Archive for 'Sports'
Nick Saban Plans To Give Alabama Team Emotional “Gipper” Style Speech Before National Championship Game
Crimson Tide Land, Alabama – (SatireWorld.com) In a move that comes straight from opponent Notre Dame, Alabama Crimson Tide Coach Nick Saban has announced that he will give his team a Fighting Irish style “Win one for the Gipper” speech before their NCAA BCS Title Game.
Full StoryNotre Dame Sues NCAA Because One Referee For Football Championship Game Isn’t Catholic
NCAA Headquarters – (SatireWorld.com) The University of Notre Dame has filed a lawsuit against the NCAA because one of the referees (a line judge) scheduled to work in their National Championship Game isn’t Catholic. The University referred to the unwritten rules that state that the NCAA must do everything it can to see that the [...]
Full StoryTony “Oh No!” Romo Continues Tradition By Blowing It Again
Dallas, TX – (SatireWorld.com) Tony Romo didn’t change his spots (like the proverbial panther) and led the Cowboys to their annual choke in the last game of the NFL season. Needing a win to make the playoffs, the Dallas quarterback threw three interceptions to winning defensive players on the Washington Redskins. He also completed only [...]
Full StoryCycling Authorities Ban Lance Armstrong Except For Unicycle Racing
Lyons, France – (SatireWorld.com) The World Cycling Federation has offically banned US bicyclist Lance Armstrong from competing in any further bicycle sporting events. In fact, the 7 time winner of the Grand Prix of cycling lost all his gold medals and is banned for life from even owning a bicycle.
Full StoryBad Golfer & Bad Foreign Policy: Obama continues to Tee Off Out of Bounds and Can’t Find His Balls!
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) With the Presidency adrift and the oval office occupied by an empty chair, American foreign policy, smoldering from malfeasance, amateurism, and political posturing finally burst into flames as radical Islamists desecrated our flag in Egypt and torched our consulate in Libya killing 4 Americans, including the ambassador in the process.
Full StoryJerry Jones’ Eyeglasses Cleaner Refuses to Pick His Nose
Seacacus, NJ – (SatireWorld.com) During the second quarter of the Wednesday Dallas Cowboys-New York Giants game from the Meadowlands, cameras showed Cowboy owner Jerry Jones in his luxury skybox. He was handing his eyeglasses to a man behind him, who pulled a cloth from his shirt pocket, cleaned the glasses, and then handed them back [...]
Full StoryKeith Richards Supports Lance Armstrong In His Fight To Retain His Wins
Several national and international bicycling organizations are in process of stripping Lance Armstrong of all of his wins and medals (including seven wins in the Tour de France). Armstrong is accused of using performance enhancing drugs and of blood doping. Rolling Stone Keith Richards has issued a statement in support of Lance Armstrong. “Even though [...]
Full StoryOlympic Gold Medalist Michael Phelps Expelled From Olympics For Urinating In The Pool
London(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) When you have to go, well, you just have to go! But for Olympic record gold medalist Michael Phelps a tell tale yellow stream lead to his expulsion from future competitions in any Olympic-sized pool.
Full StoryRomneys Volunteer To Be On Kiss-Cams After Michelle Snubs Presidential Hubby Barack
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) In the aftermath of Kiss-cam-Gate, Mitt Romney has volunteered to be filmed with his wife at all possible sporting events from now until the November elections.
Full StoryOlympic Organizers Busk On London’s Tube
London(UK) – The organizers of the London Olympics have taken to busking for spare change on London’s transport system in what is thought to be a bid to make back some of the money which has been spent on the Games so far. In an unprecedented move from members of Olympic committee, extreme lengths have [...]
Full StoryLondon Announces Plan To Fund Olympics By Having Pippa Middleton Mud Wrestle Against Ivana Phuque
London(UK) – (SatireWorld.com) The London Olympics, which are currently running a deficit of hundreds of millions of Euros, may soon be profitable. The London Olympic Organizing Committee has announced plans for a special, pay per view event to be held one week before the Opening Ceremonies. That night, Pippa “the ass” Middleton will mud wrestle [...]
Full StoryThrockmorton P. Turdblossom “The Country Boy Advice Column”
Dear Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, Now that they have decided to have a four team playoff for the NCAA football championship, do you think they are going to open it up to everybody?
Full StoryDespite Requests, IOC Will Not Add Quidditch To London Olympic Games
London (UK) – (SatireWorld.com) Quidditch will not be added to the 2012 Summer Olympic Games as either a regular, medal or as an exhibition sport. Despite millions of requests by Harry Potter fans, the International Olympic Committee has decided that the sport created by J.K. Rowling will not be played in London this summer as [...]
Full StoryReverend Farrakhan Claims “Spirit of St. Louis” Was Named After His Ghost Before His Birth
Chicago, IL – (SatireWorld.com) The Reverend Louis Farrakhan, leader of the mostly African-American religious movement called “The Nation of Islam,” is claiming that Charles Lindbergh’s plane “The Spirit of St. Louis” was actually named after him. The airplane, which Lindbergh flew on the first solo, non-stop flight from North America to Europe (New York to [...]
Full StoryObama Completely ‘out of the closet’, Now Embraces English “Football!”
Camp David, MD – (SatireWorld.com) It now appears that since President Obama ‘tucked in’ Dave Cameron on Air Force I, an event which is said to have accelerated his ‘evolvement’ on the gay marriage question, he’s come ‘all the way out’ with his new infatuation with English ‘football.’(soccer to you colonists)
Full StoryNFL Adopts New Football Helmet
Los Angeles, CA – (SatireWorld.com) The NFL saftey committee wrapped up three years of investigative work in researching the next generation of player protective helmets. Due to recurrent injuries to players that resulted in concussions and brain injuries, the committee has found a lighter, more natural-wearing protective device…The players own hair!
Full StoryIvana Phuque Happy To Announce The Marriage Of Her Brother To Nastia Liukin
Stockholm, Sweden – (SatireWorld.com) Ivana Phuque, the Swedish Speed Skater who won multiple gold medals at the 2010 Vancouver Olympic Games, is pleased to announce that her brother, Richard “Dick” Phuque is engaged. Dick Phuque will soon marry American gymnast Nastia Liukin, making her Mrs. Nastia Phuque.
Full StoryDominican Baseball Player Overlooked By Hall of Fame Again
Live from New York City…. (SatireWorld.com) A baseball player from the Dominican Republic has been overlooked (again) for admission into the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown. Chico Escuala, a former member of the New York Mets, once again failed to receive the required 75% of the votes.
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