Archive for 'Business'

Lost Fan Viewership Sparks On Field Rule Changes In NFL Boardroom

New York, NY – (satireworld.com) The ratings for NFL “Thursday Night Football” continued to drop again this week, scoring a 9.9/17 in metered market results on CBS and the NFL Network, according to Deadline Friday. Weeks of fan turn-off sparked by inappropriate protests during the national anthem have affected team revenues and further blackened the […]

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Commentary: These Cultural Appropriation Moms Vote!

Moms are freaking out that ‘Moana’ costume is ‘cultural appropriation’ By Jane Ridley, NY Post, October 16, 2017 | 4:51 pm | Updated The scariest thing this Halloween for New York moms isn’t zombies or ghouls — it’s politically incorrect costumes.

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Want Gun Control? Careful What You Wish For!

SatireWorld.com How’s About Some Gun Control…………. Sure, lets enact a true “Law on Firearms and Ammunition.” This law will require anyone who owns a firearm, or who wants to own a firearm in the future, to register their intentions with our Federal authorities and apply for a simple permit and a universal Firearm ID card.

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The USA Experiences a Toilet Paper Shortage?

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Senator Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren (D-MA) and Senator Bernie “Democratic Socialism” Sander’s (I-VT) are lobbying Congress to pass a single payer (US government) healthcare plan. President Trump and the Republicans in Congress are against this socialized medicine scheme, estimated to cost between $32 to $36 trillion over 10 years. The plan would […]

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Transgender Conversion Machine Patented

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) US Patent Number 93409353 was issued to Dr. Virginia Phallus for a Transgender Conversion Machine (TCM). Dr. Phallus has a Medical degree (specializing in Reproductive Systems) from Johns Hopkins University and both Electronics and Mechanical Engineering degrees from George Washington University.

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Harvey Weinstein’s ‘Casting Couch Productions’ Opens School For Public Perversion and Starlet Groping

Los Angeles, CA – (Satireworld.com) As part of the GLADD, NAMBLA, and unwanted sexual aggressiveness outreach program, the Harvey Weinstein’s ‘Casting Couch Productions’ School Of Public Perversion and Starlet Groping has received its first installment of a $2 million dollar grant from the California Department of Health and Human Services completing a decades-old search to […]

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Obituary: “Civil Rights” Dead at 77

London UK: [satireworld.com] “Civil Rights” passed away during a National Football League (NFL) sponsored American football game staged in this city between the Baltimore Ravens and the Jacksonville Jaguars. The cause of death, according to the London Coroners Office, was a massive heart attack over lack of respect when both teams took a knee during […]

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Church of Demonic Hillary Holds First Meeting

Chappaqua NY- (satireWorld.com) After losing the 2016 Presidential Election to Republican Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton announced her intentions to become a Clergyman, rather than a Nun. Hillary has established the Church of Demonic Hillary and intends to build a 20,000 seat Mega-Church building (federal tax free) on her property, funded by the new Bill and […]

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Pasadena Nixes Rose Bowl Marching Deal With North Korea Due To International Tensions

Pasadena, CA – (SatireWorld.com) Rose Bowl Parade officials sent an official notice to members of the elite North Korean Army’s women’s precision marching cadre that has angered North Korean strongman, Kim Sung Un. The letter gave official notice that due to recent international nuclear tensions, the participation of the 5,000 member all women North Korean […]

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Swiss Bank Vault Raid Yields Hundreds Of Nazi-Looted Artworks

Basel, Switzerland – (SatireWorld.com) Swiss police have executed an international search warrant at the headquarters of First Vatican Money-Laundering Bank Of Miracles following a tip-off from the FBI.

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Putin, Oreos, Capitalism and the West

Moscow – (satireworld.com) Vladimir Putin President of the Russian Federation seems to have a hard-on for the west, particularly the USA, when it comes to establishing better international relations. Republican President Donald Trump is trying to ease tensions in his first six months in office. However, former Democratic President Obama left the new administration several […]

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Virtual Reality eSEX the Latest in Internet Technology

Silicon Valley CA – (satireworld.com) Playboy Magazine has announced that the monthly publication (with the titillating centerfolds and intellectual articles) is bringing back pictures of nude women after a short hiatus. Once again marketing managers have proven the old adage “Sex Sells” is still true.

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Harvard Study Shows Mainstream Media Caters To Low IQ Liberals

Boston, MA – (satireworld.com) Researchers at the prestigious Harvard School of Media Affairs published a jaw-dropping study showing proof-positive results on what makes a person’s mind think in liberal political terms and the influence of ‘Fake News’ from sources like ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, MSNBC, Time Magazine, and of course, the Wall Street Journal .

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Free College Education and Jobs is the Latest Liberal Mantra

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) After their routing in the 2016 Presidential, Congressional and State wide elections progressive Democrats needed to find other ways to spend taxpayers hard earned dollars.

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Washington DC Metro to be Renamed Washington DC Obama

Washington DC- (SatireWorld.com) The Washington DC City Council has proposed renaming the Washington DC METRO the Washington DC OBAMA after the 44th president, who has derailed democracy in the USA for eight years. Currently the METRO suffers from mismanagement; plagued by breakdowns, failures, accidents and fires; loss of ridership; and fare increases. Long term maintenance […]

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Kanye Bids For Seat On ExxonMobil Board

Irving, Texas – (SatireWorld.com) Buoyed by his tete-a-tete with President-elect Donald Trump rapper Kanye West has put forward his credentials to bigwigs at ExxonMobil, confident an imminent appointment is in the bag.

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Crappy Crony Capitalism Exposed

Washington DC- (SatireWorld.com) While Crooked Hillary Clinton was Secretary of State (SOS) and also illegally involved in the Bill and Hillary Foundation money laundering scheme she was approached by Jonas Crappy. Mr. Crappy had an idea for a completely automatic, robotic commode, but needed funding. Hillary sent an urgent email, via her illegal home server, […]

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Declining Days of Obama’s Policies, Left on the National Mall

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Liberal Democrats are in denial, pretending that Crooked lying Hillary lost because of the Electoral College, Russian hacking of voting machines and then retaining out of touch Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) as House Minority Leader. However, Americans are celebrating Republican victories at all levels of government (local, state, federal) by rejoicing […]

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Baltimore City to Ban Fracking

Baltimore MD – (SatireWorld.com) The newly elected Democratic Baltimore Mayor and the City Council are considering a resolution banning Fracking (Hydraulic Fracturing) for natural gas extraction within the city limits. The aim of the new law is to improve the climate, decrease global warming and to improve the health of the city’s residents.

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Chelsea Clinton Wants to be a Politician like Her Mother Hillary

Chappaqua NY – (SatireWorld.com) Democrat Hillary Clinton lost to Republican Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election. (Republican’s also maintained their majority control of the US Congress.) Following her tantrum, hissy-fit and meltdown Hillary concluded that another corrupt, lying Clinton must continue the line of corruption that Bill and Hillary are famous for.

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Trump Election Protest Jumpers Frustrated Over Golden Gate Bridge Proposed Safety Measures

San Francisco, CA – (SatireWorld.com) The City by the Bay citizens and visitors seemed to be showing their election frustration as scores of potential suicidal bridge jumpers arrived at Golden Gate Park each looking for a place in a long line that lead up to the Golden Gate Bridge pedestrian walkway.

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Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream Supports BLM

Burlington VT – (SatireWorld.com) Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream Company has joined the Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement. The company posted a statement on its website signed by the founders that identify their positions on issues such as racism, civil rights/equal justice, police shootings of black Americans and that the lives of those people serving […]

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Federal Government Yard Sale, Everything Must Go

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) A Marxist couple named Obama currently renting an old White House along Pennsylvania Avenue have been told by the Real Estate Agent (Uncle Sam) that they must vacate the premises by Mid-January of next year. The property owners (American people) demand the current tenants leave in accordance with sections of a […]

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Obama Foundation Manhattan Base Outed

New York, NY – (SatireWorld.com) “No wonder Bill Clinton is pissed,” a concierge at the imposing Billionaires Row tower said this weekend, “now that his Arkansas Presidential Library rooftop poop (pool? – Ed) pipe-dream’s been trumped – by Obama’s new Foundation pad.”

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ObamaCare May be Dangerous to Your Health

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Reports have been simultaneously released by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) that indicate male condom materials may cause cancer in humans. A number of brands have been tested and only one has been found to contain asbestos.

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Shark Tank’s Mark Cuban…. Another Hillary Enabler Who Hasn’t A Clue

Dallas, TX – (satireworld.com) Monday night on “CNN Tonight,” supporter of Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, billionaire Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban, said Clinton did nothing wrong because the person who set up her email should have set up “filters and alerts that said any email that came with a classified header.”

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EU Hits Apple With Donziger-Style Racketeering Lawsuit

Brussels, Belgium, Arsehole Of The Universe – (SatireWorld.com) Not since Ecuadorian madman Rafael Correa tried pissing all over Chevron in a corrupt $19bn racketeering lawsuit comprehensively shot down by the US courts has an American corporation been targeted so cynically by shady foreign chancers gunning for a heist.

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Vegan Cannibals Reported in San Francisco

San Francisco CA – (satireworld.com) A town meeting was held with the San Francisco Board of Supervisors (SFBS) to discuss citizen complaints about coyotes living in the “City by the Bay,” eating small dogs and cats.

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Speedo Drops Hillary Clinton As First Sponsors Sense Looming November Defeat

Beeville, PA – (satireworld.com) Hillary Clinton has lost her first major sponsor when Speedo USA announced it is dropping the career politician over speculation that an October Surprise email leak will surely wreck any chances of a Clinton Presidential victory in November.

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Navy Names Newest Ship After LGBTQ Activist Harvey Milk

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) The Navy is naming a ship in honor of the late gay rights leader Harvey Milk, who served in the Navy for four years before he began a career in San Francisco city government. Milk is also remembered as a man who preyed upon young men. Some as young as 14 […]

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