Harvard Study Shows Mainstream Media Caters To Low IQ Liberals

by on 08/07/17 at 10:12 am

NBC reporter Lester Krebs (r), and CNN's Morning Joe's news director, review the morning headlines about a UFO landing on the White House lawn.

NBC reporter Lester Krebs (r), and CNN Morning Joe’s news director Hal Tibbs, review the morning headlines about a UFO landing on the White House lawn.

The 'Fake News' tip off for most sensible Americans was when CNN ran a story about supposed Republican efforts to set up 'ugly children collection points' in key Democratic districts.

The ‘Fake News’ tip off for most sensible Americans was when CNN ran a story about supposed Republican efforts to set up ‘ugly children collection points’ in key Democratic districts.

In order to shift attention from the  positive reviews of President Trump's  speech in Poland, CNN ran a story about Italy's Leaning Tower  of Pisa falling and killing scores of  North African immigrants in a refugee camp located near the once-famous landmark.

In order to shift attention from the positive reviews of President Trump’s speech in Poland, CNN ran a story about Italy’s Leaning Tower of Pisa falling and killing scores of North African immigrants in a refugee camp located near the once-famous landmark.

Boston, MA – (satireworld.com)

Researchers at the prestigious Harvard School of Media Affairs published a jaw-dropping study showing proof-positive results on what makes a person’s mind think in liberal political terms and the influence of ‘Fake News’ from sources like ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, MSNBC, Time Magazine, and of course, the Wall Street Journal .

After an exhausting 10 year study, over 5,000 local Bostonians and university students were given mainstream media (MSM) evaluation tests, In all cases DNA samples were taken in an effort to disprove several current theories. The opposite results startled researchers including Dr. Adam Feidler who wrote a 4,500 page peer reviewed paper on liberal thought patterns and its effect on the brain after viewing MSM on television and in print articles.

According to Feidler, the word ‘libtard’ is now considered appropriate to use in describing a person with liberal-based thoughts tainted by the new ‘fake news’ as most researchers are labeling the Mainstream media. Dr. Feidler claims ‘since over 88% of all subjects tested who considered themselves liberal tested positive for the B5634 gene which points to an irreversible and acute mental retardation process that effects the cerebellum regions of the brain.’

The cerebellum is long thought to have the human thought and personality process which determines a person’s personality.

The report, and subsequent published paper, has shook up bastions of liberals in places far from Washington, DC where a contingent of high profile politicians have vowed to have the gene therapy in order to win re-election in 2018. Congressional leaders Chuck Shumer, Barbara Boxer, and Nancy Pelosi appealed to other like-minded Congressional leaders to sign a pledge to rid themselves of what they referred to as a ‘treatable disease.’

In Hollywood, the Movie Review Board has vowed to only approve Liberal-free movies in the future. All producers, directors, and actors will have to be certified as ‘liberal-free’ in a process similar to being certified Halal or Kosher. DNA tests are almost certain to be a part of any casting directors due diligence in upcoming Hollywood movies.

In NSM bastions like Seattle, San Francisco, and New York life-long liberals have begun the process of moving to Vancouver Canada in an effort to find a refuge where like thinkers can share stories and give comfort for those contemplating the gene therapy which many consider not only expensive, but painful due to the lobotomy-like use of 1,600 volt electric shock coupled with a long heated needle.

The Affordable Care Act does not cover the procedure, now simply referred to as ‘Democrat Palsy.’

There is a sunny-side to the story because the public need has caused an economic windfall for some business. The national Business Federation claims it has opened a new revenue stream for retailers like Wal-Mart which have thousands of locations and a well respected auto service center that can perform the procedure in under 15 minutes and just charge $19.95.

WalMart employee ‘Thud’ Morgan, who supervises a service center in Memphis, says, “Many people are getting their tires rotated and an oil change while received the Democractic Palsy reversal process. Sometimes we even sell some wiper blades and an air freshener!”

An at home kit from Ronco is on the horizon in 2019 once FDA approval is given.



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