by Oleg Penkovsky on 20/05/16 at 7:46 am
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia – (Satireworld.com)
Sharia Law is to be consigned to the dumpster according to a Kingdom Oil Ministry spokesperson spearheading an unprecedented charm offensive that’s batting its eyelashes at US Big Oil’s $900 billion cash stash.
That’s the price of the world’s biggest ever fire sale as the House of Saud begins flogging the family silver starting with trillion dollars-worth of petrochemical asses – uh, assets! – in the shape of Aramco, the nation’s Big Driller.
Billions of barrels of oil are likely to be at snake.
The $$$ deal also heralds the abolition of centuries of crude desert-style** justice where stonings, floggings and amputations for the crime of adultery are viewed by many Saudis as appropriate recompense for extramarital infidelity.
Especially now that such footage can be posted in intimate videos on the ever popular SaudiCamelToze.con cheaters website.
Commenting on the extraordinary fire sale of Saudi state oil fields Our-Man-Behind-The-Dish-Dasha said, “Better to marry than burn you stupid infidel.”
Chevron’s John Watson and Exxon’s Rex Tillerson are both happily married, so no crude cracks about insider knowledge.
A barrel of West Texas Sweet Oil sells at around $47.