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“Portsmouth Peckerhead” Joins United Kingdom’s Most Wanted List
Portsmouth (UK)- (SatireWorld.com) Scotland Yard has added the infamous “Portsmouth Peckerhead” to their list of the United Kingdom’s Ten Most Wanted List. The criminal, also known as Harold Worth, Ian Skoob, Skoob1999, Lucifer, Mrs. Kensington, Martin Shuttlecock, and Bookseller, is wanted for several crimes all over the United Kingdom.
Full StoryObama Demands National Zoo Exhibit Gummi Bears
Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) Fresh from the heels of a State Trip (family vacation) to Germany, President Obama announced that he feels the National Zoo in Washington D.C. needs to become more international. The President stated that the Zoo needs to add other animals such as Gummi Bears to their exhibits.
Full StoryChris Christie Resigns as New Jersey Governor to be White House Taste Tester
Trenton, NJ – (SatireWorld.com) Chris Christie, the Republican Governor of New Jersey, has announced that he will resign his position to become the official taster for the Obama White House. Christie said that he was frustrated with his inability to make the all-you-can-eat buffet the official lunch of his state and to install one in [...]
Full StoryPolitician Frank Doesn’t Even Win Home State In “Favorite Barney” Contest
Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) In a contest of favorite Barneys, there were very few surprises. Barney Fife (The Andy Griffith Show) did well among persons over fifty who had seen him when his show was on the air, law enforcement officers, and people who enjoyed watching classic television.
Full StoryNew Pope Francis Actually Love Child of Evita Peron
Vatican City, Rome – (SatireWorld.com) Don’t cry for him, Argentina. This publication has just learned that Pope Francis (Jorge Mario Bergoglio) is actually the love child of former Argentine politician Eva Peron.
Full StoryStudies Funded By Stimulus Plan Show Positive Correlation To Long Suggested Theorems
White House Rose Garden – (SatireWorld.com) President Barack Obama boasted in Washington D.C. that studies funded by his 2010 Stimulus Plan have proven that long suspected theories were actually correct. From an impromptu news conference from the Rose Garden, the President was puffed up with pride, seemingly wanting to show Republicans that he was right [...]
Full StoryBloomberg Upset As Court Overturns New York Soda Ban
Bloomberg-ville, NY – (SatireWorld.com) New York’s Mayor Michael Bloomberg is upset that a New York judge has overturned his latest “health” law. In a decision handed down by New York Supreme Court Justice Milton A. Tingling, the new law which bans all sodas larger than sixteen ounces was ruled “arbitraty and capricious.”
Full StoryCollege of Cardinals Announces First Black Pope
Vatican City, Rome – (SatireWorld.com) The College of Cardinals in Vatican City announced the first Black Pope of the Catholic Church. There was speculation that they might break from tradition and choose a black Cardinal, but the black Cardinal that they chose surprised everyone. Larry Fitzgerald, wide receiver and all pro with the Arizona Cardinals, [...]
Full StoryPresident Obama Asks Secretary Of State Kerry To Plan State Visit With King Vitamin
US State Department – (SatireWorld.com) In his continuing effort to pander to all of the foreign Heads of State, U.S. President Barack Obama requested that his new Secretary of State John Kerry schedule an official visit with King Vitamin.
Full StoryMan Who Farted In Catholic Church Accused of Using Weapon of “Mass” Destruction
Orlando, FL – (SatireWorld.com) A judge with a sense of humor charged a man with using a weapon of mass destruction during a Catholic church service. The man, Percival Pissgums of Orlando, Florida, was arrested after repeatedly passing gas in St. Anthony’s Cathedral.
Full StoryF.D.A. Refuses To Allow Import of Breakfast Cereal “Dingleberry Nut Crunch” Into U.S.A.
Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) The Food and Drug Administration issued a release saying that a new breakfast cereal from England, Dingleberry Nut Crunch, will not be allowed to be imported into or sold in the United States. The cereal, which has become a best seller in the British Isles, has a marketing campaign similar to [...]
Full Story84% of Convicted Pedophiles and Pedophile Priests List Man U as Favorite Premier League Team
Manchester (UK)-(SatireWorld.com) In a survey of Catholic Priests in English prison for sexual acts against minors (all male victims), it was discovered that 84% of all those surveyed selected Manchester United (Man U) as their favorite football team in the Premier League. Additionally, it was learned that the favorite football team of all pedophile prisoners [...]
Full StoryEven With Government in Financial Crisis, Obama Hires New Czars
Washington,DC – (SatireWorld.com) Even with the government in financial crisis, President Barack Obama announced the appointment of several new Czars to work with his cabinet. His Czar posts come with a Washington D.C. office, a $250k per year salary, a secretary (paid), an executive assistant (paid), an intern (paid), a driver (paid), and an expense [...]
Full StoryPremier League Team Man U Revealed To Buy Athletic Supporters From Victoria’s Secret
Manchester (UK)-(SatireWorld.com) An delivery driver with dyslexia read an address backwards and accidentally delivered Man U’s order to a Manchester fast food restaurant. After opening a box they thought intended for them, the crew of a McDonald’s learned that the box of red, lacey, silk athletic supporters was actually meant for the Man U Premier [...]
Full StoryFormer Staff Writer Harold Worth Apologizes To Satire World Editors and Reporters
Orlando, FL – (SatireWorld.com) Harold Worth, a former staff writer for this publication, entered our offices in Orlando, Florida yesterday, porkpie hat in hand. Worth had come to make apology to editor Bargis Tryhol and all of the site’s other reporters for derogatory comments that he had made on a recent drunken rage.
Full StoryNew U.S. Ambassador Richard Simmons Wears Pippa Wedding Dress Knock-Off For First Meeting With Queen
London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Richard Simmons, the fitness guru who is the new United States Ambassador to England, wore a discount retailer brand knock off of the famous Pippa Middleton Maid of Honour Dress for his first meeting with Queen Elizabeth II. The Ambassador, who also wore pearls and matching white gloves, said that he [...]
Full Story1999′s “Teaching Mrs. Tingle” Film to Get Sequel
Hollywood, CA – (SatireWorld.com) The 1999 black comedy film from Miramax, “Teaching Mrs. Tingle,” will be updated in a 2014 seqeul. The new movie, to be titled “Touching Mr. Tingle,” will not return any of the cast from the original film (Katie Holmes, Helen Mirren, Molly Ringwald, or Jeffrey Tambor).
Full StoryObama Administration Asks Department of Education to Add “R” Word to List of Banned Words
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) The Obama Administration has requested that the Department of Education to add the “R” word to the list of banned words or phrases that will not be taught in schools. They are also seeking to have the word removed from all media and to have it automatically replaced with a series [...]
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