Archive for 'Science & Tech'

Chelsea Clinton: Abortions Have Helped US Economy

New York City, NY- (satireworld.com) NINCOMPOOP REPORT Chelsea Clinton praised the Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court decision of 1973 that legalized abortion on Saturday,then backtracked claiming abortion were available seven-days a week. Embarrassed by the gaffe, Clinton went on saying abortions helped add $3.5 trillion to the U.S. economy. Chelsea, the only child of Hillary […]

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A San Francisco Resident Complains

San Francisco CA- A complaint has been received by the San Francisco Board of Supervisors from a long-time Democratic Congresswoman, resident in the “City by the Bay!” The issue is that people are leaving more than their hearts on the sidewalks and roadways of San Francisco!

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Happenings This Week in Tehran Iran

Tehran Iran: IRNA the Iranian News Service has announced that The Islamic Republic of Iran has adopted a more outwardly warm and fuzzy attitude to attract western and eastern nations to do business and attract tourists to come to Iran. “Death to America” and “Death to Israel” shouted in the presence of foreign tourists will […]

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You Can Keep Your Plastic Straws If You Like!

Polar Bear Alaska: MacDougal’s Fast Fish Cafe shareholders have rejected a proposal asking the firm to report on its use of plastic straws. This is the latest part of a campaign backed by the self-appointed activist group Environmental Wackos of California (EWOC) pressuring the firm to ban certain food packaging items. The idea won less […]

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Democrats Call For Ban of Assault Lettuce

Emora, NM – (satireworld.com) Key leaders in the Democratic Party are calling for the ban of Romaine Lettuce (now called assault lettuce). According to figures from the CDC (Center for Disease Control), there have now been more than 150 reported cases of food borne illness reported in over 30 states due to Assault Lettuce. There […]

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Police Report an Increase in “Mooned” CCTV Cameras

New York NY – (satireworld.com) Various transportation policing agencies use CCTV and “Facial Recognition SW” technology to monitor people’s faces at New York City (NYC) airports, railroad/commuter terminals and bus stations. The cameras supporting a facial recognition capability are located near ticket counters, boarding and luggage pick up areas, and schedule boards at transportation centers.

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Satire World’s ‘March for Life’ Photos of the Day

Satireworld.com Satire World’s pro-gun photo-of-the-day just for those George Seros inspired snowflakes so emotionally and continually offended by law abiding firearm owners having personal firearms in their possession…..Suck it up buttercup. My guns have more brains than you!

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Three Geopolitical Events Occurred this Week

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) Republican President Donald Trump had an interesting week in the Nation’s Capital including; consideration of new import tariffs, gun control proposals, DACA legislation proposals, Russian President Putin’s new nuclear missile, Maxine Waters calling President Trump a racist and North Korea’s leader Kim Jong Un inviting President Trump to come to the table […]

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Blountstown Florida Gold Rush Prompts Fort Knox Vault Expansion

Fort Knox, Kentucky – (satireworld.com) Officials at the US Depository, better known as Fort Knox, have found the need for adding more secure storage room at the 80 year old facility built to store the nation’s gold during the Roosevelt era when private gold ownership was outlawed. Located in rural Kentucky the official US Gold […]

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Sources of Greenhouse Gases Identified

Hawthorne CA – (satireworld.com) Space X CEO Elon Musk announced that the Falcon Heavy rocket was launched successfully on February 8, 2018 from the Kennedy Space Center in Florida. This giant vehicle boosted a payload of his cherry-red Tesla sports car, although it could easily boost up to 24 metric tons into an Earth orbit.

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Popular Salad Dressing Dramatically Changes Spokane Man’s Life

Spokane, WA – (SatireWorld.com) It started out as a simple picnic in Twin Falls Park when Anthony ‘Rocco’ Pietro felt different than when he first arrived at the picnic area. That’s what lawyers are saying in a recent lawsuit filed against Krafty Foods where they claim Krafty’s Zesty Italian Salad Dressing made their client into […]

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Camel Botox Hillary Readies For The Hump

New York City, New York – (SatireWorld.com) Two hundredweight of Botox impounded at a Saudi camel beauty pageant was redirected to Clinton Foundation orifices this morning ahead of its upcoming annual Valentines Day bash.

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FDA Approves Newly Developed Medication for Politicians

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) The US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has given conditional approval to a newly developed medication called “SHUTHOLE” to help politicians cure their Foot in Mouth Disease, Diarrhea of the Mouth, Fake News Generation and Habitual Lying. The FDA also has called for follow up field testing using control groups of […]

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Senator Bernie Sanders Infrastructure Plan Uncovered

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Socialist Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT) Infrastructure Plan has been leaked to the Main Stream Media. An astute freelance reporter named Phil broke the story prior to the legislation being introduced into the US House and senate.

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Judge Denies Petition to Free Zoo Elephants

Torrington CT – (satireworld.com) A Judge has denied a petition seeking to free three elephants from the Commerford Zoo located in Goshen, rejecting the argument that the animals should be granted legal person-hood.

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Al Gore: ‘Bitter cold’ is exactly what we should expect from the climate crisis

Dallas,TX- (satireworld.com) Gore’s Oscar-winning documentary An Inconvenient Truth did not warn of record cold and increasing snowfalls as a consequence of man-made global warming. And as recently as 2009, Gore was hyping the lack of snow as evidence for man-made global warming. Maybe Al Gore doesn’t know a thing about climate change after all and […]

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Satire World Celebrates Christmas With Its Own Greeting Card!

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM SATIRE WORLD!

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DNC to Introduce the Almost All-New 2018 Pelosi

Detroit MI- (satireworld.com) Democratic National Cars (DNC) announced their new line-up of blue automobiles for 2018, commencing with the re-engineered 2018 Pelosi to be manufactured in the USA.

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They Came from Outer Space

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Former Secretary of State (SOS) Hillary Clinton’s classified TOP SECRET emails sent/received from an illegal, unsecured email server in the basement of her home in Chappaqua NY have been in the news since 2014 (within President Obama’s second term)!

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Feds Admit Congressional Intelligence Breech Due To Alien UFO Link

NSA Headquarters, Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Agents at the NSA have finally broken an ultra secret code that thwarted the intelligence agency for almost 25 years. The suspected breach of national security was discovered during a review of a Congressional speech that was televised in 1985. The 45 minute speech was given by Congresswomen Nancy […]

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Scientists Reveal…Ice Berg That Sank The HMS Titanic In 1912 Has Finally Melted.

Re: The North Atlantic Sea Report Nova Scotia, Canada (satireworld.com) The iceberg that sank the Titanic was thought to be 100,000 years old, according to scientists who traced the origins of the once colossal lump of glacial ice. The ice berg was given a number (K-95432) and was tracked by NOAA since its discovery back […]

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Commentary: Mathematics and “White Privilege,” Another Liberal Excuse for Failing Black Education

Satire World writers couldn’t make this stuff up about dumbing down the US education system by blaming Mathematics and “White Privilege” for failing Black education. Eventually the USA would become a third world nation by eliminating mathematics from classroom curriculums! The Chinese and Japanese are very astute at mathematics. Anyone hear of Asian Privilege?   White […]

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Transgender Conversion Machine Patented

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) US Patent Number 93409353 was issued to Dr. Virginia Phallus for a Transgender Conversion Machine (TCM). Dr. Phallus has a Medical degree (specializing in Reproductive Systems) from Johns Hopkins University and both Electronics and Mechanical Engineering degrees from George Washington University.

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Monday’s Solar Eclipse ‘A Kick Up The Ass’ For America’s Anal Bleaching Profession

Los Angeles, California – (SatireWorld.com) Astrologers studying Monday’s upcoming solar eclipse are bullish about the impact on West Coast anal skin lightening facilities according to an authoritative op ed.

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South Pole Calderas Fool Global Warming Cabal

Antarctica – (SatireWorld.com) Climate Change hot air suffered yet another blow this weekend following the publication of the Western Antarctic Research Base report about volcanic eruptions under the Ross Ice Shelf.

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Swiss Bank Vault Raid Yields Hundreds Of Nazi-Looted Artworks

Basel, Switzerland – (SatireWorld.com) Swiss police have executed an international search warrant at the headquarters of First Vatican Money-Laundering Bank Of Miracles following a tip-off from the FBI.

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Virtual Reality eSEX the Latest in Internet Technology

Silicon Valley CA – (satireworld.com) Playboy Magazine has announced that the monthly publication (with the titillating centerfolds and intellectual articles) is bringing back pictures of nude women after a short hiatus. Once again marketing managers have proven the old adage “Sex Sells” is still true.

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Antarctica Ice Berg Breakoff Spells Climate Change For California

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) A massive iceberg which broke off from Antarctica’s Larsen Shelf today could spell disaster for Los Angeles if it floats too far north from the Antarctic continent.

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Free College Education and Jobs is the Latest Liberal Mantra

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) After their routing in the 2016 Presidential, Congressional and State wide elections progressive Democrats needed to find other ways to spend taxpayers hard earned dollars.

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Washington DC Metro to be Renamed Washington DC Obama

Washington DC- (SatireWorld.com) The Washington DC City Council has proposed renaming the Washington DC METRO the Washington DC OBAMA after the 44th president, who has derailed democracy in the USA for eight years. Currently the METRO suffers from mismanagement; plagued by breakdowns, failures, accidents and fires; loss of ridership; and fare increases. Long term maintenance […]

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