Archive for 'Science & Tech'

Interesting Facts About Roulette

Interesting Facts About Roulette

Who doesn’t want to win the Roulette jackpot? It is the dream, but the issue is that not many of us understand that winning roulette is not just about luck, it is about understanding the strategy behind it. To begin trying to beat the wheel we have to understand how random number generation works.

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Jogging Path Groper Busted

Annapolis MD – (SatireWorld.com) Maryland State Police (MSP) officials are asking the public to help identify an approximately 25 year old male caught trying to grope a woman, while she was jogging on a local wooded path. Photos of the suspect will be posted via smart phones, the internet and local TV channels.

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Abundant Food Source Undergoes Initial Testing

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), the US Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) have undertaken a joint project to reduce pollution, yet provide an abundant inexpensive new food source.

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New Democratic Medical Disorder Discovered

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) As a result of the Syrian strike crisis, a startling new political malady has been discovered that affects some Democratic liberal Senators and Congresspersons voting choices.

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No Political Link Discovered Between Sugary Soft Drinks and Sexual Promiscuity

Washington DC- (SatireWorld.com) House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Democratic National Committee Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman-Shultz (D-FL) were appalled at the sexual antics of some current male politicians. They felt a Congressional investigation might be warranted.

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Scientists Grow New Teeth From Urine

Guangzhou, China – (SatireWorld.com) Scientists have grown rudimentary teeth out of the most unlikely of sources, human urine. The results, published in Cell Regeneration Journal, showed that urine could be used as a source of stem cells that in turn could be grown into tiny tooth-like structures.

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The More Technology Advances, The More They Screw It Up (A Satireworld Editorial)

Somewhere in New Mexico…A SATIREWORLD EDITORIAL They’ve gone off and changed my ‘damned leash’ at work. The powers that be finally got rid of the blankety-blank Blackberries, which I thoroughly loathed.

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Obama Administration Rejects a New Fracking Study

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) President Obama, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) administrator, a number of US environmentalists and a foreign researcher met to discuss the results of a new fracking study.

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Donkey Manure Pollution of the Potomac River/Chesapeake Bay Increasing

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) may have made an error in blaming Maryland and Delaware poultry farmers for the Chesapeake Bay’s chicken manure pollution problems.

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Obama Triangle to be Investigated

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) Researchers who have been investigating the strange phenomena supposedly occurring in the Bermuda Triangle are now turning their attention to the mysterious Obama Triangle.

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Walmart To Begin Offering Discount Breast Enhancement Surgery

Benton, AR – (SatireWorld.com) Beginning July 1, the nation’s largest retailer will venture into cosmetic surgery for the first time when Walmart begins offering Breast Enhancement Surgery at all Super Walmart locations. The store where you can get your eyes examined and then get a new pair of glasses, get your nails done, then get […]

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Harry Reid Discovered To Have Cranial-Rectal Inversion

Las Vegas, NV – (SatireWorld.com) Senator Harry Reid, in treatment at a Washington doctor’s office for a minor health issue, has been diagnosed with another ailment. While being seen due to a common cold, it was decided to give the 73 year old man a complete physical. Doctors announced today that the Nevada Senator has […]

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British RAF Goes On A Beer Run…Own Troops Get Bombed!

London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) In the lighter moments of WWII, the Spitfire fighter aircraft was used in an unorthodox role: bringing beer kegs to the fighting men in Normandy.

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President Obama the Cause of US Climate Change

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) Researchers writing in the July issue of the prestigious US Journal of Thermodynamics have blamed the current US temperature increase on President Barack Obama.

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Planned Parenthood to Use New Superman Movie Quote In Abortion Ad Campaign

SatireWorld.com “For every human you save, we will kill a million more.” The above movie quote, from General Zod in the upcoming “Man of Steel” movie, has been selected by Planned Parenthood as the slogan/catchphrase of their new television campaign. This campaign, which is targeted against conservatives and Christians, will begin airing in late June […]

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Australian Pink Slugs Found To Have Similar DNA As Liberal Democrats

So, what’s bright pink, slimy and can grow to up to eight inches long? Why, Triboniophorus aff. graeffei, of course! But it could be a future political super-star as well!

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White House: ‘ Don’t Worry…Asteroid Poses No Threat To Us Here In The White House Bunker’

Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Have no fear: The White House says an asteroid more than 200 miles long poses no threat to President Obama and his family, cabinet, and immediate staff.

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Google Announces ‘X-Ray Vision App’ Now Available For Google Glass

Mountainview, CA – (SatireWorld.com) The first x-ray vision app for Google Glass is now here! Google launched its controversial new privacy defeating app on Monday as college students across America pledged to explore the ‘full potential’ of the controversial gadget. Adult app store 1GooK.Com reportedly confirmed it is already selling hundreds of the newly released […]

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Anchorage Sets New Snowfall Record – Al Gore Unavailable For Comment!

Anchorage, Alaska – (SatireWorld.com) Snow for 232 straight days…it took over 30 years for Anchorage to set a new record for the longest snow season on record.

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Obama Administration Policies Fail the Smell Test

Washington DC-(SatireWorld.com) The Government Accountability Office (GAO) has charged the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) with spending $1 billion on developing a Fecal Matter Odor Detector (FMOD).

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Nostradamus predicted Michael Jackson’s death in 1555!

Paris, France – (SatireWorld.com) In 1555, a French Renaissance occultist and seer, the famous Nostradamus predicted: Quatrain CXXV ‘In the year of our Lord 2009, will come a dark moon over the pale face of a black man called Son of Jack, he would unite with a tender virgin of royal birth and be born […]

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Old Technology Solves a New Problem

Washington DC- (SatireWorld.com) A consortium of foreign and domestic automobile manufacturing executives, a dozen of their corporate lawyers and one very senior US automotive design engineer met with representatives of the National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB).

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C.D.C. Determines The Laboratories Cause Cancer In Rats and Mice

Atlanta GA – (SatireWorld.com) The Centers for Disease Control, in a joint study with the Food and Drug Administration, the Mayo Clinic, and Johns Hopkins University announced today that laboratories cause cancer in expirimenatal test rodent subjects.

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New Diet Craze Sweeping Nation: The M & M’s Diet

Mars, New Hampshire – (SatireWorld.com) Nutrition experts at candy company M&M Mars have released the newest weight lost method to hit the market: the M&M’s diet. Selections from an interview with company spokesman, Skip Jackson, are listed below:

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NASA to Lasso Asteroid

WASHINGTON — (SatireWorld.com) NASA is planning for a $100 million dollar US manned space venture in order to lasso a small asteroid and park it near the moon for astronauts to ride on, a top senator revealed Friday.

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BREAKING NEWS! Scientists Issue Impending Earthquake Warning…Overweight People Asked Evacuate West Coast Areas Immediately!

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) A just released US government report is causing concerns for citizens living on the West Coast. The report blames fat people in automobiles for the rise in tectonic activity mainly in the Pacific rim. Advisories have been forwarded to the US West Coast authorities in anticipation of the ‘Big One’ […]

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Obama Demands National Zoo Exhibit Gummi Bears

Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) Fresh from the heels of a State Trip (family vacation) to Germany, President Obama announced that he feels the National Zoo in Washington D.C. needs to become more international. The President stated that the Zoo needs to add other animals such as Gummi Bears to their exhibits.

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Studies Funded By Stimulus Plan Show Positive Correlation To Long Suggested Theorems

White House Rose Garden – (SatireWorld.com) President Barack Obama boasted in Washington D.C. that studies funded by his 2010 Stimulus Plan have proven that long suspected theories were actually correct. From an impromptu news conference from the Rose Garden, the President was puffed up with pride, seemingly wanting to show Republicans that he was right […]

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For Last 65 Days Chinese In Beijing Choke On Rotten Air

Beijing, China For the fourth time this year, a murky haze has descended over north China, leaving residents of Beijing choking on toxic smog. China’s air hasn’t been this bad since 1954, according to the state-run People’s Daily newspaper.

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Plastic Surgeons Now Offering Rent To Own Services

Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) First, you could rent a house. Renting cars and moving vans were followed by renting to own furniture, electronics, or appliances. The next evolutionary steps were rent to own tires and rent to own home computers. The latest innovation in this fast growing industry are rent-to-own breast implants!

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