Archive for 'Entertainment'

Kleenex To Release Special Facial Product For Democrats: “Pity Me Tissues”

Scotch Plains, NY – (satireworld.com) Kleenex, a division of Kimberly-Clark, has announced that they are releasing a new line of their popular facial tissues made specially for Democrats to use when crying over losing elections, seeing a robust economy, paying lower gas prices, and other events that may go against their programmed agenda.  Called “Pity […]

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Long Lost “A Christmas Carol” Remake Starring Worst Actors Ever Discovered in Storage Facility

Hollywood,CA – (satireworld.com) A 2005 potential box office fiasco/lost film has been discovered in Hollywood while cleaning out a storage room at Universal Pictures.  This movie, not released in theaters, may star the worst acting cast of all time.

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Verifying the Gender of Santa Claus (20th Anniversary)

North Pole – (satireworld.com) In November of 1998, I received a very disturbing e-mail. It had been forwarded several times, so there was no way to point to the original author or origin. I would like to quote that e-mail in it’s entirety, and then add my own comments: He’s a She “I hate to […]

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Blotter: Police Make First Arrests of Christmas Holiday Season

The Police Department (Christmas Division) have made their first arrest of the 2018 holiday season.  For public record, the arrests are listed below:

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Barrio Santa Claus Considers Painting His Low Rider Something Other Than “Arrest Me Red”

El Paso, Texas – (satireworld.com) Barrio Santa Claus, who visits his paisanos and his hermanitos every year on Christmas Eve to deliver gifts, has announced plans to paint his low rider something than the traditional “arrest me red.  “La Migra always tries to arrest me when I cross the border because my ride just stands […]

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Honduran Caravan Has Increased Ticket Sales To Famous Tijuana Donkey Shows Says Owner

Tijuana, Mexico – (satireworld.com) One result of having an influx of almost ten thousand visitors to a small Mexican border town is…What do you do at night after the international press corp has turned off its cameras and the lights dim low?

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Mick Jagger Announces ‘All The Girls I’ve Slept With’ US Tour Dates

New York, NY – (satireworld.com) The Rolling Stones are bringing their ‘All The Girls Mick Slept With’ tour to U.S. stadiums in 2019. The 13-show tour will kick off April 20th at the Hard Rock Stadium in Miami Gardens, Florida and wrap up June 21st at Soldier Field in Chicago.

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Neophyte Congresswoman-Elect Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Sends a Text Message

New York NY – (satireworld.com) Newly elected NYC Democratic-Socialist NITWIT Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has tried to send a Text Message to the new Democratic Speaker of the US House of Representatives, to be determined (TBD).

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National Fraternity Conference Chooses Least MILF-ish Celebrities

Palm Springs, CA- (satireworld.com) A conference in Palm Springs, California for Fraternity Presidents of all different Greek groups representing all NCAA Universities was held last week to “plan Spring Break.”  In addition to the obligatory toga parties, wet t-shirt contests, keggers, and other politically correct activities, the college and university students also voted on the […]

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Is Elizabeth Warren Featured In The Pocahontas Exhibit At The National Museum Of The American Indian?

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) The political world was further confused this week when Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) released the results of a controversial DNA test that was years in the making.

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Rosie O’Donnell Admits What She Did With Her Tuba “This One Time at Band Camp”

Fionna, NY – (satireworld.com) Former high school band member and tuba player Rosie O’Donnell admitted in casual conversation to others that she had a “sexual encounter” with her musical instrument while they were watching the 1999 teen comedy move “American Pie.”  In the movie, character Michelle says that “this one time, at band camp, I […]

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Classic Chuck Norris Film “Good Guys Wear Black” to have Politically Correct Remake

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com) 1978’s Chuck Norris action film “Good Guys Wear Black” will have a politically correct remake scheduled for release in two years as a holiday film.  The new movie, titled “Good Guys Wear Black Fishnet Stockings,” is scheduled to being filming next summer in San Francisco, California.

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Sexual Allegations Against “Slick Willie” Different Than Those Against Trump and Kavanaugh?

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) The 2008 and 2016 losing Democratic presidential candidate and corrupt Obama Administration Secretary of State (SOS) Hillary Clinton makes inventive remarks in a new interview with a noted CNN reporter! She defended her husband “Slick Willie” against the allegations of sexual misconduct that he has faced over the years.

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500+ at California Nude Beach Commit Self Mutilation

San Diego, CA – (satireworld.com) Over five hundred people at a San Diego Nude Beach cut, poked, gouged out, stabbed, and mutilated their eyes in multiple ways to purposefully lose their vision.  These acts of personal blinding are blamed on Senator Dianne Feinstein (one of California’s famed Trio of Terror) showing up and disrobing on […]

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SatireWorld’s ‘Dumbass Award’ Goes Too….

SatireWorld’s weekly Dumbass Award nominee has been selected and the grand prize awarded during a brief ceremony at Dunkin Donuts….

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Family Members Consider Having Rosie O’Donnell Fixed

Dingleberry Falls, Connecticut – (satireworld.com) Family members, who have all desired to remain anonymous, have admitted that they are considering having Rosie O’Donnell fixed.  “Rosie has been peeing on the furniture and gnawing on table legs and snapping at people, ” admitted one relative.  “She also feels the need to bend herself into weird positions […]

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Alyssa Milano Admits She Was Trying to Increase Her Fifteen Minutes of Fame

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com) Actress Alyssa Milano, who has not been really relevant since starring in Charmed and Who’s the Boss, tried to reinvent her fifteen minutes of fame last week by appearing nearly topless at the Brett Kavanaugh Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings.  Milano, who stated that she was there to support the female accuser […]

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Throckmorton P. Turdblossom; The Country Boy Advice Column

Poontang, AR – (satireworld.com) Howdy All Ya’ll! I’ve been gone for over three years now and guess that everybody figured I was dead or something (cuz I’m a really old fart). Well, the truth is even weirder than that.

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LGBTQ To Found Own Version of Cub Scouts Called Rump Rangers

Spokane, WA – (satireworldf.com) Following the tradition of youth groups such as the Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts, the Junior Birdmen, and the Campfire Girls, the national LGBTQ organization has announced that they will found their own version of the Cub Scouts and Brownies for both boys and girls.  The new group will be called […]

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Bargis Tryhol…”I Had Sex With Justice Elena Kagan at an Arby’s Parking lot”

Dooberville, GA – (satireworld.com) As an almost perfect ending to what’s being called ‘Witch Hunt Wednesday,’ SatireWorld editor Bargis Tryhol has gone on public record saying that he ‘slipped the eel to’ Justice Elena Kagan back in 1982 while getting a mocha shake at a local Arbys!

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Fans Mourn Death of Scooby-Doo at Funeral

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com) Forty year old Great Dane Scooby-Doo (exact date of birth unknown as he wasn’t registered) was laid to rest yesterday at a funeral at the Hollywood Park Cemetery; He was too big to be buried in a cardboard box in the backyard.  His grave is between the fire hydrant at the […]

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70’s Isis Star Claims She’s Not A Terrorist

Pittsburgh, PA – (satireworld.com) Joanna Cameron, star of the mid-1970’s Saturday morning television series Isis, claims that she is not in any way affiliated with the terrorist group ISIS (called ISIL by some Democrats to show support for and pander to Syria).  She says that “yes, my show is named after the Egyptian goddess and […]

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“Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong” Is New Iranian National Anthem

Tehran,Iran: Word from the Middle East today reports that the country of Iran has named a variation of the old Edsel’s doo-wop song as their new national anthem.  “Ram-a Lamb-a Ding Dong,” a modified version of “Rama Lama Ding Dong,” will now be the country’s official song and will be played at the Olympics (should […]

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2019 Dancing With The Stars To Feature All Plus Size Contestants

Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com) Network officials and show producers have announced that the 2019 season of “Dancing With The Stars” will feature nothing but “big” contestants.  The “big,” however, is not what you would normally thing of as “big Hollywood stars.”  All of next year’s contestants will be plus sized.

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Kim Kardashian Selected By Celebrity Panel as Least Talented Person in America

Hollywood,CA – (satireworld.com) Kim Kardiashian (a.k.a. Kim Kartrashian) was recently selected by a Hollywood celebrity panel as being the Least Talented Person in America.  This was the sixth straight win for Kim, breaking the previous record set by Paris Hilton.  The highest placed male in the contest was Ryan Seacrest, who came in second for […]

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Smokin’ Gun News: The Brit Bravery Gong That’s Driving Trump Psychotic

London – (SatireWorld.com) The citation ‘For Acts Of The Greatest Heroism + Conspicuous Courage In Circumstances of Extreme Danger’ perfectly defines Britain’s highest peacetime award.

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Remakes of Once Popular Television Shows To Be Updated Due To Political Correctness

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) There is talk of making the next James Bond into a black man.  The latest Battlestar Gallactica changed the gender of several characters (including Starbuck and Boomer).  The new Lost In Space remake has changed the race of one of the Robinson children, the gender of the doctor, and […]

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The First Man Controversy Explained; A SatireWorld Editorial

NASA – (satireworld.com) In the summer of 1969, The United States of America launched the Apollo 11 spaceflight.  It landed on the moon on July 20th and Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the moon the next day.  He was the followed by Buzz Aldrin.  Training for the mission was done in […]

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NASA Reports Woman’s Body Discovered on Earth’s Moon

Houston, TX – (SatireWorld.com) NASA Scientists released clarifying information, along with a hastily prepared Top Secret report, addressing the recent discovery of human remains spotted laying on the surface of the Earth’s moon. The desiccated figure, reportedly dressed in what appears to be a cotton print house dress and apron, was discovered by the Hubble […]

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White Woman Claims Watching 3-D Movie Made Her Pregnant With A Black Child

Fort Bragg, NC – (SatireWorld.com) A white American couple gave birth to black baby boy in August at the Army hospital located in the sprawling Fort Bragg complex. The very surprised woman later claimed to her OB-GYN that she had become pregnant while watching a 3-D porno movie in a public theater!

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