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AT&T Promises ‘Free Cell Phones’ and ‘No Monthly Charges’ To Consumers After T-Mobile Merger

by Steely Beast on 30/03/11 at 4:18 am

Washington, DC-(SatireWorld.com)

Congressional hearings wrapped up today at the Capitol with the chairman of the FCC claiming a victory in certifying the proposed merger of telecom giants AT&T and T-Mobile.

Director Lenny P Morgenstern held up the agreement proclaiming his ‘it’s free for everyone’ statement that shocked congressman into voting for it after a short 15 minute hearing. Morgenstern was referring to the statement by ATT&T chairman Anthony ‘Sonnyboy’ Luchese who claims the merger will result in ‘free cell phones for everyone without any monthly charges.’

Critics over at www.StopThisMerger.com claim it’s a pack of lies and the real reason behind the merger is pure greed and the lust for control over the airwaves.

Commentator Brian Jones had this comment for the press, “We can’t let this group run our lives! The ‘free phones’ are only good for 6 phone calls then they lock-up and you have to purchase an ‘un-freeze fee’ of $200.00! As far as free,no monthly service, they’re sorta right in that statemernt but neglect to say it’s only ‘free’ for a 500 foot radius of your home. After that it’s the highest fee in the nation.”

Others have refuted the ATT&T claim by saying the average cell phone statement of around $40.00 per month will triple once the telecon giant gets its way.