Archive for 'Science & Tech'

Political Correctness Wins…Obama To Kill ‘Hellfire’ & ‘Tomahawk’ Missile Programs

The Pentagon – (satireworld.com) President Barack Obama is seeking to abolish two highly successful missile programs that experts say have helped the U.S. Navy maintain military superiority for the past several decades. Sources close to the President say recent complaints by athiests concerning the ‘Hell’ in Hellfire missiles and recent concerns over racial profiling of […]

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Lab-grown Vaginas Big Hit At Lesbian Caterers

Tijuana, Mexico – (satireworld.com) Lab grown artificial vaginas are a reality! Scientists in Tijuana Mexico have patented the process where replacement vaginas can be grown in a petri dish in about 3 weeks. American and Mexican doctors and scientists carried out implant surgery four times between June 2005 and October 2008, reports the Tijuana Medical […]

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MSNBC’s Chris Hayes Looks Like An Idiot After Gun Challenge Aimed At NRA

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) On May 22 MSNBC’s Chris Hayes expressed amazement that he has heard no response from the NRA to a smart gun “truce” offered them on May 5 by a New Jersey State senator who is at the forefront of anti-gun activity in her state.

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NASA – ‘Hubble Telescope Spots Human Remains Laying On Moon’s Surface’

Houston, TX – (SatireWorld.com) NASA Scientists released information, along with a Top Secret report, concerning the recent discovery of human remains spotted laying on the surface of the Earth’s moon. The desiccated figure, reportedly dressed in what appears to be a cotton house dress, was discovered by the Hubble space telescope last March during a […]

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Karl Rove: ‘Hillary Clinton Has Brain Damage’

Los Angeles, CA – (satireworld.com) Karl Rove stunned a conference when he suggested Hillary Clinton might have brain damage from a fall she took while working at the State Department.

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Researchers at Harvard Medical School Find Genetic Flaw In Those Who Share Liberal Ideology

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com) Researchers at the prestigious Harvard Medical School published a jaw-dropping study showing proof-positive results on what makes a person’s mind think in liberal political terms. After an exhausting 10 year study, over 5,000 local Bostonians and university students were given tests and DNA samples were taken in an effort to disprove […]

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Portsmouth UK Man Has Head Injury Repaired Using Super Glue and 3-D Printer

Portsmouth (UK) – (satireworld.com) Doctors at Queen Alexandra Hospital have used 3D printing technology to replace most of a man’s missing skull in an innovative procedure including Super Glue that is sure to revolutionize orthopedic surgery.

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Sperm Count Drop Among White British Males Alarms World Physicians

Manchester (UK) – (satireworld.com) When it comes to sperm counts, those randy Englishmen aren’t what they used to be, according to a new national study that shows sperm production is almost non-existent among British males.

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Global Warming Blamed For Women’s Worldwide Vagina Cool Down

Copenhagen – (satireworld.com) Esteemed scientist and 2008 Nobel Science Award recipient, Dr. Newton J. Blather, issued a startling warning to people everywhere about a disturbing event he has recorded over the past year…Women and their vaginas everywhere are cooling down due to global warming.

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Russia To Annex Earth’s Moon

Moscow – Russian Space Agency Russian Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin announced on Friday that the nation plans to carve out an area of operations on the moon citing, “We saw the moon first and it belongs to us!”

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Life Still Sucks But My Vacuum Doesn’t! The Day my Dyson Died!

Pawleys Island, SC from the Archives of 2011 Part 1 of 2 After a long battle involving overwhelming odds, my 8 year old vacuum cleaner finally succumbed to clogged arteries, dust allergies, a slipped clutch, and two worn out fan belts, all blamed on inattention to detail, lack of service and indifference on the part […]

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Democratic Women Turn To Having Dogs Rather Than Children

New York City – (satireworld.com) America’s next generation of youngsters could be four-legged and might howl at the moon if millions of Gen-X female democrats have their way and avoid childbirth.

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Lab-grown Vaginas Big Hit At Lesbian Caterers

Tijuana, Mexico – (satireworld.com) Lab grown artificial vaginas are a reality! Scientists in Tijuana Mexico have patented the process where replacement vaginas can be grown in a petri dish in about 3 weeks. American and Mexican doctors and scientists carried out implant surgery four times between June 2005 and October 2008, reports the Tijuana Medical […]

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Due To Religious and Ethnic Concerns Obama To Kill ‘Hellfire’ & ‘Tomahawk’ Missile Programs

The Pentagon – (satireworld.com) President Barack Obama is seeking to abolish two highly successful missile programs that experts say have helped the U.S. Navy maintain military superiority for the past several decades. Sources close to the President say recent complaints by athiests concerning the ‘Hell’ in Hellfire missiles and recent concerns over racial profiling of […]

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Islamic Cleric Backs Off ‘Visiting Mars Fatwa’ Now Says It’s OK To Visit Uranus

Saudi Arabia – (satireword.com) Promoting or being involved with a trip to the Red Planet is prohibited in Islam, a fatwa committee under the General Authority of Islamic Affairs and Endowment in the UAE ruled only last week. Now, that has changed with approvals for muslims to visit Uranus any time they want.

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Islamic Cleric Issues Fatwa Banning Muslims From Visiting Mars

Islamisbad, Pakistan – (satireworld.com) Promoting or being involved in a one-way trip to the Red Planet is prohibited in Islam, a fatwa committee under the General Authority of Islamic Affairs and Endowment in the UAE has ruled.

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Where Has All the Hot Air Gone?

San Francisco CA – (satireworld.com) Professor Dr. ME Schmuck of the Al Gore Institute (AGI) has been designated as AGI’s spokesman to explain why the concept of manmade Global Warming/Climate Change is still relevant. AGI located in Nashville TN was founded by former Democratic Vice President Gore in 2002, following his loss in the hotly […]

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Why California Is Broke and Texas Is Not

(satireworld.com) Ever wonder why a prosperous state like California is always so broke they cut back on just about every service, while Texas seems to just keep on doing the right thing. It’s all related to the Coyote Principle

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A Theory of Gender Politics Related to Climate Change Debunked

Nashville TN – (satireworld.com) The Al Gore Institute (AGI), founded by the former Democratic Vice President in 2002, has been involved in trying to establish that Global Warming/Climate Change is the cause of all of the world’s problems.

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Report: 88% of Liberal Democrats Test Positive For Neanderthal Genes

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Recent government sponsored research has shown at least one-fifth of the Neanderthal genome may lurk within modern humans, influencing the skin, hair, political leanings, and mental diseases some people have today, researchers say.

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Forced to Retire! Interior Department Paleontologists Find Prehistoric Mastodon Remains Inside Congressmen Henry Waxman’s Nostrils

Washington, DC-(SatireWorld.com) Twenty-term Congressmen Henry Waxman (D-CA) never guessed he would be in trouble for something un-related to politics, but stranger things have happened to people as strange-looking as the Democratic Representative from California’s 30th District.

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White House West Wing to be Reconstructed

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) The White House hasn’t undergone any major architectural changes since the Truman administration renovation (1949-1951), while President Harry S Truman (D-MO) lived in the Blair House. Any White House updates must be performed prior to the next presidential inauguration in 2017.

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Outbreak of Liberal’s Disease Reported in Baltimore Maryland

Baltimore MD – (Satireworld.com) The Center for Disease Control (CDC), based in Atlanta GA, has dispatched several Epidemiologists to this city to investigate reports of an outbreak of Democratic Liberal Politician’s disease. The virus is known colloquially as “tax, spend and regulate” (Latin, Handsus in Pocketus).

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Record Winter Cold Has Al Gore Worried As Book and Movie Profits Crumble

Nashville, TN- (satireworld.com) Frustrated over seeing his environmental influence being challenged by a series of deep cold winter storms that have people scrambling to keep warm in almost every state, ex-vice president and perennial sore loser Al Gore is at a loss for words and has gone into hiding somewhere on his 77,000 acre Tennessee […]

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Al Gore Found Dead! Car Skids Into Snowbank!

Breaking News!!! Corn Pone, TN – (SatireWorld.com) Tennessee State highway patrol officials say the blue 2013 Prius pulled from a 25 foot snow bank is a car registered to Albert Gore. A passing motorist saw a faint glimmer of a tailight flashing from within the massive snowbank near Hollow Brook Road in rural Tennessee. Police […]

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Canadian Sex Experts Say…Pedophilia is a ‘Sexual Orientation’

Toronto, Canada – (SatireWorld.com) Straight, gay, bi, trans, and now…pedophile? Yes, you knew this was coming and the miscreant who’s molesting kids will have the protection of ‘sexual orientation’ on their side in the future. In fact, look for him or her to be proudly marching in a furure Gay Pride Parade!

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Obama Administration to Hire 5,000 Navel Inspectors

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) An unsubstantiated opinion originating from the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) speculated that belly button lint may be hazardous to human health. The EPA is not going to issue any new regulations for now, but recommends Americans be vigilant about innie belly button lint build up causing fires.

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Gay Epidemic In China’s Future As Parents Abort Record Numbers Of Female Fetuses

Beijing, China-(SatireWorld.com) It’s a well known state secret that by the year 2020 an epidemic of male homosexuality will sweep a nation of a billion plus people making China the largest nation of single gay men on the planet.

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White Woman Claims Watching 3-D Film Made Her Pregnant With A Black Child

Fort Bragg, NC – (SatireWorld.com) A white American couple gave birth to black baby boy in August at the Army hospital located in the sprawling Fort Bragg complex. The very surprised woman claimed she had become pregnant while watching a 3D porno movie in a public theater! The child’s equally surprised father James Francis, a […]

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Massive Iceberg Heading To Los Angeles!

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) A massive iceberg drifting from Antarctica could spell disaster for Los Angeles if it floats too far away from the continent.

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