Archive for 'Science & Tech'

Forced to Retire! Interior Department Paleontologists Find Prehistoric Mastodon Remains Inside Congressmen Henry Waxman’s Nostrils

Washington, DC-(SatireWorld.com) Twenty-term Congressmen Henry Waxman (D-CA) never guessed he would be in trouble for something un-related to politics, but stranger things have happened to people as strange-looking as the Democratic Representative from California’s 30th District.

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White House West Wing to be Reconstructed

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) The White House hasn’t undergone any major architectural changes since the Truman administration renovation (1949-1951), while President Harry S Truman (D-MO) lived in the Blair House. Any White House updates must be performed prior to the next presidential inauguration in 2017.

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Outbreak of Liberal’s Disease Reported in Baltimore Maryland

Baltimore MD – (Satireworld.com) The Center for Disease Control (CDC), based in Atlanta GA, has dispatched several Epidemiologists to this city to investigate reports of an outbreak of Democratic Liberal Politician’s disease. The virus is known colloquially as “tax, spend and regulate” (Latin, Handsus in Pocketus).

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Record Winter Cold Has Al Gore Worried As Book and Movie Profits Crumble

Nashville, TN- (satireworld.com) Frustrated over seeing his environmental influence being challenged by a series of deep cold winter storms that have people scrambling to keep warm in almost every state, ex-vice president and perennial sore loser Al Gore is at a loss for words and has gone into hiding somewhere on his 77,000 acre Tennessee […]

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Al Gore Found Dead! Car Skids Into Snowbank!

Breaking News!!! Corn Pone, TN – (SatireWorld.com) Tennessee State highway patrol officials say the blue 2013 Prius pulled from a 25 foot snow bank is a car registered to Albert Gore. A passing motorist saw a faint glimmer of a tailight flashing from within the massive snowbank near Hollow Brook Road in rural Tennessee. Police […]

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Canadian Sex Experts Say…Pedophilia is a ‘Sexual Orientation’

Toronto, Canada – (SatireWorld.com) Straight, gay, bi, trans, and now…pedophile? Yes, you knew this was coming and the miscreant who’s molesting kids will have the protection of ‘sexual orientation’ on their side in the future. In fact, look for him or her to be proudly marching in a furure Gay Pride Parade!

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Obama Administration to Hire 5,000 Navel Inspectors

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) An unsubstantiated opinion originating from the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) speculated that belly button lint may be hazardous to human health. The EPA is not going to issue any new regulations for now, but recommends Americans be vigilant about innie belly button lint build up causing fires.

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Gay Epidemic In China’s Future As Parents Abort Record Numbers Of Female Fetuses

Beijing, China-(SatireWorld.com) It’s a well known state secret that by the year 2020 an epidemic of male homosexuality will sweep a nation of a billion plus people making China the largest nation of single gay men on the planet.

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White Woman Claims Watching 3-D Film Made Her Pregnant With A Black Child

Fort Bragg, NC – (SatireWorld.com) A white American couple gave birth to black baby boy in August at the Army hospital located in the sprawling Fort Bragg complex. The very surprised woman claimed she had become pregnant while watching a 3D porno movie in a public theater! The child’s equally surprised father James Francis, a […]

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Massive Iceberg Heading To Los Angeles!

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) A massive iceberg drifting from Antarctica could spell disaster for Los Angeles if it floats too far away from the continent.

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Gaze-tracking Study Confirms Most Men Stare At A Woman’s Chest

Mayview, South Carolina – (SatireWorld.com) A new study has confirmed something women have been complaining about for years. The research, out of the University of Breast Information and published in the current issue of Big Tits Magazine essentially corroborates the belief that people tend to focus more on the breasts and figure of a woman […]

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Scientists Warn Major Earthquake To strike West Coast Soon

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) A report blames automobiles for the rise in tectonic activity mainly in the Pacific rim, and at various locations along the eastern seaboard of the US. Advisories have been forwarded to the US West Coast in anticipation of the ‘Big One’ which is expected to strike in the next few […]

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Radiation experts confirm radioactive polonium found on Arafat clothing

Geneva, Switzerland – (SatireWorld.com) Swiss radiation experts have confirmed they found traces of polonium on clothing used by Yasser Arafat which “support the possibility” the veteran Palestinian leader was poisoned.

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Obama’s ‘Gift To Iranian People’ Declared A Worthless Fake Antique

New York City, NY – (SatireWorld.com) Last month, the Obama administration gave Iranian President Hassan Rouhani a silver drinking cup in the shape of a winged griffin that was reported to be worth more than a million dollars as “a special gift” for the Iranian people.

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President Obama has an Epiphany on the 18th Hole

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) White House Press Secretary Jay Carney announced that President Obama had a “Eureka Moment” about US urban transportation needs while playing golf at the Congressional Country Club.

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UN Climate Report Hilarious Says Top MIT Scientist

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Not all scientists are panicking about global warming — one of them finds the alarmism “hilarious.”

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2200, A Martian Odyssey

Mars City, Mars – (SatireWorld.vom) The NASA rover Curiosity survived landing on Mars in 2012, followed by a manned landing in 2030 and then initial colonization of portions of the red planet’s surface, via domed cities. Humans living and working “under the domes” was complete by 2200.

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Chevron Legal Team: Enough Recoverable Methane Gas under White House to fuel Country for 1,000 Years!

London(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) A leader in the world’s energy production, Chevron, fresh off their victory against Ecuador’s extortion attempts led by corrupt US Attorney Kerry “Ambien” Kennedy, announced the huge unnatural gas find at a stockholder’s meeting in London.

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Government Bureaucrats Are Coming After Poop

Eastern Shore MD – (SatireWorld.com) A federal judge has ruled for the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) in a lawsuit brought against the agency, regarding laws aimed to improve water conditions in the Chesapeake Bay. Marylanders want their bay waters cleaned up, but not by federal encroachment of Washington DC bureaucrats.

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Three Researchers Receive the Nobel Prize in Chemistry

Oslo Norway- (SatireWorld.com) The Nobel Prize in Chemistry was awarded to three researchers from Pennsyltucky University. Professors Bargis Tryhol, Captain America and Philbert of Macadamia shared this prestigious award for identifying and isolating the progressive radical designated as [OBAMA].

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Interesting Facts About Roulette

Interesting Facts About Roulette

Who doesn’t want to win the Roulette jackpot? It is the dream, but the issue is that not many of us understand that winning roulette is not just about luck, it is about understanding the strategy behind it. To begin trying to beat the wheel we have to understand how random number generation works.

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Jogging Path Groper Busted

Annapolis MD – (SatireWorld.com) Maryland State Police (MSP) officials are asking the public to help identify an approximately 25 year old male caught trying to grope a woman, while she was jogging on a local wooded path. Photos of the suspect will be posted via smart phones, the internet and local TV channels.

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Abundant Food Source Undergoes Initial Testing

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), the US Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) have undertaken a joint project to reduce pollution, yet provide an abundant inexpensive new food source.

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New Democratic Medical Disorder Discovered

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) As a result of the Syrian strike crisis, a startling new political malady has been discovered that affects some Democratic liberal Senators and Congresspersons voting choices.

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PETA: Eating Chicken Wings Could Affect Penis Size

Philadelphia, PA – (SatireWorld.com) Eating chicken parts or, more specifically, chicken wings, could shrink your baby’s man parts. At least, that’s what PETA is alleging in advance of the National Buffalo Wing Festival.

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No Political Link Discovered Between Sugary Soft Drinks and Sexual Promiscuity

Washington DC- (SatireWorld.com) House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Democratic National Committee Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman-Shultz (D-FL) were appalled at the sexual antics of some current male politicians. They felt a Congressional investigation might be warranted.

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Scientists Grow New Teeth From Urine

Guangzhou, China – (SatireWorld.com) Scientists have grown rudimentary teeth out of the most unlikely of sources, human urine. The results, published in Cell Regeneration Journal, showed that urine could be used as a source of stem cells that in turn could be grown into tiny tooth-like structures.

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The More Technology Advances, The More They Screw It Up (A Satireworld Editorial)

Somewhere in New Mexico…A SATIREWORLD EDITORIAL They’ve gone off and changed my ‘damned leash’ at work. The powers that be finally got rid of the blankety-blank Blackberries, which I thoroughly loathed.

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Obama Administration Rejects a New Fracking Study

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) President Obama, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) administrator, a number of US environmentalists and a foreign researcher met to discuss the results of a new fracking study.

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Donkey Manure Pollution of the Potomac River/Chesapeake Bay Increasing

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) may have made an error in blaming Maryland and Delaware poultry farmers for the Chesapeake Bay’s chicken manure pollution problems.

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