Archive by Author

Qualifications to Date Me!

Las Cruses, NM – (satireworld.com) Knowing that women the world over are interested in dating a superior example of manhood like me, but are not sure of my standards or my true comfort zone, I present:

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My Annual Rant Against the School System (Part Seven; Other Misc. Crap I Couldn’t Fit In Elsewhere)

USA – (satireworld.com) Note: This is Part Seven of “my two cents worth” about the education system in America. It is not a rant against teachers, but about the overwhelming bureaucracy and waste and stupidity that is the Public School System.

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My Annual Rant Against the School System (Part Six; Failure)

Note: This is Part Six of “my two cents worth” about the education system in America. It is not a rant against teachers, but about the overwhelming bureaucracy and waste and stupidity that is the Public School System.

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My Annual Rant Against the School System (Part Five; Fund Raising Activities)

Note: This is Part Five of “my two cents worth” about the education system in America. It is not a rant against teachers, but about the overwhelming bureaucracy and waste and stupidity that is the Public School System. I called this section “Fund Raising Activities.” It could also be called “Turning Your Children into the […]

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My Annual Rant Against the School System (Part Four; Me and Education)

USA – (satireworld.com) Note: This is Part Four of “my two cents worth” about the education system in America. It is not a rant against teachers, but about the overwhelming bureaucracy and waste and stupidity that is the Public School System.

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My Annual Rant Against the School System (Part Three; Standardized Testing)

USA – (satireworld.com) Note: This is Part Three of “my two cents worth” about the education system in America. It is not a rant against teachers, but about the overwhelming bureaucracy and waste and stupidity that is the Public School System. I could just write the words worthless, stupid, and wasteful here and end this […]

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My Annual Rant Against the School System (Part Two: Educating Illegal Aliens)

USA – (satireworld.com) Note: This is Part Two of “my two cents worth” about the education system in America. It is not a rant against teachers, but about the overwhelming bureaucracy and waste and stupidity that is the Public School System and the Department of Education.

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My Annual Rant Against the School System (Part One; The Supply List)

USA – (satireworld.com) Okay, so it is late in July and the kids are getting ready to go back to school. The local Walmart and Kmart and Target and Office Depot and Office Max and Staples are all full of parents buying baskets full of school supplies from the lists given the stores by the […]

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Zingers: Misc.

(satireworld.com)] Off and on, for about six years, I wrote “snippets” for a different humor website. These were also easy one or two line jokes with a simple set up, followed by a punch line. Some people call these zingers or and others call them different names.

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Zingers: Entertainment

Off and on, for about six years, I wrote “snippets” for a different humor website. These were also easy one or two line jokes with a simple set up, followed by a punch line. Some people call these zingers or and others call them different names.

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Zingers: Sports

(satireworld.com) Off and on, for about six years, I wrote “snippets” for a different humor website. These were also easy one or two line jokes with a simple set up, followed by a punch line. Some people call these zingers or and others call them different names.

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Zingers: Politics and Government

(satireworld.com) Off and on, for about six years, I wrote “snippets” for a different humor website. These were also easy one or two line jokes with a simple set up, followed by a punch line. Some people call these zingers or and others call them different names.

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The Greatest Motivational Pro-American Speech Ever (and it wasn’t delivered by a politician… and it isn’t politically correct)

On this 4th of July weekend, I think that General George S. Patton said it best:

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The Guide to Etiquette in the 21st Century

Peoria, IL – (satireworld.com) The latest people to write the Emily Post, Amy Vanderbilt, Ann Landers, Dear Abby, and Hints from Heloise column have all joined together to create a guide for etiquette in the 21st century.

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S.A.T. Test to Dumb Down Due to Dimwitted Dudes

Seattle, WA – (satireworld.com) Makers of the S.A.T., the P.S.A.T., and the A.C.T. test announced and admitted today that they are dumbing down their tests due to falling scores. Officials at the National Center for Educational Studies, a watchdog group, blame this decline on “the emergence of other priorities into the life of the average […]

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Arkansas Announces Plans to Clean Up State for Tourism and Such

Arkansas Announces Plans To Clean Up State For Tourism ======================================================

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It’s Time For A Few Riddles!

Jman’s Corner Yes, boys and girls, it is time to solve a few riddles. Get your thinking caps on and your funny bones ready, because here they come! Your old buddy Jalapenoman wrote most of these back between 2006 and 2011, but I’ve decided to dust them off and let you read them again.

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Actress Emma Watson Admits That One Of Her Internet “Fake Nudes” Is Real

London UK – (satireworld.com) British actress Emma Watson, who played Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter series of films, admitted today that one of her “fake nudes” posted on the internet is actually her. Watson, who is twenty-four years old, is the subject of thousands of photo-shopped nude pictures on the World Wide Web.

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Winnie the Pooh Comes Out of the Closet

(Toon Town, the 100 Acre Wood, Jellystone Park, and Hollywood) – (satireworld.com) Winnie the Pooh, that willy, nilly, silly old bear, announced at a news conference in Toon Town that he is gay. The revelation, of course, drew no astonishment from those in attendance. The surprise, however, was reserved for the revelation of his lover […]

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“Anal Seepage” Voted Least Favorite Thing To Discover In A Chair

Las Cruces, NM – (satireworld.com) In a poll conducted by The Harvard Institute of Silly Surveys That Waste Government Money But Provide Work For Tenured Professors, Lazy Students and ACORN Workers, Anal Seepage was voted “The Least Favorite Thing To Find In A Chair.”

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TV Show Schedule Revealed For “Who Wants to be a Hilton?”

Hollywood,CA – (satireworld.com) Network executives leaked to the press today the schedule for the upcoming reality series “Who Wants To Be a Hilton?” The show will star the mother of the famous Hilton sisters and will try to turn a group of middle, lower, and classless people into upper caste classless socialites without morals (or […]

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The Votes Are In….Jane Fonda Has Fourth Win For….’America’s Biggest Traitor’

Backstabbing Institute of America – (satireworld.com) Jane Fonda, long called Hanoi Jane by anyone who actually remembers the 60’s in anything other than a drugged out haze, has been voted the top American Traitor in an independent news poll. The results of the poll, which will air on a new reality series to be titled […]

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MSNBC Fires Writer For Not Putting Political Slant on News Story

MSNBC Studios, NY – (satireworld.com) Melvin Mitsoe was asked to clean out his desk today at MSNBC. His boss then did the embarrassing job of looking through the cardboard box to make sure that Melvin wasn’t taking home anything that didn’t belong to him. The young reporter, who graduated with honors from the University of […]

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PHOTO OF THE DAY

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Clay Aiken Insults Republicans, Whites, and Mormons

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Clay Aiken showed how much he believes in his charity, The National Inclusion Project, by attempting to exclude Whites, Mormons, and Republicans. The openly gay singer said that he was taking a drink every time he saw a black at the Republican National Convention and was as sober as Mormon.

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Who Is Really the Domestic Terrorist? A Satireworld Editorial

A SATIRE WORLD EDITORIAL So… the Honorable Ex-Senate Majority Leader from Nevada (Mr. Harry Reid) believes that all of the people who once showed up to protest the treatment of the rancher in his home state are “Domestic Terrorists.” Does he also believe that the people who showed up to support Trayvon Martin were also […]

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MSNBC Announces Date for Sixth Annual “Take Your Barack Obama Blow Up Sex Doll to Work Day”

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) The MSNBC broadcast network has announced that Friday, May 2nd, will be their sixth annual “Take Your Barack Obama Blow Up Sex Doll to Work Day.” Network employee Chris “Tingles” Matthews said “While many companies hold a “Take Your Daughter to Work Day” or “Take Your Child to Work […]

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Actress Kirsten Dunst Breaks From Hollywood Norm, Espouses Traditional Gender Roles

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com) Actress Kirsten Dunst apparently is one Hollywood actress that has the ability to express an opinion that is contrary to the non-traditional, liberal, feminist agenda of her industry. In an interview with Harper’s Bazaar UK, Dunst said: “”I feel like the feminine has been a little undervalued. We all have to […]

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Obama Orders U.S. Flags to Fly at Half Mast for One Month at Death of Illegal Alien Aunt

Boston, MA – (satireworld.com) It is traditionally an honor reserved for former Presidents of the United States. It has also been used to memorialize tragedies such as 9/11, the Space Shuttle disasters, or the Oklahoma City Bombing. Now, the tradition of lowering the American Flag to half mast will be used to commemorate and remember […]

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Why I Can Embarrass My Kids

(A SatireWorld Editorial) Parents embarrass their children all of the time, and children get upset about it. We, however, have earned the right to embarrass our children in public in the cruelest, meanest, and most demeaning and insulting ways possible. We can do that because we earned that right, and we earned it because:

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