Bank of America Cancels Free Dog Biscuits for Canine Clients; GOLDEN RETRIEVER Files Class Action suit!

by on 10/06/15 at 8:20 pm

"I wasn't hungry anyway...."

“I wasn’t hungry anyway….”

Boston, MA – (satireworld.com)

A Golden Retriever,as a “matter of Principle” was forced to file a law suit in Federal court after a BOA branch canceled their policy of handing out doggy treats during transactions at their drive thru window.

Speaking thru an interpreter, Scamp, a 3 year old Golden said he was “shocked and confused” after 15 years as a customer,the bank suddenly shut down the tasty practice.

“I mean,WTf,it’s not like they’re paying me any interest on my savings account, or gave me a break on my home equity loan not to mention the bath we took on the Merrill Lynch and Country Wide Financial Scam…I’ll be long gone before they can make up for THAT!

Scamp said he was told by a BOA spokesman that the policy was found to be in violation of the SEC, Liz Warren”s consumer protection agency,and Dodd Frank banking regulations regarding free gifts to canines without a social security number, plus it cost the bank money!

“Every dollar we waste on a pet is one less dollar we can use to fund sub prime car loans, additional translators, and promotional ads on spanish speaking media outlets,” he was allegedly told.’It’s not personal,it’s just business,” said the spokesperson, who incidentally looked like a Bassett Hound according to Scamp who spent the rest of the day sulking and licking his imaginary balls.

Concerning Warren,Scamp growled,”I wouldn’t piss on her if her pants suit was on fire!!”



One Response to “Bank of America Cancels Free Dog Biscuits for Canine Clients; GOLDEN RETRIEVER Files Class Action suit!”

  1. Captain america

    Jul 14th, 2015

    Bofa manager expands of austerity policy: saying budget cuts affected
    even tgoilet paper for tellers! In addition, it was explained, toddlers will have to do with out after an indepen∂ent audit by Liz Warren revealed the bank spend $3 Milllion (!) on Lollipops last year inpacting end of year bonus for execs!

    BITE ME!
    Scamp

Leave a Reply