Archive for 'Science & Tech'

Anti-Rape Bra Shocks Assailants

Via Drudge Report Murali Krishnan Engineering students in New Delhi have developed a bra that shocks and burns potential attackers. It also has GPS Nearly two years ago, the gruesome gang rape and murder of a young woman on a bus in New Delhi left many Indians shocked and saddened. Tens of thousands took to […]

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There is no Intelligent Life Here

Star Date 2024.7.9, Captains Log:  The Star Ship U.S.S Texas commanded by Captain Rick Perry has been dispatched to the Obama System to evacuate any intelligent life existing on the 10 planets. The star Obama is expected to go Supernova. There have also been reports of illegal immigrants trying to sneak into the Obama system […]

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AARP Files New Unfair Labor Practices Complaint With The NLRB

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) A recent Supreme Court ruling stipulated that three members of the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) were unconstitutionally appointed by President Obama, as the Congress was not in recess. This ruling has given the American Association of Retired Prostitutes (AARP) a second chance to present their complaint to the NLRB.

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“Anal Seepage” Voted Least Favorite Thing To Discover In A Chair

Las Cruces, NM – (satireworld.com) In a poll conducted by The Harvard Institute of Silly Surveys That Waste Government Money But Provide Work For Tenured Professors, Lazy Students and ACORN Workers, Anal Seepage was voted “The Least Favorite Thing To Find In A Chair.”

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Southern Border Swamped With Sick Central American Refugees Ordered To ‘Head North’ For Free Treatment

US Southern Border – (satireworld.com) Central American political leaders have found an innovative process to rid their hospital and clinic wards of sick and dying patients who are too poor to pay. Honduran bus lines and Guatemalan freight truckers are transporting thousands of sick citizens northward to the US border and dumping them near he […]

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White House Quietly Intervenes in Transvaginal Mesh Lawsuits

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) The White House has asked US Attorney General Eric Holder and the Department of Justice (DOJ) lawyers to quickly and quietly settle all outstanding Transvaginal Mesh lawsuit cases.

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More News About Cell Phone Electromagnetic Radiation

Berkeley CA – (satireworld.com) A study conducted in the United Kingdom (UK) found that men who keep their cell phones in their pants pockets suffer from decreased sperm mobility. The researchers indicated the possible cause may be due to non-ionizing electromagnetic radiation (EMR).

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Tempers Flare at Environmental Town Meeting

Pizmo Beach Pennsyltucky – (satireworld.com) An emergency meeting of the Pizmo Beach Town Council was called by the Council President Philbert to discuss complaints about the impact of Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) regulations on the lives of local residents.

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Political Correctness Wins…Obama To Kill ‘Hellfire’ & ‘Tomahawk’ Missile Programs

The Pentagon – (satireworld.com) President Barack Obama is seeking to abolish two highly successful missile programs that experts say have helped the U.S. Navy maintain military superiority for the past several decades. Sources close to the President say recent complaints by athiests concerning the ‘Hell’ in Hellfire missiles and recent concerns over racial profiling of […]

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Lab-grown Vaginas Big Hit At Lesbian Caterers

Tijuana, Mexico – (satireworld.com) Lab grown artificial vaginas are a reality! Scientists in Tijuana Mexico have patented the process where replacement vaginas can be grown in a petri dish in about 3 weeks. American and Mexican doctors and scientists carried out implant surgery four times between June 2005 and October 2008, reports the Tijuana Medical […]

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MSNBC’s Chris Hayes Looks Like An Idiot After Gun Challenge Aimed At NRA

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) On May 22 MSNBC’s Chris Hayes expressed amazement that he has heard no response from the NRA to a smart gun “truce” offered them on May 5 by a New Jersey State senator who is at the forefront of anti-gun activity in her state.

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NASA – ‘Hubble Telescope Spots Human Remains Laying On Moon’s Surface’

Houston, TX – (SatireWorld.com) NASA Scientists released information, along with a Top Secret report, concerning the recent discovery of human remains spotted laying on the surface of the Earth’s moon. The desiccated figure, reportedly dressed in what appears to be a cotton house dress, was discovered by the Hubble space telescope last March during a […]

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Karl Rove: ‘Hillary Clinton Has Brain Damage’

Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com) Karl Rove stunned a conference when he suggested Hillary Clinton might have brain damage from a fall she took while working at the State Department.

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Researchers at Harvard Medical School Find Genetic Flaw In Those Who Share Liberal Ideology

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Researchers at the prestigious Harvard Medical School published a jaw-dropping study showing proof-positive results on what makes a person’s mind think in liberal political terms. After an exhausting 10 year study, over 5,000 local Bostonians and university students were given tests and DNA samples were taken in an effort to disprove […]

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Portsmouth UK Man Has Head Injury Repaired Using Super Glue and 3-D Printer

Portsmouth (UK) – (satireworld.com) Doctors at Queen Alexandra Hospital have used 3D printing technology to replace most of a man’s missing skull in an innovative procedure including Super Glue that is sure to revolutionize orthopedic surgery.

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Sperm Count Drop Among White British Males Alarms World Physicians

Manchester (UK) – (satireworld.com) When it comes to sperm counts, those randy Englishmen aren’t what they used to be, according to a new national study that shows sperm production is almost non-existent among British males.

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Global Warming Blamed For Women’s Worldwide Vagina Cool Down

Copenhagen – (satireworld.com) Esteemed scientist and 2008 Nobel Science Award recipient, Dr. Newton J. Blather, issued a startling warning to people everywhere about a disturbing event he has recorded over the past year…Women and their vaginas everywhere are cooling down due to global warming.

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Russia To Annex Earth’s Moon

Moscow – Russian Space Agency Russian Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin announced on Friday that the nation plans to carve out an area of operations on the moon citing, “We saw the moon first and it belongs to us!”

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Life Still Sucks But My Vacuum Doesn’t! The Day my Dyson Died!

Pawleys Island, SC from the Archives of 2011 Part 1 of 2 After a long battle involving overwhelming odds, my 8 year old vacuum cleaner finally succumbed to clogged arteries, dust allergies, a slipped clutch, and two worn out fan belts, all blamed on inattention to detail, lack of service and indifference on the part […]

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Democratic Women Turn To Having Dogs Rather Than Children

New York City – (satireworld.com) America’s next generation of youngsters could be four-legged and might howl at the moon if millions of Gen-X female democrats have their way and avoid childbirth.

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Lab-grown Vaginas Big Hit At Lesbian Caterers

Tijuana, Mexico – (satireworld.com) Lab grown artificial vaginas are a reality! Scientists in Tijuana Mexico have patented the process where replacement vaginas can be grown in a petri dish in about 3 weeks. American and Mexican doctors and scientists carried out implant surgery four times between June 2005 and October 2008, reports the Tijuana Medical […]

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Due To Religious and Ethnic Concerns Obama To Kill ‘Hellfire’ & ‘Tomahawk’ Missile Programs

The Pentagon – (satireworld.com) President Barack Obama is seeking to abolish two highly successful missile programs that experts say have helped the U.S. Navy maintain military superiority for the past several decades. Sources close to the President say recent complaints by athiests concerning the ‘Hell’ in Hellfire missiles and recent concerns over racial profiling of […]

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Islamic Cleric Backs Off ‘Visiting Mars Fatwa’ Now Says It’s OK To Visit Uranus

Saudi Arabia – (satireword.com) Promoting or being involved with a trip to the Red Planet is prohibited in Islam, a fatwa committee under the General Authority of Islamic Affairs and Endowment in the UAE ruled only last week. Now, that has changed with approvals for muslims to visit Uranus any time they want.

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Islamic Cleric Issues Fatwa Banning Muslims From Visiting Mars

Islamisbad, Pakistan – (satireworld.com) Promoting or being involved in a one-way trip to the Red Planet is prohibited in Islam, a fatwa committee under the General Authority of Islamic Affairs and Endowment in the UAE has ruled.

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Where Has All the Hot Air Gone?

San Francisco CA – (satireworld.com) Professor Dr. ME Schmuck of the Al Gore Institute (AGI) has been designated as AGI’s spokesman to explain why the concept of manmade Global Warming/Climate Change is still relevant. AGI located in Nashville TN was founded by former Democratic Vice President Gore in 2002, following his loss in the hotly […]

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Why California Is Broke and Texas Is Not

(satireworld.com) Ever wonder why a prosperous state like California is always so broke they cut back on just about every service, while Texas seems to just keep on doing the right thing. It’s all related to the Coyote Principle

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A Theory of Gender Politics Related to Climate Change Debunked

Nashville TN – (satireworld.com) The Al Gore Institute (AGI), founded by the former Democratic Vice President in 2002, has been involved in trying to establish that Global Warming/Climate Change is the cause of all of the world’s problems.

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Report: 88% of Liberal Democrats Test Positive For Neanderthal Genes

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Recent government sponsored research has shown at least one-fifth of the Neanderthal genome may lurk within modern humans, influencing the skin, hair, political leanings, and mental diseases some people have today, researchers say.

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Forced to Retire! Interior Department Paleontologists Find Prehistoric Mastodon Remains Inside Congressmen Henry Waxman’s Nostrils

Washington, DC-(SatireWorld.com) Twenty-term Congressmen Henry Waxman (D-CA) never guessed he would be in trouble for something un-related to politics, but stranger things have happened to people as strange-looking as the Democratic Representative from California’s 30th District.

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White House West Wing to be Reconstructed

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) The White House hasn’t undergone any major architectural changes since the Truman administration renovation (1949-1951), while President Harry S Truman (D-MO) lived in the Blair House. Any White House updates must be performed prior to the next presidential inauguration in 2017.

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