Archive for 'Sports'

Transgender Boycott of 2017 Houston Super Bowl Could Cost City Hundreds of Dollars

HOUSTON – (satireworld.com) Following a rebuke by voters of their attempt to turn Houston into a modern Sodom and Gomorrah by forcing sexual boundaries to be blurred to appease an extreme minority, the LGBT community is bringing out the pitchforks in an attempt to punish those voters for saying “no thanks” to their offer to […]

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Environmentalists Descend On Baltimore Maryland

Baltimore MD – (satireworld.com) Cars, trucks, buses and jet airplanes packed with rabid environmentalists and animal rights activists arrived in Baltimore this past weekend to protest the death of a number of innocent birds resident in “Charm City.” Thousands of gallons of fossil fuel were expended and pollution effects were ignored by these folks for […]

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Lance Armstrong Goes Trans-Gender

Leon Springs, CA – (satireworld.com) Well, you knew it was coming right? Just a few years after Bruce Jenner declared himself a ‘woman’ with man parts, washed-up cyclist and admitted doper Lance Armstrong is going to give womanhood a chance and enter the Tour de France bicycle event as a woman.

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New England Patriots Sign Thom Braydee to Play For Suspended Brady

FOXBOROUGH – (satireworld.com) In a surprise announcement today from the New England Patriot’s football team, Coach Bill Belichick told reporters that the team has signed a previously un-drafted quarterback to start the four games that embattled star quarterback Tom Brady has been suspended for, following the investigation into the ball-deflating scandal from last season. The […]

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Tom Brady Deletes Entire NFL Database, Wipes Server Clean

FOXBOROUGH, MA – (satireworld.com) Just days after the NFL announced their findings from a preliminary investigation into whether or not New England Patriot’s quarterback Tom Brady had ball boys intentionally let the air out of his footballs to give him an advantage in games, word has surfaced that Mr. Brady has indeed deleted all files […]

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Grudge Rematch….Empress Michelle vs. Queen Hillary

Las Vegas, NV – (satireworld.com) In 2008 Hillary Clinton ran against Barack Obama to be the Democratic Party’s candidate for president and lost. King Obama has reigned for almost seven years with his consort Empress Michelle Obama. However Queen Hillary desires to be the Democratic Party’s Presidential candidate in 2016. Hallelujah, King Obama cannot run […]

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Famous Olympic Gold Medalist To Sell His Penis On Online Bidding Site

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com) Promised as ‘only used three times and polished alot’ a fully functional male penis is to be auctioned off on a popular online bidding site starting the first of the month.

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Washington Redskins Football Franchise Leaving Washington DC

Olympia Washington – (satireworld.com) The heads of 30 federally recognized Indian tribes (Native Americans) that live in or off the 30 reservations located in Washington State held a meeting here in the Capital city. The subject was how to derive continued revenue to support scholarship and benefits to all Indian tribes residing in the state.

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City Jurisdictions also Over Regulate Citizens Activities

Pizmo Beach Pennsyltucky – (satireworld.com) All over the USA average citizen’s activities are being both regulated and criminalized by elected and appointed members of Federal, State and City governments. There are examples of cities and towns trying to ban sugary soda and salt (food police incumbents); banning the use of leaf blowers due to noise […]

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Kate Upton’s ‘Game of War’ Training Bra Goes Up For Sale At Southerby’s

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) World Auction News reports that a personal item of a well known Sports Illustrated model used during the filming of a advertisement for Game of War has found its way on the popular auction site. In past days all bidding has gone thru the roof.

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Miniature Golf Course to be Built on White House South Lawn

Washington DC – (satireworld.com) Following the resignation of the current Secret Service Director Julia Pierson, lower level Managers were mercilessly grilled by the House Congressional Oversight Committee. Many managers were subsequently removed from their posts. Republicans and Democrats deemed the multiple White House security breaches, sloppy security protocols and the lack of security for President […]

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Baltimore Ravens Football Franchise May Relocate to Indianapolis

Baltimore MD- (satireworld.com) Another Baltimore Ravens football team member has been arrested on felony charges. The team management has seen its players accused of murder, wife beating, assault, animal cruelty and other criminal charges. These criminal charges have been brought to the attention of Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake as besmirching Baltimore City’s “Purple Pride” and Edgar […]

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Obama Invites Seahawks Coach to White House for Lessons on Taking Responsibility

WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com) Just hours after the end of the Super Bowl, President Obama sent an invitation to Seattle Seahawks head coach, Pete Carroll, asking Carroll to come to the White House later this month to help the President understand what it is like to take responsibility for a bad decision. Coach Carroll has […]

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Super Bowl Drug Test Controversy Over Viagra Use On Deflated Footballs

Phoenix, AZ – (satireworld.com) Moments after the New England Patriots clinched the Super Bowl with a stunning end-zone interception, Super Bowl officials re-heated the controversy over under-inflated footballs by announcing an NFL football drug testing results on the game ending football conducted by game referees.

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Tom Brady Admits Guilt, Suffering From “White Quarterback Privilege”

FOXBORO, MA – (satireworld.com) New England Patriot’s superstar, Tom Brady, has maybe admitted guilt regarding the under-inflated football scandal, but he says he has come to terms with his main problem, “White Quarterback Privilege.” Brady fully understands that if a black quarterback in the NFL had been accused of tampering with the inflation of footballs […]

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Show Me Duh Money!

New York, NY – (satireworld.com) The Reverend Al Sharpton telephoned National Basketball Association (NBA) headquarters located in the city and made an appointment to see the NBA Commissioner. Mr. Sharpton called from his National Action Network (NAN) Offices in Manhattan and then took a cab to the NBA building for the meeting.

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Places In The World Not To Visit If You Want To Live

The United Nations – (satireworld.com) The world’s murder statistics are very scary and the highest percentages are in countries most Americans often visit. The latest information from the World Health Organization give the murder statistics for the entire world for the past year.

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Black Man Beaten By White Cop in Broad Daylight in NYC

NEW YORK CITY – (satireworld.com) Reginald Douglas was soundly beaten in broad daylight by a police officer in New York City today. The beating was captured on video by numerous bystanders who did nothing to help the hapless man. Officer Brad Simpson administered the beating while his partner looked on. No backup was needed for […]

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SatireWorld Celebrates ‘Santa and Machine Guns’ Event

SatireWorld Range and Dinner Club, USA Nothing says Christmas like a staff photo with Santa and an AR-15! Just ask the writers at SatireWorld as they pose with jolly Ol’ St. Nick and some high-powered firearms: AK-47s, grenade launchers and machine guns.

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Handful of St. Louis Rams Players Enter Field With Ferguson Salute

ST. LOUIS, MO – (satireworld.com) Several members of the St. Louis Rams came onto the field before Sunday’s game with the Oakland Raiders showing the flawed narrative gesture, “Hands Up, Don’t Shoot,” and went on to win the game 52-0.

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Miami Marlins Use Obamacare Math to Sign Player to $325M Contract

MIAMI – (satireworld.com) The Miami Marlins have decided it’s smart to pay ONE player a record $325 million for the next 13 seasons. Wow. Let that sink in for a moment. Giancarlo Stanton will make approximately $25 million a season and that breaks down to around $154 thousand a game.

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Steve Perry, Journey Hit Song ‘Lights’ Lift San Fran to World Series Title

KANSAS CITY, MO  – (satireworld.com) In a thrilling World Series between the San Francisco Giants and the Kansas City Royals, in which both teams seemed evenly matched, the title came down to one small difference – one team had a kick-ass song from the late 70’s that pumped up its fans and players and one […]

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NFL Goes Pink for Breasts in October, Stays Pink in November For Hoo-Ha Awareness Month

NEW YORK CITY, NY – (satireworld.com) No football fan can escape the sea of pink on TV sets each October as the NFL conducts its yearly campaign to raise awareness for Breast Cancer. Now, the league has decided to stay pink to honor one of the greatest things in the world, the Hoo-Ha. The player’s […]

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DNC Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz Loses Bet – Shaves Mustache

Broward County Florida – (satireworld.com) When it comes to paying up after losing a bet, you can now count on Debbie Wasserman-Schultz as a promise keeper. When Florida State beat Notre Dame this past Saturday, Debbie grabbed a Bic razor and quickly shaved her girlie-moustache.

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Winner Announced In Chelsea Clinton Dry Humping Challenge

Chicago, IL – (satireworld.com) The results are in and a winner has been announced in the First Annual ‘Chelsea Clinton Dry Humping Challenge!’

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Say Goodbye Roger! NFL in shock as Michael Sam says Goodell ignored pleas for help as his fiance beat him with his G-string in Domestic Abuse assault!

New York City, NY – (satireworld.com) LBGT activists picketed Roger Goodell’s office today amid reports that the commissioner refused to intervene after the NFL’s first self acknowledged gay player cried for help after a domestic abuse assault by his ‘girlfriend.”

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ISIS Leaders Vow To Take Up Golf

Mosul, Iraq – (satireworld.com) Soon after President Obama’s speech on Wednesday where he outlined the nation’s hastily cobbled strategy concerning the defeat of the ISIS fundamentalist terror army, the head spokesman for the Syrian rebels announced that ISIS too has shifted priorities and will soon start playing golf just like a certain western leader.

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NFL Commish, Barack Goodell, Denies Knowing About Ray Rice Elevator Video Before This Week

Baltimore, MD – (satireworld.com) Despite recent revelations the Ray Rice video showing Rice knocking out his wife was available months ago, NFL Commissioner Barack Hussein Goodell continued to maintain he had no access to the video until this week. “I only learned about the video when I saw it in the press on Monday, just […]

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Ray Rice Scores Endorsement Deals For Dating Site, Workout Video

Baltimore, MD – (satireworld.com) Exiled NFL running back Ray Rice has landed a couple of endorsement deals in the wake of his humiliating firing from the Baltimore Ravens after video surfaced of him beating his future wife in an elevator months ago.

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Brokeback Mountain Sequel to Star Michael Sam as Gay Cowboy

Dallas, TX – (satireworld.com) Hollywood is abuzz with news that the long delayed sequel to Brokeback Mountain has been greenlit by Dallas Cowboys owner, Jerry Jones, and will be financed with the hot dog sales at Cowboys football games over the next few seasons.

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