Archive for 'Politics'

The First Man Controversy Explained; A SatireWorld Editorial

NASA – (satireworld.com) In the summer of 1969, The United States of America launched the Apollo 11 spaceflight.  It landed on the moon on July 20th and Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the moon the next day.  He was the followed by Buzz Aldrin.  Training for the mission was done in […]

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Illinois Republican Congressional Candidates Admit to Campaigning in Cemeteries

Chicago, IL – (satireworld.com) All of the Republican candidates in the Chicago area have admitted that they are campaigning in the cities cemeteries for the 2018 midterm elections.  The famous Illinois cemetery vote, which has historically been 100% for the Democrats since the 1960 Presidential election (which gave the election to Kennedy over Nixon). 

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Nancy Pelosi Claims Trump Should Be Impeached Because “He Likes Big Titties”

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Democratic Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi of  the Fruitcake, California district, who is constantly looking everywhere to attempt to make President Donald Trump look bad, has now decided that he should be impeached because “he likes large breasted women.”

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After Banning Straws, California Democrats Seek To Outlaw Coffee Stirrers

San Francisco, CA – (satireworld.com) After successfully managing to ban straws in California in all restaurants and stores, the state’s Democrats are no seeking to ban coffee stirrers.  Party spokesman Buff Limpnoodle addressed the intended actions in a press conference outside of a San Francisco Starbucks.

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Exclusive: More Vatican Woes As Pope Goes To Mount Olive and Takes A hit By Popeye

Vatican City -(SatireWorld.com) In an effort to quell demands for his resignation from Vatican leaders, Pope Francis left Rome on Monday to travel to the US to visit shrines and diocese leaders. He hoped to stop at various religious landmarks he hadn't officially visited as Pope in previous US visits in an effort to shore […]

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FBI Fingers Hillary Clinton In Surprise Vagina Probe

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Senior FBI investigators named ex-presidential candidate Hillary Clinton as a credible source in an ongoing look at election claims which used television ad bites to promote the Democratic party’s stance on certain controversial issues and uttering supposedly false charges against other candidates.

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Chelsea Clinton: Abortions Have Helped US Economy

New York City, NY- (satireworld.com) NINCOMPOOP REPORT Chelsea Clinton praised the Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court decision of 1973 that legalized abortion on Saturday,then backtracked claiming abortion were available seven-days a week. Embarrassed by the gaffe, Clinton went on saying abortions helped add $3.5 trillion to the U.S. economy. Chelsea, the only child of Hillary […]

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The Four Democratic Jackasses of the Apocalypse

Washington DC: The prophesy of the four Democratic Jackasses of the Apocalypse is foretold in the last chapters of the Democratic National Committee (DNC) Book of Socialist Moron Politicians. The four Jackasses are symbols of the different events which will take place when the American people, in conjunction with the Republican Party, finally confront and […]

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International Diplomacy Latest: Canadian PM Trudeau ‘Named After Discredited Contraceptive Method’ Say Saudis

Ottawa, Canada -(SatireWorld.com) “Justin was conceived via the notorious Withdrawal Method of family planning,” Middle East geneticists claimed today amid an escalating Saudi-Canadian diplomatic spat, “that’s why he’s called Just-In, his Pa couldn’t get out in time.”

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Trump: ‘Hillary’s Health Issues Tied To Kick Starting Her Vibrator’

Des Moines, Iowa – (satireworld.com) At a Wednesday press conference in Iowa President Donald Trump addressed his concerns about his past opponent’s health and vitality and especially the reports she was wearing a medical alert device. He also questioned her ability to properly function without succumbing to bouts of pain in which she might require […]

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Biden/Holder-2020 Duck Boat Tour Targets US Swim States

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) Democratic Party presidential hopefuls Joe Biden and Eric Holder will be debuting the start of their 2020 campaign next week with a tour of crucial US sink-or-swim states.

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A San Francisco Resident Complains

San Francisco CA- A complaint has been received by the San Francisco Board of Supervisors from a long-time Democratic Congresswoman, resident in the “City by the Bay!” The issue is that people are leaving more than their hearts on the sidewalks and roadways of San Francisco!

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Hillary Now Blames 2016 Loss On Lack Of Male Heir

New York City, NY – Hillary Clinton excuse number 74 (we know you’ve been counting) as to why her 2016 presidential campaign imploded during voting and underdog Donald Trump won….The new excuse that has people’s heads churning even more in disbelief is…Her lack of a male heir.

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1500 Mile Appalachian Trail Paved Bike Path Gets EPA Thumbs Up

Washington, DC – Policy changes in national parks primitive area usage rested upon a pending decision by both the EPA and Interior Department over allowing full access to natural trail systems by handicapped and other physically limited users.

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Happenings This Week in Tehran Iran

Tehran Iran: IRNA the Iranian News Service has announced that The Islamic Republic of Iran has adopted a more outwardly warm and fuzzy attitude to attract western and eastern nations to do business and attract tourists to come to Iran. “Death to America” and “Death to Israel” shouted in the presence of foreign tourists will […]

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The California Golden State Oldies Sing Their Favorite Golden Oldies

San Francisco CA – (satireworld.com) Representative Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Representative “Mad” Maxine Waters (D-CA) jointly announced that they are going on a US tour in 2019 as a singing duet called “The California Golden State Oldies.”

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Congresswoman Maxine Waters Tied To Kidnapping Plot Says FBI

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) A spokesman for the FBI unveiled a plot against a Congresswoman today at a press conference in Los Angeles. The thwarted crime was supposedly formulated by Trump supporters said FBI field agent Henry Winnebago. The charges included to ‘kidnap and extort Administration critic California Congresswoman Maxine Waters, by using a trap-like […]

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Justice Kennedy Resignation On 30th Anniversary Of Diaper Changing Provision At SCOTUS Robing Rooms

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) The 1988 introduction of baby changing mats, breast pumps and comfy breastfeeding support chairs at the US Supreme Court judges’ locker rooms came as a surprise to incumbent Associate Justices as they welcomed new male jurist Anthony McLeod Kennedy to their ranks.

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Mickey Mouse to Run for President in 2020

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Former President Barack Obama met secretly with at least nine prospective 2020 Democratic presidential candidates, including Socialist Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT), Senator Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren (D-MA), former VP Joe “Shotgun” Biden (D-DE) and former Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick. At least 15 big donor Hollywood stars were turned away!

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Democrats Stage Surprise Visit to Juvenile Detainee Camp-Find It So Nice 3 Plan To Stay

Elizabeth, NJ – (satireworld.com) A group of Democratic lawmakers paid a surprise un-authorized visit to a immigrant detention facility in New Jersey on Father’s Day to speak with asylum-seekers who have been separated from their families under a new Trump administration policy.

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Hillary Receives the Prestigious EMF Award From the NAACP

Chappaqua NY- (satireworld.com) Former Democratic President Bill Clinton and failed 2016 Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton’s home is in the small Westchester County town of Chappaqua NY. The town, not far from New York City (NYC), demographically has 1400 residents of which 2.5% are Hispanic and there are zero African Americans.

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Howdy Doody Moody Rudy

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Presidential sock puppet Rudi Giuliani has been captured on CCTV pimping out a pile of steaming turds ‘like some sort of considered legal opinion’ an Oval Orifice janitor said today.

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Trump at White House Prison Summit…. Kim Kardashian Has A Really Fat Ass

The White House – (satireworld.com) After a much heralded meeting about prison reform Donald Trump had off hand remarks about Kim Kardashian’s large ass…Yes, you heard it here first!

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You Can Keep Your Plastic Straws If You Like!

Polar Bear Alaska: MacDougal’s Fast Fish Cafe shareholders have rejected a proposal asking the firm to report on its use of plastic straws. This is the latest part of a campaign backed by the self-appointed activist group Environmental Wackos of California (EWOC) pressuring the firm to ban certain food packaging items. The idea won less […]

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Parkland Survivor Spouts Hate For Veteran Gun Owners in Vulgar TV Speech

NY,NY – (satireworld.com) Parkland survivor and rabid gun control activist skin-headed Emma González lectured gun owners Thursday at an education forum. Gonzalez is known nationally as being a ‘bald-headed mean spirited dyke look-alike with an unusually foul demeanor on camera.’

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Democrats Call For Ban of Assault Lettuce

Emora, NM – (satireworld.com) Key leaders in the Democratic Party are calling for the ban of Romaine Lettuce (now called assault lettuce). According to figures from the CDC (Center for Disease Control), there have now been more than 150 reported cases of food borne illness reported in over 30 states due to Assault Lettuce. There […]

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USPS- Barack Obama Era Commemorative Stamp Now On Sale

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) The United States Postal Service announced today that the long overdue commemorative stamp issue celebrating the two-term presidency of Barack Obama are now on sale at most USPS locations.

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Police Report an Increase in “Mooned” CCTV Cameras

New York NY – (satireworld.com) Various transportation policing agencies use CCTV and “Facial Recognition SW” technology to monitor people’s faces at New York City (NYC) airports, railroad/commuter terminals and bus stations. The cameras supporting a facial recognition capability are located near ticket counters, boarding and luggage pick up areas, and schedule boards at transportation centers.

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Democrat Pelosi Supports the NRA

Washington DC: (satireworld.com) House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) tweeted to her constituents that she now wholeheartedly supports the NRA! ‘After a lot of soul searching and discussions with my US House leadership team of 1st “Horse Holder” Representative Steny Hoyer (D-MD) and 2nd “Horse Holder” Representative James Clyburn (D-SC) we have concluded it is […]

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Golden Sewers Attorney Pleads The Filth

NYC, NY – (SatireWorld.com): A New York attorney suspected of laundering dirty money who says he ‘never stepped a foot inside the bouncing Check Republic’ will play schtum before the law courts his lawyer said today.

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