Muslims Denounce New Bacon-Infused Ammunition But Still Support Sharia Beheadings

by on 22/03/14 at 9:33 am

Guaranteed to close the door to Heaven and that means no virgins for Mohammed!

‘Pigs Do Fly!’ Guaranteed to close the door to Heaven and that means no virgins for Mohammed!

Manassas, VA – (satireworld.com)

You’ve probably already heard about the bizarre, cowardly slaughter of an off-duty British soldier in broad daylight on a busy street in London in May 2013 by two Islamic buttwipes with visions of 72 virgins in his demented head.

The two assailants struck the victim with a car then jumped out and began hacking and slashing him with knives and a meat cleaver. The murderers then strutted around the victim’s body for 15 to 20 minutes until armed police arrived, upon which the self-proclaimed jihadists launched an assault on the police and were shot.

The attack occurred in the middle of the day on a busy city street, and though there were numerous witnesses to the atrocity – including at least one uniformed London police officer – no one made any effort to stop the assault in progress.

Most strange is the way that the attackers waited around after the slaughter, strutting and bragging, but not particularly threatening or attempting to harm any of the onlookers, until armed police units finally arrived, at which point the murderers commenced what could only be characterized as a suicide attack – having brought knives to a gunfight.

Many have asked why the attackers just waited around for the armed police. Why didn’t they flee or continues attacking others, as one might expect from a couple of crazed murderers? What were they waiting for?

The answer to that question is very significant. These men were waiting for their tickets to Paradise – and 72 virgins. They engaged in their act of jihad, killing an “infidel aggressor, enemy of Islam,” and then waited around for the armed police to show up so they could die in battle for Allah’s glory, martyrs, and therefore elected for special rewards in Paradise. The plan was short-circuited to a degree by the London cops’ failure to actually kill the men. Both were seriously wounded and taken to a nearby hospital where they were treated for their injuries.

Whether martyrs for Allah actually receive a reward of 72 virgins in Paradise, is open for debate among Muslims, but what is not debatable is the fact that there are Islamist preachers who use this promise to encourage young men to engage in jihad. And apparently, at least some young men are convinced.

So how do you deal with religious extremists who believe that dying for their faith is an Express Ticket to Paradise?

Killing them seems to just give them what they think they want. Only wounding them, as in this recent case, leaves the messy business of a public trial, and in a “civilized” country like England, where they have abolished the death penalty, it means that these young men will probably live out their lives as wards of the government, living martyrs for their cause, and teachers for future generations of young Muslim hooligans who will sit at their feet in taxpayer-funded, prison “Islamic study centers.”

Jihawg Ammunition 9mm Pig Tainted Ammo

A company in northern Idaho has come up with a culturally sensitive solution. Jihawg Ammo has developed a proprietary system for infusing ballistic paint with pork. The special pork-infused paint is then applied to the bullets of loaded ammunition. The inclusion of pork in the paint makes the bullets haraam, or unclean. Under Islamic law, anyone who comes in contact with any haraam item is then unclean, and must engage in a cleansing ritual. No unclean person can be admitted into Paradise. Do not pass Go. Do not collect 72 virgins.

The objective of Jihawg Ammo is not to insult Muslims, nor even to send a terrorist to Hell. The objective is to serve as a deterrent – to place the promise of instant passage to Paradise into doubt in the minds of would-be jihadists. Without the promise of Paradise, how many Muslim literalists would be willing to lay their lives – and eternal souls – on the line in order to engage in acts of terrorism?

Jihawg Ammo’s company slogan is “Peace through Pork.” They sell their specially treated ammunition for defensive purposes only. While some will choose to be offended by the entire concept of Jihawg Ammo’s haraam ammunition, the makers of Jihawg counter that threatening a murderer with eternal damnation is not a new concept.

They reiterate that their ammunition is intended as a deterrent to would-be terrorists, not a threat or insult to peaceful Muslims.

Readers of this column are in the unique position of being among the first to learn of this new, pork-painted ammunition, and as such, have the opportunity to be thought-leaders on the social merits of the product. As a broader audience begins to learn about Jihawg Ammo, there will undoubtedly be much debate of the “cultural insensitivity” of the product and its makers. In anticipation of that debate, the folks at Jihawg ask how culturally insensitive it is to slaughter innocents in the name of one’s religion?

Jihawg Ammo’s full line of terrorist-deterrent ammunition, and their accompanying line of apparel and accessories, featuring slogans like “Pigs Do Fly,” and “Do 72 Virgins a Favor,” are available at, http://www.jihawg.com/, and should soon be available at select retailers around the country.



One Response to “Muslims Denounce New Bacon-Infused Ammunition But Still Support Sharia Beheadings”

  1. captain america

    Mar 22nd, 2014

    …by donating her DNA Debbie Washerwoman Schultz is finally showing her self to be a true american!

    As for the Brits: there are so few cops authorized to use weapons, and they’re not even allowed to practice…what do you expect…besides those
    weapons they used only worked once…aganist Napolean!

Leave a Reply