Archive for 'Business'

A Satire World Editorial: Socialism Rears Its Ugly Head in New Mexico Again

Note:  The following is the text of a letter I received yesterday.  It appears that the left is trying to push their agenda on New Mexico again, even though it was rejected last year. This is not satire, though I wish it was.  It is Totalitarian Socialism rearing its ugly head to control our lives.  […]

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Blame Assigned for National Internet Outage

Chicago, IL – (satireworld.com) The national internet outage that affected several carriers/providers for internet and cell phone service has been blamed on several factors:

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Don’t Forget Your Happy Kwanzaa Gifts

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Congresswoman Maxine Waters went on the airwaves today praising the celebration of Kwanzaa and wishing celebrants a ‘happy and healthy’ Kwanzaa. I’m not sure, but the last time I looked at my Kwanzaa it was looking pretty healthy. So, really, what’s with this Kwanzaa thing anyway?

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Michelle Obama to Sue Satireworld LLC for Intellectual Property Defamation

Washington DC – (satitreworld.com) Former Democratic First Lady of the United States (FLOTUS) Michelle Obama (2009-2017) is on a book tour shilling her new memoir titled “Becoming.”  Michelle is to visit 10 US cities along the tour, kicking off in her hometown of Chicago IL, The tour begins the day of the book’s release followed […]

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Kleenex To Release Special Facial Product For Democrats: “Pity Me Tissues”

Scotch Plains, NY – (satireworld.com) Kleenex, a division of Kimberly-Clark, has announced that they are releasing a new line of their popular facial tissues made specially for Democrats to use when crying over losing elections, seeing a robust economy, paying lower gas prices, and other events that may go against their programmed agenda.  Called “Pity […]

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Democrats Organize Caravans of Inner City Asylum Seekers

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) Socialist Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT) appears to have placed part of the blame for Democrat Andrew Gillum’s (Florida Governor’s election) loss and Democrat Stacey Abrams’ (Georgia Governor’s election) loss on the fact that neither state has ever elected an African-American governor. The Vermont Senator hastily backtracked his not well-thought-out statement soon after!

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Obama Enters the Mommy’s Basement Home Furniture Business

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Republican President Donald Trump has improved the US economy and increased the number of jobs available to all US workers substantially, in the first two years of his presidency. Notably more Millennials and Gen-Xers are leaving Mommy’s Basement, as they now have jobs to pay for renting an apartment, a house […]

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Honduras Caravan Members Sue Trump Administration Because “We Weren’t Allowed to Participate in the Black Friday Sales”

Tijuana, Mexico – (satireworld.com) The Honduras Caravan members have sued the President and the Trump Administration because their being refused an illegal entry into the United States prevented them from being able to participate in the 2018 Black Friday sales.  They were also limited in buying at Small Business Saturday sales (though they could buy […]

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Global Warming Alert! Forest Fires and Cooling Vaginas Threaten Global Peace

Sacramento, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Esteemed scientist and 2008 Nobel Science Award recipient, Dr.Calvin Butterworth, issued a startling warning to people everywhere concerning disturbing events he has recorded over the past year…”Global warming and related events could threaten our species! Dr. Butterworth also raised the alarm that, in his words, “Women and their vaginas around the […]

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Hawaiian Restaurant Offers Free Lay With Every Dessert

Boing, HI – (satireworld.com) A typo is causing major problems for a Honolulu restaurant.  Keola’s Roast Pig is having problems honoring their offer of “a free lay with every dessert” as it was supposed to “a free leia (or lei) with every dessert.”  Restaurant owner Keola Paccuci is blaming the error on spellcheck, which does […]

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Senator Chuck Revealed to be Owner of Schumer’s Bloomers

Brooklyn, NY – (satireworld.com) The source of the Schumer family fortune has been found with the discovery that New York Democratic Senator Charles Ellis “Chuck” Schumer is secretly the owner of Schumer’s Bloomers, a woman’s lingerie store located throughout Western Europe.  Not only is the Senator the owner, but is also the President, founder, designer, […]

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Colorado Civil Rights Commission is Harassing Local Businesses Again

Denver CO – (satireworld.com) Jack Phillips, owner of the Masterpiece Cakeshop in suburban Denver, refused to make a wedding cake for a gay couple on religious grounds and was cited by the Colorado Civil Rights Commission (CCRC) for Gay discrimination. The Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) upheld Mr. Phillips refusal. He has now […]

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F.D.A. To Fund Study To Discover The Way The Cookie Crumbles

Palo Alto, CA – (satireworld.com) “That’s the way the cookie crumbles” is an expression that has been around since the 1920’s.  The exact origin of the phrase is unknown, but it is used as another way to say “that’s life.”  Researchers at Stanford University have received a three billion dollar grant from the Food and […]

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Ben & Jerry’s Founders Creating Democrat-Inspired Ice Cream Flavors to ‘Take Back Congress’

Concord, NH – (satireworld.com) The duo behind Ben & Jerry’s ice cream is hoping to “take back Congress” by creating Democrat-inspired flavors. Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield are teaming up with social justice organization MoveOn to create a contest to support seven progressive candidates ahead of the midterm elections.

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2019 Dancing With The Stars To Feature All Plus Size Contestants

Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com) Network officials and show producers have announced that the 2019 season of “Dancing With The Stars” will feature nothing but “big” contestants.  The “big,” however, is not what you would normally thing of as “big Hollywood stars.”  All of next year’s contestants will be plus sized.

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Pedophile Jared Fogle Becomes Singer/Songwriter in Prison

Safford, AZ- (satireworld.com) The Federal Bureau of Prisons has released information that Jared Fogle, former Subway spokesman, has written and recorded several songs while serving in prison.  Fogle is currently incarcerated in Safford, Arizona and is serving a sentence for having child pornography and for engaging in illicit sexual contact with underage women.

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After Banning Straws, California Democrats Seek To Outlaw Coffee Stirrers

San Francisco, CA – (satireworld.com) After successfully managing to ban straws in California in all restaurants and stores, the state’s Democrats are no seeking to ban coffee stirrers.  Party spokesman Buff Limpnoodle addressed the intended actions in a press conference outside of a San Francisco Starbucks.

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Satire World’s….WORD OF THE DAY

Satire World is pleased to present our ‘Word of the Day’ in a salute to all grammar teachers around the country. ….Please welcome Buckwheat. Buckwheat’s hilarious use of the English language and his famous word pronunciation has titillated generations. We all remember ‘O’Tay’. Today Buckwheat will use a word we supplied in a sentence…The word […]

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Game Host Vanna White Resigns From Wheel of Fortune After 35 Years

Wheel of Fortune – (satireworld.com) After 35 years Vanna White has called it quits at Wheel of Fortune, one of TV’s most popular shows. The resignation caused a furor after it was discovered that the show’s computer system was hacked by Russians.

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Snoop Dog and Martha Stewart…”I Make His Fo Schizzle Sizzle”

The Cooking Channel – (satireworld.com) As crazy as it seems, cooking and love of food has caused one of the strangest hook-ups in the history of celebrity relationships….Cooking and lifestyle guru Martha Stewart meets street wise pot smoking Snoop Dog!

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SatireWorld’s Douchebag of the Week…..Gov. Andrew Cuomo

Albany, NY – SatireWorld’s staff of writers has voted New York Governor Andrew Cuomo as it’s headliner…Douchebag-of-the-Week.

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Happenings This Week in Tehran Iran

Tehran Iran: IRNA the Iranian News Service has announced that The Islamic Republic of Iran has adopted a more outwardly warm and fuzzy attitude to attract western and eastern nations to do business and attract tourists to come to Iran. “Death to America” and “Death to Israel” shouted in the presence of foreign tourists will […]

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Mickey Mouse to Run for President in 2020

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Former President Barack Obama met secretly with at least nine prospective 2020 Democratic presidential candidates, including Socialist Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT), Senator Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren (D-MA), former VP Joe “Shotgun” Biden (D-DE) and former Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick. At least 15 big donor Hollywood stars were turned away!

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You Can Keep Your Plastic Straws If You Like!

Polar Bear Alaska: MacDougal’s Fast Fish Cafe shareholders have rejected a proposal asking the firm to report on its use of plastic straws. This is the latest part of a campaign backed by the self-appointed activist group Environmental Wackos of California (EWOC) pressuring the firm to ban certain food packaging items. The idea won less […]

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‘I Was Just The Poor Door Janitor’ Beleaguered Attorney Tells New York Bar Council

New York City, NY – (SatireWorld.com) A former Obama-Spitzer-Weiner-Schneiderman LLP partner was ‘no more than a front-of-house enforcer’ for Big Roil lawfare bosses a professional standards council heard today.

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USPS- Barack Obama Era Commemorative Stamp Now On Sale

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) The United States Postal Service announced today that the long overdue commemorative stamp issue celebrating the two-term presidency of Barack Obama are now on sale at most USPS locations.

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Satire World Voted World’s Number One Satire Site

New York,NY – (satireworld.com) The staff and writers over at Satire World are living it up with the announcement of substantial bonuses and a hard sought after international award. According staff writer Oleg Penkovsky, “yes it has been a whirlwind week of surprises from management and very appreciated accolades from satire writing peers from around […]

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The Taste of Hillary

Chappaqua NY – (satireworld.com) Former Democratic Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton left the USA for a 10 country, publisher paid trip to plug her new book “What Happened.” The book is about her 2016 presidential aspirations (she lost to Republican Donald Trump) is not doing well domestically. So, Hillary opted to quietly take her book tour […]

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Tinker Traitor Soldya Trump?

Chernobyl, Ukraine – (SatireWorld.com): A new book about international espionage names Don T Rump as America’s leading Mafia don, describing him ‘a global tentacle-reach close second’ to top KGB matriarch Queen Elizardbirth Vagina.

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Blountstown Florida Gold Rush Prompts Fort Knox Vault Expansion

Fort Knox, Kentucky – (satireworld.com) Officials at the US Depository, better known as Fort Knox, have found the need for adding more secure storage room at the 80 year old facility built to store the nation’s gold during the Roosevelt era when private gold ownership was outlawed. Located in rural Kentucky the official US Gold […]

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