by Jon Worthington on 22/08/16 at 4:09 pm
Beeville, PA – (satireworld.com)
Hillary Clinton has lost her first major sponsor when Speedo USA announced it is dropping the career politician over speculation that an October Surprise email leak will surely wreck any chances of a Clinton Presidential victory in November.
As part of the decision, Speedo USA said Monday it will donate $50,000,000 of the Clinton’s Foundation election fee to recovering news watchers who claim one year plus of Hillary Clinton coverage gave given them a recurrent case of the vapors.
Speedo says that while it had “a winning relationship with Hillary for over a decade and she has been an important member of the Speedo team,” it could not condone her email server behavior after the recent FBI revelations and of the feared October Surprise that many on the left fear is coming.
Sources close to the parent company of Speedo say the real reason is Hillary’s apparent hesitation in wearing the company’s products while vacationing in Martha’s Vineyard last week. The overt repudiation of the company’s mainstream swimwear has cast doubts on the winability of the Clinton candidacy.