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Obama Indirectly Endorses Donald Trump for President

Shima Japan – (satireworld.com) The story carried in USA liberal media (TV and newspapers) about Democratic President Obama making snide remarks (during a US election year) about “foreign leader’s being rattled by presumptive Republican Presidential Nominee Donald Trump” was false. The problem was due to a bug in an artificial intelligence translation computer, translating Obama’s […]

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Is Johhny Depp ‘Way Too Cool’ For Marriage?

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com) Amber Heard has filed for divorce from Johnny Depp after just 15 months of marriage amid claims his family hated her. The actress, 30, submitted court documents on Monday citing irreconcilable differences and seeking spousal support, triggering a battle over the star’s $400 million fortune.

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Fans Petition SatireWorld for Gay Captain America

Cape Cod, MA – (satireworld.com) Progressive superhero fans took to Twitter Monday to petition SatireWorld to change Captain America’s sexual orientation in an upcoming story submitted by the veteran writer.

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Bill Clinton Waged War Over ‘Death Of A Princess’ Files

Langley, VA – (Satireworld.com) “Makes British serial child molestor pervert Jimmy Savile look like the bloody virgin Mary,” a former intelligence bigwig said today amid claims Bill Clinton orchestrated a lavish whitewash to save his own fetid foreskin by ‘deleting’ evidence of a horrible predatory past.

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Have You Been Raped By Bill ?

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Kathleen Willey, one of the women who famously accused Bill Clinton of sexual assault, used a radio interview on Sunday to call on other female victims of Bill Clinton to contact her and consider going public.

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Obama Really Gets into Everyone’s Pants this Time

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) President Obama has decided to again defy the Constitutional limits placed on his executive powers and released an unlawful directive stating that public schools must allow Transgender students to use the bathroom of their choice. Obama clearly overreached by redefining “sex” to include Transgender children in Title IX of the Education […]

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Elon Musk warns Democrats not to use Tesla charging stations with their solar powered Dildos!

Tyler, TX – (satireworld.com) Shortly after a Hilary Supporter was found dead in ecstasy, a Tesla exec and con man warned transsexuals and lesbians not to try to re-power their love toys from govt funded recharging stations which are popping up everywhere!

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Phoenix CBS TV Reporter Arrested After Defecating On Suspect’s Lawn During Interview

Phoenix, AZ – (satireworld.com) A CBS news reporter has been arrested and fired from a TV station after he pooped on a criminal suspect’s front lawn while preparing his report. Jonathan Lowe, a journalist for KPHO in Phoenix, Arizona, was picked up by police Monday on charges of public defecation while on the job.

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Decriminalization Of Adultery Ahead Of Upcoming Saudi Aramco Fire Sale

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia – (Satireworld.com) Sharia Law is to be consigned to the dumpster according to a Kingdom Oil Ministry spokesperson spearheading an unprecedented charm offensive that’s batting its eyelashes at US Big Oil’s $900 billion cash stash.

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Political Fallout from the Discovery of Fedulium Dioxide

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) Fedulium is the 119th element in the Periodic Table of Elements. Refined Fedulium Trioxide (FdO3) ore was used in the production of North Korea’s so called Hydrogen bomb. Fedulium Trioxide ore is only found in North Korea as Fedulasaurus poop. Fedulasaurus was a small dinosaur that went extinct 65 million years ago, […]

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Who Says The Police Just Don’t Care Anymore?

Richland, WA – (satireworld.com) The Richland Police report finding an unidentified man’s body in the Columbia River, near the confluence of the Yakima River, at Columbia park. The dead man’s name will not be released until his family has been notified.

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Revealed! Spoof Writer Had Starring Role In The Original ‘Gilligan’s Island’ TV Sitcom

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com) Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale a tale of a fateful trip, that started from this tropic port, aboard this tiny ship… To all fans of the popular television sitcom Gilligan’s Island, no one character had the mystic and adoring fan base as the character known as ‘The […]

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Obama Plans to Apologize to Japan for Roosevelt Dropping F-Bomb

HIROSHIMA – (satireworld.com) Later this month, President Obama will make a trip to the site of the world’s most famous bomb blast, to make an apology for former President Roosevelt dropping a more powerful bomb. The F-bomb.

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Proof that Hillary’s Illegal Email Server Was Hacked

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) The Romanian hacker “Guccifer” (extradited to the US) claims he told FBI agents and officials of the US Department of State (DOS) he had “easily” hacked Clinton’s private email server. “Guccifer” claims to have hacked TOP SECRET emails that were sent during Secretary of State Clinton’s (SOS) tour of duty and […]

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Angelina Jolie Being Groomed For Hillary Veep

New York – (Satireworld.com) Rumored to be the brainchild of Goldman Sux bagmen the Clinton/Jolie dream-ticket is the latest punt to mesmerise otherwise sensible US voters into thinking ‘Vote Hillary 2016’ really isn’t some sort of sick joke.

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Don’t Mess With Women of the State of North Carolina

Raleigh NC – (satireworld.com) The Department of Justice (DOJ) headed by Attorney General (AG) Loretta Lynch gave North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory a short time to scrap this state’s new “bathroom bill” (gender matches your plumbing). Instead, he’s filing a lawsuit against the federal government. Then President Obama weighed in with his non-binding, federal funding, […]

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Angry Birds Express Displeasure With Verizon

NEWARK, NJ – (satireworld.com) Graffiti and vandalism have been taken to the next level by a flock of angry birds who are apparently very pissed off at cell phone carrier Verizon Communications, Inc.

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Travel Agency Opens for the “Not Trump” Movement and Liberal Democrats

Burlington VT- (satireworld.com) The grand opening of “Bernie Sanders Travel Boutique” was held last weekend at this city located on beautiful Lake Champlain. Large crowds were not expected, nor did they show up as this business location is a boiler room operation that caters to: rich Hollywood stars living in Malibu CA; Democratic millionaires; former […]

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Realtors’ One-No-Trump Blinder As ‘Chateau Obama’ Contracts Exchanged

Washington DC – (Satireworld.com) The 10-bed, 20-bathroom, $30m Georgetown listing is in hush-hush contract according to back channels at Bulldozerbait & Teardown, realtors to DC’s elite.

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Obama Warns Trump: “This Ain’t No Party, This Ain’t No Disco”

WASHINGTON – (satireworld.com) President Obama lectured reporters and Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump today that the presidency is a serious job, and not just some reality show.

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Black Bear Attack Reported in Central Maryland

Baltimore MD – (satireworld.com) Four environmentalists were flown by helicopter to the Shock Trauma Center at the University of Maryland Medical Center for treatment of being mauled, scratched and bitten by a black bear in Howard County. None of the injuries is life threatening.

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Hillary’s Latest Democratic Party Song

Philadelphia PA: Democratic Party presidential presumptive nominee Hillary Clinton (Nana) and her husband former President Bill Clinton (Bubba) have written a second theme song for the 2016 Democratic National Convention. This new song, “That Old Black Vote,” reflects the far left wing principles of today’s Democratic Party. It will be sung by the Reverend Al […]

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Sumo Justice Warrior (SJW) is New Poster Child for Protesters

MASSACHUSETTS – (satireworld.com) SWJ’s come in a wide variety of colors, sizes, and levels of butthurt. But now, SJW’s have found their Godzilla. Their poster baby. A college senior named Cora is that champion.

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Cruz to Name Glenn Beck As His Choice For ‘Secretary of Fasting’

Indianapolis, IN – (satireworld.com) Presidential hopeful Senator Ted Cruz interrupted his twenty-two hour prayer vigilance in Indianapolis where he and his minister father prayed for some Devine Intervention during Tuesday’s primary election.

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Glenn Beck Heading to Rehab for Cheetos Addiction

DALLAS – ()satireworld.com) The first step toward recovery, no matter what the addiction, is admitting you have a problem. Glenn Beck has finally reached rock bottom and agreed to seek professional help for his out-of-control Cheetos habit.

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