Archive for 'Science & Tech'

Maine State Police Search for Missing BBLM Members

Moose Crossing ME – (satireworld.com) The Black Bear Lives Matter (BBLM) chapter located in Brooklyn NY, has recently moved to the state of Maine to help protect black bears from extinction. BBLM members had never seen any black bears roaming in New York City (NYC), thus voicing their concern. The group incessantly searched Manhattan’s Central […]

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Queen Hillary’s Non-Indictment for Mishandling TOP SECRET Material Smells Bad

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) By now everyone in the USA, except the corrupt Democratic Party, knows that Presumptive Democratic Presidential candidate Queen Hillary Clinton is a pathological liar. After her absolution by FBI Director James Comey, supported by Attorney General (AG) Loretta Lynch and President Barack Obama, she has been temporarily let off the proverbial hook. […]

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Experts Warn: Democratic National Convention Will Be Awash With Gonorrhea and Syphilis Sufferers

Burlington, VT – (satireworld.com) Experts have warned the July DNC Convention is edging towards a “sexual health crisis” following federal cuts to STD testing services, as cases of syphilis and gonorrhea have soared among groups taking prominent positions within the Democratic Party.

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Galileo Galilei VI Arrested for Not Being Politically Correct

Rome NY: (satireworld.com) Attorney General (AG) Loretta Lynch has indicted Dr. Galileo Galilei VI for being a politically incorrect heretic because of his published scholarly papers that scientifically show that man-made global warming/climate change is a hoax. A hearing of oral arguments will be held in Washington DC before the US Supreme Court in Mid-October […]

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AG Lynch Randomly Meets Former President Bill Clinton

Phoenix AZ – (satireworld.com) Obama administration Attorney General (AG) Loretta Lynch accidentally ran into former President (FP) Bill Clinton at the Sky Harbor Airport. They met aboard AG Lynch’s private government jet while the airplane was being refueled.

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Republicans and Democrats Agree to the Same Security Measures at their Conventions

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) High ranking officials of the Republican National Committee (RNC) met with high ranking officials of the Democratic National Committee (DNC). The meeting was convened to map out a bipartisan strategy that would prevent and deal with violent protesters at their respective presidential nominating conventions. The RNC national convention will be held in […]

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Pentagon To Repeal Ban on Transgender Troops

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Men who pretend they are women, and women who pretend they are men, will be able to serve openly in America’s military services as early as next week.

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The National Weather Service has issued a Hillary Alert

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) The National Weather Service (NWS) has issued a “Hillary Alert” for all 50 states. The following bulletin explains the seriousness of a severe weather event caused by Hillary Clinton.

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EPA Investigates Pee Soup Fog as a Pollutant

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has dispatched environmental scientists to investigate complaints of air pollution caused by erecting open air urinals in the City of San Francisco CA and allowing homeless people to urinate in the streets of New York NY. The former was a decision by Democratic Mayor Ed Lee […]

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Who Invented the Wheel?

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Archaeological digs in Iraq (Mesopotamia) and Eurasia (Ukraine) have unearthed relics that substantiate the “wheel” was invented in either of these two locations during the Bronze Age (Circa 3500 BC).

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NASA Cover-up? Respected Astronomer Says Second Sun Exists.

The Internet is no stranger to NASA conspiracy theories. Most of them are so out of left field, they’re impossible to ignore. The latest is no exception, except if you believe in unicorns and pixie dust from Mars.

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New Discoveries about the Fall of the Roman Empire

Rome Italy – (satireworld.com) Dr. Icy Zambini a Professor of Ancient Roman Anthropology at the Italian and Roman School (IRS) has published a new monograph entitled “The Fall of the Western Roman Empire.”

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Trump’s Proposed Southern Border Wall Utilizes New Technology

Trenton NJ – (satireworld.com) Republican Presidential Nominee Donald Trump met at a cow farm in New Jersey with one of his many building contractors, Christi brothers Concrete and Building materials Inc. He was there to observe a breakthrough technology in wall construction that will allow cost effective, speedy wall construction across the US southern border. The […]

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Political Fallout from the Discovery of Fedulium Dioxide

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) Fedulium is the 119th element in the Periodic Table of Elements. Refined Fedulium Trioxide (FdO3) ore was used in the production of North Korea’s so called Hydrogen bomb. Fedulium Trioxide ore is only found in North Korea as Fedulasaurus poop. Fedulasaurus was a small dinosaur that went extinct 65 million years ago, […]

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Black Bear Attack Reported in Central Maryland

Baltimore MD – (satireworld.com) Four environmentalists were flown by helicopter to the Shock Trauma Center at the University of Maryland Medical Center for treatment of being mauled, scratched and bitten by a black bear in Howard County. None of the injuries is life threatening.

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ObamaGun Field Testing Demonstrates Weapon’s Failures

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) President Obama is taking one more “shot” at limiting American’s 2nd Amendment rights with another federal government rush to force so-called “smart gun” technology on the firearms industry. The president wants to begin with law enforcement officers as guinea pigs.

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Ten Pork Producing States Sue the Obama Administration and Michelle Obama

Des Moines Iowa – (satireworld.com) The US Department of Agriculture (USDA) has sent notices of heavy fines being levied for inappropriate use of food funding in school districts of 10 pork producing states. USDA charges that federal government funds were spend on other food products than those items specified in First Lady Michelle Obama’s 2013 […]

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University of Chicago Adds Two Philosophy Classes on Transgender Issues

Chicago IL – (satireworld.com) The Chairman of the Philosophy Department at the University of Chicago has announced the addition of two new philosophy classes beginning in the upcoming fall semester of 2016. These classes are required for politically correct liberal philosophy majors. However, these classes are elective minors for conservative students (if there are any […]

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JOHN KERRY DYNAMIC TRIBUTE TRILOGY III: KERRY DECLARES WAR ON LORD XENU (I WAS AGAINST SCIENTOLOGY BEFORE I WAS FOR IT!)

The Batshit Avenue Scientology Community People’s Temple – (satireworld.com) John Kerry is a man of the world, but now his flip-flopping has soared astronomically, to the point where it’s on a genuinely cosmic scale.

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Obama Reverses Himself on Global Warming

Washington DC- (satireworld.com) White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest indicated President Obama has reversed his position on global warming and now believes global cooling will begin in the year 2017 with spectacular decreases in the Earth’s temperatures to below freezing.

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Obama Proposes to Reduce NOAA’s Budget By $60 Million

Punxsutawney PA – (satireworld.com) President Obama and First Lady Michelle went by Marine One Helicopter to observe Groundhog Day in Pennsylvania. Mingling with the local crowd of observers, the first couple and 10 Secret Service agents gathered at Gobbler’s Knob early the morning of February 2, 2016 awaiting the appearance of Punxsutawney Phil.

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Hope For Bernie Saunders Supporters As Science Develops Drop-in Mini Brains

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com) Tiny, rolling balls of brain cells knocking around in a lab may one day help keep Bernie Saunders supporters from losing their place while reading the back of cereal boxes, staring at shiny objects, and other attention robbing activities that quickly spiral out of control causing deeply troubling illusions of winning […]

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Presidential Candidate Bernie Saunders Has First Bowel Movement in 20 Years

Oxford, MA – (satireworld.com) Presidential candidate Bernie Saunders (D-commie) has successfully completed his first complete ‘BM’ in over twenty years says People Magazine. In recent years Saunders had been plagued with chronic intestinal problems and has sought relief from specialists across the country but to no avail.

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Brazilian head-shrinking virus pandemic: A Psychiatrist explains

Copacabana Bitch, Brazil – (Satireworld.com) Oh, the angst of it all. Are scores of third trimester women’s Landing Strip brazilians really behind a babies’ PTSD pandemic? Alongside brain size defects from some bug-borne anaphylactic schmuck?

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Surgeons Tackle Hillary’s OPEC Tramp Stamp

New York – (satireworld.com) An Obamacare asshole screening initiative to clean up prospective presidential candidates has seen an ugly butt tatt removed from Hillary Clinton’s saggy derriere according to Our Man Behind The Speculum.

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US Navy’s First Nuclear Powered Submarine Aircraft Carrier Completes Sea Trials

The Pentagon – (satireworld.com) The nuclear-powered USS Grover Cleveland recently left the shipyards at Portsmouth and completed an exhaustive four month series of naval sea trials in the North Atlantic Ocean. The Cleveland, which is as long as the Empire State Building is tall, completed the submerged portion of the trials where the aircraft carrier […]

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North Korea’s New Energy Source Identified

Seoul SK – (satireworld.com) North Korea claims to have tested a hydrogen bomb, but the hermit kingdom has once again gotten the world’s attention with some device that makes a large bang in the night. There is a raging dispute among nuclear scientists as to whether Pyongyang is technically that far advanced in weapons development, […]

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US Navy Cancels Procurement of SSN 800 USS Barack Obama

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) The Under-Secretary of the US Navy for Procurement and Construction announced that SSN-800, which is currently an unnamed Virginia-class, nuclear powered attack submarine ordered on April 28, 2014 will be named USS Barack Obama. The building shipyard is to be Newport News Shipbuilding, Newport News Virginia. This nuclear attack boat is […]

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The Cure for Liberalism is Now Available

Washington DC: (satireworld.com) The North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) had just finished tracking Santa Clause when a large object was spotted heading towards planet Earth. As the object grew larger, natural bodies such as asteroids and meteors were ruled out by observers. When signals were received indicating “no hostile intent” and that a landing […]

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Obama Clocks Go On Sale Today

New York NY-(satireworld.com) General Original Products (GOP) Inc, headquartered in the Trump Towers in Manhattan, has announced that a limited addition of Obama Clocks is now available for sale to the American public.

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