Archive for 'Science & Tech'

215 Months and Still No Global Warming

Somewhere in Al Gore-land – (satireworld.com) I’ve been waiting Al Gore! You promised palm trees and water slides at the North Pole for the last several yerars and I’m beginning to think your pants are on fire!

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Obama’s Next Major Crisis, Reproduction

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) President Obama returned to the White House in the middle of his golfing vacation on Martha’s Vineyard MA to address a new crisis, in a series of meetings, according to a leak from a WH staffer. The crisis was not about ObamaCare, illegal immigration, ongoing IRS and other scandals or the […]

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Earthquake Shakes California – Obama Blames it on…’The Bush’s Fault Line”

Napa, CA- (SatireWorld.com) A 6.1 earthquake rattled San Francisco and neighboring towns this morning with shock waves being felt as far north as Oregon. No major damages have been reported and injuries were confined to a few heart attacks from some elderly citizens.

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Lost Japanese Tsunami Survivor Found Floating In Pacific Ocean Debris Heading To US

Hawaiian Islands-(SatireWorld.com) A US Coast Guard helicopter made an astounding discover Tuesday after scouting out the gigantic floating debris field originating from the 2011 tsunami that rocked the east coast of Japan. A ragged survivor hailed the low-flying helicopter with a remnant of a shirt.

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Surgeon General’s Office Finds Multiple New Problems with Smoking

Provo, UT – (satireworld.com) The Surgeon General’s office released a report today that cigarette smoking contains dangers other than just lung and throat cancer. Dewey Flintlock, official spokesman, said in an interview that these dangers are far reaching. “Have you ever noticed how a smoker will light a cigarette while sitting directly beneath a “no […]

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For First Time, Hard Drive Crashes Surpasses Car Crashes in Washington DC

Washington D.C. – (satireworld.com) An epidemic of hard drive crashes is sweeping this city and, for the first time in history, the number has exceeded the total number of car crashes that have occurred within the city limits since 2011.

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Anti-Rape Bra Shocks Assailants

Via Drudge Report Murali Krishnan Engineering students in New Delhi have developed a bra that shocks and burns potential attackers. It also has GPS Nearly two years ago, the gruesome gang rape and murder of a young woman on a bus in New Delhi left many Indians shocked and saddened. Tens of thousands took to […]

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There is no Intelligent Life Here

Star Date 2024.7.9, Captains Log:  The Star Ship U.S.S Texas commanded by Captain Rick Perry has been dispatched to the Obama System to evacuate any intelligent life existing on the 10 planets. The star Obama is expected to go Supernova. There have also been reports of illegal immigrants trying to sneak into the Obama system […]

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AARP Files New Unfair Labor Practices Complaint With The NLRB

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) A recent Supreme Court ruling stipulated that three members of the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) were unconstitutionally appointed by President Obama, as the Congress was not in recess. This ruling has given the American Association of Retired Prostitutes (AARP) a second chance to present their complaint to the NLRB.

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“Anal Seepage” Voted Least Favorite Thing To Discover In A Chair

Las Cruces, NM – (satireworld.com) In a poll conducted by The Harvard Institute of Silly Surveys That Waste Government Money But Provide Work For Tenured Professors, Lazy Students and ACORN Workers, Anal Seepage was voted “The Least Favorite Thing To Find In A Chair.”

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Southern Border Swamped With Sick Central American Refugees Ordered To ‘Head North’ For Free Treatment

US Southern Border – (satireworld.com) Central American political leaders have found an innovative process to rid their hospital and clinic wards of sick and dying patients who are too poor to pay. Honduran bus lines and Guatemalan freight truckers are transporting thousands of sick citizens northward to the US border and dumping them near he […]

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White House Quietly Intervenes in Transvaginal Mesh Lawsuits

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) The White House has asked US Attorney General Eric Holder and the Department of Justice (DOJ) lawyers to quickly and quietly settle all outstanding Transvaginal Mesh lawsuit cases.

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More News About Cell Phone Electromagnetic Radiation

Berkeley CA – (satireworld.com) A study conducted in the United Kingdom (UK) found that men who keep their cell phones in their pants pockets suffer from decreased sperm mobility. The researchers indicated the possible cause may be due to non-ionizing electromagnetic radiation (EMR).

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Tempers Flare at Environmental Town Meeting

Pizmo Beach Pennsyltucky – (satireworld.com) An emergency meeting of the Pizmo Beach Town Council was called by the Council President Philbert to discuss complaints about the impact of Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) regulations on the lives of local residents.

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Political Correctness Wins…Obama To Kill ‘Hellfire’ & ‘Tomahawk’ Missile Programs

The Pentagon – (satireworld.com) President Barack Obama is seeking to abolish two highly successful missile programs that experts say have helped the U.S. Navy maintain military superiority for the past several decades. Sources close to the President say recent complaints by athiests concerning the ‘Hell’ in Hellfire missiles and recent concerns over racial profiling of […]

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Lab-grown Vaginas Big Hit At Lesbian Caterers

Tijuana, Mexico – (satireworld.com) Lab grown artificial vaginas are a reality! Scientists in Tijuana Mexico have patented the process where replacement vaginas can be grown in a petri dish in about 3 weeks. American and Mexican doctors and scientists carried out implant surgery four times between June 2005 and October 2008, reports the Tijuana Medical […]

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MSNBC’s Chris Hayes Looks Like An Idiot After Gun Challenge Aimed At NRA

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) On May 22 MSNBC’s Chris Hayes expressed amazement that he has heard no response from the NRA to a smart gun “truce” offered them on May 5 by a New Jersey State senator who is at the forefront of anti-gun activity in her state.

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NASA – ‘Hubble Telescope Spots Human Remains Laying On Moon’s Surface’

Houston, TX – (SatireWorld.com) NASA Scientists released information, along with a Top Secret report, concerning the recent discovery of human remains spotted laying on the surface of the Earth’s moon. The desiccated figure, reportedly dressed in what appears to be a cotton house dress, was discovered by the Hubble space telescope last March during a […]

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Karl Rove: ‘Hillary Clinton Has Brain Damage’

Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com) Karl Rove stunned a conference when he suggested Hillary Clinton might have brain damage from a fall she took while working at the State Department.

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Researchers at Harvard Medical School Find Genetic Flaw In Those Who Share Liberal Ideology

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Researchers at the prestigious Harvard Medical School published a jaw-dropping study showing proof-positive results on what makes a person’s mind think in liberal political terms. After an exhausting 10 year study, over 5,000 local Bostonians and university students were given tests and DNA samples were taken in an effort to disprove […]

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Portsmouth UK Man Has Head Injury Repaired Using Super Glue and 3-D Printer

Portsmouth (UK) – (satireworld.com) Doctors at Queen Alexandra Hospital have used 3D printing technology to replace most of a man’s missing skull in an innovative procedure including Super Glue that is sure to revolutionize orthopedic surgery.

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Sperm Count Drop Among White British Males Alarms World Physicians

Manchester (UK) – (satireworld.com) When it comes to sperm counts, those randy Englishmen aren’t what they used to be, according to a new national study that shows sperm production is almost non-existent among British males.

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Global Warming Blamed For Women’s Worldwide Vagina Cool Down

Copenhagen – (satireworld.com) Esteemed scientist and 2008 Nobel Science Award recipient, Dr. Newton J. Blather, issued a startling warning to people everywhere about a disturbing event he has recorded over the past year…Women and their vaginas everywhere are cooling down due to global warming.

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Russia To Annex Earth’s Moon

Moscow – Russian Space Agency Russian Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin announced on Friday that the nation plans to carve out an area of operations on the moon citing, “We saw the moon first and it belongs to us!”

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Life Still Sucks But My Vacuum Doesn’t! The Day my Dyson Died!

Pawleys Island, SC from the Archives of 2011 Part 1 of 2 After a long battle involving overwhelming odds, my 8 year old vacuum cleaner finally succumbed to clogged arteries, dust allergies, a slipped clutch, and two worn out fan belts, all blamed on inattention to detail, lack of service and indifference on the part […]

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Democratic Women Turn To Having Dogs Rather Than Children

New York City – (satireworld.com) America’s next generation of youngsters could be four-legged and might howl at the moon if millions of Gen-X female democrats have their way and avoid childbirth.

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Lab-grown Vaginas Big Hit At Lesbian Caterers

Tijuana, Mexico – (satireworld.com) Lab grown artificial vaginas are a reality! Scientists in Tijuana Mexico have patented the process where replacement vaginas can be grown in a petri dish in about 3 weeks. American and Mexican doctors and scientists carried out implant surgery four times between June 2005 and October 2008, reports the Tijuana Medical […]

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Due To Religious and Ethnic Concerns Obama To Kill ‘Hellfire’ & ‘Tomahawk’ Missile Programs

The Pentagon – (satireworld.com) President Barack Obama is seeking to abolish two highly successful missile programs that experts say have helped the U.S. Navy maintain military superiority for the past several decades. Sources close to the President say recent complaints by athiests concerning the ‘Hell’ in Hellfire missiles and recent concerns over racial profiling of […]

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Islamic Cleric Backs Off ‘Visiting Mars Fatwa’ Now Says It’s OK To Visit Uranus

Saudi Arabia – (satireword.com) Promoting or being involved with a trip to the Red Planet is prohibited in Islam, a fatwa committee under the General Authority of Islamic Affairs and Endowment in the UAE ruled only last week. Now, that has changed with approvals for muslims to visit Uranus any time they want.

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Islamic Cleric Issues Fatwa Banning Muslims From Visiting Mars

Islamisbad, Pakistan – (satireworld.com) Promoting or being involved in a one-way trip to the Red Planet is prohibited in Islam, a fatwa committee under the General Authority of Islamic Affairs and Endowment in the UAE has ruled.

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