Archive by Author

Brit Thrift Store Chain Swamped With Pervert Staff

London – (SatireWorld.com) – Up to 23,000 suspected sex perverts are manning the tills at 650 state-sponsored thrift shops according to latest government figures released today.

Full Story

London Jewel Heist Cops Probe Royal Engagement Bling

London – (SatireWorld.com) – Police on the trail of £30 millionsworth of jewelry from the Hatton Garden heist have issued artist’s impressions of several engagement sparklers suspected of being fenced into eager royal hands.

Full Story

Camel Botox Hillary Readies For The Hump

New York City, New York – (SatireWorld.com) Two hundredweight of Botox impounded at a Saudi camel beauty pageant was redirected to Clinton Foundation orifices this morning ahead of its upcoming annual Valentines Day bash.

Full Story

London Embassy Siege Latest

London – (SatireWorld.com) Hundreds of police have been deployed outside the Iranian embassy in London this weekend in a concerted bid to ‘stop the bastards escaping’ according to latest diplomatic reports.

Full Story

Trump Stumped In Failed US London Embassy Flip

London – (SatireWorld.com) A pair of conjoined parasitic twins very nearly sold America’s London embassy building to Donald Trump for One Measly Dollar according to Royal Courts of Justice papers filed today.

Full Story

Spellchecker Bug Behind White House Staffer’s Bum Rush Booting?

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) A computer bug may be in the frame behind the sudden, unexplained firing of Omarosa Manigault Newman, defunct White House Office of Public Liaison communications director, according to latest SatireWorld reports.

Full Story

Sexy Rexy Apoplexy At GOP Moves To Install Big Oil Factotum In The White House

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) President Trump is to be removed from orifice and replaced with former ExxonMobil CEO Rex Tillerson, current US Secretary of State, according to a Capitol Hill deep throat briefing today.

Full Story

Obama Character Witness Testimony At Saudi Perverts Trial

New York – (SatireWorld.com) Ex-US president Barack Obama has been summonsed as a character witness in the upcoming House of Sword princes corruption trial.

Full Story

Lee Harvey Oswald Traveled To Cuba To Witness Barack Obama Nativity Assassination Files Reveal

Havana, Cuba – (SatireWorld.com) “Like second coming of Three Wise Men,” Gordo Bastardo, former governor of Havana’s notorious Pudenda Enorma women’s jail told SatireWorld reporters as newly released JFK assassination files went viral today.

Full Story

Motion Picture Academy Strips Weinstein, Vows to ‘Redistribute Oscars To Poor People’

Los Angeles, Calipornia – (SatireWorld.com) Likely beneficiaries under consideration are thought to include bankrupt former porn stars and their disenfranchised crack dealer chums who lost out on hard-won ObamaScare benefits following the election of President Trump last year.

Full Story

Swinestein Headlines Trump NRA ‘Bum Stocks’ Ploy

New York – (SatireWorld.com) – Sheepish-looking alleged sex pest Harvey Winestein, 69, was off rehab clinic this weekend amid lurid claims “it’s all a ploy” by the fake news industry to dumb down other, more sordid stuff.

Full Story

Assisted Suicide Theory As Top Russian Banker Found Shot Dead

Moscow – [SatireWorld.com] In a case spookily reminiscent of the tragic – and slightly unexplained – 1993 RIP of Clinton White House deputy counsel Vince Foster a senior banker at Moscow’s state-owned GazPogromBank was found ‘suicided’ this morning, with two silver bullets lodged inside his head.

Full Story

UN Warns Of Upcoming Catastrophe As 40,000 Face Axe

NYC, New York – (SatireWorld.com) There were scenes of devastation outside the United Nations Plaza today amid a protest by forty thousand of the UN’s 44,000 payroll staff who have suddenly been given the sack.

Full Story

Monday’s Solar Eclipse ‘A Kick Up The Ass’ For America’s Anal Bleaching Profession

Los Angeles, California – (SatireWorld.com) Astrologers studying Monday’s upcoming solar eclipse are bullish about the impact on West Coast anal skin lightening facilities according to an authoritative op ed.

Full Story

South Pole Calderas Fool Global Warming Cabal

Antarctica – (SatireWorld.com) Climate Change hot air suffered yet another blow this weekend following the publication of the Western Antarctic Research Base report about volcanic eruptions under the Ross Ice Shelf.

Full Story

Has a ‘dirty’ Brit general covered up Donald Trump’s Russian origins?

London, UK – (SatireWorld.com) A highly decorated World War III general and former UK Chief of Stuff was being quizzed at a covert location this morning following a dawn raid by officers from Operation Ratsarse.

Full Story

Swiss Bank Vault Raid Yields Hundreds Of Nazi-Looted Artworks

Basel, Switzerland – (SatireWorld.com) Swiss police have executed an international search warrant at the headquarters of First Vatican Money-Laundering Bank Of Miracles following a tip-off from the FBI.

Full Story

Joe Arpaio Is Trump Pick For Mexico Wall Warden

Fountain Hills, Arizona -(satireworld.com) The ex-Maricopa County sheriff is reported to be first in line for the $500,000 per annum position of keeping Mexicans out of the USA. At 85-years old the Fountain Hills maverick veteran lawman is also bookies’ 5/4 favorite for the controversial Trump Mexican border wall enforcement appointment due to a slew […]

Full Story

Tramp Junior Is Putin’s Daughter Says Russian Deep Throat

Moscow – (SatireWorld.com) According to laryngologists at Moscow’s famous Rear, Nose & Throat Hospital flaxen-heired Ms Junior has tested positive following analysis of intimate swabs. The news comes amid rising US-Russian tensions about KGB interference in 2016’s presidential troll. Uh, poll.

Full Story

Bader Ginsburg Banana Shot Scuppers Pool Sharks’ Hate Mail Scam

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) Supreme Court Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has ‘sure slipped a mean one’ right past the Trump Camp’s nose in a 9-Ball recluse refusal, the Associated Mess is reporting tonight.

Full Story

Rookie Auditions For SCOTUS Garage Band

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) US Supreme Court newby Neil Gorsuch is honing his ‘I-Shot-The-Sheriff’ tonight ahead of next week’s anticipated SCOTUS garage band audition.

Full Story

Kanye Bids For Seat On ExxonMobil Board

Irving, Texas – (SatireWorld.com) Buoyed by his tete-a-tete with President-elect Donald Trump rapper Kanye West has put forward his credentials to bigwigs at ExxonMobil, confident an imminent appointment is in the bag.

Full Story

Spooky How Trump Hires Cousin Joe To Raise Deportation Posse

Maricopa County, Arizona – (SatireWorld.com) “First thing we gonna do is deport Barack Obama back home to Jamaica,” Maricopa County’s recently deposed sheriff Joe Arpaio said today amid news of his latest appointment as President Trump’s Homeland Insecurity enforcer. As foretold by some guy called Nostradamus in the year 1289.

Full Story

Poetry Corner – ‘Hillary’

SatireWorld.com – Hillary (With apologies to Hilaire Belloc, 1870 – 1953)

Full Story

Hillary Loses All Sense Of Huma

New York – (SatireWorld.com) Forensic cryptologists are busy checking for signs of paranormal activity in Mrs Clinton’s knickers this weekend amid fears that a spooky, hexoplasm-riddled thumb drive may have been secreted inside one of her cavernous pantiliner gussets, according to SatireWorld.com reports.

Full Story

Hillary’s Hollywood ‘Walk Of Shame’ Star Is In Its Ascendancy

Santa Monica Lewinsky, California – (SatireWorld.com) A Sunset Boulevard picture agency has announced the imminent publication of its long-awaited Halloween Special. Featuring morning-after-the-night-before shots of a ratarsed Mrs Clinton crawling out of her very married, dual Oscar winner lover’s matrimonial four-poster.

Full Story

Rainy Day Women #12 & 35 Is What Swung It For Nobel Literature Gong Says UN Professor Of Weedology

Oslo, Norway – (SatireWorld.com) A world renowned authority on recreational pharmacology has gone on record about the award of the 2016 Nobel Prize for Literature to Bob Dylan.

Full Story

That Largactil Shuffle Pant Suit A Foretaste Of Men-In-White-Coats To Come

Nevada – (SatireWorld.com) An Oscar de la Rentboy AW16-17 padded straitjacket stole the show at the University of Nevada last night as Hillary Clinton channeled her inner Madam President psychosis. And Blue Dog Dems everywhere cried Jesus F***ing Wept.

Full Story

Obama Foundation Manhattan Base Outed

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) “No wonder Bill Clinton is pissed,” a concierge at the imposing Billionaires Row tower said this weekend, “now that his Arkansas Presidential Library rooftop poop (pool? – Ed) pipe-dream’s been trumped – by Obama’s new Foundation pad.”

Full Story

Hillary Pleads Congenital Amnesia About Amanda Knox

Washington AC/DC – (SatireWorld.com) She’s putting back the con into congenital amnesia in what’s thought to be a little known side effect of post-partum psychosis affecting the world’s most incorrigible liars about the existence of secret offspring they wish didn’t exist.

Full Story