Archive for 'Business'

Ben & Jerry’s Founders Creating Democrat-Inspired Ice Cream Flavors to ‘Take Back Congress’

Concord, NH – (satireworld.com) The duo behind Ben & Jerry’s ice cream is hoping to “take back Congress” by creating Democrat-inspired flavors. Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield are teaming up with social justice organization MoveOn to create a contest to support seven progressive candidates ahead of the midterm elections.

Full Story

2019 Dancing With The Stars To Feature All Plus Size Contestants

Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com) Network officials and show producers have announced that the 2019 season of “Dancing With The Stars” will feature nothing but “big” contestants.  The “big,” however, is not what you would normally thing of as “big Hollywood stars.”  All of next year’s contestants will be plus sized.

Full Story

Pedophile Jared Fogle Becomes Singer/Songwriter in Prison

Safford, AZ- (satireworld.com) The Federal Bureau of Prisons has released information that Jared Fogle, former Subway spokesman, has written and recorded several songs while serving in prison.  Fogle is currently incarcerated in Safford, Arizona and is serving a sentence for having child pornography and for engaging in illicit sexual contact with underage women.

Full Story

After Banning Straws, California Democrats Seek To Outlaw Coffee Stirrers

San Francisco, CA – (satireworld.com) After successfully managing to ban straws in California in all restaurants and stores, the state’s Democrats are no seeking to ban coffee stirrers.  Party spokesman Buff Limpnoodle addressed the intended actions in a press conference outside of a San Francisco Starbucks.

Full Story

Satire World’s….WORD OF THE DAY

Satire World is pleased to present our ‘Word of the Day’ in a salute to all grammar teachers around the country. ….Please welcome Buckwheat. Buckwheat’s hilarious use of the English language and his famous word pronunciation has titillated generations. We all remember ‘O’Tay’. Today Buckwheat will use a word we supplied in a sentence…The word […]

Full Story

Game Host Vanna White Resigns From Wheel of Fortune After 35 Years

Wheel of Fortune – (satireworld.com) After 35 years Vanna White has called it quits at Wheel of Fortune, one of TV’s most popular shows. The resignation caused a furor after it was discovered that the show’s computer system was hacked by Russians.

Full Story

Snoop Dog and Martha Stewart…”I Make His Fo Schizzle Sizzle”

The Cooking Channel – (satireworld.com) As crazy as it seems, cooking and love of food has caused one of the strangest hook-ups in the history of celebrity relationships….Cooking and lifestyle guru Martha Stewart meets street wise pot smoking Snoop Dog!

Full Story

SatireWorld’s Douchebag of the Week…..Gov. Andrew Cuomo

Albany, NY – SatireWorld’s staff of writers has voted New York Governor Andrew Cuomo as it’s headliner…Douchebag-of-the-Week.

Full Story

Happenings This Week in Tehran Iran

Tehran Iran: IRNA the Iranian News Service has announced that The Islamic Republic of Iran has adopted a more outwardly warm and fuzzy attitude to attract western and eastern nations to do business and attract tourists to come to Iran. “Death to America” and “Death to Israel” shouted in the presence of foreign tourists will […]

Full Story

Mickey Mouse to Run for President in 2020

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Former President Barack Obama met secretly with at least nine prospective 2020 Democratic presidential candidates, including Socialist Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT), Senator Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren (D-MA), former VP Joe “Shotgun” Biden (D-DE) and former Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick. At least 15 big donor Hollywood stars were turned away!

Full Story

You Can Keep Your Plastic Straws If You Like!

Polar Bear Alaska: MacDougal’s Fast Fish Cafe shareholders have rejected a proposal asking the firm to report on its use of plastic straws. This is the latest part of a campaign backed by the self-appointed activist group Environmental Wackos of California (EWOC) pressuring the firm to ban certain food packaging items. The idea won less […]

Full Story

‘I Was Just The Poor Door Janitor’ Beleaguered Attorney Tells New York Bar Council

New York City, NY – (SatireWorld.com) A former Obama-Spitzer-Weiner-Schneiderman LLP partner was ‘no more than a front-of-house enforcer’ for Big Roil lawfare bosses a professional standards council heard today.

Full Story

USPS- Barack Obama Era Commemorative Stamp Now On Sale

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) The United States Postal Service announced today that the long overdue commemorative stamp issue celebrating the two-term presidency of Barack Obama are now on sale at most USPS locations.

Full Story

Satire World Voted World’s Number One Satire Site

New York,NY – (satireworld.com) The staff and writers over at Satire World are living it up with the announcement of substantial bonuses and a hard sought after international award. According staff writer Oleg Penkovsky, “yes it has been a whirlwind week of surprises from management and very appreciated accolades from satire writing peers from around […]

Full Story

The Taste of Hillary

Chappaqua NY – (satireworld.com) Former Democratic Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton left the USA for a 10 country, publisher paid trip to plug her new book “What Happened.” The book is about her 2016 presidential aspirations (she lost to Republican Donald Trump) is not doing well domestically. So, Hillary opted to quietly take her book tour […]

Full Story

Tinker Traitor Soldya Trump?

Chernobyl, Ukraine – (SatireWorld.com): A new book about international espionage names Don T Rump as America’s leading Mafia don, describing him ‘a global tentacle-reach close second’ to top KGB matriarch Queen Elizardbirth Vagina.

Full Story

Blountstown Florida Gold Rush Prompts Fort Knox Vault Expansion

Fort Knox, Kentucky – (satireworld.com) Officials at the US Depository, better known as Fort Knox, have found the need for adding more secure storage room at the 80 year old facility built to store the nation’s gold during the Roosevelt era when private gold ownership was outlawed. Located in rural Kentucky the official US Gold […]

Full Story

DNC Requests Proposals for a Monument to Honor Obama’s Presidency

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) The Democratic National Committee (DNC) chaired by Tom Perez has sent out a Request for Proposals (RFP) to all 50 states to bid on constructing a suitable monument to the 44th POTUS, Barack Obama. The selected monument must be “shovel ready!” This measure was necessary because the federal government has refused […]

Full Story

Popular Salad Dressing Dramatically Changes Spokane Man’s Life

Spokane, WA – (SatireWorld.com) It started out as a simple picnic in Twin Falls Park when Anthony ‘Rocco’ Pietro felt different than when he first arrived at the picnic area. That’s what lawyers are saying in a recent lawsuit filed against Krafty Foods where they claim Krafty’s Zesty Italian Salad Dressing made their client into […]

Full Story

Dangerous Felons Escape from San Quentin State Prison

San Quentin CA – (satireworld.com) In a large jail break, dangerous felons have escaped from San Quentin State Prison for men, following a week of continuous rioting. A series of new California laws passed by the California Legislature and signed by Democratic Governor Jerry Brown (D-CA) that went into effect on January 1, 2018 is […]

Full Story

London Jewel Heist Cops Probe Royal Engagement Bling

London – (SatireWorld.com) – Police on the trail of £30 millionsworth of jewelry from the Hatton Garden heist have issued artist’s impressions of several engagement sparklers suspected of being fenced into eager royal hands.

Full Story

Punxsutawney Phil to Retire Before Groundhog Day 2018

Punxsutawney PA: Punxsutawney Phil is a fabled groundhog living in Punxsutawney PA. On February 2 (USA Groundhog Day) each year, the town of Punxsutawney celebrates this legendary groundhog with a festive atmosphere of music, food and drink. During the traditional ceremony, which begins before the winter sunrise, Phil emerges from his temporary home on Gobbler’s […]

Full Story

Democrats Who Say They’ll Return Their Tax Cuts To US Treasury – ZERO!

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Hypocrites unite! Join the Democratic Party and be with friends like Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Schumer the Tumor, or Nancy Pelosi!

Full Story

Judge Denies Petition to Free Zoo Elephants

Torrington CT – (satireworld.com) A Judge has denied a petition seeking to free three elephants from the Commerford Zoo located in Goshen, rejecting the argument that the animals should be granted legal person-hood.

Full Story

DNC to Introduce the Almost All-New 2018 Pelosi

Detroit MI- (satireworld.com) Democratic National Cars (DNC) announced their new line-up of blue automobiles for 2018, commencing with the re-engineered 2018 Pelosi to be manufactured in the USA.

Full Story

Hillary Clinton Takes a Polygraph Test

Washington DC-(satireworld.com) Former Democratic National Committee (DNC) Chair Donna Brazile has released excepts from her forthcoming book entitled “Hacks.” Donna exposed the sins of Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party hierarchy during the 2016 Presidential election cycle.

Full Story

Report: Nancy Pelosi Themed Sex Robot Fails To Wow Consumers

Silicone Valley, California – (satireworld.com) Sex robot technology has become increasingly popular this year after Barcelona introduced the world’s first ever sex robot brothel, Lumidolls. So while the cyborgs continue to rise and shock the world, US porn star Hunny Bunch sheds her light on what she worries could happen next.

Full Story

Lost Fan Viewership Sparks On Field Rule Changes In NFL Boardroom

New York, NY – (satireworld.com) The ratings for NFL “Thursday Night Football” continued to drop again this week, scoring a 9.9/17 in metered market results on CBS and the NFL Network, according to Deadline Friday. Weeks of fan turn-off sparked by inappropriate protests during the national anthem have affected team revenues and further blackened the […]

Full Story

Commentary: These Cultural Appropriation Moms Vote!

Moms are freaking out that ‘Moana’ costume is ‘cultural appropriation’ By Jane Ridley, NY Post, October 16, 2017 | 4:51 pm | Updated The scariest thing this Halloween for New York moms isn’t zombies or ghouls — it’s politically incorrect costumes.

Full Story

Want Gun Control? Careful What You Wish For!

SatireWorld.com How’s About Some Gun Control…………. Sure, lets enact a true “Law on Firearms and Ammunition.” This law will require anyone who owns a firearm, or who wants to own a firearm in the future, to register their intentions with our Federal authorities and apply for a simple permit and a universal Firearm ID card.

Full Story