Archive for 'Business'

Penelope the Slicer Still on the Loose in Los Angeles

Los Angeles CA – (satireworld.com) A bizarre series of 15 bloody penis slashings has occurred in the southern California City of the Angels over the course of the last month. The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) indicates they haven’t seen this kind of crime since Jack the Ripper’s crime spree of the slashing of five […]

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Now a Word From Our Sponsors……

If there’s one thing that will make a modern wife proud is the serious help she gets in purchasing a new labor saving device for the home.

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…Now A Word From Our Sponsors

Satireworld.com – Be the first on your block to grow your own penicillin! Why waste that moldy bread when it can be turned into a life saving wonder drug in just a few days!

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Trump’s Proposed Southern Border Wall Utilizes New Technology

Trenton NJ – (satireworld.com) Republican Presidential Nominee Donald Trump met at a cow farm in New Jersey with one of his many building contractors, Christi brothers Concrete and Building materials Inc. He was there to observe a breakthrough technology in wall construction that will allow cost effective, speedy wall construction across the US southern border. The […]

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Obama Really Gets into Everyone’s Pants this Time

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) President Obama has decided to again defy the Constitutional limits placed on his executive powers and released an unlawful directive stating that public schools must allow Transgender students to use the bathroom of their choice. Obama clearly overreached by redefining “sex” to include Transgender children in Title IX of the Education […]

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Decriminalization Of Adultery Ahead Of Upcoming Saudi Aramco Fire Sale

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia – (Satireworld.com) Sharia Law is to be consigned to the dumpster according to a Kingdom Oil Ministry spokesperson spearheading an unprecedented charm offensive that’s batting its eyelashes at US Big Oil’s $900 billion cash stash.

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Travel Agency Opens for the “Not Trump” Movement and Liberal Democrats

Burlington VT- (satireworld.com) The grand opening of “Bernie Sanders Travel Boutique” was held last weekend at this city located on beautiful Lake Champlain. Large crowds were not expected, nor did they show up as this business location is a boiler room operation that caters to: rich Hollywood stars living in Malibu CA; Democratic millionaires; former […]

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Realtors’ One-No-Trump Blinder As ‘Chateau Obama’ Contracts Exchanged

Washington DC – (Satireworld.com) The 10-bed, 20-bathroom, $30m Georgetown listing is in hush-hush contract according to back channels at Bulldozerbait & Teardown, realtors to DC’s elite.

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Well Respected New York Gynecologist Divorced by Wife of 10 Years

New York NY – (satireworld.com) The Law Firm of Wentworth and Brewster (W&B) have indicated that Alice Smith-Jones, a former Miss America, is suing Dr. Walter Jones, Park Avenue Gynecologist, for divorce after 10 years of marriage. The couple has six children ages nine to two years old. Dr Jones is known as the Gynecologist […]

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Ten Pork Producing States Sue the Obama Administration and Michelle Obama

Des Moines Iowa – (satireworld.com) The US Department of Agriculture (USDA) has sent notices of heavy fines being levied for inappropriate use of food funding in school districts of 10 pork producing states. USDA charges that federal government funds were spend on other food products than those items specified in First Lady Michelle Obama’s 2013 […]

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NYT Introduces Political Gossip Column

New York NY- (satireworld.com) The New York Times (NYT) faced with a declining readership had to find new ways to boost the paper’s circulation. There was a time when New Yorker’s read this paper while riding on the NYC Subway/ commuter trains or having a Danish pastry or a Bagel and a cup of coffee […]

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King Obama Warns Landlords About Not Renting to Criminals

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) It may be discriminatory for landlords to refuse to rent to people with criminal records according to King Obama, even though the Fair Housing Act doesn’t include criminals as a protected class. US Housing and Urban Development (HUD) is twisting facts via circular reasoning for the king to play the race […]

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Fat Chance Of US Presidency With Chris Christie As Veep

New Jersey – (Satireworld) Emergency liposuction compressors are on standby at Dumbthwacket, official residence of New Jersey’s Governor, amid rapidly spreading rumors the GOP heavyweight has been chosen as Donald T Rump’s running bait. Mate.

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Sanders and Schultz: “We’re moving the DNC to Toms River!”

Toms River, NJ – (satireworld.com) Debbie Wasserman Schulz and Bernie Sanders have decided to move the DNC to Toms River NJ to join the horde of Hasidic Jewish migrants fleeing from the terror of NYC and its anti semantic violence fostered by Jesse Jackson and his talk of Hymie town!

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Defamation Law Suit Filed Against the Federal Government and the Obama Administration

Washington DC: (satireworld.com) A Defamation and Libel civil lawsuit was filed on January 15, 2016 in DC Federal District Court against the Federal Government and specifically the Democratic Obama Administration. The plaintiff is known only as BAR, in order to keep his identity confidential to avoid recriminations.

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Obama Reverses Himself on Global Warming

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest indicated President Obama has reversed his position on global warming and now believes global cooling will begin in the year 2017 with spectacular decreases in the Earth’s temperatures to below freezing.

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Floyd Wankfiend Gets His Head Around Inscrutable Mandarin Tongue

New York City – (Satireworld) The last time he tried his lick (luck? -Ed) at Chinese Whispers some crinkly oriental ass-hairs got jammed between the molars, triggering a slimy tongue-and-cucumber-sandwich attack. The furtive maneuver eventually cost Goldbum Sux shareholders a cool $100bn as His Honor the Judge sided with the plaintiff before coming down hard […]

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Sexism Charged By Dean of Students at Washington Technical College

Fairbanks AK – (satireworld.com) Dean of Students Abigail Prude at the Washington Technical College (WTC) has cited the members of Omega Pi Omega (ΩπΩ) Fraternity with sexism towards female students. WTC specializes in mechanical design and construction related to oil pipelines, drilling, platforms and structures. The school presently has a student body consisting of 100 […]

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Bernie Saunders Denies Sexual Relationship With Connecticut Congresswoman Rosa DeLauro

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Rep. Rosa DeLauro (D-CT), wore her ‘Black Sabbath Best’ to the Bernie Saunders’ fundraising photo opportunity with other Democratic women of the House to highlight the historic diversity of the House Democratic Caucus in Congress and celebrate the increased number of women joining the Democratic Caucus.

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Attitude Adjustment For Former White House Residents

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) President Barack Obama met in the Oval Office with a representative from the Office of Personnel Management (OPM), a Mr. A Hamilton. The OPM representative introduced himself as the Attitude Adjustment Advisor (AAA) for the US government. When a federal employee leaves his current duty station a set of mandated AAA […]

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Satire Writer Becomes Famous and Wealthy After Shark Tank Episode

Baltimore, MD – (satireworld.com) Writing satire can be fulfilling but isn’t a way to achieve full financial independence in the long run….Just ask Philbert Macadamia. In fact, his wife did just that and that’s when he started on the road to financial freedom!

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When The Top 10 Most Miserable US Cities To Live In Are All Run By Democrats Why Vote For Bernie?

Detroit, MI – (satireworld.com) According to Forbes rankings, Detroit is the most miserable city in the United States. Home to violent crimes, high unemployment, decreasing population and economic crises, Detroit beat out Miami (last years winner) along with Flint-MI, Chicago-IL, and Modesto-CA. So, why would anyone want to vote for a an avowed socialist like […]

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HUD’s Determination of Who Lives Where

Washington DC _ (satireworld.com) The US Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) has come up with a new set of rules that allows changing local zoning laws. HUD’s bureaucrats in Washington DC will statistically determine when a given wealthy (white) residential area in the USA does not have an adequate diversity of African Americans […]

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US Navy Cancels Procurement of SSN 800 USS Barack Obama

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) The Under-Secretary of the US Navy for Procurement and Construction announced that SSN-800, which is currently an unnamed Virginia-class, nuclear powered attack submarine ordered on April 28, 2014 will be named USS Barack Obama. The building shipyard is to be Newport News Shipbuilding, Newport News Virginia. This nuclear attack boat is […]

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Obama Clocks Go On Sale Today

New York NY-(satireworld.com) General Original Products (GOP) Inc, headquartered in the Trump Towers in Manhattan, has announced that a limited addition of Obama Clocks is now available for sale to the American public.

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NYC Mayor’s New Regulations in Support of Obama’s Climate Change Agenda

New York, NY – (satireworld.com) New York City (NYC) Democratic Mayor Bill Duci Botseo has proposed three new regulations to be levied on New Yorkers in support of President Obama’s fight against climate change and global warming. These are:

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Democratic Store Promotes Bartenders Guide For The Holidays

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) People’s email junk folders are constantly full of Democratic Store ads promoting “I LOVE OBAMA” logo (superimposed on a donkey’s butt) sweatshirts in order to raise funds. When an order is placed for an “IMPEACH OBAMA” sweatshirt, there is never a response, fancy that for customer service!

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Christmas Gun Sales Soar As Obama’s Gun Control Warnings Fall Flat

Tallahassee, FL-(satireworld.com) After a series of brutal terror attacks here and home and abroad by ISIS, Americans are taking self-protection matters into their own hands as Obama’s rhetoric of more threatened gun control falls on deaf ears. As Florida resident Kerry Morgan put it……”He’s just a bluster of wind blown from a donkey’s butt about […]

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Formicophilia A Favorite Past-time Thrill With Current European Refugees

Berlin, Germany-(satireworld.com) Mohammed says he doesn’t miss Syria any longer, especially the daily threats of violence and a life filled with occasional chaos. Today, Mohammed gets up every morning and drives his new S-series Mercedes Benz to his custodial job at the Entomology Center at Nordic Peoples Pharmaceutical Company in suburban Berlin, where he cleans […]

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Illinois Pizzeria That Wouldn’t Cater Same Sex Weddings Sort of Reopens

Chicago IL- (satireworld.com) A suburban Illinois pizzeria, “Sam’s Terrific Pies,” that closed its doors after its owner said his religious beliefs wouldn’t allow him to cater a gay wedding, but any customer would be welcomed in the shop, was operating again to a full house of regulars and new customers.

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