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Kanye Bids For Seat On ExxonMobil Board

Irving, Texas – (SatireWorld.com) Buoyed by his tete-a-tete with President-elect Donald Trump rapper Kanye West has put forward his credentials to bigwigs at ExxonMobil, confident an imminent appointment is in the bag.

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Spooky How Trump Hires Cousin Joe To Raise Deportation Posse

Maricopa County, Arizona – (SatireWorld.com) “First thing we gonna do is deport Barack Obama back home to Jamaica,” Maricopa County’s recently deposed sheriff Joe Arpaio said today amid news of his latest appointment as President Trump’s Homeland Insecurity enforcer. As foretold by some guy called Nostradamus in the year 1289.

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Poetry Corner – ‘Hillary’

SatireWorld.com – Hillary (With apologies to Hilaire Belloc, 1870 – 1953)

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Hillary Loses All Sense Of Huma

New York – (SatireWorld.com) Forensic cryptologists are busy checking for signs of paranormal activity in Mrs Clinton’s knickers this weekend amid fears that a spooky, hexoplasm-riddled thumb drive may have been secreted inside one of her cavernous pantiliner gussets, according to SatireWorld.com reports.

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Hillary’s Hollywood ‘Walk Of Shame’ Star Is In Its Ascendancy

Santa Monica Lewinsky, California – (SatireWorld.com) A Sunset Boulevard picture agency has announced the imminent publication of its long-awaited Halloween Special. Featuring morning-after-the-night-before shots of a ratarsed Mrs Clinton crawling out of her very married, dual Oscar winner lover’s matrimonial four-poster.

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Rainy Day Women #12 & 35 Is What Swung It For Nobel Literature Gong Says UN Professor Of Weedology

Oslo, Norway – (SatireWorld.com) A world renowned authority on recreational pharmacology has gone on record about the award of the 2016 Nobel Prize for Literature to Bob Dylan.

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That Largactil Shuffle Pant Suit A Foretaste Of Men-In-White-Coats To Come

Nevada – (SatireWorld.com) An Oscar de la Rentboy AW16-17 padded straitjacket stole the show at the University of Nevada last night as Hillary Clinton channeled her inner Madam President psychosis. And Blue Dog Dems everywhere cried Jesus F***ing Wept.

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Obama Foundation Manhattan Base Outed

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) “No wonder Bill Clinton is pissed,” a concierge at the imposing Billionaires Row tower said this weekend, “now that his Arkansas Presidential Library rooftop poop (pool? – Ed) pipe-dream’s been trumped – by Obama’s new Foundation pad.”

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Hillary Pleads Congenital Amnesia About Amanda Knox

Washington AC/DC – (SatireWorld.com) She’s putting back the con into congenital amnesia in what’s thought to be a little known side effect of post-partum psychosis affecting the world’s most incorrigible liars about the existence of secret offspring they wish didn’t exist.

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Swine Flu Over The Cuckold’s Nest As Hillary Channels Rigor Mortis

New York – (SatireWorld.com) “Sounds like a classic case of drop dead tertiary psycho-syphilis,” Carnegie Hill shrink Professor Einstein Flintstone said today amid reports that Democratic Party basket case Hillary Clinton is slowly going nuts ahead of the upcoming presidential election.

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Weiner Schweine Schmuck-Musik Opens On Broadway

New York City – (SatireWorld.com) A new musical about the life of failed US Congressman Anthony Weiner is to premiere on Broadway this week based loosely on what critics describe as ‘A Serenade In F-Sharp For G String With A Minor’.

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Lost? Scared? Heading For A Pre-Election Bladder Seizure?? Latest Mobile Tools Alert Clinton Family Of Hillary’s Location, Status, Bloodpressure C*unt, etc

New York City – (SatireWorld.com) “So far none of her mobile apps, wearables or social media site contacts appears to have been infiltrated,” a campaign mouthpiece said today amid reports that Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has been security tagged with a high tech ankle bracelet that alerts Bill, Chelsea and/or much of the Clinton […]

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EU Hits Apple With Donziger-Style Racketeering Lawsuit

Brussels, Belgium, Arsehole Of The Universe – (SatireWorld.com) Not since Ecuadorian madman Rafael Correa tried pissing all over Chevron in a corrupt $19bn racketeering lawsuit comprehensively shot down by the US courts has an American corporation been targeted so cynically by shady foreign chancers gunning for a heist.

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Menstrual Psychosis Dogged Hillary Clinton’s FLOTUS Years

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) Abandoned for posterity inside her cavernous punani during the notorious 1992-2000 Clinton/Gore period, a rancid tampon may have been behind almost a decade of the former Fist Lady’s bloody tantrums according to the latest forensic psychiatry report.

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Blue Dog Dems Rally Support In New Chandra Levy Murder Probe

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) Pals of Gary Condit, the former US Congressman exonerated in the federal investigation of murdered 24 year-old DC intern Chandra Levy, are amassing an evidence dossier of ‘rogue’ Party members suspected of a cover-up in the 2001 Rock Creek Park killing.

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Black Thighs Matter As US Protest Spreads To UK

London, UK – (SatireWorld.com) There was heavy disruption close to Heathrow Airport this morning when a group of grossly corpulent activists chained themselves to the freeway in protest at police law enforcement of local gang thuggery.

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Monica Lewinsky Mulls $50,000 Fee To Inaugurate London’s Fellatio Cafe

London, UK, The Seat of Empire – (SatireWorld.com) Offering a ‘free’ blowjob with each mouthwateringly priced $100 cappuccino a new oral sex-themed restaurant in London is hoping to lure former Clinton intern Monica Lewinsky to do the honors at its official opening next month.

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Vileness Most Horrid As Brits Recall Cold Blooded Execution Of PM May’s Gorgeous Little Pooch

Downing Street, London, The Seat of Empire – (SatireWorld.com) The silence in Whitehall is deafening tonight as diplomatic staff recoil in horror at events in 2013 when a ‘totally nekkid’ former US Secretary of Snakes Hillary Clinton fatally shot then Home Secretary Theresa May’s ten month-old pet Schnauzer Prokofiev following a crack smoking session with […]

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‘UK Ministry For Big Oil Relations’ As New Brit PM Scorns Eco-Truther Crap

London, UK – (SatireWorld.com) “Bollocks to global warming is now official UK government policy,” a spokesperson at the newly-created Ministry for Big Oil Relations said today as new British Prime Minister Theresa May wielded the ax to the Tories’ long term flagshit shop window, the Department for the Environment and Climate Change.

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Hillary Clinton Likened To ‘Sadistic Mental Health Nurse’ by Brits’ Newly-Appointed John Kerry Counterpart

London, UK – (SatireWorld.com) Not content with lampooning Turkey’s daft-as-a-brush misogynist president Recep Tayib Erdogan as a con-genital (sick) goat fucker, newly appointed UK Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has described Democrat Party presidential nominee Hillary Clinton as resembling a ‘sadistic mental health nurse’.

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See No Weevil, Hear No Weevil As FBI Chief Shrugs Off Clinton Server Bug Report

New York, NY – (Satireworld.com) Computer buggers who harvested classified emails from Hillary Clinton’s highly illicit private server may have sucked up some huge unauthorized privileges – but so the f*** what?

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Climate Change Blamed As Bill Clinton Has Alzheimers Rumor

New York, NY – (Satireworld.com) “She’s gonna dump Bill in a geriatric Supermax,” a DNC spokesperson said today, “soon as the last vote’s been counted on November 8.”

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Vince Foster ‘Found Out Something Disgusting About Al Gore’: Report

New York – (Satireworld.com) “Just ONE thing? Must have been a lousy lawyer – or numerically dyslectic!” That’s an investigator’s considered opinion about recent headlines describing how former Clinton White House deputy legal counsel and ex-Rose Law partner Vince Foster was discovered RIP at a Fort Marcy Park, Virginia, parking lot in a classic, two-bullet […]

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Dozens DC Pizza Drones Drafted As Congress Sit-In Dems Threaten Gun Control Hunger Strike

Washington DC – (Satireworld.com) – A popular Georgetown pizzeria run by aficionados of the Flying Burrito Brothers was put top of FEMA’s humanitarian aid delivery network as news of the protest broke today.

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Hillary Channels President Frump

New York – (Satireworld.com) – A bomb has gone off in the DNC schmatta closet this weekend as presidential wannabe Hillary Clinton stepped out in her latest frock horror, a natty Oscar de la Rent Boy two-piece from the designer’s Summer 2016 Shortarse Collection.

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OMFG! Chelsea’s Baby Boy Is A Republican!

New York – (Satireworld.com) “The seven pounder was born with a VOTE TRUMP!** birthmark on his temple,” an obstetrician at New York’s Seedy Sign-Eye Hospital tweeted today as a pics of Chelsea Clinton’s latest farrowing went viral on the net.

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Killer Shark Spotted Close to Clintons’ Long Island Rental

Quogue, NY – (Satireworld.com) Nicknamed locally the Whitewater Killer after Bill ‘n’ Hill’s disastrous real estate investment punt a Great White Loan Shark was sighted this morning menacing Long Island’s balmy waters near the Vince Foster Lane private beach where the former Fist Couple is vacationing come August.

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Clitoris Foundation curbs foreign donors

New York – (Satireworld.com): The wannabe Madam President’s charitable organ has been blasted for accepting $$$s from foreign sperm donors with terrible human frights records – including ‘Philosophy of the World’ albums by The Shaggs (1969).

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Jihadis Rewrite Story Of Nativity

Fallujah, Iraq – (Satireworld.com) Islamic Snake terrorists have published their own, twisted tail on the birth of Jesus according to a Red-C-Pedestrian-Times book-review posted on JihadiBaddi.con today.

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Gozza Bullish On Wings Of Desire For Saturday’s Epsom Derby

Newmarket, UK – (Satireworld.com) “Sure knocks the spots off them pesky Irish raiders,” a leading stablehand said today as bookmakers slashed the odds on Wings Of De Sire, the beautiful chestnut colt with strong Northern Dancer bloodlines that’s firing up the nation’s gonads for UK flat racing’s premier prize.

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