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Cruz to Name Glenn Beck As His Choice For ‘Secretary of Fasting’

Indianapolis, IN – (satireworld.com) Presidential hopeful Senator Ted Cruz interrupted his twenty-two hour prayer vigilance in Indianapolis where he and his minister father prayed for some Devine Intervention during Tuesday’s primary election.

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Now, A Word From Our Sponsors….

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White Baker Convicted of Nazi Support in Chicago

Chicago, IL – (satireworld.com) A baker who calls himself ‘The Pillsbury Dough-Boy’ was convicted of charges he supported an exclusive club for area Nazis and often gave them dough for promoting rallies and secret retreats in neighboring Skokie.

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‘Sharia Law Edict Bans Women From Handling Cucumbers and Bananas’ Says London Cleric

London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) An Islamic cleric residing in London said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any “sexual thoughts.”

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Adolph Hitler’s Grand Daughter Ava Gives Birth To Twin Boys In Bonn Hospital

Bonn, Germany – (SatireWorld.com) Adolf Hitler’s only granddaughter, Ava Gesundheit Braun-Hitler, announced the August birth of twin sons who were delivered in a secret underground bunker beneath Bonn General Hospital. Reportedly the twins were conceived at the Josef Mengele Fertility Clinic in Paz, Bolivia. Both mother and twins are reportedly doing fine. A huge torch […]

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Chelsea Clinton Baby Drama! Baby Daddy Confusion For 2016!

New York City – (satireworld.com) Chelsea Clinton was beaming on the red carpet Thursday night, just hours after sharing with the world the happy news that she and Marc Mezvinsky are expecting their first child. The 34-year-old revealed she was pregnant Thursday afternoon to reporters who couldn’t wait tp swoon over a positive angle on […]

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Las Cruces School Board To Enforce ‘Underwear Must Be On’ Ruling For Teachers

Las Cruces, NM – (SatireWorld.com) The school district in Las Cruces, New Mexico has announced plans for a dress code that will require teachers to wear underwear every single day. Female teachers will have to wear bras too.

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Anthony Weiner In Minor Car Crash In New York City

NEW YORK CITY, NY – (SatireWorld.com) New York City mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner has emerged unscathed from a minor car crash on a busy Manhattan highway.

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Rachel Jeantel Wins Broward County Spelling Bee

Fort Lauderdale, FL – (SatireWorld.com) Fresh from testifying at the Trayvon Martin murder trial, 19 year old Rachel Jeantel found new glory after winning the annual Broward County Third Grade Spelling Bee.

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Manchester Man Arrested For Having Sex With Pool Float

Manchester(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) For the second time in two years, a Manchester man has been charged with public indecency for allegedly “having sexual relations with a rubber pool float,” a magistrate’s report claims it happened on July 10th. Mark Lowtun, age 14, was indicted today in connection with last month’s incident, which reportedly occurred outside […]

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CAIR Volunteer Held On Child Rape Charge, Says 12 Year Old Girl ‘Dressed Too Provocatively’

Denver, CO – (SatireWorld.com) A university senior, and an immigrant from Cairo, accused of having sex with a 12-year-old girl told police the runaway was “dressed provocatively” when he met her near the University of Colorado campus.

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‘Fat Girls of America’ Vote Gov. Chris Christie ‘Sexiest Fat Man On Earth’

Hackensack, NJ – (SatireWorld.com) The votes are in and counted. The Fat Girls of American have proclaimed the ‘Sexiest Fat Man on Earth’ and it’s no other than Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey.

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Competing Writer Forms Ragtag Army Attacks SatireWorld!

London, England – (SatireWorld.com) Scores of drunken and mainly over-the-hill Englishmen launched an unprovoked attack against SatireWorld early this morning. Casualties were reported to be heavy on the English side as patriotic SW defenders threw projectiles made from ‘Dorky Books’ back in defense of their territory. When asked to explain what that particular book was, […]

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Obama Tied With Bush As Least Liked President

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) While the mainstream press routinely reports that President Obama is riding high and that Republicans are reeling, Gallup tells a rather different story about the popularity of our newly reelected president.

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Caught! Bill Clinton Disguised as Wife Hillary At All Woman’s Charitable Event

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) If you were the world’s most notorious lady’s man, possibly the best place to be is at the annual star-studded gala honoring female celebrities in New York. Not only could you support global charities, but be at a place where beautiful young women in skimpy dresses are bountiful.

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Obama Hopes For Future Turkey Pardon For Himself

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) With 15% of the American people on food stamps and unemployment increasing as thousands of business lay off workers due to healthcare cost fears, President Obama took some time off from golf to pardon a turkey for Thanksgiving.

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Michelle Obama: “Please Vote For My Husband!”

The White House – (SatireWorld.com) Dear American Taxpayer, For only the second time in my adult life, I am not ashamed of my country. I want to thank the hard working American people for paying $242 thousand dollars for my recent vacation in Spain. My daughter Sasha, several long-time family friends, my personal staff, Mom […]

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Romney Claims ‘Obama Eats Dogs’…. President’s Own Autobiography Confirms The Statement

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) For the first time, the Mitt Romney campaign is fighting back in the War on Dogs. An excerpt from President Barack Obama’s bestselling memoir “Dreams From My Father,” in which Obama writes of eating dog meat when he was a little boy in Indonesia has confirmed Romney’s charges.

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Texas Planned Parenthood President Arrested After Publically Exposing Himself

Lubbock, Texas – (SatireWorld.com) Tony Ray Thornton, the President and CEO of the Lubbock, Texas Planned Parenthood affiliate, was released from custody Tuesday morning following his arrest Monday for indecent exposure.

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Obama Administration OK’s Gestapo-Like Journalistic Monitoring and Censorship By Feds

(RT)Freedom of speech might allow journalists to get away with a lot in America, but the Department of Homeland Security is on the ready to make sure that the government is keeping dibs on who is saying what.

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Lost Nazi Documents Reveal Hitler Play-Acted WWII Naval Battles In His Bathtub

Bonn, Germany – (SatireWorld.com) A lost trove of historical documents has given World War II history buffs an inside look at how Nazi leader Adolph Hitler planned WWII naval battles well in advance of actual combat.

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The 2011 Dorking Dorks Award Winners Are….

It’s with great pleasure that SatireWorld announces….. it’s that time again…..The Dorking Dorks Awards are out! These Annual Honors are given to the persons who did the human gene pool the biggest service by disposing of themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.

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Woman Arrested For Trying To Cut Her Sleeping Husband’s Head Off With A Saw

Seattle, WA – (SatireWorld.com) A Seattle woman is behind bars after allegedly attempting to behead her sleeping husband with a powerful reciprocating saw.

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Union Bakers Panic After $16.00 Per Blueberry Muffin Government Rip-Off Discovered

Washington, DC- (SatireWorld.com) They’re calling it Muffingate! Fresh on the heels of Barack Obama’s squirrel-like chattering to raise personal taxes on anyone who is rich, or has an income that exceeds what socialist President Obama considers ‘rich,’a new scandal has emerged that shows the wasteful practices of the current Administration.

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As Waves Pound New Jersey Coast MTV’s ‘Snooki’ Feared Washed Out To Sea

Snooki, who claims she can swallow a pickle whole and still breathe, is believed lost at sea.

Seaside Heights, New Jersey – (SatireWorld.com) As the vicious waves pounded the dunes and boardwalk at famous Seaside Heights, the MTV home of the cast of Jersey Shore was demolished by 24 foot waves and swept out to sea. Previously thought abandoned by an order to evacuate all low lying areas, officials conceeded that one […]

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Obama Still Apologizing To The World… And The Burger King

President Barack Obama found himself in a predicament after TV cameras caught him paying homage by bowing to of all people….the Burger King.

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Adolf Hitler’s Grand Daughter Offers A Safe Home For Casey Anthony

Bonn, Germany – (SatireWorld.com) Hilda Hitler is in the news again after a well publicized offer to recently acquitted child murderer Casey Anthony. Hitler has offered the 24 yerar old Anthony a place to stay high in the Bavarian mountains away from media and curiosity seekers.

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First Lady And Family Head To South Africa For Yet Another Taxpayer Supported Vacation

Washington, DC-(SatireWorld.com) According to first lady Michelle Obama it’s do as I say, not what I do! Remember the Michelle campaign of healthy eating and proper food choices for Americans? How about the much touted White House Garden, the scene of a hundred photo-ops with a hoe-in-hand Michelle bravely tilling the soil in a righteous […]

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Another Day In Congress you say? Nope, Just Another Wiener In Hot Water

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Well, it looks like summer is off to a running start with the season’s first brewing sex scandal amongst the ‘better than thou set’ in Washington. Newlywed Rep. Anthony Wiener (D-NY) has been caught, well, padding the evidence so to say, after revelations emerged this week that he sent photos […]

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