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Mistrial Declared When Man’s Prosthetic Eye Pops Out On Witness Stand
Philadelphia, PA – (SatireWorld.com) An assault trial over a fight that cost a man his left eye ended in a mistrial Wednesday when his prosthetic eye popped out as he was testifying, startling jurors to the point that some had to be excused.
Full StoryDuring Senate Hearing on Benghazi Attack…Secretary Hillary Clinton Stuns Senators By Testifying in Swim Suit
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) White House Press Secretary Jay Carney on Wednesday defended Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton’s appearance before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, claiming that it doesn’t make a difference what she wears to a senate hearing.
Full StoryObama Photo Shocks Supporters As He Eats A Chick-Fil-A Sandwich During Campaign Stop
Winter Park, FL – (SatireWorld.com) There will be one less camapign aide to do the bidding of staffers as a to-go sandwich mix-up caused President Obama a photo embarassment on the campaign trail on Thursday during a stop in Florida.
Full StoryWhat The Hell Is This Kwanzaa Thing Anyway?
Chicago, IL – (SatireWorld.com) President Obama went on the airwaves today praising the celebration of Kwanzaa and wishing celebants a ‘happy and healthy’ Kwanzaa. I’m not sure, but the last time I looked my Kwanzaa was looking pretty healthy. So, what the hell is Kwanzaa anyway?
Full StoryActor Charlie Sheen Flashes Photos Of Lady Godiva In Nothing But Her Underwear!
Port Dover, Ontario – (SatireWorld.com) A drunk and disoriented, Charlie Sheen amused local patrons at a seedy Port Dover bar by wearing a lampshade and dancing clumbsily around the pool table while showing photos of himself and scantily clad photos of local writer Lady Godiva while she was doing a Jamaican limbo dance to anyone [...]
Full StoryThe Labor Department Approves Trade Adjustment Assistance For Former Employees Of Bankrupt Solar Panel Maker Solyndra.
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The Labor Department today announced that it had approved Trade Adjustment Assistance for the former employees of the bankrupt solar panel maker Solyndra.
Full StoryScientists Say Asteroid Will Hit Earth. Iran Most Likely ‘Ground Zero’
Houston, Texas – (SatireWorld.com) Scientists at NASA forewarned civilization weeks before an asteriod the size of California would strike ‘somewhere on the planet during December. They were tracking the out of world body with a state-of-the-art telescope from atop the Empire State building in New York City.
Full StoryMcDonalds Tampon Thrower Pleads Guilty
Noosaville, Australia – (SatireWorld.com) An aspiring model who threw a wet tampon at a McDonald’s worker “for a laugh” says the drunken prank has ruined her life. Rebecca Leigh Crimmins, who pleaded guilty to common assault in the Noosa Magistrates Court, said she had “pretty much lost everything” since the tampon-tossing incident in the early [...]
Full StoryAerosmith’s Steven Tyler Loses Punch-up With Bathroom Toilet
Asuncion,Paraguay – (SatireWorld.com) Aerosmith’s lead singer Steven Tyler said that the recent ‘fall’ that knocked his teeth out and cut his eye was caused by shitty food poisoning not a drug induced high.
Full StoryObama Heads Out On Bus Tour-Plans Stop In SC To Pan For Gold
Hickory, NC – (SatireWorld.com) President Obama will kick off a three-day bus trip through small towns in politically competitive North Carolina and South Carolina, but White House officials insist the trip is about jobs, not panning for gold as some reports suggest.
Full StoryMichelle Obama Plans Jumping Jacks Guiness Record – FEMA Puts DC On Earthquake Alert!
The White House – (SatireWorld.com) Michelle Obama wants to jump into the Guinness World Records book next week by helping break the title for the most people doing jumping jacks in a 24-hour period.
Full StoryEnglish Town Holds Anti-Spoof Protest
Dorky,England – (SatireWorld.com) The SW English town of Dorky held a rare celebration last night, an event that pulled in hundreds of angry towns people who gave up a night of television in order to vent their anger at a group of eleven outsiders who internationaly ridiculed their town and its residents on a sub-par [...]
Full StoryMan Invents Self-Banning Computer Software! (viewer discretion advised)
Lancaster, England – (SatireWorld.com) In the ever changing world of science and technology amazing marvels find their way into the desktop computers of millions of consumers. Often before much of the technology is proven or actually fully developed to its greatest potential. A Lancaster man possible upped the ante by developing a software system that [...]
Full StoryLocal Woman Edna Spotz Sees Red After Being Told She’s Not ‘Green’ Enough
Greenville, SC – (SatireWorld.com) In the line at the local grocery store, the bagging clerk told local woman Edna Spotz that she should bring her own grocery bags from now on, because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment. The woman apologized to him and explained, “We didn’t have the ‘greenie thing’ back in my [...]
Full StoryTSA Employee Fired After Releasing Airport X-ray Image Of Boss Janet Napolitano
Chicago, Illinois (SatireWorld.com) Saturday was a bad day for TSA employee Melvin Wasserman-Schultz after he inadvertently released over the internet a photo of his boss Janet Napolitano undergoing a routine body scan at Chicago’s O’Hare Airport.
Full StoryHuffington Post To Buy Fox News!
Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) After several national investigations into the News Corp organization headed by billionaire Rupert Murdock, justices ordered the immediate break-up of the giant media conglomerant. First bidder was Huffington Post/AOL which won the coveted number one cable news company, FOX News.
Full StoryCongress Questions White House Over Titanium Toilets For Air Force One
Aboard Air Force One – (SatireWorld.com) Congressional watchdogs have questioned the White House over a GSA report that lists a $2.4 million dollar expediture for titanium reinforced toilets. According to the report, service consultants from the GSA are now replacing the toilets aboard Air Force One with a larger, stronger seat for, and at the [...]
Full StoryFlorida Sets A Three-Day Waiting Period For Duct Tape Purchases
Tallahassee, Florida – (SatireWorld.com) The startling evidence presented by the State in the Caylee Anthony murder trial has set many in the Florida House and Senate to thinking about existing loopholes in Florida law concerning easily obtainable weapons that could be used to hurt or kill someone.
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