Archive for 'Business'

King Obama Warns Landlords About Not Renting to Criminals

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) It may be discriminatory for landlords to refuse to rent to people with criminal records according to King Obama, even though the Fair Housing Act doesn’t include criminals as a protected class. US Housing and Urban Development (HUD) is twisting facts via circular reasoning for the king to play the race […]

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Fat Chance Of US Presidency With Chris Christie As Veep

New Jersey – (Satireworld) Emergency liposuction compressors are on standby at Dumbthwacket, official residence of New Jersey’s Governor, amid rapidly spreading rumors the GOP heavyweight has been chosen as Donald T Rump’s running bait. Mate.

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Sanders and Schultz: “We’re moving the DNC to Toms River!”

Toms River, NJ – (satireworld.com) Debbie Wasserman Schulz and Bernie Sanders have decided to move the DNC to Toms River NJ to join the horde of Hasidic Jewish migrants fleeing from the terror of NYC and its anti semantic violence fostered by Jesse Jackson and his talk of Hymie town!

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Defamation Law Suit Filed Against the Federal Government and the Obama Administration

Washington DC: (satireworld.com) A Defamation and Libel civil lawsuit was filed on January 15, 2016 in DC Federal District Court against the Federal Government and specifically the Democratic Obama Administration. The plaintiff is known only as BAR, in order to keep his identity confidential to avoid recriminations.

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Obama Reverses Himself on Global Warming

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest indicated President Obama has reversed his position on global warming and now believes global cooling will begin in the year 2017 with spectacular decreases in the Earth’s temperatures to below freezing.

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Floyd Wankfiend Gets His Head Around Inscrutable Mandarin Tongue

New York City – (Satireworld) The last time he tried his lick (luck? -Ed) at Chinese Whispers some crinkly oriental ass-hairs got jammed between the molars, triggering a slimy tongue-and-cucumber-sandwich attack. The furtive maneuver eventually cost Goldbum Sux shareholders a cool $100bn as His Honor the Judge sided with the plaintiff before coming down hard […]

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Sexism Charged By Dean of Students at Washington Technical College

Fairbanks AK – (satireworld.com) Dean of Students Abigail Prude at the Washington Technical College (WTC) has cited the members of Omega Pi Omega (ΩπΩ) Fraternity with sexism towards female students. WTC specializes in mechanical design and construction related to oil pipelines, drilling, platforms and structures. The school presently has a student body consisting of 100 […]

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Bernie Saunders Denies Sexual Relationship With Connecticut Congresswoman Rosa DeLauro

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Rep. Rosa DeLauro (D-CT), wore her ‘Black Sabbath Best’ to the Bernie Saunders’ fundraising photo opportunity with other Democratic women of the House to highlight the historic diversity of the House Democratic Caucus in Congress and celebrate the increased number of women joining the Democratic Caucus.

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Attitude Adjustment For Former White House Residents

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) President Barack Obama met in the Oval Office with a representative from the Office of Personnel Management (OPM), a Mr. A Hamilton. The OPM representative introduced himself as the Attitude Adjustment Advisor (AAA) for the US government. When a federal employee leaves his current duty station a set of mandated AAA […]

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Satire Writer Becomes Famous and Wealthy After Shark Tank Episode

Baltimore, MD – (satireworld.com) Writing satire can be fulfilling but isn’t a way to achieve full financial independence in the long run….Just ask Philbert Macadamia. In fact, his wife did just that and that’s when he started on the road to financial freedom!

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When The Top 10 Most Miserable US Cities To Live In Are All Run By Democrats Why Vote For Bernie?

Detroit, MI – (satireworld.com) According to Forbes rankings, Detroit is the most miserable city in the United States. Home to violent crimes, high unemployment, decreasing population and economic crises, Detroit beat out Miami (last years winner) along with Flint-MI, Chicago-IL, and Modesto-CA. So, why would anyone want to vote for a an avowed socialist like […]

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HUD’s Determination of Who Lives Where

Washington DC _ (satireworld.com) The US Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) has come up with a new set of rules that allows changing local zoning laws. HUD’s bureaucrats in Washington DC will statistically determine when a given wealthy (white) residential area in the USA does not have an adequate diversity of African Americans […]

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US Navy Cancels Procurement of SSN 800 USS Barack Obama

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) The Under-Secretary of the US Navy for Procurement and Construction announced that SSN-800, which is currently an unnamed Virginia-class, nuclear powered attack submarine ordered on April 28, 2014 will be named USS Barack Obama. The building shipyard is to be Newport News Shipbuilding, Newport News Virginia. This nuclear attack boat is […]

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Obama Clocks Go On Sale Today

New York NY-(satireworld.com) General Original Products (GOP) Inc, headquartered in the Trump Towers in Manhattan, has announced that a limited addition of Obama Clocks is now available for sale to the American public.

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NYC Mayor’s New Regulations in Support of Obama’s Climate Change Agenda

New York, NY – (satireworld.com) New York City (NYC) Democratic Mayor Bill Duci Botseo has proposed three new regulations to be levied on New Yorkers in support of President Obama’s fight against climate change and global warming. These are:

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Democratic Store Promotes Bartenders Guide For The Holidays

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) People’s email junk folders are constantly full of Democratic Store ads promoting “I LOVE OBAMA” logo (superimposed on a donkey’s butt) sweatshirts in order to raise funds. When an order is placed for an “IMPEACH OBAMA” sweatshirt, there is never a response, fancy that for customer service!

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Christmas Gun Sales Soar As Obama’s Gun Control Warnings Fall Flat

Tallahassee, FL-(satireworld.com) After a series of brutal terror attacks here and home and abroad by ISIS, Americans are taking self-protection matters into their own hands as Obama’s rhetoric of more threatened gun control falls on deaf ears. As Florida resident Kerry Morgan put it……”He’s just a bluster of wind blown from a donkey’s butt about […]

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Formicophilia A Favorite Past-time Thrill With Current European Refugees

Berlin, Germany-(satireworld.com) Mohammed says he doesn’t miss Syria any longer, especially the daily threats of violence and a life filled with occasional chaos. Today, Mohammed gets up every morning and drives his new S-series Mercedes Benz to his custodial job at the Entomology Center at Nordic Peoples Pharmaceutical Company in suburban Berlin, where he cleans […]

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Illinois Pizzeria That Wouldn’t Cater Same Sex Weddings Sort of Reopens

Chicago IL- (satireworld.com) A suburban Illinois pizzeria, “Sam’s Terrific Pies,” that closed its doors after its owner said his religious beliefs wouldn’t allow him to cater a gay wedding, but any customer would be welcomed in the shop, was operating again to a full house of regulars and new customers.

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New York City Wages War on Working Girls

New York NY – (satireworld.com) New York City (NYC) Democratic Mayor Bill de Blasio is continuing his crusade against the ills found in NYC: such as the horse drawn Hansom Cabs working around Central Park; the eating of too much salt by residents and visitors (warnings to be placed on restaurant menus); and now a […]

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Target Marketing The LGBT Community

Wall St. NY -(satireworld.com) Frito-Lay (a division of PepsiCo), the company that makes the snack food Doritos, unveiled Doritos Rainbows, a limited-edition version of its Cool Ranch-flavored tortilla chips that come in shades of green, blue, purple, red, and orange. The chip colors were inspired by colors of the Gay Pride flag.

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Transgender Change Machine Sweeps the Nation

San Francisco CA – (satireworld.com) The politically incorrect male and female engineers and scientists working in Silicon Valley have done it again with their new computer software controlled robotic Transgender Change Machine (TCM). The Prototype TCMs are undergoing Beta Testing in the “City by the Bay,” but thousands of TCM orders are pouring in from […]

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MSNBC TV Moves Al Sharpton to Sunday Mornings to do the Urban Reports

New York, NY – (satireword.com) NBC Universal the parent of the MSNBC cable-news network is moving Al Sharpton’s evening program “PoliticsNation” to a once per week Sunday morning spot. The new show will debut at 4:30 AM EST, beginning on October 4, 2015. TV pundits say Al has been moved to the back of TV […]

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Domino’s Pizza is Changing Its Name

Ann Arbor MI- (satireworld.com) A Food and Drug Administration (FDA) rule requires restaurants and food retail shops with over 20 locations, such as pizza delivery chains, to post in-store menu boards displaying nutritional information.

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FAA Proposes to Ban Commercial Use of Drones for Five Years

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) A spokesperson for the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) announced that all commercial drones will be banned for five years until the FAA can come up with a set of regulations and develop software to prevent crashes with commercial airliners. In the interim period, drones will be treated as radio controlled model […]

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Supreme Court to Hear Jones v Smith Same Sex Marriage Discrimination Case

Seattle WA – (satireworld,com) The Supreme Court during its upcoming fall 2015 term is to hear Jones v Smith, a same sex marriage discrimination case involving a wedding cake. The extraordinary circumstances of the case have warranted its hearing before the highest court in the USA. Lower court rulings have been split, some ruling for […]

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US Company Files Bankruptcy on 70th Atomic Bomb Anniversary

Wall Street, NY The Hiroshima Charcoal Briquette Company of Davenport, IA filed Chapter 11 papers early today in order to seek protection from creditors. Analysts cited a massive failure of the company’s two year old advertising plan in which five million dollars were spent on branding and not a single bag of the charcoal briquettes […]

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Trump Releases Renovation Plans For Post-Obama White House

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) One thing you can say about Donald Trump is that he’s a forward looking real estate planner! Today’s press release shores up that statement with an architects rending of the future Trump White House after The Donald’s builders complete a renovation to the 200 year old national landmark.

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Meat Found In McDonald’s Hamburger!

Peoria, IL – (satireworld.com) An Illinois couple says they got a huge surprise after a burger run to their local McDonald’s. Debbie and Hans Mirth ordered a double cheeseburger at the Golden Arches drive-thru. After returning home and unwrapping the meal, they discovered it contained real meat, Mirth told a reporter from local NBC affiliate […]

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Donald Trump Denies AFL-CIO Family Connection

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) Swirling rumors of Presidential candidate and business magnate Donald Trump’s secret Polish ancestry have surfaced in recent days tying the New York City icon to labor unions and the union’s leftist-based movement to socialize America.

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