Archive for September, 2018

Throckmorton P. Turdblossom; The Country Boy Advice Column

Poontang, AR – (satireworld.com) Howdy All Ya’ll! I’ve been gone for over three years now and guess that everybody figured I was dead or something (cuz I’m a really old fart). Well, the truth is even weirder than that.

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LGBTQ To Found Own Version of Cub Scouts Called Rump Rangers

Spokane, WA – (satireworldf.com) Following the tradition of youth groups such as the Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts, the Junior Birdmen, and the Campfire Girls, the national LGBTQ organization has announced that they will found their own version of the Cub Scouts and Brownies for both boys and girls.  The new group will be called […]

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More Kavanaugh Accusations Revealed

Washington, DC – (satitreworld.com) After the initial three allegations were revealed over a few weeks, a startling number of allegations against Supreme Court Nominee Brett Kavanaugh were revealed just today.  Those allegations include:

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Bargis Tryhol…”I Had Sex With Justice Elena Kagan at an Arby’s Parking lot”

Dooberville, GA – (satireworld.com) As an almost perfect ending to what’s being called ‘Witch Hunt Wednesday,’ SatireWorld editor Bargis Tryhol has gone on public record saying that he ‘slipped the eel to’ Justice Elena Kagan back in 1982 while getting a mocha shake at a local Arbys!

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Fans Mourn Death of Scooby-Doo at Funeral

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com) Forty year old Great Dane Scooby-Doo (exact date of birth unknown as he wasn’t registered) was laid to rest yesterday at a funeral at the Hollywood Park Cemetery; He was too big to be buried in a cardboard box in the backyard.  His grave is between the fire hydrant at the […]

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Anthony Weiner Announces Penis Enhancement Surgery Successful

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) Democratic Politician Anthony Weiner, former member of the House of Representatives and mayoral candidate from New York City, has announced that his penis enhancement surgery was “more than successful!”  Weiner, who is currently in prison for child pornography charges due to a year long sexting scandal with a 15 […]

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Colorado Civil Rights Commission is Harassing Local Businesses Again

Denver CO – (satireworld.com) Jack Phillips, owner of the Masterpiece Cakeshop in suburban Denver, refused to make a wedding cake for a gay couple on religious grounds and was cited by the Colorado Civil Rights Commission (CCRC) for Gay discrimination. The Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) upheld Mr. Phillips refusal. He has now […]

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Breaking News! NY Times Reports Woman Who Claims a ‘Drunk Brett Kavanaugh Stiffed Me!’

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) As Senate Republicans press for a swift vote to confirm Brett Kavanaugh, President Trump’s nominee to the Supreme Court, Senate Democrats are investigating a new allegation of misconduct against Kavanaugh. The claim dates to the 1983-84 academic school year, when Kavanaugh was a freshman at Yale University and visited […]

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70’s Isis Star Claims She’s Not A Terrorist

Pittsburgh, PA – (satireworld.com) Joanna Cameron, star of the mid-1970’s Saturday morning television series Isis, claims that she is not in any way affiliated with the terrorist group ISIS (called ISIL by some Democrats to show support for and pander to Syria).  She says that “yes, my show is named after the Egyptian goddess and […]

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F.D.A. To Fund Study To Discover The Way The Cookie Crumbles

Palo Alto, CA – (satireworld.com) “That’s the way the cookie crumbles” is an expression that has been around since the 1920’s.  The exact origin of the phrase is unknown, but it is used as another way to say “that’s life.”  Researchers at Stanford University have received a three billion dollar grant from the Food and […]

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Brit Spooks Bugged Trump During 2014 Turdberry Purchase: Report

London – (SatireWorld.com) A bounced Czech and botched drive-by shooting outside the home of Scotland’s Turdberry Golf Course owner kick-started a lengthy investigation into Don T Rump’s offshore financial arrangements insider sources said today.

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Ben & Jerry’s Founders Creating Democrat-Inspired Ice Cream Flavors to ‘Take Back Congress’

Concord, NH – (satireworld.com) The duo behind Ben & Jerry’s ice cream is hoping to “take back Congress” by creating Democrat-inspired flavors. Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield are teaming up with social justice organization MoveOn to create a contest to support seven progressive candidates ahead of the midterm elections.

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“Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong” Is New Iranian National Anthem

Tehran,Iran: Word from the Middle East today reports that the country of Iran has named a variation of the old Edsel’s doo-wop song as their new national anthem.  “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong,” a modified version of “Rama Lama Ding Dong,” will now be the country’s official song and will be played at the Olympics (should […]

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Swedish Olympian Ivana Phuque To Compete in LPGA Tour

Stockholm, Sweden – (satireworld.com) Swedish Olympic Athlete Ivana Phuque, who has won speed skating medals in the Winter Olympics and pole vaulting medals in the Summer Olympics, has decided to expand her activities to include golf.  She will compete in the 2019 LPGA tour.

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Ronco and The Franklin Mint Combine with Democratic Party on Commemorative Plate Set

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) As a fund raiser for the 2020 Presidential Election, the Democratic Party has contracted with Ronco and The Franklin Mint to release a series of commemorative plates.  They will include such famous party individuals as Bill Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi, and others.

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Emergency Room Admissions To Soar On Trump’s FEMA Text Alert Trial

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Thursday’s debut of the Presidential Alert of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System hit a bum note today with proctologists warning of ‘potentially dire consequences’ as telecoms providers promised to crank up cell phone tones and vibration functions ahead of the anticipated trial.

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Maxine Waters Fails Hearing Test

Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com) California Democrat Maxine Waters became flustered at a recent rally where she called for ‘impeachment’ but couldn’t hear her own words. Afterward, close confidants and aides suggested that the 78 year old congresswoman get her hearing tested.

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Turkish Cleric Warns About Masturbation

Istanbul, Turkey – (satireworld.com) A Muslim cleric has warned that men who pleasure themselves could make their hands pregnant in the afterlife.

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Annual “Throw a Paper Airplane at a Mosque Day” Guidelines Released

Religion-of-Peace Mall Hershey Highway, PA – (satireworld.com) The rules and guidelines for the annual “Throw a Paper Airplane at a Mosque Day” commemoration of 9/11 will take place on 10/11 this year.  The quiet and peaceful demonstration has quickly spread across the United States in memory of the tragedy of September 11th, when Moslem terrorists […]

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Michael Jordan Announces Another Comeback

SPORTS NEWS NETWORK- Michael “Air” Jordan, who is often called the greatest basketball player of all time, has announced that he will make his 3rd comeback attempt at age 55.  Jordan originally played for the Chicago Bulls from 1984 – 1993, retired to try his hand at baseball, came back to the Bulls from 1995 – […]

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We Have the Barack Obama

New York NY – (satireworld.com) The 73rd session of the United Nations (UN) opened in early September 2018 in New York City (NYC) with a meeting of the UN General Assembly of 193 nations at its Turtle Bay Headquarters. The heads of state of various nations presented their world view and problems for consideration at […]

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2019 Dancing With The Stars To Feature All Plus Size Contestants

Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com) Network officials and show producers have announced that the 2019 season of “Dancing With The Stars” will feature nothing but “big” contestants.  The “big,” however, is not what you would normally thing of as “big Hollywood stars.”  All of next year’s contestants will be plus sized.

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NYC Bans Coney Island Whitefish

New York NY: New York City (NYC) (satireworld.com) Democratic Mayor Bill de Blasio and the NYC Council have passed an ordinance banning Coney Island Whitefish. The Coney Island Whitefish, better known as a Condom (latex/rubber), cannot now be disposed of in any manner (like flushing) that causes this protective device to wind up in any […]

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Nike’s Next Commercial To Feature Hanoi Jane Beheading Christians

Boston, MA – (satireworld.com) Nike, which is trying to corner and control the market on Un-Americans and Anti-Americans, has announced a follow-up to their Colin Kaepernick commercials.  Famous traitor and subversive “Hanoi” Jane Fonda, who has been found guilty of treason in the court of public opinion but not in the Hollywood and Democratically controlled […]

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Pedophile Jared Fogle Becomes Singer/Songwriter in Prison

Safford, AZ- (satireworld.com) The Federal Bureau of Prisons has released information that Jared Fogle, former Subway spokesman, has written and recorded several songs while serving in prison.  Fogle is currently incarcerated in Safford, Arizona and is serving a sentence for having child pornography and for engaging in illicit sexual contact with underage women.

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Kim Kardashian Selected By Celebrity Panel as Least Talented Person in America

Hollywood,CA – (satireworld.com) Kim Kardiashian (a.k.a. Kim Kartrashian) was recently selected by a Hollywood celebrity panel as being the Least Talented Person in America.  This was the sixth straight win for Kim, breaking the previous record set by Paris Hilton.  The highest placed male in the contest was Ryan Seacrest, who came in second for […]

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Smokin’ Gun News: The Brit Bravery Gong That’s Driving Trump Psychotic

London – (SatireWorld.com) The citation ‘For Acts Of The Greatest Heroism + Conspicuous Courage In Circumstances of Extreme Danger’ perfectly defines Britain’s highest peacetime award.

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Remakes of Once Popular Television Shows To Be Updated Due To Political Correctness

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) There is talk of making the next James Bond into a black man.  The latest Battlestar Gallactica changed the gender of several characters (including Starbuck and Boomer).  The new Lost In Space remake has changed the race of one of the Robinson children, the gender of the doctor, and […]

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Study Finds Some Girls Are Boy Crazy Even as Toddlers

While several leftists social scientists and thinkers are trying to tell us that we imprint gender identities on children as they grow up, others are finding that the traditional gender roles are already present in toddlers.

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Meghan McCain Threatens Trump Over Twinkie Plant Closing

Muffinville, AZ – (SatireWorld.com) Pampered snot-bag and full time RINO, Meghan McCain threatened to cutoff all and any affiliation with the Republican Party after talks with fellow View panelists who placed the blame on Republicans for Hostess Brands shuttering its Twinkie plant doors in Texas after years of union unrest. Her apparent unhappiness with Republicans […]

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