Archive for 'Science & Tech'

Obama Assigns Blame for the Cause of the ObamaCare Website Rollout Failures

Martha’s Vineyard MA – (satireworld.com) President Obama, as he was leaving aboard Air Force One for Washington DC after 10 days of vacation made a parting statement. He indicated that his administration had finally uncovered the culprit responsible for the disastrous roll-out of the ObamaCare federal health care exchanges three years ago

Full Story

Navajo Nation Declares War on the United States

Durango/Silverton CO – (satireworld.com) The Animas River in southwestern Colorado has been horribly polluted with toxic water spilled from an abandoned mine located in the region. The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has accepted responsibility, saying agency personnel accidentally breached an underground store of mine waste and chemical-laced water.

Full Story

Obama to Receive an Award From a National Proctologist Organization

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) President Obama was to receive two awards, one from the National Association of Retired Proctologists (NARP) and the second from the National Association of Retired Gynecologists (NARG). The award presentations were to occur after Mr. Obama returned from his recent two day trip to Kenya and Ethiopia, but prior to his upcoming […]

Full Story

Giant African Snails Invade Miami Florida

Miami, Fl – (satireworld.com) Four years after the first African giant snails appeared in Miami, they’ve spread to the suburbs and there seems to be no stopping them. Though massive, with the largest yet recorded around seventeen inches long and weighing a sturdy 11 pounds, the snails disappear underground during working hours where they stay […]

Full Story

Florida Child Welfare Agency Orders Crackdown On Planned Parenthood Citing ‘ Tater Tots’ And ‘Baby Back Ribs’ Harvesting.’

Tallahassee, FL (satireworld.com) The Florida Department of Health and Human Services launched the biggest child abuse crackdown in the agency’s history. Citing various infractions of both state and federal laws, the enforcement division of the HHS, made simultaneous raids at Planned Parenthood locations across the state.

Full Story

US Department of Planets Authenticates Pluto As An Official Planet

US Geological Survey US Department of Planets Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) The US Department of Planets (USDOP) officially gave its blessing and has now listed Pluto as a verified planet after years of on again/off again speculation that it was merely a collection of ice and rocks without a specific planetary form.

Full Story

Kerry: ‘Iran Limited To 30,000 Pound Nuke Warheads’

Geneva, Switzerland – (satireworld.com) In a sweeping announcement at the end of months of negotiation, Secretary of State John Kerry outlined the signed weapons treaty that limits Iran’s future nuclear capability.

Full Story

DNA Doesn’t Lie!

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) The House Committee looking into former Secretary of State (SOS) Hillary Clinton’s private email server found email correspondence dated July 15, 2012 from the DNA Investigative Research Corporation (DIRC). The document is as follows.

Full Story

EPA Mandates New Additive for Gasoline

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) Administrator Gina McCarthy announced that commencing in the fall of 2015 US based oil refiners will be required to blend Obamium Oxide (ShO2) into all their gasoline products. The pungent aroma of ShO2 has been found to painlessly remove trans-fats from the human body, just by breathing. The […]

Full Story

Josh Earnest Says ‘White House Hasn’t Discounted Using Nukes To Combat ISIS’

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) In the wake of a surprise announcement from the White House over the re-deployment of 450 US troops to Anbar Province in Iraq, Press Secretary Josh Earnest was quoted as saying the President has finally come up with a strategy to combat ISIS which includes using B-52 bombers and strategic nuclear […]

Full Story

Obama Announces Solution to Gender Inequality

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) President Obama has long felt that solving “Gender Inequality” is a close second to solving “Climate Change” on the nation’s national priority list. At a Rose Garden press conference the president indicated a solution has been proposed called “Genital Equality.”

Full Story

Date Night With Caitlin Jenner and Chaz Bono!

Hollywoodie, CA – (satireworld.com) This is getting a little confusing out in Hollywood-land with ‘he’s’ turning into ‘she’s’ and ‘she’s’ becoming ‘he’s’ with a transgender boom that’s confusing people and driving tradition dating roles obsolete.

Full Story

Al Gore Speaks to the Flat Earth Society

London UK – (satireworld.com) Al Gore was invited to speak at the May meeting of the modern day Flat Earth Society (FES) London Branch (LB) about his theories of greenhouse gases causing Global Warming/Climate Change and the catastrophic results. Mr. Gore, 15 of his associates and 10 reporters boarded two of his private jets to […]

Full Story

West Coast ‘Big One’ Just Months Away Says Experts

San Francisco, CA – (satireworld.com) A new environmental report blames automobiles for the rise in Tectonic activity mainly in the Pacific rim, and at various locations along the eastern seaboard of the US. Advisories have been forwarded to the US West Coast in anticipation of the ‘Big One’ which is expected to strike in the […]

Full Story

Governor Advises California Visitors To Bring Own Water

Sacramento, CA – (satireworld.com) In an unprecedented speech about the calamity now being touted as as the Great California Drought, Governor Jerry Brown advised those who will be visiting California to bring along their own water. He hinted that in the foreseeable future some visitors might be turned back from entering the state if they […]

Full Story

New Proposed EPA Rule to Ban Condoms

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) had considered a nationwide ban on plastic supermarket bags or a five cent tax on them because the usual rabid environmental groups claim that these items clog east and west coast ocean inlets/bays, rivers and kill fish.

Full Story

Condo Demands DNA Samples From Occupants

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) A newly constructed condominium complex in the southeastern part of the city is requiring all occupants moving into the buildings to provide a DNA sample. The intent is to crack down on tenants with teenagers who Crap (fouling the footpath) on the property in the wee hours of the morning as a […]

Full Story

The Last Environmentalist Has left the Planet by 2025

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) recently announced that a fragment of a comet would be landing in Maryland, near the mouth of the Chesapeake Bay. The inner core of this asteroid was made of tons and tons of frozen Dinosaur poop, e.g. “Crapsicle” and is headed for planet Earth. […]

Full Story

Maryland Environmental Groups to be Impacted

Annapolis MD – (satireworld.com) The Maryland Legislature is currently in the process of wrapping up its 2015 session with many lobbyists and activists still at the Capital. An announcement was received from the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) that a chunk of a comet could be landing in Maryland waters, near the mouth of […]

Full Story

Obama’s Politically Correct Fascist Food Police Produce a Report

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) King Barack “5 Guy Hamburgers and Fries Sneak Eater” Obama and Empress Michelle “I love authentic Spanish and French Food over there” Obama, both tastes paid for by USA taxpayers received the Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee (DGAC) report. This DGAC report would be the basis of the new food pyramid, to […]

Full Story

New Ills Plague the Obama White House

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) President Obama appears to be in political trouble again. A group of 47 Republican Senators has published an open letter to Iran specifying that any nuclear development agreement, treaty or deal between the USA and Iran requires US Senate approval, e.g. a 2/3 approval vote in accordance with the US Constitution. Also, […]

Full Story

PETA Accepts 13 Retiring Ringling Brothers Circus Elephants

Polk City FL – (satireworld.com) The “Greatest Show on Earth” will soon be without elephants. Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus spokesman P.T. Barnum III announced the phasing out the use of Asian elephants in its shows. A business decision has been made to retire all these animals by 2018.

Full Story

US Intelligence Reports North Korea Will Launch Nuke Toward Moon’s Surface This Year

North Korea, (satireworld.com) Life of the Party, and Chairman for Life, Kim Jong -Un announced to the world that the DPNK will set off a 100 megaton nuclear warhead on the surface of the moon sometime this year. The nuclear device will be delivered using a Long Dong military ICBM and will target the mostly […]

Full Story

Winter Weather Frustrates Al Gore After Record Cold Snap Breaks 100 Year Records

Nashville, TN- (satireworld.com) Frustrated over seeing his environmental influence being challenged by a wave after wave of extreme cold winter storms that have people scrambling to keep warm in almost every state, ex-vice president and perennial sore loser, Al Gore is at a loss for words and has gone into hiding somewhere on his 7,000 […]

Full Story

Obama Blames “Icelandic Tourism” for Climate Change

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest announced that President Obama will hold a press conference in the White House Rose Garden to explain the problems his administration will be facing in the last two years of his presidency. Paramount will be a new theory of Global Warming/Climate Change that explains why the […]

Full Story

President Suffering From Vertigo Due to Constant Spinning About Religion

WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com) President Obama was admitted to a DC area hospital today after complaining to aides of dizziness. After an initial examination, doctors determined the President was suffering from vertigo, due to his constant spinning on religion lately. The vertigo was the worst during and just after the President’s remarks today at the […]

Full Story

Obama Reverses Himself and Now Supports the Second Amendment?

Washington DC: (satireworld.com) In a strange turn of events President Barack Obama now fully supports the Second Amendment to the US Constitution, “the right of citizens to bear arms.” The president has asked the Republican Congress to mandate that every American purchase an AK 47 Assault Rifle and to levy the appropriate taxes or fees.

Full Story

Missing Page from Obama’s SOTU Address Discovered

Washington DC: (satireworld.com) On January 20, 2015 President Obama gave his seventh State of the Union (SOTU) address to a joint session of the Republican controlled Congress, the Supreme Court Justices, White House officials, invited guests, the news media and the American people.

Full Story

Obama Admits Global Warming Not Real

Washington DC: (satireworld.com) White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest has signaled that President Obama will make a major policy speech on his return from Saudi Arabia. The president will refute “Global Warming” as a hoax created by former Democratic Vice President Al Gore.

Full Story

Obama Administration Sued for $100 Trillion

Washington DC: (satireworld.com) A class action lawsuit has been brought by 20 million US “frequent flyers” against President Obama, the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA), the Transportation Safety Administration (TSA) and the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA).

Full Story